Chapter 17 A Dream Come True
A Dream Come True
Hayvin
I fling the well-known envelope onto the counter and dig through the rest of the mail. Junk, bills, even more junk. I sort, tear open, scrawl reminders on the calendar, and launch the useless flyers into the trash.
I stare down the invitation, weighing whether to break its seal. Of course I’ll go to the award show. After the band bought my song, skipping would be unthinkably rude.
Still, the thought of going alone aches. It’s hard to do this without the man I once loved.
Love?
Loved?
Damn. I can’t decide if love belongs in the past or present tense.
My feelings didn’t vanish after his betrayal, no matter how much I wished they would.
Some people can just walk away, but I’m not built like that.
I fight until there’s nothing left in me.
Maybe I’m wired differently, because what stings me barely grazes others, and what rattles them barely touches me.
Alek’s friendship with Jerica has always been a thorn between us, even though they never crossed that line. Charlie, on the other hand, never bothered me. Not after the first shock wore off.
People have pasts. Feelings change, attraction fades, friendships remain, and life moves on. I’ve never found anything strange about that.
Everleigh once asked if I was truly okay with Alek’s friendship with Charlie. The question blindsided me because I couldn’t fathom why she’d even wonder.
“I know you said you were okay with it, Vinnie, but I need to know if you really are or if you’re just saying that because you care so much about Alek and think this is the only way you get him.”
Even though she meant well, her words stung and irritated me. I paused, searching for the right way to make her see my side.
“Why wouldn’t I be, Ever?”
“Um…because he had a friends-with-benefits thing going with her.”
“Okay, and? Ever, that was before me and him. He has a past. So do I. Shoot, I still talk to your brother, and we were actually serious about each other for a long time. Everyone has a past, but who am I to hold it against him? It wouldn’t be fair.
Charlie doesn’t make me uncomfortable. She doesn’t react to Alek with anything other than friendly affection, nor does he.
If he hadn’t told me about their history, I’d have never known it because there is no sign of anything more between them.
Charlie is crazy about Keaton. Alek and Charlie never cross lines, hang out without me or Keaton, or talk on the phone without telling either of us.
When it comes to that friendship, Alek and Charlie always make sure Keaton and me come first. They’ve never once disrespected us with their friendship, and I have this gut feeling they never will.
I have issues with his friendship with Jerica. The one he hasn’t slept with.”
“They fucked, Hayvin.”
“I know that, Everleigh. What’s your point?”
“You don’t believe they ever think about it?”
“You’ve been around them enough. What do you think?”
By then, my patience was fraying. She was really getting under my skin. My question made her stop and think about all the times we’d hung out with Charlie and Keaton. Her answer was exactly what I’d known from the start, the first time I saw Alek and Charlie together.
“I don’t think they do.”
She answered, albeit reluctantly, but I knew I’d made my point. Everleigh never mentioned it again, trusting I’d speak up if anything ever bothered me.
“Just because someone slept with another person doesn’t mean there was anything more to it than that, Ever. You know that more than anyone. I don’t think about the time I spent with Titan—not anymore. Those feelings faded a long time ago. Why can’t it be the same for Charlie and Alek?”
That was the end of it. I’ll never get why people expect us all to react the same way, or why they assume what unsettles them must unsettle everyone.
If it were our purpose to all be the same, then we would be.
With a sigh, I let the thoughts drift from my mind and pull the envelope towards me.
I slide a nail beneath the wax seal, lift the flap, and draw out the thick, embossed cream card inside.
Dear Ms. Hayvin Dickinson,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been nominated as Songwriter of the Year for your work on Not Your Just Because.
I blink at the words, then read them again, just to be sure, before tossing the card back onto the counter.
My fingers curl around the counter’s edge as I stare, unmoving.
The longer I watch, as if the words will disappear, the more excitement fills me.
Tears prick my eyes, and a squeal bursts out. I do a quick, clumsy dance before snatching up the invitation again, letting my eyes drink in the words one more time.
Songwriter of the Year.
Holy shit.
I’ve won awards for my songs before, but Songwriter of the Year? That’s the dream I’ve carried forever. What lyricist wouldn’t crave that honor?
My smile falters as I realize this will be another victory I celebrate without Alek by my side.
A sharp sting at my nose warns of tears, so I grit my teeth and force them down.
No way am I letting him steal my joy at this. It’s too huge.
Needing to share this with someone who will understand my excitement, I put in a call to Everleigh and Titan. I conference them both in so I can tell them at the same time.
My nails tap a nervous rhythm on the countertop as I wait for them to pick up.
“Love bug? All good?” Titan answers.
“Yes,” I squeal.
His deep laugh is husky enough to have me tilting my head in consideration. It’s warm and familiar.
You could always take him with you.
A sly, petty corner of my mind teases me with an idea that’s almost too tempting to ignore.
The fact that Alek isn’t here to celebrate this huge milestone with me—because he couldn’t let her go—fills me with a white-hot anger.
Since our breakup, I’ve cycled through nearly every emotion. Except this one.
It was inevitable, just another step on the road to healing.
And boy, am I furious with him.
So unbelievably angry.
Confrontation isn’t my style. I rarely see the point in it. My time is better spent elsewhere than on people or problems that don’t deserve it.
Alek has always been different.
“Earth to Vinnie,” Everleigh calls, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Sorry. Lost to my thoughts.”
“Want to tell us what’s going on, love bug?” Titan asks.
“Guess what?”
“Babe,” Ever says in exasperation.
“Okay. Okay. I got nominated for Songwriter of the Year,” I screech.
For a moment, the line is silent, then they erupt in whoops of joy. They trip over each other to congratulate me, and I can’t help but laugh at their playful sibling banter.
This is the kind of happiness I always longed to share with Alek throughout my career.
“Are you all coming with me?” I ask.
“You asking us to be your dates for this huge moment in your life, Vin?” Titan inquires.
I don’t even give myself time to think about it. “Of course I am. I’ll pay for the dress and tux.”
“You’re the belle of the ball, love bug. No way in hell I’m letting you pay for our shit. That’s not how this works,” Titan says.
“When is the award ceremony?” Everleigh asks.
“Friday. So, we have three days to get everything done. Shoot. I’m sorry, Tan. I didn’t even ask if you’d be here. I don’t know when you have to report back.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be there,” Titan replies, and something in his tone tells me something is going on with him that I’m missing.
Lately, I’ve been so tangled up in my drama with Alek that I’ve been a lousy friend to both of them. I have no clue what’s going on in Everleigh’s world. Last I heard, she was dating a biker named Grimm from afar, but he’s vanished from her updates.
I remind myself to dig a little deeper with her when we hit the shops.
Everleigh means too much to let my self-absorption push her to the sidelines.
“Shopping date tomorrow?” Ever questions.
“Sounds good. Call me when you’re ready?”
“You got it,” she replies, sounding distracted.
“I’ll head into town and get my tux,” Titan adds.
“Thank you both. Seriously, this is huge, and I’m glad I get to share it with you.”
“I'm super proud of you, babe,” Everleigh says. You deserve to be recognized for your exceptional talent.”
“I’ve always been proud as hell of you. You put so much of yourself into your lyrics that people go into a frenzy to buy them from you.
You’ve always had trouble seeing how special you are.
It didn’t help that you had your two serious relationships questioning yourself.
Lovebug, it’s time to see your worth. It’s time for you to see that it’s always been us who were never worthy of you.
Fucking songwriter of the year, Hayvin Marie.
Own the hell out of that shit, babe,” Titan comments.
His words hit me first in the heart, then burn their way down to my soul.
I’ve always known my worth, but Titan is right, and I let it take a hit by both of them.
No one should get to chip away at my worth. That power belongs to me alone. I let love cloud my vision, let them shape how I felt about myself. With Titan, I can forgive it. We were just kids. With Alek, I have no excuse except that I loved him too much, too fiercely, too deeply.
I let things slide that I never should have.
At least when it came to his friendship with Jerica.
“I hear you, Tan. I also appreciate you. One day, you’re gonna make some woman really freaking happy. I just know it.”
“Ouch. Kick me in the nuts, why don’t you?” Titan grumbles.
I laugh as he intended. “Hush.”
“Right. Gonna jump off here,” he says. “See you on Friday. I’ll pick you up in a limo.”
“What?” I exclaim. “No.”
“Quiet. Friday is your night, and you’re gonna get queen treatment,” Everleigh declares.
“Fine,” I grumble.
“Good girl,” Titan says.
His words send a shiver racing up my spine.
Nope. Not letting that shiver take over. Abort mission.
It’s just the words and the way they remind me of Alek. It’s his favorite thing to say anytime I did something that pleased him.
Everleigh snickers, instantly clocking where my mind wandered. She’s seen firsthand what those magic words from Alek’s venomous mouth used to do to me.
Fucking brat.
“Shut up,” I grouse.
“What’d I miss?” Titan asks.
“Nothing,” I say quickly, causing Everleigh to laugh harder. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, Ever, and you on Friday, Titan.”
“I’ll be the handsome devil in a suit,” he quips.
“Little sure of yourself there,” I laugh.
“I got a mirror, love bug.”
I roll my eyes. “Bye.”
How I ever managed to squeeze into a relationship with that man and his giant ego, I’ll never understand.