Chapter fourteen
Present Day
The next morning I woke to Theo, who had his camera - and he was propped up on the bed taking pictures of me.
“Stalker.” I yawned sleepily.
“You look beautiful.” He whispered. “I needed to capture the moment.”
He clicked the camera again and then placed it on the nightstand before leaning across the bed to kiss me.
“My sister messaged.” He said pulling me in for a hug. “She wants to go out for dinner tonight and a couple of drinks.”
“Okay.” I stretched.
“Until then, I fully intend on making the most of our day together.”
“Oh how so?”
Theo kissed me again, and it deepened until we were tangled up in the blankets again, breathing heavily - exhausted physically, but sexually on fire.
Every time it was getting harder to admit how much this was going to hurt when it inevitably ended.
We’d not labeled this, hell we’d not even talked about what would happen at the end of the week.
I was in over my head, but still unable to stop.
“You’re overthinking.” Theo murmured, his head on my bare chest. “I can feel you tensing.”
I tried to relax but I wasn’t sure how successful I was.
I should have asked the questions—what happens after the wedding, do you want more than this, will you go back to Milan and forget about me—but I wasn’t ready for the answers.
Because if this was all he wanted, if I was just a convenient fling, I wasn’t sure I could survive hearing him say it out loud.
“Can I ask something?”
“Yes.”
“Prom night, when you took me home. Were you going to kiss me?”
Theo tensed, and I wondered if he was going to try and let me down easy. Instead he looked up at me and smiled.
“Yes.”
Shit, I hadn’t expected that. God I wished he had. My entire high school experience might have been different.
“Why?”
He propped himself up so that he was lying on me, but also facing me and licked his lips. “Because I wanted to.”
I closed my eyes, mostly to stop Theo from seeing the emotion in them.
I didn’t want him to see that I was already in so deep that the thought of the week ending was giving me anxiety.
Theo moved up the bed and kissed me before jumping out from under the covers.
He pulled on his boxers and walked over to the phone.
“I’m starving, let’s get breakfast.”
We spent the rest of the day eating pancakes in bed, watching old movies that were in other languages - making up new words for what was happening.
Around three, Theo fell asleep with his head in my lap, and I ran my fingers through his hair, watching his chest rise and fall.
This felt dangerously domestic. Like something I could get used to.
Like something I’d mourn when it was gone.
When it was close to 6pm we both got changed and then left for the restaurant.
Theo placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked into the restaurant. It was such an innocent touch, but it did something to me that melted my insides. Jasper and Sloane were already seated and as we walked across the floor toward them her eyes narrowed and her head tilted.
Theo pulled out my chair for me and I sat down. When the server came over Sloane ordered a round of champagne. As a repeat of the night before the four of us read through the menus and Theo leaned across and whispered in my ear.
“Please don’t get rabbit food.”
I bit my lip and replied. “I wonder if they do the condiment sandwich.”
That earned a loud laugh from Theo who straightened himself up and looked between me and Sloane before closing his menu.
“What are you having, Gin?” he asked, his foot hooking around my ankle under the table.
I opened my mouth to say “whatever you’re having” but caught myself. I looked at the menu properly.
“The steak. Medium rare. With the chips and onion jam.”
He smiled at me like I’d just won something. “Good choice.”
We all went with variations of steak and chips in the end.
Dinner was delicious—the steak perfectly cooked, and Theo kept stealing fries from my plate even though he had his own.
Under the table, his foot stayed hooked around my ankle, and I realized this felt dangerously close to a double date.
Like we were a normal couple doing normal couple things.
As soon as we’d finished eating though, Sloane stood up and walked around the table grabbing my hand almost violently. “Uh, we need to powder our noses.”
I rolled my eyes. God she was as subtle as a freight train.
She pulled me into the bathroom and then leaned against the sink.
“What’s going on with my brother?” Sloane said with a surprisingly concerned face.
“Nothing.” I lied, which was obvious because I was avoiding all eye contact with Sloane.
“Did you sleep together?”
Aha, this was an easy one to answer.
“We’re sharing a bed, so uh yes.”
She ran a hand over her face and rolled her eyes. Exasperated with me purposely avoiding her questions.
“No. Did you…. Ugh… have sex?”
Fuck - last thing I needed was Sloane making this a big thing.
“No.” my voice trailed off at the end.
“You’re a terrible liar. I’m more shocked you’re being so weird about it.”
“It’s just casual.”
“You don’t do casual. Especially not when it comes to Theo.”
I sighed. “It’s not anything. He has his job flying around the world photographing beautiful women. I have my job back home.”
“If you say so. You two are going to admit you love each other, get married and have little Thogen babies.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but my heart did a summersault at the thought.
“I’m going back to the table now.” I replied dryly.
Sloane giggled and did a little victory dance for her plan working and then we walked out of the bathroom and back to the table. She didn’t say anything to Theo, which I was more than thankful for.
We went next door to the bar afterward to have a few drinks and that’s when I saw him. Christopher. He hadn’t changed much, aside from the slightly longer brown hair and the untrimmed goatee.
Theo must have recognized him too because he instinctively put his arm around my waist.
We ordered mojitos and then sat down… and for a moment I thought I’d get away with not speaking to Christopher. Except when Sloane and I got up to order another drink he walked over and slung his arm over my shoulder.
“Jesus, Imogen Grey?”
He looked me up and down and licked his lips, like I was a meal. It made me feel ill in a way I’d never actually felt.
“Christopher.” I said with a curt smile. “Nice to see you again.”
It wasn’t nice to see him, but it felt like what I should say. The barman put the next round of drinks on the bar and I shrugged Christopher’s arm off my shoulder as I picked them up.
“Let me buy your next drink.” He called out as Sloane and I walked away.
Part of me wanted to just say yes to avoid making a scene. That’s what I normally would’ve done—smiled, accepted the drink, suffered through small talk to be polite. But I was learning I didn’t owe men my comfort at the expense of my own.
“Oh that’s alright, I’m good thank you.” I replied as we walked back to the table.
Theo’s eyes were dark when we sat back down. His jaw was tight and any semblance of a smile was gone.
“You okay?” I asked quietly.
“That’s Christopher?” His voice was low, controlled. Dangerous.
“Yeah.”
“The one from prom.”
“The one from prom,” I confirmed.
He drained his mojito in one gulp. “I need some air.”
He wasn’t back five minutes later when Jasper and Sloane were talking in hushed whispers, so I ended up excusing myself for the bathroom.
I washed my hands and then walked back out into the short hallway that led to the bathrooms. Christopher was at the end. He looked at me with leering eyes and then stepped toward me.
Senior Year - 2015 (Before Prom)
“Come on, Imogen. Everyone’s doing it.”
Christopher and I had been dating for three weeks. We were in his car after school, and his hand kept creeping up my thigh no matter how many times I moved it away.
“I’m not everyone.”
“Don’t you want to?” He was kissing my neck now, his hand back on my leg.
“Christopher—”
“I mean, I thought you liked me.” He pulled back, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes. “Don’t you like me?”
I did like him. Or I thought I did. He was popular, cute, and a basketball player. He’d asked me out in front of everyone at a party. That meant something, right?
“I do, but—”
“Then what’s the problem?” His hand was higher now.
I grabbed his wrist. “Not yet. I’m not ready.”
His jaw tightened. He pulled his hand away and sat back in his seat, staring straight ahead.
“Fine. Whatever.”
The silence was worse than the pressure. I felt guilty, like I’d done something wrong by saying no. Like I was being unfair to him.
“Christopher—”
“It’s fine, Imogen. I’m just... I’m not used to girls who make me wait this long.”
Other girls don’t make you wait. That’s what he meant. Other girls were better than me. Easier.
Maybe if I’d just said yes, he wouldn’t look at me like I was disappointing him.
Looking back, I should’ve known then. A guy who made you feel bad for having boundaries wasn’t worth keeping. But I was seventeen and desperate to be chosen, so I convinced myself it was normal. That all relationships had this kind of pressure.
It wasn’t until prom night, when he showed up drunk and treated me like an obligation, that I realized: he never liked me. He just liked the idea of me being grateful enough to say yes. In the end I’d given in and it had been one of my only regrets.
“They say you never forget your first.” Christopher leered, stepping closer. “I bet you still think about me, huh? I was good, wasn’t I?”
I shook my head, because the truth was if I ever thought about it, I was thinking about how mediocre it had been. How it had set me up to think sex was something to endure rather than enjoy.
Of course, Christopher’s ego didn’t like my answer. His face contorted and he advanced on me quicker, closing the distance between us. His hands grasped at my hips—too tight, too familiar, too much like that night in his car—and I screamed at him to get the fuck off me.
It was like Theo was attuned to my voice because a second later he was there, pulling Christopher off me. He had him on the ground, his fist raised high - ready to pummel the shit out of him.
I placed my hand on his back and whispered into his ear.
“He’s not worth it.”
“I told you to stay the fuck away from Imogen.” Theo’s voice was barely controlled rage. He shoved Christopher back down against the floor. “Fucking listen.”
We left not long after. I didn’t want to be there anymore, and once Sloane had heard what had happened she understood.
Once we were back in the room, I don’t know what happened, or why, but I just burst into tears. Not delicate crying—ugly, gulping sobs that shook my whole body.
I wasn’t even sure what I was crying about.
Christopher grabbing me? All the years of men like him who thought my body was theirs for the taking?
Or maybe it was Theo, the way he’d immediately known something was wrong, the way he’d protected me without hesitation, the way he was holding me now like I was something precious.
Theo pulled me tighter against his chest and whispered words I couldn’t quite hear—something about being safe, about him having me, about Christopher never touching me again. It healed something inside me, something I didn’t even know was broken.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured into my hair. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
And for the first time in years, I actually believed it.