TWENTY-FIVE
YES, SHE GOT to watch stunt filming, but there wasn’t much time for talk. And every time Struan’s eyes met hers, she looked away, fearful the truth of her feelings would show.
In the car with Mieux that evening, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. The authority in his voice, guiding others, stopping and starting, patient, composed, taking the time to ensure everyone’s comfort and safety. He made it look so easy to get the needed shots without the usual tension or anger.
They slowed as the gate opened. It was only as they went through that she even thought to look out the window.
“Roxie’s?”
“Yes, I heard that was the plan. Would you rather go somewhere else?”
“No.”
Whatever the plan, it was her responsibility to stick to it. Though she’d be sorry not to see Struan again that night. Two nights in a row without him was just too much.
Throughout the afternoon, she’d worried he might regret their brief interlude in the trailer. Whether he did or not, she thanked God they’d had at least that time to be alone. Wasn’t much, no, but cold turkey wouldn’t be good for either of them, they needed glimmers of togetherness if nothing else.
Mieux led the way inside past a floating staircase and partition wall that concealed a massive open plan space. Outside, a sunken lanai and pool perfected the epitome of indoor-outdoor living. Had she really spent the night there?
“Hello!” Roxie leaped up from her stool at the kitchen island to hurry over. “We’ve been waiting for you. How are you doing?”
We? So far all she could see was the blonde. Bambi never thought of herself as a hugger, as such, but Roxie’s openness and desire to comfort were reassuring in the current mess of her life.
“Okay.”
“And my Mieux.” Roxie went to do the air kiss thing before giving Mieux a short, tight hug. “I’ve missed you.”
Mieux laughed. “We talk on the phone all the time.”
Warm hospitality was just Roxie’s way. As expected, the woman shrugged off the remark. “I miss your face. You should get into the video call thing.”
“I don’t have time for video calls,” Mieux said, clutching a tablet and leather binder to her body with one arm while the opposite hand held her cellphone.
“Woman doesn’t know how to take a vacation,” Roxie said. “How to relax. All that time together on a tropical island, and I never saw you drink one drop of alcohol.”
“My whole life is a cost benefit analysis.” Mieux’s lips stayed curled. “The costs of alcohol far outweigh the benefits.”
“Then you haven’t been doing it right,” Roxie sang, dipping her head a little closer only to then straighten up and throw her arms in the air. “Ah! The man himself!”
No surprise who that would be. Tripp stayed there last night, so why wouldn’t he still be present?
Except the tall, dark-haired man who walked by them wasn’t the same ruffle-haired rake who’d brought her there last night.
“Surprised to see me?” The stranger’s arm lunged out to snatch the blonde against him. “Shouldn’t be. I’m always following you, Lola.”
“Not always,” Roxie said, sort of sly as she straightened her arms and the man came down to join their lips.
“They could be like that for a while.” Mieux took her waist to direct her around the couple toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I can order in. What is everyone in the mood for?”
“Stop the presses,” another male voice boomed from somewhere and she wouldn’t be caught unawares again. God knew who else might creep out the night. Except this time, it was Tripp. Hmm, radar was off. Tripp didn’t pay her, Roxie, or the other man the slightest bit of attention. “Did I hear Mieux Penrose’s voice?” For the first time, Mieux paled like she might not absorb or rebuff whatever surprise might come her way. “I did!”
Roxie pushed away from her kissing partner and batted his arms to win her freedom. “Wait, wait, wait, I hear attitude. Definite tone and attitude. What’s going on here?”
“I was going to order food,” Mieux said, ignoring Tripp whose focus stayed absolute as he moseyed up to relieve the young woman of the tablet, folder, and phone. “Whatever you—”
“I’ve ordered food,” Tripp said, snatching Mieux’s hand now her shields from the world were on the kitchen island, unable to save her. “Come here.”
Mieux yelped when he yanked her hard and sped them out of the public space.
“What don’t I know?” Roxie landed suspicion on the man she’d just been making out with. “Casanova?”
“That you’re my reason for living and breathing?”
Roxie tsked and rolled her eyes. “Duh!”
“The sun which my world revolves around?”
“Not about us, Skippy. About them.”
The guy smiled and tossed an arm around his woman. “Bambi Bennett,” he said. “I’d say ‘I assume’ but I know who you are.”
“Right, right. Yes.” Roxie patted the guy’s stomach. “This is Z. Zairn, my Zairn.”
“How many Zairns are there?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Don’t you and Tripp know everyone between you? Count them.”
“You’re engaged.” Man, she was slow. “You’re her—”
“My Casanova.” Roxie rested her head against him for a brief second.
“I’ll get drinks.”
Zairn kissed Roxie’s hair and went outside.
“This is an incredible place.”
Roxie swept up her hand, using the loose connection to guide her over to the couch she been sitting on when Bambi came in.
“I’d say thank you, but it’s not mine.”
“Jane’s. You said it was Jane’s. Is she here?”
If she didn’t meet the woman to say thank you, continuing to squat would be inappropriate. She didn’t want this Jane to think she was rude. That and, you know, her mom would disown her.
“Dinner with the in-laws. Which is just as well because Jane’s all about the romance. She’d love your star-crossed lovers thing. Did you speak to him today?”
“Struan? For a minute. It never seems like enough.”
Roxie hooked an arm on the back of the couch to support her head on the heel of her hand and folded her legs up at her opposite side, holding them there with the other arm.
“Z and I have been together for almost a year, officially/unofficially, depends which version I tell. I have full access to him anytime I want him. And I can tell anyone in the whole goddamn world that he’s mine. I can walk into any room, do anything to him. Touch him, kiss him, whatever I want.” The woman’s smile grew. “But I still feel exactly the same way about him.” The joy quickly faded. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine what it must be to…”
Zairn came in, three glasses grouped in his hands. Roxie took the first and she took the second. Somehow, though there wasn’t exactly much space, he sat between Roxie’s back and the arm of the couch.
“This girl time?” he asked and kissed Roxie’s head again as the woman adjusted to let his free arm curl around her waist.
“It never seems like enough,” Roxie said, semi-turning her chin his way. “The time we have together.”
“This another dig about me going overseas?”
“No,” Roxie’s retort was a high-pitched rebuke. “Stop flashing your ego at our new friend. We were talking about Bambi and Struan, how little time they get together, because no one can know about them.”
“We’ve been there.”
“Have we though?” Roxie said. “We were a secret because it was a bad idea and you and your whole, ‘best suited to ride your cock’ thing.”
“And after New Year?”
“I was oblivious, kidding myself. And it might not have been enough for us, but I didn’t belong to anyone else in that time. Struan has to watch her with Roman. Imagine if you had to watch me with one of your boys all the time. What if I was going out to dinner with Ballard and the entire world thought we were in love?”
“You never could’ve sold that.”
“We could’ve sold it,” Roxie said on sort of a sneer, which cleared in an instant. “I can’t even imagine it now, being near you without having you, without owning you.”
“This supposed to console our new friend?”
“I’m commiserating, validating her feelings. Saying it’s okay to feel the way she feels.”
“Thank you,” Bambi said, looking into her glass without any interest in tasting the liquid within. “What makes it harder is…”
Roxie leaned forward and, on instinct, Zairn’s arm strengthened to give her counterbalance when she touched Bambi’s face. “You never have to worry about saying anything in front of us, Bambi. We will always keep your secrets.”
From the world or from Struan? Wasn’t a plethora of trustworthy and sympathetic ears around. May as well take the risk, who else did she have to talk to?
She exhaled. “I don’t know much about your relationship, but being two single people, you at least had the prospect of being together. How are Struan and I ever supposed to consider doing this for real?”
“You can give it a shot.”
“How? It’s not possible. It’s not just that I can’t be with a man I care about, it’s that I’m with his brother and they live in the public eye. Yes, you were right, there’s no exit strategy, not one I know. Even if there was, it would separate me from Roman. Great. Fine. That can’t happen fast enough.”
“But it separates you from Struan too.” In understanding, Roxie sank back against her lover. “Have you talked about it?”
She shook her head. “I know it’s not real. We all know it’s not real, but what kind of woman moves from one brother to the next? I don’t want Struan painted as the bad guy, I don’t want any of us hounded by the press, but I also can’t trust Roman to support us or tell any version of the truth other than one that paints him in the—”
“Best possible light?” Roxie said. “Imagine all those victim points. ‘My brother stole my fiancée.’ He’d be golden.”
“In the public eye,” Zairn said, proving he was listening.
He sipped from his glass, then rested his lips in his woman’s hair. The couple touched, they felt, their physicality appeared natural. Impulse brought them closer. Each could read the others form and provide exactly what was needed. If she didn’t already envy them their ability to be together, public and proud, she envied the security they had in each other.
“I’m no fan of Roman Lowe,” Zairn continued. “If I got a say, I wouldn’t have Roxie within a hundred city blocks of him.”
“You get a say.” Roxie pushed back a little against his mouth. “I just don’t always listen.”
“I can’t blow smoke up your ass, Bambi, and imply that it’s going to be okay and love will overcome the odds. Because you and Struan together could be the worst thing to happen to the Lowe family, to the industry, in quite a while.”
“You haven’t seen them together.” Roxie laid her forearm on his to press her palm to his knuckles and squeezed tight; they oozed chemistry. “Who the hell do you think you are to say someone else can’t fight to have what they want, Skippy? You did. How did that work out for you? Huh?”
“Don’t get snippy with me. I am not diminishing what they have, I haven’t seen it, I don’t know. This is a warning from a friend, from a well-intentioned place. Think less about what this will do to Roman’s career and more of what it will do to Struan if his brother loses everything.”
“If Struan left his brother—”
“He loves his job.”
“How could he keep it when the truth comes out? Even if they could hire another stunt coordinator, would anyone else put up with Roman’s bs for more than five minutes?”
Not many folks, that’s for sure. Maybe Magnus would help him hold it together if the brothers were forced apart.
“He’s lost Sway and has been looking for an excuse to return to the crutch that got him in trouble in the first place.”
Losing Sway, his brother, his job… would that send him back to his addiction?
“You can’t put that on her.” Roxie was quick to defend, as was always her way. “That’s not Bambi’s decision or Struan’s. Don’t make them accountable for Roman’s bad choices. Tripp and I were just telling her last night how Struan never listens when we point out how little respect his brother shows. Struan doesn’t need you dumping on him too.”
“I don’t disagree with you,” Zairn said, composed as he sipped from his glass. “I’m just saying it’s not necessarily going to be a bump-free fairy tale ending. You both have to decide how much you want this, what you’re willing to sacrifice. Being together is an option, Bambi. It’s always an option. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give up for Roxanna, and that’s my choice. No relationship or job is worth more to me than she is.”
Sacrifice? Like it or not, the guilt would burden Struan. He always took responsibility for his brother’s mistakes.
“We’ll support you,” Roxie said, pushing her shoulders back. “If you want to do this, if you want to leave, throw down the gauntlet, issue the ultimatum—”
“Because that never causes problems in relationships,” Zairn said, smirking. “Maybe try open communication first?”
“Mr. Know It All. We don’t need you, Skippy,” Roxie said. “I’ll support Bambi without you.”
How could she…? “Don’t you live together?”
“What does that matter? I can help you and live with him simultaneously.”
“I don’t want to cause issues in your relationship. You’ve already been so generous.”
Roxie laughed. “If we can overcome the issues I put in our way, we can overcome anything. This is nothing. He knows I’ll do anything to protect my girls and wouldn’t leave me for all the money and pussy in the land. So if you want to tell Struan you’re ready to make it real, your guy just has to step up and do what’s right. My guy will always show up for me, that’s a given. Don’t you worry about anything except your heart. I’ve got everything else covered.”
She’d never met someone so certain or selfless. Zairn’s head rose, drawing their attention to Tripp and Mieux joining them again.
“Good! Now the gossip,” her blonde-haired friend exclaimed.
Mieux swatted at Tripp’s hand when he touched her waist.
“No gossip,” Tripp said. The look on his face was far too satisfied to be absolutely meaningless. “Unfinished business.”
“I’m not worried,” Roxie declared with confidence. “We have a full bottle of your favorite Johnnie Walker behind the bar. And I might be in the mood to dance.”
“I’m in,” Tripp said.
Zairn snickered and downed the rest of his drink. “To which?”
He shifted forward on the couch, hand open in anticipation of Roxie’s glass as she gulped its remaining contents. They might be able to down this strong liquor like it was nothing, she wasn’t as practiced.
“Food’s on the way. You said—”
“They’ll redirect it.” Glasses in hand, Zairn went back outside.
“I probably shouldn’t go out tonight. I don’t know if there’s a plan.”
“If there’s a plan, it will find you,” Roxie said, easing the glass from her hand to cast it aside, somehow aware of her reluctance to drink. “They’ll bring food to the club, or box it up here for us to eat when we get back.”
“Ask them to multiply everything by ten and send it to the Sigmore Shelter,” Tripp said. “Hundred percent tip, put it on my tab.”
“The homeless place?” Mieux asked, scurrying to the kitchen to retrieve her combat tools.
Roxie’s grin was both proud and mocking. “Momma’s boy.”
Slipping his hands in his pockets, he shrugged.
This was happening? They were going to Crimson? “I might have work tomorrow.”
“Thank goodness it’s still today!”
Had Roxie ever met an objection she couldn’t counter?
On Mieux’s return, Tripp flopped an arm around her, yanking her to his side.
The assistant’s body didn’t respond. “I won’t—”
“You will.” Tripp was confident in his smile. Man was always confident. “Alcohol’s optional.”
“Anything goes at Crimson,” Roxie said, tugging her onto her feet. “Come on, you have to visit. Otherwise it’s like refusing to look at my beautiful child.”
“Your beautiful what?” Zairn asked, sauntering up to them. “When did you get one of those?”
“Right about the same time you gave me that purple envelope.”
“Luck of the draw,” he said. Roxie took his arm in a mutual, probably unconscious, move. “What were the chances?”
And there was Bambi, lost. “Purple envelope?”
“You know,” Roxie said, “I always wondered…”
Zairn offered Bambi his other arm. Her Bambi. Like her! This insanely hot, successful businessman with—who said this town wasn’t a dream-maker? To hell with it. If she was going to get mixed up with anybody, better it be the involved one than the singleton. Though she wouldn’t mind riling Roman by cozying up to Tripp, it wouldn’t win her points with Struan. Choosing to play nice, though she’d get no acknowledgment for it, she slid her hand into Zairn’s elbow.
“Wondered what, Rox Out?” Tripp asked, teeing Roxie up.
“If Jane and I had sat in opposite seats, would we still be here today?”
“Jane would never have broken the rules.”
Roxie’s shrug joined them on the way out to the car. “Toria then. Toria doesn’t care about rules. She’d have got you drunk and jumped you for sure.”
Tripp reached for the champagne the moment the door closed behind them. “So probably not.”
“You think Tori would be in my place?”
“She’d probably be in jail,” Tripp said. “Woman doesn’t know the word decorum. She’ll grab a guy just about anywhere.”
“Z wouldn’t press charges. You wouldn’t press charges, would you, Casanova?”
“A man can be sexually assaulted too,” Mieux highlighted, which provoked her nod.
“Absolutely, yes,” Roxie agreed. “Toria knows things.”
“Blackmail things?”
“Sex position things. She could teach my guy a thing or two. And the finger thing works on him, she likes that.”
“Mmm, I’m intrigued,” Tripp said. “Toria fancy a trip to LA?”
“Oh, little one, your eyes are too innocent for her wonders.” That got a laugh as Roxie winked at him. “Besides, you know the rules, you want one of my girls? Pick carefully. She’ll be the last of them you’re allowed to touch.”
“Rules,” Tripp scoffed. “Like you follow rules.”
“This one’s law.” Roxie tossed her hair. “You want to hang in my club, you obey my laws.”
What kind of night awaited them? A club? No, not “a club” like it was just anywhere. Crimson was the most exclusive club in the universe, especially the sections these guys would hang out in.
Feeling inferior, a little self-consciousness visited. “I can’t go clubbing in my work clothes.”
Roxanna Kyst batted that objection out of the park too. “They’ll bring us clothes there, don’t worry. I’ll look after you.”
Yeah? From a woman who said “anything goes” that wasn’t particularly reassuring.