Chapter 12 The Invisible Woman
The Invisible Woman
Alek
My foot slams the brakes the instant I catch sight of him lurking outside Grinders.
It’s a good thing it’s early in the fucking morning because there’s hardly any traffic out on my way to work. This means I don’t unintentionally start a pile-up while trying to figure out what the fuck my woman’s ex is doing back in town.
Titan.
My grip on the steering wheel turns white-knuckled, a low growl building in my chest.
I shove my sunglasses up, needing to be sure it’s really him standing there.
Last I heard from Everleigh, he was out of touch because he was on a mission. Sounded like she wasn’t expecting him back anytime soon either.
A horn blares behind me, and I curse, watching Titan’s head snap in my direction. His eyes pin me through the windshield.
He smirks, and as I shove my glasses back down, he blows me a mocking kiss.
That little move makes my jaw clench. It tells me he’s already talked to Hayvin and knows exactly how badly I fucked up.
Refusing to let him see that it gets to me, I blow a kiss right back and peel away, tires screaming.
Is he back because of Hayvin? Did she call him?
My mind spins with images of them the whole way through the drive. By the time I reach work, it feels like molten rock is crushing my chest, and I have to wrestle with myself not to turn around and face him.
Sure, his sister lives here, but my gut says she’s not the only reason he’s come back to Granite Bay.
It isn’t until I drop into my office chair that I finally name the emotion twisting inside me.
Fucking jealousy.
It’s tangled up with a mess of anger, but jealousy is the loudest. I’ve never felt it before, and I hate every second of it.
It makes me feel unhinged. With a hostile takeover looming today, losing control is the last thing I can afford.
Not hearing Hayvin’s voice, not seeing her face, keeps me awake most nights.
She’s been my world for three years, and only losing her made me see how badly I showed it.
Now, all I want is to prove she still is.
Charlie and Keaton gave me advice. Be honest. Stop running from my feelings.
Stop hiding behind my friends. I’d already been thinking it, but hearing it from people in the same fight helps clear my head.
Charlie’s advice would be much different if she knew about the kiss between you and Jerica.
That sneering voice in my head makes me grind my teeth, a brutal ache blooming behind my eyes.
Damn it. I never wanted that kiss.
You could have pushed her away.
A buzz from my desk interrupts my thoughts before I can ponder that subconscious statement. My assistant informs me over the intercom that it's time for the boardroom meeting.
“Thanks, Malcolm,” I reply, standing and fixing the cuffs of my shirt.
I shrug on my suit jacket, forcing every other thought out of my head. The Barrington deal takes over as I brace for the fight ahead.
The boardroom battle is simple. Facing Hayvin is a war I’ve never fought, and it scares me more than anything.
***
I power down my computer, snatch my briefcase, and click the lock on my office door. The day has wrung me out, and the thought of returning to my empty apartment is bleak. Still, I have to track down Hayvin and try to untangle the mess I made.
Loosening my tie, I make for the elevator, tuning out the voices calling my name. After a day like this, conversation feels like a punishment. There’s only one person I want to talk to, and until I figure out how to fix things with her, everyone else is just background noise.
Just as the doors are about to shut, a hand slides between them, halting their progress and making them open again so that they can step on.
Of course, it isn’t just one or two people. Luck never runs that way for me. The whole crowd that was vying for my attention a moment ago piles in.
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, wishing I could vanish. Socializing is the last thing I want, but I’m trapped. If Mr. Baladucci hears his loyal minions complain about my attitude, I’ll never hear the end of it.
“Alek, man. You coming out with us tonight? It’s been a while since you’ve chilled with us,” Perry asks.
Perry and Zebulon aren’t as grating as the rest. I never clicked with them the way I did with David, Keaton, or Charlie. Maybe it’s because they’re already wrapped up in their own tight-knit bromance.
The others have these little habits that get under my skin, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why they bother me so much.
Especially Oral.
Seriously, what were his parents thinking, naming him that? I’ve never met another Oral, and there’s a reason for it. He got tormented all through school until teachers switched to calling him by his middle name. Stanley is a definite upgrade, and at least it made him less of a target.
“Yeah, dude. Come and have some drinks. You can bring Jerica, or we have a couple of little hotties we could hook you up with. They’re definitely up for some fun,” Stanley says before his lip curls into a smarmy smile and he wiggles his brows.
“Not really seen you hanging with Jerica lately, so we didn’t know if shit went down between you two or not. If you’d rather chill with someone new, there will be plenty at the bar we’re heading to,” Jonathon says.
I stare at the group of them, my eyes wide as I listen to them try to hook me up with someone else.
Past interactions with them fly through my head.
Never once did they ask about Hayvin. They didn’t mention her.
Nothing. I searched through my memories with my college colleagues and realized that only Jerica and David knew about Hayvin. .
Did I really never bring her to work with me? None of the functions? None of the conversations between coworkers? Nowhere?
My body jolts, feet tangling as I stumble into the elevator wall. My briefcase slips from my grip and lands with a dull thud. In the mirror, I catch a glimpse of my pale, shaken face. My shoulders hunch, chest collapsing, stomach churning as the truth crashes over me.
They never bring her up because they don’t know she fucking exists in my life.
They thought something was going on with Jerica because that’s the impression I’ve given off to fucking everyone.
They try to hook me up with someone because they believe I’m single.
You are, that fucking insidious, taunting voice whispers in my ear, but it’s easy to ignore as I fight to keep the vomit from coming up.
How the fuck did I get here? How did I not let everyone know about the one person who means the fucking world to me?
Hell. Maybe it’s time to quit saying that, because if she were my world, then everyone would have known it. Right?
My heart screams at me that it’s a lie, that she’s bedded deep in my skin, but it’s hard to believe that when she’s some invisible party to everyone around me except my closest friends.
I brace my trembling knees and drag shaky hands over my face, wishing I could wipe away the last few weeks along with the sweat and regret.
My gut knots as I exhale every last bit of air, then inhale again. The truth still stings, but at least I’m steady enough to face my coworkers and finally do what I should have done years ago.
Clearing my throat, I glance back at them. “Much as I appreciate the offers, I’ve got a woman in my life that I’m fucking crazy about.”
This time it’s their eyes that bulge and mouths that gape.
“You mean Jerica?” Stanley smirks.
The tips of my fingers dig into my temples as I shake my head. “No. Not fucking Jerica. There’s never been anything between us.”
They all blink rapidly as they try to process what I’ve just told them.
“Then who the hell is it, man? She and Charlie are the only two women we’ve known you to really be associated with. I mean, we thought you were probably seeing someone, but we could never be sure,” Perry questions.
“You got some invisible girlfriend?” Mike jokes.
The muscles in my face contract as he hits way too close to fucking home for my liking.
“She’s not fucking invisible. Not to me. She’s the only goddamn woman I’ve seen since I met her.”
“How long are we talking here, Alek? You’ve worked with the four of us since college graduation, and this is the first we’re hearing about someone serious,” Zebulon asks in the perpetually brusque voice of his.
My gaze slides from their faces to the glowing numbers ticking down on the elevator panel. I fold my arms tight across my chest, as if I can shield myself from their silent judgment.
“Been with Hayvin for three years,” I admit.
“Wait. Is that the chick David mentioned? We thought she was just one of your hookups because you never spoke about her. So, we never connected her with your someone serious,” Perry says.
“Dude. What the absolute fuck?” Zeb growls. “You’ve been with someone for three fucking years and this is the first we’re hearing about her? Do you know how shitty that is?”
“You think I don’t know that?” I snap.
He snorts. “Obviously not, or you wouldn’t have kept her hidden from every-fucking-body.”
“Fuck off, Zebulon. You don’t know shit about my life with her.”
He straightens and stares down his nose at me.
“Maybe not, but I can tell you what I do know.” He lifts a finger.
“We didn’t know she existed until just now.
” Another finger. “You always gave the impression you were with Jerica because you were constantly up her ass.” A third finger gets added.
“You never brought her to any of the work functions we had, again, giving the appearance of being single or with Jerica.” A fourth lifts.
“There’s been ample opportunity for you to open your damn mouth and bring her into the light. ”
Zebulon drops them and narrows his eyes at me.
“So, what’s the deal? Is she scarred in some way?
Are you ashamed of her? Is it not serious between you?
Do you not love her? Why was it so fucking important that you keep her in the dark?
” He blows out a breath as secrets swirl in his electric blue eyes, and he shakes his head.
“Nobody deserves to be a secret, dude. Nobody. Get your shit straight, Alek.”
He grows quiet and leans against the wall of the elevator. Our conversation comes to an end as he drops his head back against the chrome and his eyes close. It's just as well, since his questions strike me and leave me breathless, unable to talk anymore.
Their words hit me, sharp as blades, demanding answers I can’t give. I just stand there, bleeding inside, waiting for the elevator’s chime to end this slow torture.
I want to lash out at Zeb, but that would be a lie. The only one who deserves my anger is me. I’m the architect of the hell Hayvin and I are trapped in.
I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. The worst part is, there’s not even a real reason for making her feel like she was ever second best.
Sure, watching my parents fall apart and seeing Charlie and Keaton struggle after betrayal has messed with my head. But deep down, I should have known Hayvin isn’t like that. She’d never hurt me. I’ve been stuck in survival mode for three years, and only now do I see how much it’s cost me.
The elevator dings, snapping me out of my spiral. I stoop to retrieve my briefcase and trail the others out, only to find David and, of all people, Jerica waiting for me.
Zebulon throws me a glare, and for once, I let my guard drop in front of the guys, letting him see the raw truth in my eyes.
I don’t want her. Not here, not there, not motherfucking anywhere.
He raises a brow back, silently asking me what the hell I’m going to do about it.
“I don’t fucking know, Zebulon. But I know, come hell or high water, my woman will understand she’s the very air I breathe. Got me?” I tell him.
He nods sharply. “It’s not too late for you, Alek.” Then I swear I hear him say under his breath, “Not like it is for me,” but I can’t be sure because he’s walking away with Mike, Stanley, and Perry by then.
David asks me what that was about, so I fill him in. He watches me with blank eyes as I tell him about what went down in the elevator and the conclusions I came to about what a shit boyfriend I’ve been.
When I finish, he raises a brow and smirks. “I told you so.”
Irrational anger rushes through my bloodstream at his smug tone.
“Yeah? How the fuck are you and Amelia, Dave? Getting along well? Living a happy life? Getting all that loving from her? Or are you fucking anything that walks because you all aren’t exclusive?
” I finish, putting air quotations around the last two words.
My chin hits my chest, and I blow out a breath before raising my eyes back up. “Fuck. I’m sorry, man.”
“You’re a dick when you’re hurting,” he says tonelessly.
“I am, but I’m also right. You can’t come at me about my shit, David, when your shit with Amelia is just as fucked. Worry about fixing your fuck ups before you get self-righteous on me or anyone else,” I say before turning toward my car, their steps falling into line with me.
We’re a mess, a band of friends who hurt others before they can hurt us, or just because we’re already bleeding inside.
Whatever the reason, we all need some serious fucking therapy before we end up wrecking everyone who crosses our paths.
I don’t deserve Hayvin.
I never did.
But I will, and I’ll make sure she knows every single day how much I love her, appreciate her, and truly see her.
I just need to get her to let me first.