Chapter 20 He Can Still Surprise Me
He Can Still Surprise Me
Hayvin
The after-party was absolutely electric, and my body still buzzed from the whirlwind of drinks and wild dancing with Titan, Everleigh, and Blue.
It was the most fun I’ve had in ages. Aside from that fleeting second when I thought I spotted Alek in the awards show crowd, he barely flickered across my thoughts.
Now that I’m finally home, all I want is to slip inside and melt into my bed.
As I fumble with my keys, a burst of color snags my attention, pulling my gaze to the side.
A bouquet sits on the table beside my porch swing, with a white card leaning against the vase.
Titan lingers by the limo, making sure I’m safe, but I wave him away and drift toward the beautiful flowers.
My fingers tremble as I reach for the vase and the card propped against it.
“Night,” I call out distractedly, heading inside with my gift.
I can’t tear my eyes from the flowers. Only one person would send these, but why tonight, of all nights?
I set them on the counter and instinctively step back, half-expecting them to leap out and sting me.
And maybe, in their own way, they could.
My stomach churns with the certainty that this bouquet and its card are about to unravel truths I thought I knew.
I chew on my thumb, pacing in front of the flowers and card, unable to look away for even a second.
I’m being ridiculous. They’re just items. They can’t physically harm me.
I halt in front of them, gripping the counter’s edge, trying to summon the courage to open the envelope. It feels just like when I stared down the award show invitations. One promising something good, this one… still a mystery.
My mind shuffles through memories of Alek bringing me flowers over the years. Not just for anniversaries or birthdays, but every time I finished a song or had an awards ceremony, he’d show up with my favorite blooms.
Except for the last two songs.
Wait…
I remember getting a bouquet after Paradox of You first played Not Your Just Because on the radio.
But… how did he know?
Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.
I take a deep breath and reach for the card.
There’s only one way to get answers, and it isn’t by running away.
I slip my finger beneath the seal and ease the card free.
Alek has some of the nicest masculine handwriting I’ve ever seen.
Congratulations, baby girl.
Songwriter and Song of the Year!
Fucking proud of you, beautiful girl. I always am.
I love you, Hayvin
Always yours,
Alek
There’s no use fighting the tears that spill over. Bottling them up would only let the feelings swell until they burst.
I try to untangle the emotions behind the tears streaking down my face, but they blur together, impossible to separate.
Happy, sad, angry, confused—they all swirl together, turning my heart into a storm.
I miss him far more than I ever let myself admit.
But in the end, it shouldn’t matter. I deserve someone who loves me without making me feel like I’m always competing.
Whether it’s intentional or not.
He says he loves me, but how am I supposed to let myself believe it?
My mind replays our meeting outside the restaurant, looping over his words and the promise he made that day.
Alek wants a chance to prove I’ve always been the one, but do I have the strength to risk it all again?
Do I take the gamble?
Or do I play it safe?
Crap. I have no idea what the right move is.
I love him. That’s never been the question, and that love isn’t going away.
There’s been a lot of hurt, though. He’s made some changes, but I honestly believe he’s got so much more to do before I can even think of forgiving him, let alone us taking another shot at a relationship I’ve considered doomed.
But for him to prove I’m the one he’s always wanted, I’d have to let him close enough to try making it right.
The walls around my heart soften, and before I know it, my phone is in my hand and his number is unblocked.
I bite the inside of my cheek, finger hovering over the message icon beneath his name.
Before I can second-guess myself, I type a quick message and hit send.
ME
Thank you for the flowers. They’re lovely.
As soon as it says sent, panic flares and I scramble to block him again, but his reply lands before I can.
A tiny squeak slips out and I fling my phone onto the counter.
“Stop being ridiculous,” I mutter. “It’s just a message, for crying out loud.”
I freeze, hand hovering over my phone, then grumble and snatch it up, opening our messages.
Alek
Shit, baby girl. It’s good to see your name pop
How are you feeling?
Really am fucking proud of you. Always have been, and I’m sorry I never told you that enough.
“Great way to show it,” I mutter, backing out of the thread without replying.
As much as I want to run to Everleigh, I can’t pile more on her with everything she’s dealing with and Grimm. Her brother will give it to me straight, just like she would, and maybe a guy’s perspective is what I need.
“Everything good, Vin?” Titan answers.
“Alek sent me flowers. His card congratulated me on the awards. I was dumb and unblocked him to say thanks, but before I could block him again, he messaged. Now I’m all mixed up,” I blurt.
Titan exhales slowly. “Wow. That’s a lot to unpack in a few seconds.”
I wince, suddenly worried I’m dumping on the wrong person. “Crap. Sorry, Tan. I’d usually go to Ever, but she’s got enough on her plate.”
“No,” Titan chuckles. “It’s okay. It’s just weird because I thought I’d feel…jealous or some shit, but surprisingly, I don’t feel anything like that. Just concern for you.”
“We were just kids, Tan. We’ve grown up and changed. We loved each other back then, but not anymore. Not like that. And that’s okay.”
“Yeah. Good to know I can finally put you in the past in that aspect and leave you there.”
“Ohhh. Fancy someone, do you?” I tease.
“We’re not talking about me,” he says, making me laugh at his dodge. “How did his card make you feel?”
I put my phone on speaker and lift one foot to unbuckle the heel, then move to the other. Then, I toss them carelessly in the corner of the kitchen as I think over his question.
“I’m mostly confused, but also angry. He’s always known about my career. He sent flowers every time I won, got nominated, or finished a song. I never noticed until now. Why pretend not to care if he did? He says he’s proud, but how true is that if he never showed it?”
“I don’t know, Vinnie, but maybe it’s time to talk because you’re starting to question things you thought you knew.
Things he intentionally let you believe.
Alek is the only one who’s ever going to be able to give you the answers you’re seeking.
So, I’m going to ask you. What do you want, Hayvin?
He’s already made his move at the restaurant. Now, it’s up to you.”
“What if his answers cause more pain?”
“What if they don’t? You can’t play the what-if game, Hayvin, because there’s always going to be another what-if behind the one you ask.”
“So, I just have to jump and trust that he’ll catch me? He dropped me the last time, Titan.”
“I know, love bug. Fuck, I hate the way you hurt. As someone who knows what it’s like to lose you, he’s realizing how much he fucked up.
We men, we’re not always the smartest or the quickest bunch, but most of us try to make amends when we fuck up.
He’s not being pushy, and he’s giving you space to think about what you want.
You don’t have to jump, Hayvin, but I truly believe you’ll be safe sticking a toe in to get some answers. ”
His words echo in my mind long after we hang up, as I slip out of my dress and into pajamas.
I do want answers, and there’s only one person who can give them to me.
It’s time to make him answer.
He probably never expected I’d do it this late at night—or early morning, depending on how you see it.
Too bad, so sad for him.