Chapter 17
17
GEMMA
‘Have you got any plans for the weekend?’ Mum asked me that Friday when she brought Poppy back home in the evening.
‘Only meeting up with Crystal tomorrow morning as usual,’ I said.
She nodded, looking at me in silence for a moment as if she wasn’t sure whether to comment or not.
‘That’s the usual thing now, is it? Every Saturday? The beach café and the beach?’
‘Well, yes. While the weather’s still so nice, why not? If it rains, I suppose she’ll just come to my place, like last time. She came round a couple of evenings in the week, actually. Looked after Poppy for me so I could get on with some extra work?—’
‘Did she?’ Mum was frowning now, and sounding a bit worried. Or maybe hurt. ‘Gem, you should have told me if you needed some more help. I mean, I’m pleased to hear you’ve got plenty of work, but I would have looked after Poppy for you, you know that.’
‘You already have her all day on Fridays. And you’re working yourself, three days every week.’
‘I could help out at weekends, though, couldn’t I? I was going to ask you if you wanted to come for Sunday dinner, but if it’d be more helpful, I could just have Poppy again so you can?—’
‘No, Mum – we’d love to come for dinner on Sunday, wouldn’t we, Poppy?’
Poppy, who’d rushed in from Mum’s car to give me a hug, was now sitting on the sofa with one of her teddies, singing to herself. She just looked up at us and nodded, obviously totally unconcerned about where she was going to have Sunday dinner.
‘There’s no need at all for me to have any more childcare,’ I told Mum firmly. ‘Crystal and I just like spending time together, and she happened to offer to look after Poppy occasionally, so?—’
‘At your house. Not at hers?’
‘At mine, yes.’ I frowned. ‘What’s wrong with that? She’s being nice.’
‘But you’ve hardly known her for more than five minutes. Are you paying her for this?’
‘No, Mum, she won’t take any payment, but I treated her to a takeaway and we cooked together on the second day. She just enjoys playing with Poppy and, well, Poppy seems to like her too, so it gave me the chance to start working out how to build up my client base. It’ll be really great if I can get a few more clients; I need the extra work now.’
‘Well, if you do get really busy with new clients, I’ll definitely help you out with Poppy for another day a week.’
‘If I get that busy, Mum, I might be able to pay for another day at nursery. Seriously, at the moment it’s just the occasional favour from a friend, OK? She’s lovely, you’d like her. I might not have known her that long but we get along together really well.’ I didn’t know why I felt so defensive about it. I turned back to Poppy. ‘ You like Crystal, don’t you, Pops?’
‘Yes!’ She jumped up, looking excited. ‘Crystal put me to bed!’
‘Not tonight, baby. Another time, perhaps.’
‘Owh, not fair!’ Poppy slumped down on the sofa again. ‘Want Crystal.’
‘You see?’ I said to Mum, laughing.
‘Well…’ Mum shrugged and gave Poppy a smile. ‘What can I say?’
‘Anyway, we’ll definitely see you on Sunday, then, if you’re sure.’ I gave Mum a kiss. ‘Thanks again for today. As always.’
‘You’re welcome, love. Yes, see you both on Sunday. Bye, Poppy-Pops.’
‘Bye bye!’ Poppy waved and carried on singing to herself. It was ‘The Wheels on the Bus’.
‘ All day long !’ I joined in, sitting down next to her and giving her tummy a tickle. ‘How about getting into your PJs now, miss?’
‘Crystal put me to bed?’
‘No, Poppy, not tonight!’ I laughed. ‘Another time soon, OK?’
As it happened, the next day it was pouring with rain. Crystal called, sounding disappointed. It definitely wasn’t a day for the outside tables of the beach café, nor for a paddle.
‘Well, we could go somewhere else,’ I said. ‘Or you could just come round to mine again – it’s a bit boring for you, but?—’
‘Oh, are you sure?’ she said, immediately brightening up. ‘Of course it’s not boring, it’d be lovely to see Poppy again. And you, of course!’ she added as an afterthought. ‘I’ll bring some cakes.’
‘You don’t need to—’ I began, but she’d already ended the call.
Half an hour later she was at the door, dripping rain from her rainbow-patterned poncho. I’d been feeling a bit low, looking out at the relentless downpour, and starting to think about the approaching winter. The thought of being on my own during the winter was so much more depressing than in the summer. But once again, as soon as Crystal walked in, everything seemed brighter. Her crazy clothes, the colours, designs, and mismatched jewellery she wore, the purple highlights in her hair, the whole aura of different she gave off as she breezed in, calling out to Poppy, grabbing her and swinging her around in her arms – it was enough to lift anyone’s spirits.
‘Here are the cakes,’ she announced, putting a carrier bag down on the table. ‘Sorry they’re not home-made, I didn’t exactly have time. I hope they’re not too full of horrible additives and colourings and, well, sugar, but?—’
‘Ah, we won’t worry about that too much; it doesn’t hurt to have an occasional little treat – thank you, love,’ I said, giving her a hug. ‘It’s so nice to see you.’
Poppy by now was almost hysterical with excitement about the contents of the bag, so I opened it and took out a packet of gooey-looking chocolate cupcakes, a lemon drizzle cake and some Bakewell slices. Poppy’s eyes were almost out on stalks.
‘You shouldn’t have bought all these!’ I remonstrated. ‘You’ll have to take some of them home with you.’
‘I don’t really eat cakes,’ she said with a shrug.
‘So why…?’
But she was too busy chasing Poppy out of the kitchen to answer me. I shook my head. I’d have to make sure I returned her generosity another time. Meanwhile, I made coffee, put a selection of the cakes on a plate and called Poppy to come and sit at the table.
‘Do you mind if we sit in here?’ I said to Crystal. ‘She’d make a terrible mess if I let her loose with a cake in the living room.’
‘Of course I don’t mind.’ She pulled out a chair. ‘This is so nice, being in here together, warm and cosy while the rain pours down outside. Lovely, isn’t it, Pops?’
‘Lovely,’ Poppy agreed, reaching for one of the chocolate cupcakes.
‘Ask nicely first, Poppy,’ I reminded her.
‘Please can I have?’ she said, looking beseechingly at Crystal. The buttercream from the cake was already all over her fingers.
‘Of course, sweetheart.’ Crystal helped her take the cake out of its wrapper, and I got a knife to cut it into halves. ‘There you go!’ She laughed as Poppy licked her fingers first. ‘That’s the best bit, isn’t it?’
We sipped our coffee in silence for a while and I persuaded Crystal to have a slice of the lemon drizzle cake so I wouldn’t feel guilty for eating one myself.
‘I’ve had a response from one of the potential clients I approached the other day,’ I told her. ‘They want me to quote them for some work: a new website and possibly a social media campaign.’
‘Wow, Gemma, that’s amazing!’
‘Well, I’m not getting ahead of myself. I’ve got to pitch the quote for the website right, first. I presume they’ll be getting other quotes.’
‘Well, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. You’re going to be busy, aren’t you, if you get the work.’
‘Yes. But I’ll manage. I can easily fit in more work in the evenings after Poppy’s in bed.’
‘And tire yourself out completely? I’d be more than happy to look after Poppy sometimes at weekends. Just say the word. Poppy, how would you like me to come and play with you sometimes on a Saturday, like today, while Mummy does some work?’
‘With cake?’ Poppy asked, wiping chocolatey fingers across her face.
‘We don’t ask for cake, Poppy,’ I reminded her gently. ‘Sorry, Crystal.’
But Crystal was smiling so lovingly at my daughter I couldn’t help but feel my heart melt. She seemed to love her so much – and despite her wishing she had her own children, she wasn’t coming across as being jealous or resentful – far from it. She seemed almost childlike herself in some ways, as if she and Poppy were just two little friends. And Poppy seemed to love her, too. I felt a bit bad, knowing Mum had already offered to look after Poppy more often if I needed it, and I knew how much she absolutely adored her little granddaughter. But Crystal lived nearer, and it seemed that spending time with me and Poppy had given her a new purpose in life, whereas – whatever Mum said about having plenty of spare time – she was a busy lady, with lots of her own friends and activities she enjoyed.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘If I do get inundated with new work, I’ll let you know. Thank you.’
The rain stopped a little later, and although it was still grey and chilly outside, we decided to go for a walk to work off the calories from the cake. Crystal asked to push Poppy’s buggy, and kept up a running commentary to her about the passing traffic, the flowers in people’s front gardens, the clouds in the sky and whatever else we saw as we headed towards the park. I remembered doing this all the time when Poppy was a baby – trying to be the perfect mum who gives her child the very best start in life. But my own life had gradually got in the way, and these days I was ashamed to realise I probably didn’t talk to Poppy so much while we were out, or engage her as well as Crystal was doing. I supposed it was a novelty for her, but even so, it made me determined to try to do better.
When we got to the park, Poppy wanted to get out of the buggy and run ahead of us.
‘She’ll be fine,’ I reassured Crystal, who’d started to run after her. ‘She won’t go too far ahead.’
‘Oh, I just wanted to run with her!’ she said. ‘Come on, Pops, let’s have a race!’
I watched in a kind of wonder for the rest of the morning, as Crystal played with Poppy in the playground, pushing her in one of the baby swings and catching her at the bottom of the little slide, and chatted to her about the ducks on the duck pond, choosing their favourite duck. When we reached the little café at the other side of the park, Crystal looked at me, raising her eyebrows, and whispered that it was a long time since we’d had coffee and cake, and perhaps somebody might like some lunch? I was amazed to see that it was nearly one o’clock.
‘Yes, OK, but I’m paying: no arguments,’ I insisted.
‘Cake?’ Poppy said, seeing the display at the counter. And then, catching sight of someone holding a cornet, ‘Ice cream!’
‘No,’ I told her firmly. ‘A drink and a sandwich, Poppy. They do special little sandwiches for children. You’ve already had cake today.’
Her eyes started to fill up with tears and her mouth started quivering. She stamped her feet and I sighed, guessing we were now in for a full-blown tantrum.
‘Hey, Poppy, do you know what happens if you eat too much cake or ice cream?’ Crystal said, crouching down to her level.
‘No.’ Poppy stared at her, interested, holding fire on the crying fit.
‘Your tummy gets fatter, and fatter, and fatter…’ Crystal was tickling her tummy as she spoke, and Poppy couldn’t help but start to giggle. I took the opportunity to order her a sandwich. ‘And in the end…’
‘Does it burst?’ Poppy asked excitedly.
‘It might do! It might get so fat, it goes BANG!’ Crystal clapped her hands together hard, making Poppy jump and then double up with laughter.
‘BANG!’ she shouted as Crystal led her to a table in the corner. ‘BANG, BANG!’
‘All right, let’s do it a bit more quietly,’ Crystal said hurriedly. ‘How does it go? Whisper! It’s our secret! Bang, bang !’
‘It’s amazing,’ I whispered as I sat down at the table with a tray of drinks and sandwiches, ‘how something like that can seem funny to a two-year-old.’
And it was amazing, too, I found myself thinking as I smiled at my little girl tucking into her sandwich without another word of protest, how brilliantly my friend seemed, instinctively, to be able to handle children. And it was just so, so sad that she hadn’t any of her own.