Chapter 13 Reyes #2
“Enough with the dramatics.” My voice comes out sharper as concern bubbles in my stomach. “What is it?”
“Your… your hand,” she stutters, still with that damned expression. I hold my hand out in front of me and flex my fingers wide. While I see nothing out of the ordinary, Lillith mimics Taryn’s earlier surprise with a sharp inhale.
“Would you stop making that noise? What are you even freaking out about?” I demand as I turn my palm to face me. Adrenaline floods my system, the potent surge so strong that I can almost feel the dilation of my pupils.
A golden glow stares back at me.
It’s scattered, sprinkling over the pads of my fingertips and swirling along the inside of my thumb. Tiny spots merge with bigger ones, shimmering off my hand like a constellation.
“What?” I breathe as my heart lodges in my throat. My pulse jumps and knocks as I shake my head and try to make sense of it.
“Who were you talking to before we left?” Taryn asks, and I shake my head again, recalling my steps.
“It’s not like there are a whole lot of options.” My voice is borderline hysterical with its high pitch, and the nervous laugh that follows is just as agitated. “Xeni. I talked to Xeni, but I didn’t touch him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. He was standing several feet away from me. Before that I was…” Realization doesn’t so much as find me as it slams into me with brute force, and it makes me waver. If I were standing, I’m convinced my knees would’ve hit the ground.
“I was with Nyx,” I whisper as a fresh wave of panic rises in my chest. “But that’s not…
it can’t… I’ve touched him before… haven’t I?
I had to… there’s no way I haven’t… right?
” My frantic eyes swing up to theirs, bouncing between them as I beg someone to answer me.
“We spend… we spend all that time together, and I give him gifts and we talk, and I…” My voice creaks to a stop as I recall all the times I’ve been close to Nyx.
Him accepting the flowers I bring him, always grabbing the stem and never my hand. Spending the harvest working side by side, but pulling the produce from different plants.
Delivering his snacks and watching him grab a muffin from the basket I carry.
Sitting on the rocks, with his presence so close I’m drunk off it, but not touching. Never touching.
Another memory hits me and steals the remaining oxygen from my lungs. Those times when he begs me not to leave and grabs for me. Even now, I can feel my shirt pulling against my torso as he tugs, his fingers wrapped around the fabric and his eyes wide.
He’s never…
We’ve never…
“We have to go back,” I croak, and Taryn and Lillith glance at each other in surprise.
“He was already so upset that I was leaving him. Oh, gods, I fucking left him.” My fingers jam into my hair, snagging in a tangle that makes my eyes water.
“He’s going to be so fucking confused and scared.
I have to go back!” My voice has risen into a shout, and Taryn chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment before she answers in an infuriatingly calm tone.
“Reyes, we just got here—”
“I don’t fucking care!” I bellow, and Lillith’s passive demeanor shifts to something predatory in an instant.
She’s alert, muscles tense and eyes locked on me.
It makes my hackles rise, my instincts alight with the silent threat, but it doesn’t change my mind.
“I do not fucking care,” I repeat more calmly, but my entire body quakes with the effort of containing myself.
“You’ll care if winter hits and we don’t have enough food,” Taryn argues. “I know you, Reyes, and if he’s hungry with nothing to eat, you will blame yourself. It will destroy you.”
“And this will destroy him! I’ll figure it out,” I snarl through gritted teeth. “Taryn, I can’t leave him there to deal with this… I fucking can’t. If you won’t help me, I’ll go back myself.”
“Reyes,” she calls, but I slide the van door open so hard it bounces back and knocks me in the arm as I scramble out and jog towards the garage.
“Reyes!” she shouts, and thundering footsteps precede Lillith blocking me with her enormous body.
Arms crossed and standing at her full height, she stares down at me.
“Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder,” she warns, and I bare my teeth like a feral thing.
“What would you do?!” She rears back in surprise at the anger in my tone.
My hands fling around me in my helpless panic, needing an outlet for this fury.
“If it was Taryn, and you knew she was hurting? If you were responsible?! What would you do to get back to her? What fucking mountains would you move to make sure she was okay?” Her posture droops as she glances over my shoulder to where Taryn cautiously approaches. “What would you have me do?”
“How about this?” Taryn steps beside me with another of those pitying smiles. “Why don’t you show Lillith where the truck is stored, and she can work on getting it started while you and I carry the greenhouse out here to load.”
“It could start right away. What if it starts? What if I could go to him?” I argue, but Lillith shakes her head.
“If it’s been sitting for years like you say it has been, it won’t. It’ll need some coaxing.”
“But what if it does?!” I shout.
“If it starts,” she interrupts with that booming voice that echoes through the otherwise silent night, “we’ll plan from there.
You aren’t driving off in this state. It’s too dangerous, and we won’t let you do something stupid.
” I snarl at her, but she only raises a brow, though her face softens.
“We want to get you back to the village as soon as possible, too, Reyes. You know that, right? That we would never do anything to keep you from him?”
My shoulders fall as the fight drains away.
“I… I know that, I do. Shit, I’m sorry,” I mutter.
Anger fades into a wave of worry as I stare down at my glowing hand in the darkness.
The light flickers and swirls under my skin, and I picture him doing the same.
My heart lurches and my stomach is tight, every instinct screaming at me to do whatever it takes to return to him.
Steal the van and leave them here, or argue until I convince them to go with me.
Hells, it has me half convinced I should start running just to find my way back to him.
I wonder what he’s doing right now. Wonder if he’s hurting.
“Come on,” Taryn says as I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod, leading them towards the garage. “It’s going to be a long night, and we’ve got work to do.”