Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
K ingston
I can sense that Skye is distracted as we sit in the French restaurant waiting for our appetizers. "Hey, is everything okay?" I ask her, taking in her worried expression. She looks up and nods, but leaves it at that. I wonder if she's still mad at me about what happened at work yesterday. "Remember what we said, Skye?" I remind her.
"Sorry. What?" She blinks as she sips her water.
"We said that business was to stay in the office and fun nights were for fun."
"Yeah. Okay."
"And it seems to me that you're still upset about the pharmaceutical case that I couldn't take because of the possibility of a conflict of interest."
"Oh," she shakes her head. "It's fine. Whatever. You do you."
I lean forward and grab a piece of the crusty baguette and take a bit of the butter. "Are you okay?"
She nods, then makes a face. "I'm sorry. I am just really distracted right now."
"No need to apologize. You want to talk about it?"
"It's just Elisabetta. I am worried about her."
"Why?"
"When I was leaving, she had this older guy in the apartment and he brought cocaine and I guess they're going to do coke tonight and have sex and do something crazy. And she wouldn't tell me exactly what the crazy thing was, but now all I can think about is her jumping off buildings or doing something that might put her life in danger." She stares at me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to?—"
"Hey, don't apologize," I interrupt her. "Who is this guy?” Elisabetta seems to be making poor decision after poor decision and I’m not impressed. Though I’m not going to tell Skye that. I don’t want her to think I’m judging her best friend.
"Remember the guy I told you about from her date that was sitting at the other table? Tombstone?"
"Oh, yeah. You said she went on a blind date with some guy called Captain, right?"
"Yeah."
"And he went down on her, right?"
"Yeah." She makes a face. "And these two guys were watching from the next table and one of them gave her his card and that's who's at the place right now. And he's creepy. Really creepy. And I don't understand why or how she can't see it. And I feel partially guilty."
"Why would you feel guilty?" I frown.
The waiter approaches and we pause. "Here you go," he says, putting the plate down on the table. "And have you decided what you would like for your entrées yet?" he asks in what I can only guess is a fake French accent.
"I am ready. What about you, Skye?"
"Can I get the pommes frites with béarnaise sauce?"
"Oui, madam. And you monsieur?" he says, looking at me.
"I'll have the same."
"And how would you like your steaks cooked?"
"I'll do medium," Skye says.
"And I'll do rare."
"Rare? You like it bloody, huh?"
"I guess I do," I agree.
"Anything else before I put in your orders?"
"No, this is good. Thank you." He nods and walks away. A man in the corner starts playing the guitar and singing and we both glance over at him.
"This is a nice place," Skye says. "Thank you for bringing me here."
"I figured it's not as good as Paris, but maybe almost as good."
"Yeah.” She gives me a small little smile and nods.
"Hey." I reach over and grab her hand. "You're not responsible for your best friend's choices. If she decides she's going to do drugs and have crazy sex with this guy tonight, that's on her. You cannot take on any guilt for that."
"I just feel bad. I've been living with her for free and I know she's been bored and lonely and I know she's wanted to do more stuff and I just haven't had time. I've been working so much. And now this thing with us…" She raises her hands in the air, clearly frustrated with the situation. "Maybe if I would've just told you no and tried to make plans with her, none of this would've happened."
"You really believe that?" I ask her softly.
She sighs. "No, I guess I'm just hurt."
"Why are you hurt?"
"Because she told me that this is not the first time that she's done drugs. I thought she and I…well, I thought we both had never done drugs, but she's done lots of drugs before and she said there's a lot of stuff I don't know. And I just feel like if I'm her best friend, why didn't she trust me enough to tell me?"
I stare at her for a couple of moments before slowly nodding in understanding. "I understand what it is to be hurt by secrets. I understand what it is to be hurt by knowledge of the fact that the people closest to you haven't told you everything that you hope they would have. She didn't tell you because she didn't want you to treat her differently."
"But I wouldn't look at her differently. I would never judge her."
"I know, but maybe she wanted you to feel like she was this ideal of a person that you had in your head, kind of like me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You didn't respect me as your boss because you thought I was grumpy and annoying, which is kind of cute in its own way, but once you realized the sort of cases that the firm takes, I can tell that your opinion of me has changed." I can hear the sadness in my voice because it's true. "You think I'm all about the money. You think that?—"
"No, I don't," she says, shaking her head and leaning forward. "I know I reacted poorly and I know that I've been judgmental. And you're right. I don't know that I would take those cases as a lawyer, but I'm not a lawyer. And I guess you don't get to cherry-pick your clients. And I guess it's like people who are public defense attorneys or prosecutors. Sometimes prosecutors prosecute the wrong people and sometimes defense attorneys get guilty people off the hook, but it's the job. You can only do your job to the best of your ability. I do understand that. I mean, ethically, it would make me feel like shit. But I guess when you go to law school, there's no class on moral compass."
I smile at her. "I don't want you to think that I only care about money. Also, I did take a professional responsibility class."
"What else do you care about in life? Everything that you're working for is in regards to money, right?"
I stare at her for a couple of seconds, the harsh truth settling into my brain at her words, "I guess, yes. Technically, I work for money. We all do."
"You could take on worthy cases and really help people in need, you just wouldn't make as much money. Right?" She shrugs and I nod.
"That's true."
"So, at the end of the day, it's all about money. I'm not judging you. I work for you, right? Sure, I also dance at bachelor parties. It's not like I'm super proud of that, but I do it for the money. I mean, I wouldn't give lap dances or pick up hundred dollar bills from men's faces, but we all have a line of what we're willing to go up to. I guess our lines are just different."
"I don't want you to judge me for that though. I don't want you to think I'm a bad person."
"Why not?" she says. "Why do you care what I think?"
"I just care. You're my employee with benefits. I want you to think that I'm a good guy."
She smiles at me. "I don't know you super well. I know you kind of well, because you've been inside of me and I had your penis in my mouth, but…" She pauses and blushes. "I don't know you like your family, or your long-term friends, or even your partners at the law firm, but what I do know is that you're caring."
"Really? You think that?"
"You kind of rescued me on my bad date, I'd say," she says, grinning at me. "And that kind of meant a lot to me. Even though it led to me in your bed. I mean, I think we both wanted it. You didn't rescue me from the date just to get me into your bed, did you?" She raises an eyebrow and I shake my head.
"It wasn't even on my mind," I say honestly, then I pause. “So yes, I thought about sleeping with you, but I wasn't thinking about sleeping with you when I said, 'Let's leave the restaurant.' You know what I mean?"
"I do," she says, grinning.
"And you know what? We’re here, let's have fun. Let's not think about Elisabetta and all the bad decisions she's making tonight."
"Exactly. We have some bad decisions that we should make ourselves."
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"Like what we're going to do after this dinner."
"You mean you're not just going to whisk me off to a hotel or your apartment?"
"No. What would be the fun in that?"
"I can think of a million things we could do that would make it fun." She grins at me and I chuckle.
"You're a good friend, you know that?"
"Thank you," she says. "And you are too."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Are you saying that I'm not an absolutely horrible person?"
"I'm saying that you're not an absolutely horrible person. And I'm also saying that I redact the comment I made recently.”
"What comment is that?"
"Where I said that you weren't my friend."
"I don't remember that."
"Well, I kind of said we weren't friends with benefits because we weren't friends. But even though you're my boss, you've also been a really good friend to me. You listen to me, you take care of me. I just wanted to say I noticed that and I appreciate you."
"Oh no, you're not getting all emotional on me, are you?"
"Don't worry. I'm not going to start looking at engagement rings again," she says with a quiet laugh. "I don't want to scare you off a second time."
"You didn't scare me off."
"Uh-huh. You weren't about to have a heart attack that morning?"
"I don't think I was about to have a heart attack. Maybe a stroke." I laugh. "Especially when you started asking me my monthly salary so you could figure out how much of a ring you could get."
"That was hilarious," she says. "You should have seen your face."
"Yeah. Well, I'm sure you had fun with it." I lean back in the chair so I can stare at her and she smiles back at me. I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to be feeling the happiness that I'm feeling in this moment. I'm not really sure if I should be enjoying the camaraderie that we're experiencing. I don't really know what you're supposed to talk about or feel when you're in an arrangement like this, and I guess I don't really care because this is the most alive I've felt in a long time. This is the most at ease, open, and happy I've felt.
"You know something, Skye?"
"I know many things, but I'd like to know what you're about to tell me."
"You've made me question myself and my life goals more than anyone else in my life ever has. And for that, I thank you."
"Oh, wow." She looks taken aback. "So have you decided on what your life goals are?"
"No," I say with a small smile. "But the simple fact of the matter is, it's something I'm now analyzing and thinking about. It's something I'm giving real thought. Where are we going? What do I want? And for you, I want you to know that I don't know that I would've thought about this for a long time if you hadn't asked. And I don't want to be sixty or seventy years old wishing that I'd done X, Y, or Z but hadn't because I didn't even realize it was something I wanted."
She smiles at me. "Well, then I'm glad I'm making you question yourself and think about what you want from life."
"So, what about for now?" I say. "Shall we dig into this brie? It looks delicious."
"Yeah, let's do it," she says. "Thank you for arranging this. It's nice."
"You're welcome," I say, grinning at her. "I just hope the rest of the night continues just as great as it started."