Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
S kye
"Oh my gosh. I'm so full," I say as I rub my stomach.
Kingston and I leave the French restaurant and I look up at him with a small smile.
"Thank you so much. Delicious dinner and those profiteroles were to die for."
"I'm glad you enjoyed them." He grins. "Thank you for sharing.
"You're welcome." I stare at him and feel a lightness in my step that I haven't felt in a long while. "So what's next?"
"Would you believe me if I said we're off to the airport?"
"Say what?" I say through narrowed eyes.
"No, no," he says, laughing. "Sorry. Bad joke."
"Oh, no worries. I didn't actually think we were off to the airport."
Disappointment floods through me and I look away. I don't want him to think that I'm that gullible.
"Hey," he says. "I do have something really fun planned though. It's a surprise. I hope you'll enjoy it."
"I'm sure I will," I say, nodding. "And also, thanks for being a great listener at dinner. I appreciate it."
"You're welcome," he says. "I just want you to know that lots of us experiment in life with sex, with drugs, with rock and roll." He chuckles. "And it's okay. It's a phase we go through. Some of us do it in our twenties, some of us do it as teens. Shit, some of us wait until we're geriatrics and realize we haven't experienced life. I just want you to know that if there's anything that you want to experiment with, I'm a safe place. You can confide in me anything, ask to do anything, and I will see if I can make it happen."
I look at him in surprise. Is this really Kingston Chase, the most infuriating, annoying man I've ever met in my life, telling me that he'd be my safe place? What is happening in the universe?
”You look shocked," he says.
"I just don't know what to say. That's really touching. Thank you." I nod. "To be honest, I've never wanted to experiment with drugs, and sex is something I am enjoying with someone I know right now," I say, and then I groan. "Okay, that came out really awkwardly."
"It's okay. I think I know what you mean. You up for a walk?"
I nod vigorously. "Yeah. I mean, depending on how long, but I could sure walk off that steak and those profiteroles."
"It should only be about twenty minutes."
"Sounds good," I say.
We walk down the streets of New York and watch the traffic pass us by. A gaggle of girls walks past us, giggling and laughing about some restaurant they just dined and dashed in. Kingston and I share amused glances. Then comes a group of three guys, talking about starting a band and hitting it big.
"My uncle says he knows a manager," a skinny kid with spiky hair says. "And he can get us signed. This time next year we'll be millionaires."
"Sounds rad, dude," another guy with purple hair says. They high-five and Kingston and I share another amused glance.
Then comes an elderly woman muttering to herself. "Three eggs, a loaf of bread, jam. Three eggs, a loaf of bread, jam." She blinks as she looks up at us. "Grocery list." She smiles. "Three eggs, a loaf of bread..." She pauses. "Oh gosh, darn it. I've forgotten it."
"Jam," I say with a smile.
"That's it. Thank you, dearie. Three eggs, loaf of bread, jam," she continues.
I look up at Kingston and find him staring at me with an inscrutable expression on his face. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
"You know something, Skye?"
"No. What are you thinking about?"
"I was thinking that you're such a pleasure and a blessing to people. You're always so helpful."
"Thanks, I think. That's not your way of telling me you want me to do more work tonight, right?"
"No," he says, laughing. "Though, I mean, maybe."
"Oh my gosh. I do not want to go through any more folders or files." I groan.
"I don't mean the legal work."
"Then what sort of work do you mean?"
“How can I be clear? On top work.”
“What?" But it dawns on me what he means. "Oh, you want me to be on top?"
"If you'd like to ride.” He grins. “A stallion.”
I stare at him for a couple of seconds then nod slightly. "I'm a pretty good rider."
"Well, then this horsey can't wait to be ridden."
"Oh my gosh. That sounded gross."
"I know. It didn't sound as cool as I thought it was going to."
We turn onto Third Avenue and he grabs my hand. It feels nice holding hands and walking down the street, but surprisingly, it feels like we're a couple. I don't know if I should mention that to him, but I don't want to. I don't think it's a good idea for friends with benefits to be holding hands, walking down the street on a Saturday night. But at this moment, I don't want to think about the do's and the don'ts and the can's and the cannots of this arrangement. I just want to enjoy it.
"Do you know something I'm scared of?" he asks out of the blue.
"Spiders, I guess."
"No."
"Snakes?"
"No. Actually, I quite like snakes."
"You like snakes? Oh my gosh, you're disgusting. Who likes snakes?"
"I think they're kind of cool creatures. They can be so long and they can eat things so humongous."
"They can eat you," I say and he chuckles.
"But no, not snakes. I'll give you a couple more guesses."
"Um, alligators?"
"I don't like alligators, but I'm not scared of them," he says.
"Losing cases in court." My face lights up as he wrinkles his nose.
"I don't like losing cases in court, but I'm not scared of that, either."
"I give up. What are you scared of?"
"Going through tunnels," he says.
"Going through tunnels?" I look at him in confusion.
"Yeah, driving through long tunnels. It triggers me. It activates a deep-seated fear inside of me."
"What do you think is going to happen in a tunnel?"
"I feel like it might collapse and the earth and the cement and the concrete will cave in on me and cars will crash and pile up and I'll be stuck.
"Oh, wow. Why do you have that fear? Is it something that's happened to someone you know?”
He looks at me for a few seconds and shakes his head. "No, it's because I was a stupid kid."
“You were? Tell me more.”
"When I was younger, there was this movie and my parents told me not to watch it, but of course I watched it. And there was a scene where some miners went underground and they were traveling to a different part of the mine in a little train in a tunnel and it caved in. They were stuck there for, I think, a few days and they ended up all dying from lack of oxygen, lack of water, and lack of food. I've never been able to forget that movie or that scene.'
"Oh, that sounds traumatic."
He nods. "I mean, if I'd listened to my parents, I wouldn't have watched the movie, but I did, and now every time I drive through a tunnel, I think to myself, what would I do if it caved in?"
"Oh man." I stare at him. "Do you drive through a lot of tunnels?"
"No, not anymore." He shakes his head. "So what about you? Any fears?"
"I hate spiders. I hate snakes. I hate cockroaches." I shudder. "Oh, boy do I hate cockroaches."
"That sounds like you've had an experience. Want to tell?"
"Well, my grandparents used to live in Florida and I remember one summer we went to visit and I was lying in bed and I was feeling comfortable and smiling and laughing."
"Smiling and laughing?" he says.
"Yeah, I was speaking to my cousin. We were talking about the previous day when we were at Disney."
"Oh, okay. Disney's fun."
"Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Anyway, we were joking around and then I started to fall asleep. Then I felt something tickling me and I was like, 'Lucy, stop.' But no one responded and she continued tickling me. So I was like, 'Lucy, stop.' And then she wakes up and she's all groggy and she's like, 'What?' I'm like, 'Stop tickling me, Lucy.' And she was like, 'What are you talking about? I was sleeping.' So I turn on the light..." I stare at him and I shudder. "And there was a big ass cockroach running across my body." I almost scream again. "Oh, the memory of it, it makes me want to die."
He stares at me, his lips twitching. "That does sound traumatic."
"It's not funny. It was awful."
"I'm sure it was."
"That's why I say I could never live in Florida."
"Oh?"
"Because the cockroaches, they love that heat. They don't love cold places."
"You know we have cockroaches in New York as well."
"I know. Don't remind me." I wrinkle my nose. "But yeah, I hate them. I hate them so much."
"Well, I can certainly understand that." He stops suddenly and squeezes my hand. "Wait here."
I look up and I see we're outside a laundromat. "We're picking up your laundry?" I ask him in confusion.
"No, silly," he says, shaking his head as he pushes the door open.
I see a big bulky guy standing to the side. "Got any laundry tonight?" he asks.
"Three loads," Kingston says, and I stare at him.
"You have three loads of laundry that you're picking up? Oh my gosh. Do I have to carry this laundry back to your apartment? How far away is?—"
"No, silly," he says, shaking his head.
The bulky guy looks at Kingston, then looks at me. "Three loads, huh?"
Kingston nods. "Yes, sir."
"Any dry cleaning?"
"Yep. $250 worth."
"Sounds good, sir."
The guy steps to the side, grabs something from behind him, and hands it to Kingston, who hands it to me. It's a ticket that looks like it's to pick up dry cleaning.
"So we're picking up your dry cleaning as well?"
"No, goof. We're at a speakeasy. This is just a front."
"Oh my gosh. This is a speakeasy?" I say excitedly. "Disguised as a laundromat?"
He nods slowly. "Yep, but you have to put that little ticket over here and the door will open."
"Oh, this is so cool." I beam at him. "Because you know I was going to kill you if you brought me to a laundromat to pick up your laundry."
"I wouldn't do that," he says, laughing.
"Yeah, well, you never know with some guys."
"Oh? It sounds like you speak from experience."
"Oh, trust me. I went on a date once with this guy in college and we went to grab a burger, then we went back to his place and I thought it was because he wanted to sing his song to me because he said he knew all of Jack Johnson's songs and I said I love Jack Johnson. But when we got back to his place, he handed me a basket. He was like, 'Here's $5. Will you go to the laundry room and I'll meet you there?'" I stare at Kingston, who's laughing. "It's not funny. It was horrible."
"I mean, did you do the laundry or not?"
I stare at him for a couple of seconds. "I'm not going to answer that question."
"Oh, Skye, you did his laundry?"
"I did one load, but he never came back." I blink and shake my head. "I know. I sound like an absolute loser."
"No, you just sound like a really nice girl that was taken advantage of."
"You could say that again."
I put the ticket into the slot and then a door opens to the right of us. I can hear jazz music playing from the bottom of the stairs and I glance at him with wide eyes.
"Oh my gosh, this is so cool. I've never been to a speakeasy before."
"Well I'm glad that I'm your first," he says as he leads me down the stairs.
We make our way into a small room and there are about twenty other people there sitting at small little circular tables. There's a stage at the front of the room where a saxophone player, trumpet player and someone on the keyboard is playing. A beautiful, tall woman with long curly hair steps onto the stage and starts singing a song about New Orleans.
"This is perhaps the coolest moment of my life," I say, looking at him. "I'm not even mad that we're not in Paris."
"Really?" he says. "You like it that much?"
There is a happy look on his face and I nod. "Yeah, this is the best fun night I've ever had."
"Oh, yeah? Better than date nights even?" he asks, grinning.
"I'm not even going to answer that question," I say as we make our way to a table and sit down.
Within moments, a tall man with a buzz cut stops by. "Welcome to the Laundromat. Would you like two of the specials tonight?"
Kingston looks at me and I nod. "Sure. Thank you."
"Great. They'll be right out."
He disappears and I look at Kingston with wide eyes. "We don't even know what they are."
"I know we don't, but isn't that part of the excitement?"
"Yeah," I say, sitting back. "This is so cool."
I look around me at all the other couples and I feel like I'm part of something. I feel like I'm experiencing a moment on a checklist that I hadn't even been aware that I should have on the list.
"You know what's crazy?" I say, as I look over at Kingston.
"No. What?"
"This is so cool and this is the sort of moment I expected to have on my travels around the world and I didn't even think that I could experience something like this right here in New York. It just reminds me of how little I really know The City, how little I've explored. Shoot, how little I've explored the country."
"So what? You don't want to travel around the world now?"
"Oh, no. I definitely want to travel around the world, but I guess I can do more exploration and travel within the state as well."
"Yeah," he says, with a nod. "And maybe other states."
"Yeah. I mean, I have to see how much money I have, but..."
"Stop thinking about money," he says."You tell me that I'm obsessed with money, but almost everything you talk about comes down to money and how you don't have enough to do it. Sometimes in life, you have to make the opportunities. You have to make things happen. You can't wait until you have the money."
I stare at him for a couple of seconds. "True, but I don't want to be homeless or living in the streets or have nothing to eat."
"You can always count on me. You can always call me. No matter when, no matter why, no matter how, I'll be there for you, Skye."
I blink rapidly, trying not to cry. "That doesn't seem very professional."
“Are you saying I’m not professional?" He scowls slightly.
"I’m saying you seem really caring toward me right now and is that really an emotion that you should have toward me?” Why do I sound like I’m begging him to tell me he has feelings for me?
He stares at me in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
"Just that, in the day, during the week, you're my boss and we have a boss-employee relationship and that works. And then on fun nights once a week, we're able to have fun as a preamble to hot sex and we both know that this isn't leading anywhere serious and we both know that we don't want the other one to catch feelings. So maybe we don't want to do things that could come across as caring, because then that indicates more of a deep relationship and we don't want that. Right?"
He licks his lips and nods slowly.
"Don’t get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the offer, but I just don't want to complicate everything."
"Noted," he says.
"And this is only our first fun night," I say. "It's fine for us to define what is and isn't acceptable."
"Okay," he says.
"You look pissed off at me."
"I'm not pissed off. I'm just taken aback. I was trying to be..." He pauses. "You know what? Let's don't even have this conversation. Let's enjoy the music, wait for our drinks, and have a good night."
I can tell he is annoyed, but I don't know what else to say. I don't know why he's annoyed. He was the one that had initially told me that I wasn't to expect anything. Now he’s trying to tell me that I could expect him to be there for me at any time for any reason? Shit. That’s something only your parents or your very best friend in the world says, not your friend with benefits at the beginning of the friends with benefits relationship.
I lick my lips nervously and just stare at the stage. There's an uncomfortable silence between us, but I'm going to ignore it for now. The singer changes the song to one I know and I start clapping my hands.
"Oh my gosh. I love this song. I love Nina Simone."
"It's a good one," he says, and I try not to sigh deeply.
I'm not going to let his pissy mood annoy me. Not after the evening started out so nicely.
The waiter hurries back to the table with our drinks and a little bowl of peanuts. "I'll be back," he says. "Enjoy."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah?" he says, looking at me.
"What's the name of the drink?"
"It's called the fruity peacock."
"Oh, okay. And are you going to tell us what's in it or..."
"Oh, no. Our mystery drinks, we never say what's in them. We don't want anyone to steal them." He grins. "Enjoy.”
He heads away and I look over and at Kingston, who shrugs. We pick up our glasses and cheers before both taking a sip.
"Oh my gosh, this is delicious." I lick my lips. "But I have absolutely no idea what's in it."
"I think it has rum and maybe pineapple juice." He takes another sip. "There's something else in here, but I just can't tell what it is."
"Right? But isn't it delicious?"
"Very," he says, nodding.
I take another sip then close my eyes and listen to the singer. I feel like I've been transported back in time to the 1940s and I'm here with my mobster boyfriend, doing something illicit and illegal. It feels kind of cool. It feels kind of fun and I realize that I've missed this in my life. I've been so focused on trying to save money to go and see the world that I haven't been enjoying the here and the now.
My eyes fly open and I look over at Kingston. I'm surprised to see that he's staring at me, a weird expression on his face.
"Hey, everything okay?" I ask him.
"Yeah. I was just listening to the music," he says, as if I hadn't just caught him staring at me.
"You know what I realized?" I say, as I take another sip of my drink.
"No. What?"
"I realized that I don't live life for now. I live life for tomorrow and I don't want to do that anymore."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"You know what I want to do right now?" I ask him.
"If you say you want to make love, I can make it happen. I'll just?—"
"Nope. I want to dance."
"You want to dance." He wrinkles his nose slightly and I laugh.
"There's a small little dance floor over there. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
"I'm sure they wouldn't." He nods. "But I'm not much of a dancer."
"Isn't tonight meant to be our fun night where we just do things that we wouldn't normally do? Wasn't that the whole point of this?"
He nods slowly. "So, you're saying if I dance with you tonight, I can take your anal cherry?"
"No," I say, blushing and laughing. "That's not exactly the same thing."
"I know." He grins. "Come on." He puts his drink down and stands up before heading over to me. "May I have this dance?
He offers me his hand and I beam up at him. I take his hand and stand up and he whisks me over to the little dance floor. I can see that all the band members are excited and happy that we started to dance.
He pulls me into his arms and we slow dance back and forth to the sounds of the jazz singers singing. The saxophone player has a solo and it reverberates through the room in a warm, melodic way. I press my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. I can feel the alcohol hitting my brain.
This is nice. His body feels warm and hard and comfortable. I smell his cologne and try not to shiver at how it makes me feel inside.
I'm falling for Kingston Chase.
It hits me suddenly, with a crashing impact, like a freight truck on a highway crashing into you headfirst, and I'm not sure what to do. It's our first official night out together and I'm falling for him. I'm seeing him in a completely different light and I don't know if that's a sign for me to pull away and run as far as I can, but I don't want to.
I know he and I are not going to end up like Max and Lila. I know that he's not my future husband and I know he's not looking for a relationship. I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that he is. But I also know that I've never felt like this before in my life. I've never been with someone that made me feel so many different emotions and so many different firsts. And I didn't want it to end. Not yet. I don't want to run away because I’m scared he could break my heart. I don't want to run away from what could possibly be a life-defining relationship.
Maybe I need a broken heart to really feel like I’m living. Maybe this is going to be the start of my journey. Maybe this is where my life actually begins. Maybe it doesn’t matter how long it lasts, but maybe it only matters that I have this moment.