Chapter 13 Reyes
Reyes
The forest usually grants me peace, but as I walk towards the village, the leaves and peaceful sunlight are missing their comfort.
I rub my hand absentmindedly, resisting the urge to run back and forget this scheme to leave.
The look on his face was a punch to the gut.
Shock that morphed into betrayal, then fear that faded to nothing.
The betrayal hurts the most, but it’s the nothingness I hate. The stoic mask that slid into place when I told him it would just be for a few days, and the way he’d clocked out when I tried to reassure him I’d be safe.
We planned for worst-case scenarios, and determined a path that allows us to scout ahead. There’s a strict agreement between us that we’ll turn around if we run into any signs of a threat. We can’t erase the danger, but we can plan for it, and we have. We did.
None of that seemed to matter, though.
Something shifted in his demeanor, and it’s like I was talking to a carving of Nyx.
Cold and flat and unreachable in a way he’s never been with me.
I’m not convinced my words penetrated his mind, even if he asked me to be safe.
He said goodbye in that quiet manner of his, but the motions were mechanical.
The spark behind his eyes was missing, and it’s my fault.
Near the edge of the forest, I hesitate.
My gaze swings towards the overlook as if it were possible to see him from this far away.
It’s like I can sense him staring after me, too.
The need to go to him is so intense that it feels like I’m being tugged along, fighting some invisible binding that has me snared.
My heart hurts, and my feet drag as if they’re made of lead as I convince myself to respect his boundaries.
I promised him a choice, and he asked me to leave.
Even though every instinct I have is screaming against it, he deserves autonomy over himself.
He’s more than earned it, and I’ll never be the one to take it away again.
This anchor of a heart fights my every step as I force myself from the woods.
In the village, Lillith and Taryn stand beside the van.
Even after Elas and August plowed through that fence at Ljómur, the SUV still runs.
Lillith has been tinkering with it to make sure it doesn’t die and leave us with a single vehicle, but the van is the safer choice.
Its engine is weaker and the lower clearance doesn’t handle the terrain as well, but it’s reliable.
We travel light, saving the space for the supplies we’ll be hauling back. Food and water, spare fuel, and a few essentials for emergencies. Blankets, a tarp, rope, and a surprisingly colorful variety of weapons. Lillith apparently raided the armory as they fled Ljómur and treated it like a buffet.
My knife is holstered on my side, freshly sharpened. Taryn has one of our limited firearms on her hip—a handgun that almost knocked me on my ass the few times I tried to shoot it. How she handles it without as much as an obvious kickback is a fucking mystery, because that shit hurts. Lillith…
Well.
Lillith has a twin set of short swords strapped on her back in a threatening X, and a longsword slung around her hips.
There’s also a suspicious lump under the thigh of her sweatpants that leads me to believe more weapons are hidden on her body.
It seems like overkill, because according to the stories of their escape, her hands are the deadliest thing on her person.
But she looks happy, so that’s all that matters, I guess?
Taryn acknowledges my approach with a polite smile before her attention swings back to her mate. “Sweetheart, you won’t be able to sit down like that.”
“Don’t I look cool, though?” Lillith flexes her giant arms as Taryn chuckles and pats her bulging biceps.
“So cool,” she agrees as she slides the chest holster—where did that even come from?—over Lillith’s head, being careful not to snag her horns with the leather strap.
“Who pissed in your morning oats?” Elas asks from beside me, and I scrunch my nose.
“Gross,” I complain, and he chuckles and shrugs. “Nerves are bothering me, I guess.” My eyes betray me and move to the forest, and Elas hums his understanding. Pity softens his expression for a moment, and I cross my arms and turn away.
Everyone looks at me that way when it comes to Nyx.
They read my face like a book, where my affections are apparently displayed in real time.
And they all have a fucking opinion, even if they don’t say it out loud.
They prepare for my inevitable heartbreak from loving someone who’s always been invisible. They brace themselves for my fallout.
“Did you tell him you were leaving?” he asks, gentler this time but still with that godsdamned sympathy. He means well… they all mean well, and it kills my rising indignation.
“Yeah.” I shove my fingers through my hair as I blow out a long breath. “Make sure he’s okay, will you?” Elas nods and pats his chest, just above his heart. It’s a promise, and Elas doesn’t give them lightly. It relieves a fraction of my tension.
The chatter builds as most of the camp gathers around us to say goodbye.
Everyone wants something. August needs more medical supplies, of course, while Ronan is more concerned with food.
Cameron only asks for more books, and I promise to grab a few new ones to add to our small library, even as Ronan and Elas both roll their eyes.
Xeni stands off to the side like he normally does, and his brows lift in momentary surprise as I approach. “Is there anything you need?” I ask him, and he bites at his lip as he considers the question.
“Tools and building materials,” he finally answers, surprising me with the response. “Our infrastructure is weak, and that single solar panel isn’t enough for the number of people here. Any sort of wiring and tools, pipes, anything like that would go a long way.”
I nod, worrying my lip. “Those things take up a lot of space.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “But if you guys are serious about making this a permanent home, we need to make some upgrades.”
“Fair enough. I’ll see what I can find.” He nods and offers me a tentative smile, and I realize that without that scowl on his face, he’s gorgeous.
Sure, the solid white eye is unnerving, as are the twisted bones jutting from his skull.
And yeah, the eyepatch is certainly a conversation starter, but he’s lithe and graceful, with defined, almost delicate, features.
He’s also notoriously closed off. August swears he was happy and even a bit flirty back at the base, but since they’ve arrived here, he’s barely spoken. His story is a mystery, and he seems to prefer it that way.
Taryn’s hands are on her hips as I return to the van, and Lillith is finally free of blades—visible ones, at least. Everyone is in that stasis that comes from waiting impatiently but being too polite to say anything.
I glance towards the woods, but Nyx is nowhere to be found.
My skin tingles where we touched, the ghost of his hand in mine only making it harder to leave.
I sigh, but there is no point in delaying any further.
There’s another quick round of goodbyes, and a hurried reminder from Ronan that if we are followed to fuck off and not come back. It’s accompanied by a strained laugh from Cameron along with an insistence that Ronan didn’t mean it.
The purple fucker glares at me when I raise a brow in question.
Pretty sure he meant it.
We load into the van and travel along the hidden pathway.
The further we get from the village, the more my stomach churns.
Taryn and Lillith chatter up front, and I curl up into a ball in the middle row, leaning against the window as the world whirs by beyond the glass.
The afternoon sun is hot against my skin, and though the drive will take us into the night, we all agree to make it in a straight shot.
We only stop for a quick dinner and refuel, scarfing down a meal and pissing behind some trees before we’re on the road again. The warmth on my face and the hum of the tires are like a lullaby, and as night falls, my eyes flutter closed and sleep pulls me under.
The soft touch on my knee shocks me awake, and I reach for the knife at my side as I jolt upright.
“Easy there, killer. It’s just me.” Taryn’s voice soothes my shock, and my hand relaxes as my sight adjusts to the darkness.
She’s sideways in the passenger seat, already unbuckled, and I realize that while the engine is still humming, it’s idle.
Blinking the last of the sleep from my eyes, I stare at the abandoned camp outside the window, illuminated by the headlights. I’ve slept for hours.
A peculiar sense of familiarity hits me as I glance over the moonlit silhouette of the buildings.
It’s strange to be back. Despite the years I lived here, it feels like I’ve stepped uninvited into someone else’s life.
The splinter of homesickness is overridden by the repulsion that wants to flee.
It’s like going home, except the place you grew up only holds sad, lonely memories, and you realize it was never where you belonged.
“What time is it?” My voice is thick with sleep as I unhook my seatbelt and stretch, arching my spine with a loud groan as the muscles flex and strain. Taryn’s gasp is so quiet I almost don’t hear it, and I squint my eyes at her in the darkness to find her gaze wild.
“Uh,” she says, and my brows snap together. In the time I’ve known her, Taryn has always been confident and steady. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her at a loss for words.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Lillith cranes her head in such a hurry to check on Taryn that her horns scrape against the ceiling. Taryn blindly reaches over and squeezes Lillith’s forearm, but her eyes don’t leave mine as a flicker of something almost sorrowful passes over her face.