Chapter 9 Seeing Through You #2
Her knuckles whiten around the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the world outside as silent tears carve paths down her cheeks.
"Everleigh?" I call softly, wiping away the tears that were also falling from mine.
"Oh, fuck off, you bitch," she hiccups. "I don't know why I'm surprised. Stupid tears. I hate crying. I never cry, but every time you make me listen to one of your damn songs, I always do."
"All of them?" I snicker.
She aims a quick glare my way. "Yes, even the ones that are upbeat and fucking, all right?"
"You love me. You really, really love me," I tease, holding a hand to my heart.
"Whoa, now," Everleigh splutters. "I wouldn't go that far."
I mock gasp. "The audacity."
The car fills with a comfortable silence as our playful sides become a little more serious. Everleigh says nothing until we pull into the parking lot of Grinder's. She puts the car in park, shuts off the engine, and turns her body in the seat so she's facing me.
"This is one of your most beautiful, yet your most painful, songs ever written. The depth of pain, the yearning to be loved, the need to be seen, you can feel it all in the lyrics. Do you want my honest opinion about what you should do with it?"
"Of course, I do! Your opinion is one of the most important ones to me, Evie. It always has been."
"It would be a disgrace not to let the world hear this song, Vinnie.
There'll be more people that it'll resonate with than you could ever imagine.
Plus, people need to hear the damage that can happen when you play so carelessly with someone's heart.
That's something that no one ever thinks about.
The damage that they leave behind." She leans across the middle console and squishes my face between her hands.
"Show every fucking body the damage that little ferret dicked motherfucker left behind, baby cakes.
Make him face it. Because if there's one thing in this world you are not, it's going to be someone’s fucking just because.
You deserve the number one spot in someone's life, and if he's too dumb to recognize that, then baby, he ain't worthy of you. "
Everleigh places a kiss on my forehead and then sits back in her seat with a smile. "Now, let's go get some damn food. I'm starving."
The numbness I’ve grown used to still lingers, but Ever’s words spark a flicker of hope. I might come out of this with holes, battered and bruised, but I’ll be standing—shouting to the world that I survived.
As we head to the door, I let Everleigh’s chatter wash over me, eyes on my shoes and a faint smile tugging at my lips. She fills the silence with stories and nonsense, knowing I can’t bear the quiet when my heart aches.
The bell above the door jingles as we step inside. A few of the employees call out to us in welcome, but that's not what stops my feet from moving and my head jerking up.
It’s the sudden way Everleigh freezes, a low, dangerous growl rumbling up from deep inside her.
I follow her gaze, and whatever scraps of wholeness I had left crumble into dust.
Sitting at a table, laughing, is Alek.
Along with David and fucking Jerica.
Jerica and Alek are sitting together on one side, and David sits on the other.
I watch them, hollow inside, while they remain blissfully unaware of the invisible blood pooling at my feet.
Jerica bumps her shoulder into Alek’s, laughter spilling from her lips, and I catch the way his whole face lights up in response.
David must feel our eyes on him because his head jerks in our direction and locks onto me. Then he turns back to them and leans across, saying something. He must tell Alek that I'm here because his head lifts and veers our way.
Relief, regret, guilt, sadness...they all cross his face before it blanks.
"Let's go somewhere else," I murmur.
"No." Everleigh grabs my chin and turns my head until I'm looking at her.
"You will not run. That's not what you do, baby cakes.
My best friend does not run from little cuntmaggots.
" My lips twitch. "What we're going to do is go find a seat.
If we pass by them, we're going to say hi like he's a complete stranger, not someone we've spent the last three years with.
Then we're going to fucking eat because he is not fucking with my food.
That bitch has nothing, absolutely fucking nothing, on you. Do you hear me?"
"I hear you," I whisper.
She locks her fingers through mine and begins pulling us in their direction. Alek stands with a smile, but I keep my eyes to a spot right over his shoulder, so that it looks like I'm peering straight through him.
We stop beside their table, and I fight to keep my breathing steady so that none of them knows how hard this is for me. My hand trembles in Everleigh’s, and she tightens hers around mine, letting me know that she’s there, that she’s got me.
“Well, isn’t this all nice and cozy?” Everleigh snarks.
“Ever,” Alek says wearily.
Part of me wants to laugh at the tremor of fear in his voice, but the emptiness inside me swallows everything else.
Everleigh turns to me when he says her name and lifts a brow. “Do you hear something, Vin? Sounds like a little cuntmaggot trying to speak to me.”
“Hey, you don’t have the right to call him names,” Jerica says, standing up in the booth.
“Oh, shit,” David mutters.
Alek tunes out everyone else, his gaze locked on me. I look right through him, slipping into a numbness so complete that nothing can touch me.
He reaches for me, fingertips grazing my cheek, and I jerk away as if his touch burns.
"Hayvin," he whispers, his voice fracturing like shattering glass.
I glance at Everleigh, and the look she gives Jerica and Alek could cut glass.
“Alek, get your little girlfriend. She opens her mouth to me again, and I’m going to inform everyone in this place what a stinky pussy she has,” Everleigh commands.
“Excuse me,” Jerica gasps.
“J, shut the hell up,” David mutters.
Everleigh widens her lips into a huge smile at Jerica. “Be a good little girl and listen to your brother.”
“All right, Everleigh. That’s enough,” David says with a sigh.
She turns toward David, the wrath burning hotly in her eyes. “You also don’t get to speak. You know what’s been going on, but you had to call him to come help you with something you didn’t need help with, didn’t you?”
I squeeze her hands and finally put a stop to this madness. “Evie, that’s enough. It doesn’t matter anymore. They’re all together now, and that’s all any of them have cared about. They’re no longer worth my time or the breath I’d waste on them.”
Alek’s eyes flash at the vacancy in my voice and the way I refuse to acknowledge him. Why should I? I gave him that acknowledgement for three years, only for it to be thrown in my face when he chose her over me.
Before anyone can react, Charlie, Keaton, Amelia, and her boyfriend arrive. They stop by me and Everleigh, surveying the others.
“My manager told me I should get down here. What the hell are you doing, Alek?” Charlie asks.
“Wait, why are you getting on to him? We were just enjoying our food when they stopped over,” Jerica says.
“Jerica, I have no issue with you. I never have, but never jump into a conversation I’m having with my best friend,” Charlie replies.
“Hey, Char,” I say quietly. “It’s okay. We’re going to go grab something to eat. We won’t cause any more problems. I’m sorry you got called down here. Do you want us to leave?”
She snorts. “Fuck that.” She reaches out and grabs Everleigh’s hand. “Come on. You all are coming to eat with us. Leave these three to their little romance.”
Calling me shocked doesn’t even scratch the surface. Charlie turning her back on her best friend? I never saw that coming. I don’t want to drag them into my mess. Alek and Jerica are mine to deal with.
“We love you. That means when you’re hurting, so are we.
Alek is my best friend and I love him to pieces, but he’s a blind fucking idiot, and he’s being a damn fool.
He was always there to help me find my footing with Keaton.
This is my way of helping him find his,” Charlie answers the statement I didn’t realize I said out loud.
I’m overwhelmed with the support I have.
Support that I never would have requested or expected to have.
Charlie doesn’t know anything more than what I’ve told her when I moved out, unless Alek filled her in on other stuff.
If he did, then whatever he said to her, she didn’t approve of because their friendship wouldn't have tension over something so inconsequential.
The whole meal, Alek’s stare crackles against my skin, tiny jolts of longing I can’t ignore. His eyes beg for my attention, making every bite taste like cardboard. Not that I’m hungry, anyway.
Charlie, Amelia, and Everleigh do their best to keep the conversation away from the people behind us, and I appreciate it.
The longer I sit here, the more my polite smile slips away, lost in the crowd and the noise.
I tune out the chatter and watch Charlie and Keaton instead.
They’re a marvel. Survivors of something that would have shattered most people beyond repair.
Somehow, they’ve beaten the odds. Watching Keaton dote on her, you’d never guess he once betrayed her so deeply.
Charlie must be made of steel, because I can’t imagine surviving what she did. I’m barely holding it together, just knowing Alek chose Jerica over me. If he’d actually slept with her…
I cut the thought off, not even wanting to go there because it isn’t conducive to my healing process or trying to move on from him.
Whether they finally slept together or are going to sleep together is no longer any of my business.
My meal curdles in my stomach as the weight of everything crashes down. I shove my plate aside, queasy with all the feelings I can’t swallow.
“Guys, thanks for showing your support, but I need to get out of here,” I tell them quietly, sliding from the booth and grabbing the bill from the table before anyone protests.
Charlie could have eaten for free, but she informed us it’s not something she ever does. She said even if it’s her own money she’s funneling back into the business, it means her employees get paid.
Paying for dinner is my silent thank you, a way to show my gratitude without having to say a thing.
A commotion from where I came from drags my attention from the cashier.
Amelia and David are in a heated discussion, and when she points to Alek and Jerica, it’s easy to understand what it’s about.
He motions toward her boyfriend, who’s watching them with narrowed eyes.
Amelia’s lip curls back from her teeth as her face flushes.
She says something that leaves David pale, then smiles viciously and turns away from him.
“Here’s your change, ma’am. Have a great night,” the young girl says, passing me the money.
I cram the bills into the tip jar, wish her a good night, and wait for Everleigh. But Alek is coming too, his determined look making it clear he won’t be ignored.
My feet itch to bolt, desperate to escape. I last as long as I can, but the idea of facing him again is too much. I break for the door.
“Hayvin,” he calls. “Wait.”
I shake my head and hurry toward Everleigh’s car, but he’s quicker than I am. As I’m opening the door, he grabs hold of the top of it to keep me from closing it.
“Please,” I whisper.
“Just give me a few minutes. Please, baby girl,” he pleads quietly.
Tears threaten, stinging my eyes, but I clamp them shut. I won’t let him see me break.
Too much.
I’ve already given him too much of me.
With that, I inhale deeply, square my shoulders, and turn to face him. This time, I meet his eyes and let him see everything I’ve been hiding.
Let him see the damage.
Let him see the destruction.
I have to carry it, so he should have to own it.
“No. No, I won’t give you a few minutes, Alek.
I gave you enough of my time. Three years to be precise, and look at where that got me.
You don’t deserve any more of my life. Chances, Alek.
I gave you so many chances to put me first. To choose me.
To love me. But you never did. It was always her.
You’ve refused to put me first, even when I was begging you to, so it’s up to me to do it.
This is me putting myself first, Alek. This is me, loving myself.
This is me, choosing me. So, no. I won’t give you a few more minutes.
I won’t even give you a few more seconds.
Go back inside to your girlfriend and your best friend, and leave me the fuck alone. ”
“She’s not—”
“I. Do. Not. Care,” I interrupt him. “Get your hand off my door before I call the cops and get you for harassment. You made your choice, Alek. Now, live with it.”
He swallows hard, lets the door go, and steps back. “This isn’t over between us. You’re my choice, Hayvin.”
“Yeah? Well, that’s too bad because you’re no longer mine,” I tell him before slamming the door and shutting him out.
Everleigh came out during mine and Alek’s chat, but I was so focused on getting through it, I didn’t even notice.
She starts the car and backs out of the parking space. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Vinnie,” she says softly. “You didn’t think you were strong enough to do that, but I knew you were. The hardest part is over, baby cakes.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, turning to peer out the window.
Maybe the hardest part is behind me, but the pain still slices deep. It’s a warning about letting love in too close, especially with someone like Alek. I thought Titan taught me that lesson years ago, but this time, the heartbreak cuts even deeper.
I loved Titan with a girl’s heart. Alek took the woman’s. Now my heart is so bruised, I’m surprised it still beats at all.
This isn’t over between us.
Alek’s words haunt me. There was something in his tone that warns me of the upcoming fight I’m going to have on my hands.
What I don’t understand is why?
Why now?
He has everything he’s wanted. She’s here now, and she’s single. And from what I saw tonight, she’s his for the taking.
So, why tell me it isn’t over between us when it’s so obvious that it is?