Chapter 14
NASH
The first aid kit I kept in my toolbox came in handy for tending to Munch’s wounds. He had cuts on his face and neck. None of them seemed deep, but they needed to be cleaned well since we didn’t know what he tangled with. Hopefully, the animal wasn’t rabid.
Raven held Munch’s head still while I washed the blood from his fur and cleaned his wounds. We didn’t have anything to bandage them, but the cuts were already clotting and at least weren’t in areas where he could lick them. She spoke softly and stroked his back with one hand. Her soft, soothing tone made me want to curl up at her feet, too.
Being able to comfort and reassure Raven when she needed me was both a gift and punishment. But seeing the sad and worried look in her eyes, and holding her hand to guide her down the path, grabbed hold of my heart and wouldn’t let go.
What I wouldn’t give to always be the one she turned to.
When I was done doctoring Munch, I sat back and found Raven gazing at me with such open appreciation. My chest tightened, and my heart pounded so loudly I’m surprised she couldn’t hear it. Neither of us looked away for what felt like minutes.
She broke the spell, bringing her attention back to Munch. I stood up to put the first aid kit back.
Even though it was getting late, neither of us was tired. Adrenaline still pumped through my veins after being so worried about finding the dog. “Well, now that our drama of the night is over, any ideas on what we can do to kill some time? I don’t know about you, but I’m wide awake.”
“I’m definitely too revved up to sleep.” She looked around the dark room, as if there were something there we hadn’t seen earlier. “Since I thought I’d be here alone, all I brought with me are books and art supplies.” She spied the stack of papers next to the bed. “I guess we could read another letter.”
“Yeah, all I brought was food and tools.”
“Food. Why didn’t I think of that? I have some snacks and a bottle of wine or champagne. Want some?”
“I could go for some food. I’m not sure alcohol is a good idea.” I hadn’t forgotten what happened the last time we were alone after drinking.
“Aw, come on. Neither of us has to drive anywhere. And who knows if we’ll even get out of here tomorrow?”
I sighed, unable to come up with a legitimate reason not to. I sure didn’t want to tell her I was afraid of what I might do if my inhibitions came down. “Only one glass.” I had to keep myself under tight control, especially if she was drinking.
“Okay. One glass. Coming right up.” She disappeared into the kitchen with the flashlight.
A couple minutes later, she returned with two tall plastic cups of wine and a plate of something. She set the plate in the middle of the bed, since we didn’t have a table, and then sat on the edge of the bed opposite of me.
We weren’t even close to touching, but we were still on a bed. Together. Alone. I swallowed awkwardly as my heartrate spiked.
Rein it in, Porter. This is Rowan’s little sister, remember?
I forced myself to look at the food, hoping to distract myself and maintain my self-control. “What’s this?” I asked.
“Just some appetizers I threw together.”
The plate held a collection of colorful skewers. Some had cherry tomatoes, mozzarella balls and basil with balsamic vinegar drizzled over them, and the others had cherry tomatoes, cucumber chunks, feta, and kalamata olives with olive oil.
“This is what you just threw together?” I said, reaching for another skewer. “It looks delicious. I had no idea you were a gourmet cook. Do you always eat like this?”
“I like to cook. It’s fun to get creative with recipes and come up with something new and even better than the original. But most of the time I go for what’s easy. This weekend I wanted to indulge in all the things I liked.”
“Ah, I see. Is that why you brought flowers?”
She blushed and choked on her wine. Why would she be embarrassed by that?
“I, uh, saw them in the store and thought they were pretty, so I grabbed them.” She nervously rearranged the appetizers on the plate, avoiding my gaze.
There had to be more to that story. But since we hadn’t fought or argued in over an hour, I let it go.
I picked up a skewer and held it up in front of me, studying it. “So, how are we supposed to eat these?”
“At home, I would pull the stick out and eat them with a fork like a salad. But here, I’ll just eat them one piece at a time, right off the stick. Like this.” She opened her mouth and pulled a tomato off it with her teeth.
Watching her red lips as she chewed made my own mouth water, and not for the food. Then she licked the sauce from her fingers, and I almost slid off the bed. I was enjoying this too much, and I needed to remember that this, us, would only ever lead to heartbreak.
She turned the skewer sideways and held it with both hands. “Or you can hold it like corn on the cob and take smaller bites of each thing. But that can get kind of messy. Do it however you want. All depends on what you like.”
What I like.
I tore my gaze away from what I liked and focused on the food in front of me. Following her example, I slid the tomato and mozzarella off with my teeth. A moan escaped my lips.
Raven smiled proudly. “I take it you approve?”
“Beats the heck out of the peanut butter and jelly I made. It’s crazy how good this is for something so simple.”
“Right? That’s what I like, simple but yummy.”
“Nothing simple about you, Tweet.”
She tipped her head and gave me a side-eye glance. “Why do you call me that, anyway?”
“What? Tweet?”
“Yeah. All I know is that you’ve always called me that, but I don’t remember when or how it started.”
I chuckled. “Stupid, really. At the time I thought I was so clever, coming up with a nickname of a bird that was small like you—Tweety Bird—and also the sound a bird makes, high pitched, like you when you’d screech at us.”
“I don’t screech.” Her voice elevated to an almost screech-like volume.
My brow lifted in amusement.
She laughed, warming my insides.
“It’s silly, I know.” I shook my head and shrugged. “Just shows what a dork I was. You’ve been complaining about it all along, which is why I kept doing it. I’ll try to start calling you by your real name, but it might take me a while to get used to it. It’s just second nature to call you Tweet.”
She tugged at the frayed ends of her shorts. “The bird part is kinda cute. And, well, I’m used to it now, anyway. Call me whatever you want.”
I wasn’t sure how to handle this agreeable Raven. And she seemed so flustered all of a sudden. Maybe she wasn’t as unaffected by me as I thought. I took a sip of wine and hoped it would help me settle down as well.
“You ready to read another letter?” I asked.
“Sure. But since I read the last one, you can do this one.” She picked up the lit candle that was on the floor and brought it to the bed.
I picked a letter from the top of the stack. “Is this the next one?”
“Yep. I put them all in order, so that should be right.”
I moved to the top of the bed and leaned my back against the wall. Raven did the same. The soft mattress sank, pushing us together so our shoulders touched. My blood heated instantly. I tried to shift closer to the edge, but still slid back into the same place.
I couldn’t let her know how difficult it was to be this close to her. Besides, I needed her candlelight to read. I just had to get through this reading and then I could move to another spot.
“Okay.” I cleared my throat and began reading out loud.
Dearest G,
Thank you so much for your quick reply. Hearing about your little sister’s antics always brightens my day. I can’t believe she tried to hide a baby raccoon in her room to keep as a secret pet. Then when it escaped and got into the laundry. I laughed out loud, imagining how it looked, running through the house with your mother’s undergarments around its neck and flying like a flag. I hope you include another story in your next letter.
I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re the only one who understands what I’m going through. It’s so hard not being able to talk to anyone about this, except you, of course. I just wish you were closer, so we could talk everyday like we did in the summer.
You advised me to try getting his attention, making it more obvious that I’m interested. It made me giggle when you said boys can be thick sometimes. So true.
Anyway, I’ve tried everything you suggested… laughing at his jokes, offering to help, smiling when he looks at me, doing nice things for him. Nothing seems to work. Either he doesn’t notice, or he isn’t interested. I’m inclined to think it’s the latter.
Do I have to throw myself at him and plant a juicy kiss on him to make it clear? I don’t know what else to do. Any other ideas you have would be appreciated.
Your friend,
T
I set the letter down and took a sip of my wine. “If you ask me, G gave her terrible advice.”
Raven shifted her position to face me. The light of the candle gave her porcelain face a golden glow but failed to soften her scowl. “What’s so terrible about it? You don’t think she should let him know she’s interested?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. That part was good. It’s the things she told her to do that were all wrong. Just because she does all those things doesn’t mean she likes him. He could just think she’s the nicest girl he knows.”
“So what advice would you have given her, oh wise one? Because I’m inclined to believe that boys are just thick, like G told her.”
“Well, that’s true. We are. Which is why subtle things like laughing at his jokes or being nice to him won’t work. Guys need straight forward. She should either flat out tell him she likes him or go with her plan B and plant one on him.”
She shook her head and mumbled under her breath into her glass. “And we already know that won’t work.” She tipped her glass back and finished it off. “Give it up, T. He’ll never figure it out. Men. Are. Clueless.”
“Hey, now. She could be just as clueless about his feelings. Maybe he’s teasing her, calling her silly names, and keeping an eye on her because he likes her—but she doesn’t get it. And there’s nothing he can do about it, anyway. He’s stuck. Forever watching her from afar.” The truth flew out of my mouth like a swarm of bees, and lingered in the air, waiting to sting.
Raven’s head jerked up. Her eyes met mine, wide as saucers. “Wh-wh-what?”
I can’t believe I said all that. Dang wine. I set my cup down and retreated to the window on the opposite side of the room to check the weather. Not that I could see anything in the dark. Just my own reflection staring back at me. I just couldn’t sit there in awkward silence after all but admitting I’d had feelings for her all this time. And there we were, stuck in that tiny cabin together. I considered volunteering to take her dog out. But Munch was curled up on the floor and snoring loudly. Clearly worn out after his ordeal. Maybe I could check the perimeter outside to make sure no trees had fallen since we were out searching for Munch. Any excuse to get out of here.
“Nash?”
If there was ever an opportune moment to make a move, this was it.
Shadows from the flicker candle danced around the room like cheeky spirits mocking me and my lack of game. Thunder boomed and the rain crescendoed, urging me to do something. Anything.
I froze with indecision.
Should I play it off and say that I didn’t mean it that way? Or finally come clean?
Continue the lie, and the torment I’ve been living with for so long? Or should I open up and bear my heart, knowing she could crush it in an instant?
It was a clutch moment. One I’d waited years for.
My chest gripped and my throat squeezed. I looked out into the inky darkness outside, hoping the power of the storm could give me the extra boost of courage I needed.