11. Samuel #2
I looked down the shore. The water was so clear I could see straight to the bottom. Two crappies twirled around each other, racing toward a little nook to my right that offered easy access for anyone wanting to slip into the lake.
“Have you ever gone for a swim?” I asked.
“I’m not that stupid,” Benji replied, side-eyeing me with his signature knit-brow expression. “This is the town's drinking water. I’m not plunging my dirty body into the water my mom uses to cook dinner. So you better be careful not to fall in.”
He took a step to the left, lowered himself to the ground, and settled with his back against the tree, looking at the lake in a way that left it unclear whether his main focus was the scenery or me.
I followed his lead, crouching down and landing on my ass. The stone against my bare legs was surprisingly cold. A breeze equally chilly (at least compared to the oppressive, stagnant heat on the field) swept through my hair and sent a shiver across my skin.
The natural barrier of trees around the lake must have created a microclimate, cooler than the surrounding farmland, which would also explain why the spot used to be so popular.
I bent my legs, pulling them in so my skin didn’t touch the stone, and wrapped my arms around them. For now, I was fine, but if I wasn’t careful, the cold would get to me, and I definitely didn’t want to come off as a wimp.
Benji crossed his legs and leaned back against the bark. He blinked his right eye shut for a moment, a smile tugging at his lips, which I returned without thinking.
But then we fell silent again.
For a full minute, we sat there, staring at each other, not knowing again what to talk about—just like earlier, except now a frog croaked somewhere nearby, mocking us to death.
My gaze circled the entire lake four times before Benji cleared his throat.
Our eyes met.
For another ten seconds, nothing happened—until he tipped his head back against the tree, pinning me with a look.
“Sam,” he said, “do you actually know how to shoot a gun?”
His question came out of the blue, but at least it was something to talk about.
“Nothing to be proud of, is it?” I replied.
“Are you kidding me? It so doesn’t fit your type, I love it.” He nodded toward me. “Who taught you how to shoot?”
“My Dad.”
“And?” Benji leaned in, his head edging forward even more. “Come on, man, tell me the whole story.”
“It’s not that interesting,” I chuckled.
“Yeah, right. It’s just literally the most interesting thing I’ve heard all year.”
“Okay. Fine.” I shook my head. I shouldn’t have brought it up earlier if I didn’t want to share.
“Dad took me to the station a couple of years ago, after they moved to the new building on Bayard Avenue, and when he showed me around, we passed the training range and... let’s say things escalated quickly. ”
“Station?” Benji’s head snapped up. He sat straighter, crossing his legs.
“Your Dad’s a cop?” His eyes got wide. “Oh my god. Don’t tell me Officer Cauley is your Dad?
” My heart skipped a beat, but before I could respond, Benji burst out laughing.
“That’s why I saw that police car at the farm on Monday! He drove you!”
I nodded, forcing a smile I knew wasn’t convincing. “Surprise.”
“Wow. Now everything makes sense.” He shook his head, still grinning way too wide for a revelation that shouldn’t have made him that happy. “Does he know you’re hanging out with me?”
“Yeah?”
“So...” His grin widened. “...you got warned and accepted my invitation anyway? Beyond better judgment?”
He’d nailed it. Of course, my parents had something to say. I usually had dinner with them on weekends, and when I told them why I had to take a raincheck today, the little lecture they gave me was only bearable because it was over the phone. Not that their warnings would’ve changed my mind.
“I think my judgment about you is more accurate than his,” I said.
Benji grinned like he’d won the lottery. “Do you?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I don’t think you are the bad guy people make you out to be.”
His grin faded a little. “Strong words.”
“Well, are you?”
“I mean...” His face grew serious for a moment, as if a thought had passed through his mind that he couldn’t say out loud. “I’d bet money I’ve been in a police car more often than you.”
“Impossible. Unless your dad also drove you to school in a police car every day throughout your entire academic career.”
“He did, in fact, not.” He shook his head, laughing again. “This is wild.” He fixed his eyes on me, his gaze now filled with an almost loving warmth. “Thanks for forming your own opinion.”
Maybe the two of us weren’t as different as it had seemed. Both of us were stuck living with the stories people told about us. The stories were different, sure, but the ache to prove things weren’t as they seemed must’ve felt the same for him as it did for me.
“I could say the same,” I replied, returning his smile. “The stuff people say about me isn’t a secret either. And you still invited me over.”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Most people don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Despite how warm our words were, they didn't help much against the cool air around us. The last bit of sunlight vanished behind the trees, the sky fading from gold to dusky blue that would soon go black. Without the sun, the cold crept easily through the fabric of my shorts and into my bones. I pulled my legs in tighter, rubbing my palms over my arms, but it didn’t stop the goosebumps from spreading or the quiet tremor in my knees.
“Are you okay?” Benji eyed me from head to toe.
“Yeah. Just a little cold.”
“Cold?”
“M-hm.”
“Is it the stone, or...?”
“Yeah, the stone.”
“Do you wanna head back?”
I was such a wimp. He’d brought me to the most beautiful place in Red Creek, and here I was, ready to leave after barely twenty minutes, just because I was freezing my ass off in the middle of summer.
“Not really, no,” I replied to his question.
Benji let out a slow breath, his eyes scanning the ground until he clicked his tongue like an idea had struck.
“If you don’t want to leave...” He sat up and stretched out his legs, pointing to the space that opened up between them. “I can keep you warm.”
I chuckled at his joke, but when he didn’t join in, I choked on it. “Wait, are you serious?”
“Sure? I’ve done it with Gordy before, too.”
The image of them sitting on this very stone, Benji holding Gordy in his arms, flashed through my mind, but didn’t get much time to stick around.
“It’s better than getting sick,” Benji added, turning his head to hide the faint flush rising on his cheeks.
He couldn’t be serious. No way. Zero chance.
“Wouldn’t this be weird for you?” I asked, now shivering both from the cold and the idea of lying in his arms. My gaze slid down to his jeans, wrinkled around his knees, to his worn-out black sneakers that were as dusty as mine, over his white socks that had bunched low enough to show a peek of ankle, and then back up to the space between his legs where he had offered me to sit—my eyes landing right on his bulge.
“Why would it be?” he asked, his voice low and steady.
Because he knew I was gay. Because no straight guy should offer something like this. Not in Red Creek, at least.
I understood that he was comfortable around me, but this ?
Almost every other guy I’d met in my life would’ve jumped away just at the thought of shaking my hand.
And he was offering to hold me? As in wrapping his arms around me?
As in pressing our bodies against each other to keep me warm? How could he propose that so easily?
Because it meant nothing, it shot through my head.
That had to be it. This was just so we could stay longer. If he’d done this with Gordy, then maybe it was a straight-guy thing I’d never gotten to experience, something normal I’d been made to believe wasn’t.
“Look, if I’d brought a sweater, I’d offer that,” Benji said, clearly catching on to my hesitation. “But I didn’t, so this is the only way I can help if you want to stay. If it’s too weird for you, I’d rather head back. I don’t want to be the reason you get sick.”
The one thing that wasn’t an option was going back. We’d only just reached a point where we could talk without it feeling forced, and I wasn’t about to blow the only chance of making a friend in this stupid town over a few goosebumps.
“I guess... this would work,” I finally said.
“Of course,” Benji replied, lifting his arms.
Since dragging it out would only make it weirder, I pushed myself to my knees and crawled toward him. Though the closer I got, the slower I moved. Blood rushed to my head. My skin tingled.
I’d thought about being held by another guy so often.
Every night, to be honest. The one memory I had of something similar was so faded it barely felt real anymore, like a scene from another life in which I had been allowed to have fun once, only so I would crave something that almost seemed impossible to ever have again.
I didn’t come here with any intention in that direction, not at all, but now.
.. it took everything in me not to read too much into this.
When I reached his feet, Benji sighed and reached for my shoulder, gently turning me around and pulling me into him. His arms slipped around my chest, hugging me tight. My back pressed against his chest, and—I couldn’t help but notice— the same was true for my ass and his crotch.
Shit.
No matter what was going to happen next, I couldn’t let my thoughts go down that path. That would be like lighting a fuse, and there was no way it would end well.
This was nothing more than Benji being friendly.
Still, from one moment to the next, the grove felt twenty degrees hotter. My head, hot. My body, hot. Benji had definitely succeeded in keeping me warm. The only problem now was that I was still trembling—although for very different reasons.
Benji let out a breath that tickled the back of my neck. “Not better?”