6. Benji #3
Sam blinked. A smile tugged at his lips as he took the sandwich, our fingers brushing for half a second. A shiver ran down my spine. Feeling his touch made it all real. Sam wasn’t just some rumor—he was a real person. He was here, in front of me. He had a body, a soul, and a heart.
“Thank you,” Sam said softly. “I feel like I might actually faint if I don’t eat anything.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
I made the mistake of looking at his face. He smiled, tired but with big eyes as if he were a puppy that didn’t mind being beaten as long as it got a scrap of acknowledgment. It felt as if someone had rammed a knife into my heart. And that someone was me.
My gaze shifted from Sam to Grace. “I think he shouldn’t be working today.”
“I agree.” She folded her arms. “But if he doesn’t work, he won’t get paid.” Her tone wasn’t harsh, but the words pushed the metaphorical knife deeper in all the same.
“What if I cover his quota? While he rests in Gordy’s room? Would that keep this under wraps?”
“What are you guys talking about?” Sam asked.
I turned to him. “If you want to keep this job, no one can ever know.”
“Same goes for you,” Grace added.
“It does,” I reluctantly agreed.
“I can work,” Sam protested, taking a step toward me. “I’ve had sleepless nights before?—”
“This is not up for debate,” I said. “You are going to eat the sandwich, get some sleep while I cover your shift. And once you’re rested, I’ll explain to you how dangerous what you did was—and thank you properly for it.”
Sam’s view wandered between Grace and me, his head slowly tipping back, but before he could protest, Grace stood up.
“Come on, Sam. I’ll show you to Gordy’s man cave.
” Her voice left no room for argument. He followed her without a word, and as Grace held the door open for him to enter, he peeked back at me.
A tired, grateful smile pulled at his lips.
I smiled back. It was the right thing to do, even if my stomach churned.
As soon as I was alone, I couldn’t breathe.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to beat myself up.
But all I could do was stand there and accept that it was my responsibility now to repay Sam.
I still didn’t know how because covering his work for the day was only to save my own ass.
That wouldn’t be enough. But I guess I had to figure the rest out along the way.
When I walked into the barn, Gordy was typing at the standing desk, his lips pressed together like he was trying to hide a smile. With still twenty minutes to go until the workday started, no one was around—a little miracle given our circumstances.
“How do you feel?” Gordy asked, nodding toward the backyard to make it clear that he’d overheard everything.
I sighed, letting my head flop back to stare at the ceiling. A wooden beam towered over me, holding up the roof that felt like it would collapse onto me any second now.
“I feel like shit.”
“Because Grace found out?”
“Because this was all a mistake.”
“Bro.” Gordy stopped typing. His head turned, scanning every corner of the room as he leaned in, lowering his voice. “What the fuck happened? Where is the ‘ I hate Sam, I want to prank him, let’s celebrate that it worked’ attitude? That's gotta be somewhere in there.”
He jabbed both his index fingers into my chest, his shoulders bobbing forward and back, his grin proving how oblivious he was that we’d completely overstepped. I stared at his fingers until the smile drained from his face and he stopped.
“Come on, are you for real?”
“I am.” I lowered my voice—not because anyone could hear, but because saying it out loud was too hard. “This was wrong. I misjudged Sam.”
“Is this because Grace yelled at you? Because she yelled at me, too, but don’t worry about her. She won’t blab to Dad. I made sure of that.”
“It’s not because of Grace,” I said, stuffing my hands deep inside my pockets.
“It’s because Sam is not a bad guy. He’s not rich.
He doesn’t look down on us. He’s just trying his best. Yeah, maybe he’s a little gullible, but he spent the whole fucking night helping me .
I’m not going to destroy the life of someone who doesn’t deserve it. ”
“Did you fall on your head this morning?” Gordy blinked, his head snapping back in a double-take.
“I don’t care if you don’t get it. But you can’t deny that spending the entire night was actually kind of a grand gesture. I doubt that if this had happened for real, you would’ve done something like that for me.”
Gordy took a step back, clicking his tongue. “What are you implying? That you like Sam more than me now?”
“Well, would you have done it?”
“Not for a necklace.” His features tightened. “But you know I’m there for you when it actually matters. Just like with this prank, for example?”
“That’s....” I raised my voice, ready to shoot back, to prove that I was innocent, to scream at him for being so blunt, but... my shoulders caved, the weight of that truth dragging me down. “You’re right. I’m sorry... fuck ...”
I couldn’t pin this on Gordy. There was no one to blame but myself.
“You really must’ve fallen onto your head.” Gordy pressed his lips together, but after a second, his face softened. “But it’s okay.”
He stepped forward and pulled me into a short bro-hug that—I hate to admit it—was exactly what I needed.
“So we don’t hate Sam anymore, is what you’re saying?” Gordy backed out of the hug, raising his eyebrows so high they nearly hit the ceiling.
“You can hate him as much as you want. But I just feel bad.”
“Okay, but now what? It’s not like we can go back in time.”
“No. I know. Just… Ugh , I don’t know.” I let myself fall onto the bench beside the standing desk, burying my head in my hands. “I gave him my lunch and promised to fulfill both our quotas today, so your Dad doesn’t notice.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard. He’s slow as fuck.”
“Still. I doubt that’s enough.”
“Man, you don’t have to cut off your leg for him.” Gordy sighed. “It was just a prank.”
Shaking his head, he walked back to the laptop, his hands clenching briefly as they hovered over the keyboard. He shifted his weight, staring at the screen with empty eyes, his brows twitching together, before he started typing. The clack of keys filled the room with an uneven, nervous rhythm.
I leaned back, staring at the beam above me again. If it would only break and crush me right here...
“I feel like I’ve become like the people I hate,” I said, explaining it more to myself than Gordy. “Does that make sense? I judged this guy before I knew him.”
“Now you’re exaggerating.” Gordy’s voice was flatter than I wished. “I don’t see why this is such a big deal all of a sudden. It’s not like he died, bro.”
“You don’t get it.”
“Yeah. Maybe I don’t,” he shot back.
I opened my mouth, wanting to say something, to name the elephant in the room, but the barn door swung open.
A handful of coworkers walked in, chatting, laughing, and greeting each other for a new day of work.
I sat up straighter, like I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t, tugged at my shirt to smooth out the wrinkles, and glanced at Gordy.
His eyes twitched briefly toward me, but then stayed fixed on the screen, as if he was actively trying to ignore me. His fingers flew over the keyboard, and after half a minute, he turned toward the double door and walked away without a word.
I watched him disappear out into the yard, unable to move. The chatter and laughter of my coworkers closed in like a wall, their backs turned toward me as if I didn’t exist.
And I just sat there, letting myself get swallowed by the noise.