Chapter 29
RAVEN
“Aargh.” Dirty paint water spilled all over my table and floor. I reached for paper towels to prevent further damage. Normally, a spill like this would be no big deal. Wipe it up and move on. But today it was the last straw.
I plopped down on the floor with my wet paper towels and sobbed.
Munch climbed into my lap and licked my face, clearing away the tears I’d tried so hard to hold in but now gushed out like the dam had broken.
Ever since Dad dropped me off after rescuing me from the cabin, I’d poured myself into finishing Gladys’ painting. Usually, that was enough of a distraction to keep me from dwelling on the pathetic state of my love life or indulging in a lengthy pity party.
Not this time.
Every time I looked at the painting, or thought about the cabin, I was right back there with Nash, reliving each moment. The feel of his arms holding me. The look in his eyes before he kissed me. Working together side-by-side on the remodel. Even taking care of him when he was hurt.
Each memory stabbed me in the chest and made it hard to breathe. I wanted to curl up, go to sleep, and pretend it was all a vivid dream. But instead, I was drowning in this sea of pain, and there was no shore in sight.
If only I’d have been strong enough to resist him. I’ve always known he would break my heart and would never really be mine. My armor had been firmly in place to prevent this sort of thing from happening again. But being alone with him for so long was too much. The fortress around my heart couldn’t hold up against all that.
Honestly, I never had a chance of escaping that experience unscathed. But that didn’t make it any easier to accept.
Better to be mad than sad. That was my motto. I cursed his name and tore up my preliminary sketches, ripping them to bits, all the while mumbling things that would make a sailor blush.
Munch stretched out on the floor and covered his ears with his paws. “Yeah. You got the right idea, Munch. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing me rant.” Especially after how many hours I’ve been going on about this.
The door opened and Cass burst in with her luggage. Munch announced her presence, then pounced on her, almost knocking her over while smothering her with welcome home slurps. “Hey. It’s good to see you too, Munchie. Now let me get in the door. Alright?” She took one look at me and dropped her suitcase. “What in the world happened to you? Did someone die?”
“No. But I really don’t want to talk about it. How are things with your grandma? Did you get her to change her mind and move to a safer place?”
She shook her head. “Not yet, but don’t you dare try to distract me. Tell me what’s going on. You look like the walking dead.”
“Gee thanks, Cass. Exactly what I needed to hear.”
She came over and wrapped her arms around me. “Whatever it was, it must have been bad. When did you get back from the cabin?”
“Yesterday.” I walked into the kitchen and got a glass from the cupboard, slamming the door before filling it with water and taking a drink.
Cass followed me into the kitchen and stood at the counter with her arms folded across her chest. “I’m not going anywhere until you spill. I can be just as stubborn as you when I need to be.”
“Fine. I had a magical few days with Nash while we were stranded together. Both of us finally admitted our feelings. It was better than I ever imagined.”
“That’s great! It’s about time. Did you write it all down in the journal I gave you?”
“Possibly. But if I did, it’s for my eyes only.” T and G probably thought that about their letter too. What if I hid my journal in the wall of our apartment? A hundred years from now someone could be reading my sad life story. I cringed and pushed that horrifying thought aside.
“Hmph. So if it was all so magical, what happened?”
“We got rescued, that’s what. We were down by the river kissing yesterday, when Rowan showed up to rescue us. Predictably, my overprotective big brother went ballistic, and Nash pushed me away so fast I literally landed on my butt in the mud.” I took another drink to keep my emotions in check enough to finish the story. “It was my biggest fear come to life, Cass. Pretty much a repeat of last time, only this time it was even more blatant. And he rejected me in front of Rowan and Dad. I’ve never felt so angry and humiliated at the same time.”
Cass reached out and placed her hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry, Rave. I don’t even know what to say.”
I shook her off. “Nothing to say. It’s done. And now I can move on without question or regret.”
“Still going forward with your plan to date yourself?”
“Absolutely. What happened with Nash just reinforced that decision. I’m definitely better off alone than with a man who gives me nothing but heartache.” I stood tall and tried to portray confidence I definitely didn’t feel. “And I’m never trusting Tillie or Gladys again. This is all their doing. How dare they try to matchmake us?”
“I hardly think you can credit them for the storm of the century that stranded you two together.”
“I wouldn’t put anything past Tillie. Regardless, it’s their fault we were there at the same time. They made sure of that.”
Cass leaned her backside against the counter with her hands gripping the edge as she studied me. “You know, if Nash had manned up and told Rowan to back off, you’d be singing a very different tune.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t. And I can’t wait to give Tillie a piece of my mind.”
“Hey, you wanna come with me? I need to stop at Tillie’s to get some more of her special bath salts. My mom tried mine and loved it so much she wouldn’t give it back.”
“Thanks, but I’m not in the mood to go anywhere right now. Maybe another day.”
“Oh, come on. Enough wallowing. You’re not gonna let the stupidity of some man keep you down, are you? Go take a quick shower and change your clothes, then I’m dragging you out of here, kicking and screaming, if I have to.”
I looked at my roommate through narrowed eyes. I could take her. She might talk tough, but I was definitely the scrappier of the two of us.
But she did have a point. If I became a hermit, that swaggering swine would win. And I didn’t want that.
“You know,” Cass wheedled, “going back to your normal routine will show him you’re unaffected.”
She had me there. I had to show him and everyone else that I was fine. Raven Rhodes would not be broken by a man. “Alright. I’m in. Give me twenty minutes.”
As I walked into Tillie’s store, the woman herself stood right inside the door, arranging bottles of oils and tonics on the shelves. The knowing smile on her face told me she’d been expecting me.
“Cassidy. Raven. I’m so happy you stopped by.”
Cass looked around the store with a hopeful expression. “Hey, Tillie. I need some more of those heavenly bath salts you gave me last time. Please tell me you have some.”
“Just made a fresh batch. It’s right over there. And check out the rest of that collection. I think you might find more goodies to pamper yourself with.” Tillie pointed to a table on the other side of the store. While Cass rushed over to check it out, Tillie turned to me with a twinkle in her eyes. “Raven, it’s good to see you, my dear. How’d you fare through the storm?”
I stomped my foot and jammed my fists on my hips. “Don’t act all sweet with me, Tillie. I have a bone to pick with you.”
She brought her hand to her chest as her eyes widened. “Me?”
“Yeah, you. How dare you play matchmaker with me and Nash?”
She casually walked to the next shelf and began straightening up the soaps. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“You and Gladys arranged for Nash to do the renovations of the cabin at the same time I was painting Gladys’ picture.”
“Well, Gladys needs to sell that cabin as soon as possible. I’m sure she arranged that so it could all be done efficiently. Not even I could predict that a storm would keep you there for days.” She clucked and slowly shook her head. “Poor Gladys, having to sell that place just to pay the taxes. She’s been just sick with worry about the entire thing. But at least it sold quickly. Hopefully she can move on now that it’s all over with.”
“What? It sold already? I was hoping I’d be able to see what it looked like when he”—I coughed to cover up my curiosity—“I mean when it was ready to sell.”
Tillie placed her hands on my shoulders, her intense gaze looking into my soul. “Don’t give up, my dear. Love will find a way. I have a sense it’ll all work out, most likely when you least expect it to. Life, and especially love, doesn’t always follow the way we planned. But how boring it would be if it did.”
“Sorry, Tillie. Not this time. I believe in second chances, but not thirds—This isn’t baseball. Listen. I gave it a try, got burned, learned my lesson. Now it’s time for me to move on.”
“Whatever you say, dear.”
“But Tillie, there is something I’d like to know.” How did I ask this without seeming like a snoop? We were reading private letters, after all. But we weren’t looking for them. They were discovered by accident, like ancient artifacts that get dug up by farmers. “When we were tearing down walls in the cabin, we found something interesting.”
“Really? What did you find? Was it treasure? I’ve always thought it would be fun to unearth a hidden treasure.”
“Not exactly. It was some old letters.”
“Letters? Oh, how fun. Did you read them?”
“We did. They were written in 1945, and were addressed to G, from a girl named T.” I tipped my head and raised my brow, waiting for her to fess up.
She chuckled. “Oh, you thought they must have been mine. Oh, that’s funny. Thanks for making my day.”
“But Tillie?—”
“What were the letters about, if I may ask?”
“Apparently, T was in love with her brother’s best friend, Jonah.”
“Ah, that would have been Thelma. She was best friends with Gladys’ sister, Georgie.”
“What ever happened to her? Did she ever convince Jonah they were meant for each other?”
“No. It’s a dreadful tale, really. Come sit down and I’ll tell you what I know.” Cass and I both sat at the table across from Tillie. “The story goes that Thelma showed up at Jonah’s house a week before his wedding and begged him to run away with her. He turned her down, saying he couldn’t go against his family’s wishes, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn’t bear to be cut off and exiled for the rest of his life. Thelma got in her car and drove away.” Tillie sighed and looked at me before continuing.
I motioned for her to go on, needing to know how it all turned out.
“Well, on her way home, she decided to comfort herself with ice cream. Although her vision was blurry with tears, she drove to the local ice cream parlor. Unfortunately, in her extreme emotional state, she hit the gas instead of the brakes and plowed right into it. They say she died under a mountain of her favorite rocky road. Not a bad way to go, if you ask me.”
I felt like the air had been sucked right out of my lungs. After reading all of T’s letters, I’d hoped she’d found her happily ever after, even if it wasn’t with Jonah. But this… this was not what I’d expected. At all. “That’s awful. I… I feel so bad for her.”
Tillie nodded with her lips turned down, her movement as slow as molasses. “It was a tragedy, for sure. The entire town was rocked by it.”
“Whatever happened to Jonah? Do you know?” I asked.
“He was devastated by Thelma’s death but married his betrothed, the woman his family wanted him to marry, did everything he was supposed to. He lived to be a crotchety and unhappy old man. The one who always chased kids off his lawn with his garden hose. I don’t think anyone ever saw him smile.”
A realization hit me like a brick to the head. That could be me. I might be fun and carefree now, but someday I’d be the mean old spinster yelling and spraying innocent kids. Not the life I wanted. At all. “That’s sad, too. Neither of them got a happy ending.”
Tillie shook her head and reached out to cover my hand with her wrinkled one. She squeezed my hand and looked right at me. “They had love and they let it get away.”
“So your saying isn’t true. Love doesn’t always find a way.”
“That’s a good point.” Tillie placed her wrinkled hand on top of mine. “All the more reason not to turn your back on it.”
I looked to Cass for backup, but she tilted her head and nodded. Figures she’d side with Tillie and not me.
I pulled my hand away from Tillie’s and crossed my arms. My voice raised in defense. “I didn’t turn my back on it, or let it get away. It was yanked from my very hands.”
Tillie’s wise eyes penetrated my soul, making me squirm. “Maybe so, but the questions is… if love returns to your hands, what will you do with it? Will you push it away, or hold on to it?”
I honestly didn’t know the answer to that.