25. Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Five
Then
I feel extremely hot and uncomfortable. The auditorium seats are old and have lost all padding, so my butt already hurts. The kid sitting in front of me keeps farting and it doesn't smell like he'll be stopping anytime soon.
It’s safe to say I would rather be anywhere else right now than sitting here at this debate tournament.
My foot taps on the ground nervously, as I go over my notes. This is the last tournament of the year and if I win my arguments, I’m that much closer to getting the scholarship I need.
My nerves today have nothing to do with my upcoming debate. Strictly speaking, I have this one in the bag. My buzzing nerves come solely from the fact that today we’re debating against Fossil Ridge for the last time. This means I will have to see Noah for the first time in months; since my– our– birthday. I haven’t seen or heard one word from him since that night. He just left me there and never came back.
Whenever I think about it, I still feel the hot sting of embarrassment that washed over my entire body as I watched his back walk out the door with his arm around another girl.
Just to be clear, I’m completely over Noah. To be fair, I wasn’t really “into” him in the first place. I’ve resigned myself to believing that maybe I had a contact high or something from the party and that’s why I had a total lapse in judgment. That has to be it, because there’s no other reason I could have ended up in bed with a very tan and very shirtless Noah Riley on top of me.
I cross and uncross my legs countless times, trying to find any comfortable position, but nothing is working. I’m just growing more and more irritated with each passing moment. That paired with the fact I haven’t spotted Noah yet isn’t helping. The debate is about to start, and I don’t see him anywhere.
Just as I’m about to stand up and walk around the room, Coach Christensen gets up to the mic and starts. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of Poudre and Fossil Ridge debate teams!” The auditorium claps and whoops in response. “I just wanted to start this tournament off by saying that we, here at Poudre, are so sad to hear that your debate team captain, Noah Riley, won’t be joining us today. We send our condolences to him and his family, and we all sincerely hope that we will get to hear him debate again in the future.”
The next words that coach says are all muffled together, because I don’t understand what he just said. My muscles tense and brows knit in concern. What happened? Is Noah okay? Jordyn hasn’t said anything to me about Tyler; I would have remembered that. I have no idea what’s going on, and I can feel myself starting to spiral.
I stand up in confusion, feeling the sudden urge to leave. I don’t know where I would go, but it’s like my body doesn’t know that. My cheeks get hot, and my head begins to swim.
I peer around the room and see both school debate teams looking up at the stage listening to Coach Christensen explain the rules of the upcoming debate.
The reality of the situation comes flooding back to me. This, right here, is where I need to be. I have to compete in this debate, and I need to win it. I don’t even know what’s going on with Noah, so why did I feel the urge to get up? To do what exactly? To go see him? No. Definitely not .
I sit back down and take a deep breath. Keep my eye on the prize. Focus. I convince myself to push the thoughts of Noah out of my mind and change this confusion into frustration and channel that into my arguments. Just then, Coach calls my name up to the stage. I’m first.
The rest of the tournament goes off without a hitch. I win my arguments, and our school secures the overall win. It wasn’t the best debate I’ve ever had, but to be fair, I’m pretty sure a parrot could have won a debate against my opponent, so take that as you will.
As I start to pack up my backpack, I overhear a conversation happening behind me.
“I’m so bummed that Noah wasn’t here. He totally would have helped us win this one.”
“Yeah, I feel so bad for him. I can’t imagine what I’d do if my dad died. I’d be a mess.”
My muscles go weak, and my limbs grow heavy as all the blood rushes down to my feet. Noah’s dad died? My eyes become blurry as tears begin to well up in my eyes. I know they had a hard relationship, but he was still his dad. My chin trembles, and I continue to pack up my bag. What should I do? Should I reach out to him?
My packing slows to a stop as I contemplate what it is I should do. The answer that comes to me isn’t an answer I like.
I don’t do anything. I don’t owe him my feelings of compassion or concern, it’s not like he showed me those things. Me and Noah Riley are not friends. We never have been, and we never will be.