Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Cam
Rafe gave me the side eye as he passed me in the corridor. Fortunately, that side eye came with a faint smile, not a death glare. He definitely had something planned, but he didn't hate my guts.
I offered my fist for a bump, which he looked at doubtfully before bumping his against it and walking away, chin raised.
Nate looked over his shoulder, confusion etched on his features. “What was that about? Isn't he Andi's assistant?”
“Assistant and good friend,” I agreed.
I supposed he was my friend now too, in spite of the whole drawing-a-mustache-on-his-face thing. That was definitely going to come back and bite me in the ass. I was ready for it. I'd already checked everything in my locker for confetti or a glitter bomb.
I had a sneaking suspicion, if he went after either of us, it would be me, not Andi. Partly because I couldn't fire him, and partly because the Internet was still talking about her and the hotdog, and our kiss. They hadn't stopped speculating about what was going on between us.
“So why was her friend giving you a fist bump?” Nate asked. He stared at me, before his eyes widened. “Ah. I see. Cameron North is getting down and dirty with the boss. Good for you, bro.” He shoved his shoulder into mine.
I shoved him back. “It's not like that. Don't make it sound salacious.”
“Why not, I like salaciousness.” He grinned.
“We've noticed,” Blake said from behind us. “Isn't it your middle name? Nathanial Salacious Southwell?”
“No, it's David, after my father,” Nate said. “But you're right, that was a missed opportunity. Maybe I should change my name.”
“How about Nathanial Dickhead Southwell?” Zack pushed past us and stepped into the recently renovated staff gym.
Technically, this wasn't for us, but we were curious and Andi was proud of the space. In my book, that was a good reason to check it out.
“How about Zack Mashed-potato-for-brains Reed?” Nate called out after him. The words were barely out of his mouth when he blinked a couple of times and gaped.
I followed the line of his gaze to a blonde woman in yoga pants and a pale blue crop top. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail which swung back and forth as she walked towards us.
“Hi, I'm Oaklyn,” she greeted us cheerfully. “Resident personal trainer for the staff gym.”
“Cam.” I nodded my greeting.
“I… I…” Nate stammered. His face actually turned red. “I'm?—"
I clapped him on the shoulder. “My articulate friend here is Nate. I'd like to say he can usually put a full sentence together, but that wouldn't be the honest truth. The reality is, he's only here because he's pretty.”
Nate glared at me. “I can put a sentence together, asshole.” He turned to her and gave her one of his best smiles. The kind which melted panties everywhere he went. “It's nice to meet you, Oaklyn. I'd love to hear about what you do here. ”
The look she gave him was friendly, but she seemed completely unaffected by his charms.
Blake must have come to the same conclusion, because he chuckled. “This is going to be fun to watch.”
I shot him a grin. “Sure is.” Nate wasn't used to women who didn't fall at his feet. I had a feeling this woman was going to give him a run for his money. He might just have met his match.
Still, she indulged him by showing him around all the new equipment. She explained that she hoped the staff would make use of it, so she could put together fitness programs for those who wanted them.
“Told you Andi would be good for this place,” Flynn said softly. “Wasn't long ago that you disagreed.”
“I didn't know her then,” I protested. “I didn't know she really cared about the team. I thought she was here to mess with us.”
“Now you know better,” he said. “Has the team been good for her? I've seen the rumors online. Seems to me like no one was talking about her before she started here. Not really. She was a blip on the radar, as they say. Now, she's practically a Lowball Bay celebrity. How does she feel about that? ”
“She's taking it in stride,” I said. “She doesn't want to let it get to her.”
“None of us do,” he said. “Doesn't mean it doesn't. Doesn't mean it won't in the future.”
I turned to frown at him. “What are you suggesting? You're the one who wanted me to be a go-between, between her and the rest of the team.”
“I did,” he said. “But things have progressed between you two.”
“Jealous?” Blake asked him, sticking his face between us.
“Not jealous, just concerned,” Flynn said. “I was there on the ice, watching while everyone else was watching her. I saw how embarrassed she was. She's going to face that every day if you have a relationship with each other. The scrutiny isn't going to stop. It's easy to say you won't let it bother you, but I've seen it bother you in the past. I saw what it did to you when everyone was talking about you and Clio.”
“Don't bring her into this,” I snapped. “Andi isn't Clio.” I could hardly believe I was hearing this from him. I thought he supported me, no matter what. Wasn't that what friends were for?
“No, she's not,” Flynn agreed. “Clio wanted the spotlight. She wanted everything that went along with that, good or bad. She wanted people to talk about her and remember her. And all the endorsements and shit that followed. Andi doesn't want any of that. Or does she?”
“No, she doesn't,” I said. “She wants to do her job and make a difference in the world.” I ran a hand over the back of my head.
Was he right?
It was one thing to turn off our phones and pretend no one cared what we did. It was easy to avoid Googling ourselves to see what people were saying. But it was virtually impossible to ignore glances. People taking photos. People talking about you in whispers.
Did I want that for her for the rest of her life? Hell no, no I didn't. Could I keep her from it? I didn't know the answer to that. Chances were, it was no. Not while we were together, anyway. Not while people cared what I did for a living. On and off the ice.
If I retired and went into coaching, people would still talk. And she'd be caught up in that.
“Shit,” I said under my breath. “She isn't the only person to have a partner on the team.” It was a weak argument, and I knew it.
“She's the only one who owns the team,” Blake said .
“Do you have to start on me too?” I asked bitterly.
He shrugged. “Just saying. People are going to have a vested interest in both of you. For the record, I think you're cute together.”
“Being cute isn't going to make this easier,” Flynn said. “Look, I'm not trying to ruin this for you. I want both of you to be happy, you know that. But I want you to think about what being together means for both of you. You might retire and try to disappear off the face of the planet, but because of your connection with her, they're always going to remember you. As long as you're together, people will be watching. You need to figure out if you can handle it or not. And if you can't, then do her a favor and walk away right now. Before she ends up getting her heart broken. Before you get your heart broken.” He gave me a nod and followed Nate on his tour of the small gym.
“I hate to say that he's right, but he's right,” Blake said. “We've all seen the way you look at her, even when she thinks you're not looking. I've seen you with a dorky grin on your face when she's not around. You've gone from being a grumpy asshole to someone who's almost tolerable.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “It feels like you all prefer the grumpy asshole. Because that's what you'll get if I end it with her.”
Was I seriously considering doing that? We'd told each other we were falling for each other not two days ago. I meant every word.
Now, everything Flynn said began to create a whirlpool in my brain. One that threatened to turn everything upside down and spit us both out. Every word rang way too true.
I told her I was doing special things for her, but everything was in private. At my apartment, and at Rafe's. I'd thought about taking her out somewhere, but dismissed the idea. Why? Because I wanted to save her from scrutiny. I didn't want people watching us. Filming us. Getting up in our faces. Sooner or later, we'd have to step out of the shadows. What would happen then?
Shit, I didn't want to think about it.
“You know we love you, even if you're a grumpy asshole,” Blake said. “We don't want to see you hurt, that's all.”
He scratched his bearded chin and continued. “Some days, I can't decide if we have the best job, or the worst. We get to play hockey, but people think we belong to them. Like they're entitled to insist on selfies and autographs. I like signing breasts as much as the next guy, but when you're out with someone else, it gets a bit, you know, awkward.”
“The last time I went out on a date, she left early because people kept coming up to us. It was too much for her. But better to know that on the first date than on our wedding day. Or after a couple of kids. That would have sucked.”
He shrugged as though it wasn't as big a deal as it was. As if bringing children into this life was nothing to be worried about. Too many people didn't bother to filter their thoughts where children were concerned.
“Yeah, I guess it would,” I said vaguely.
I should have walked away sooner, before we got in as deep as we were. If I ended it with her, it was going to tear me up, but it would be a lot worse if it happened later. She deserved better than that. She deserved to be happy with someone she could walk around in public with. She deserved to have a normal life, without people pointing fingers at her, and insinuating themselves into her day.
She said she could thicken her skin, but when it came down to it, she shouldn't have to. None of us should, but I chose this life, knowing what came with it. She was thrust into it, thrown straight into the deepest end of the fire, where she could either burn, or tiptoe across the coals.
A flare of anger at her father burst up inside me. He must have had some idea of what he was getting her into. But he'd done it anyway. Her mother too. Both of them had let her walk into this, not really understanding the shit that came with it.
No one doubted she was good for the team. If we stayed together, there was a big chance she'd walk away from the Sea Dragons. To put some sort of distance between us, in the public eye.
Could I let that happen to the team? One thing that was sure, I felt really insignificant right now. I had some thinking to do. I had to put my team and the woman I loved first, before myself.
Even if it meant ripping my heart out of my own chest and stomping it into the ice.