11. Chapter 11
‘ H rae! What is taking them so long ? They should be here by now.’
The impatience in my voice echoed through the empty library, mocking the calm I’d hoped to gain in the quiet chamber. The snarl I aimed at the mocking sound left me feeling childish. Orm had been gone for three long days, and despite trying to complete my research on the conduit mage, I’d spent the entire time pacing the library like a caged beast.
The squadron, with its precious cargo, had been due back hours ago, and the feeling of dread I’d had since luncheon refused to give me a moment’s peace.
A sudden surge of magic so powerful it made the sky turn crimson left me gaping. The silver marks responded, burning themselves deeper into my body. The moment I could breathe again, I rushed to the overfull shelves, dragging tome after dusty tome down, desperately seeking some insight into the phenomenon.
What the hell just happened? I wondered, still pacing between the shelves, worrying that something terrible had ruined all my plans. As I caught sight of my reflection in a darkened window, I stopped, taking the time to smooth away the frown marring my features.
After glancing at the finery I’d donned to impress the conduit mage, I brushed away an imagined speck of dust. My black damask outfit was embroidered with intricate silver patterns, most especially around the collar and sleeves. They complimented the simple silver earrings that accented my sharp, pointed ears, fully uncovered since I’d braided my hair.
Orm had likely told her I was dark fae, and if I couldn’t hide the fact, I wanted to show it off. During our brief meeting, she had given me the impression of a woman who refused to back down from danger, and I wanted to show her just how dangerous I was.
Annika Diavellar had dismissed me when I had tried to charm her, and I still felt the sting of failure. But from the information I’d gathered concerning her past, the mage respected strength and cherished intelligence. Both of her Anchors had been assertive men with potent magic, and only Annika had considered them kindhearted.
The roar of landing dragons was a heavenly melody—the sound of slamming doors and the heavy panting of the messenger who arrived shortly after that, however, felt like someone had thrown iced water down my spine.
‘M-my lord … The commander … requests your presence in his quarters immediately,’ the messenger stuttered, out of breath, and I frowned.
His choice of words was bizarre. Why in Orm’s quarters? I mused. This has to be related to that aether storm still reverberating within my chest. Dark Mother, protect them . Pressure built in my chest, and the worry that my friend—or the mage—were injured nearly overwhelmed me.
We had healers here; mostly low-class or non-mage, suitable for the fortress. They were necessary for both the garrison and the town, and I was only called in the direst circumstances.
‘Come with me and tell me what happened.’ The menace in my voice had the messenger backing away as I rushed towards the door.
‘The commander brought in an unconscious woman. There was an attack on the journey here, and her … She didn’t look good.’
‘ What ? Get out of my way,’ I snarled before bolting for Orm’s private quarters.
She can’t die, not now. I can’t be trapped in this torment forever .
Jumping two stairs at a time, the images racing through my mind chased all rational thoughts from my head. I’d searched for centuries for this chance, and I’d be damned if I let her die now that she was within my grasp. I didn’t even slow down as I reached my friend’s chambers, smashing the door open with a pulse of magic, the hard rock wall chipping from the impact.
Orm’s rooms looked the same as usual—a warrior’s lair with unpainted stone walls and large stained glass windows overlooking the mountain ridge. The place revealed the personality of its owner. Soft woven rugs covered the floor, and animal pelts on the walls and furniture highlighted the ancient weapons placed at strategic points throughout the room. The space was lit by candles that created more shadow than light, with an antlered chandelier hanging in front of the massive bed.
None of those details escaped my notice, even as my attention focused on the fevered, thrashing woman that Orm was attempting to hold down as gently as possible. His face was stricken with such worry and helplessness that it hollowed his cheeks and tightened his lips.
‘Help her! I don’t know what to do. She saved me. She saved us all, but something happened between her and Vahin … he’s in pain, and she is burning from the inside out. I can feel it through the bond. If she dies, I don’t know what will happen to him.’
I had never seen him so close to losing control. His voice was roughened and raw while a yellow glimmer lit his eyes from within. Then came the realisation. Orm wasn’t asking for my help; he was commanding it, and it was an order I couldn’t refuse. My friend didn’t even look at me, his attention solely focused on Annika’s face. That in itself told me that whatever had happened on the journey was enough to shatter the stoic commander’s composure.
‘Move aside so I can examine her and tell me exactly what happened. This was supposed to be a straightforward Choosing.’
‘Nothing is straightforward when it comes to this woman. We were wrong about her, so fucking wrong. She saved me , even after I threatened her with the fucking geas.’ He snorted a joyless laugh. ‘She called me a bastard, rattling her chain. And fuck, she was right—but what else could I do?’ He didn’t move. Instead, his arms wrapped tighter around Ani’s body.
‘Orm, I need to examine her …’ I wondered whether this would be the moment I saw his walls crumble. He looked at me as if my calm offended him.
‘You don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me she could bond with a dragon? When the spectrae swarmed us, she did something that burned them all. The entire swarm died when she took Vahin’s flames and … fuck , it was amazing.’ He threw his head back and laughed. ‘I witnessed a fucking miracle today, sitting there like a damn idiot as she did this to herself … and now she’s dying.’
‘She Anchored Vahin? Wait—spectrae attack? That’s impos … Dragon magic is raw and primal. It can’t be Anchored,’ I stuttered, utterly confused as I placed two fingers on her wrist. ‘ Hrae !’ I hissed, pulling my hand away before my skin could blister to cast a barrier spell on my body.
Her skin was burning hot, her pulse was so erratic that I knew she was burning alive. The magic … the aether surrounding her sparked, hissing with power—the chaotic, destructive, all-consuming power of dragon fire. I’d never seen anything like it, and I would need to know more before even attempting to add my own magic to the mix. With no other ideas, I opted for the simplest of methods to help her.
‘I’ll open the windows. We need to undress her and cool her down. Hopefully, that will buy us enough time for me to think of a solution.’
‘I will call for the women,’ he said, but as soon as Orm moved, I grasped his hand, pointing to the blackening fabric of the bedding. ‘Her power is out of control. I can protect myself to a certain degree, and your bond with Vahin protects you from dragon fire, but any maids or servants will burn if they touch her skin. This isn’t the time for false modesty, Orm. Do it, now!’ I commanded, and his eyes narrowed.
‘It’s not about modesty. My touch … Ani’s magic wraps around me whenever I touch her bare skin. Or at least it did. I can’t feel it anymore. She didn’t want this, and I promised …’
‘What are you talking about? Did she try to Anchor you?’
‘I don’t know, but she didn’t want me to touch her.’
‘Orm, focus! Do you think she’ll suddenly wake up and think you’re trying to fuck a half dead furnace just to Anchor her? Trust me and just do as I say, or I’ll do it for you,’ I snapped, too concerned about the woman to watch my words. If Orm still refused, I would do it and hope that my protection spell would be strong enough to withstand the full force of Vahin’s flames.
‘ Watch your tongue , fae. She saved my life, and you will talk about her with respect, ’ Orm shocked me with the yellowish glint of wild magic in his eyes and the threatening tone of his voice.
‘Then do what I told you to do, and we can both meekly apologise later. I want her to live. That’s my priority, not worrying about fancy words,’ I answered harshly because Orm’s words stung, but I couldn’t allow them to faze me.
His muscles tensed, but he gently sat her up, leaning her against his chest before he undressed her. A brief sob shook her body when he reached for her blouse, and Ani threw her hands around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.
‘Talmund, how did you survive? I thought I’d lost you, I thought I’d lost you both …’ she mumbled, resting her forehead against his neck. I saw Orm stiffen, his hands pausing. I cursed quietly as her magic became even more unstable with the voicing of those words.
‘She said I reminded her of her Anchor,’ he told me, uneasiness in his voice. ‘I’ve never tried to …’ I felt how weak and thready her pulse was. I turned towards the door and shouted for buckets of ice-cold water and towels.
‘I know, but we can use that. Calm her down. Be this Talmund if you must.’
Orm seemed torn. I knew deceiving her went against what he considered honourable, even if he was doing it for a good reason, but I felt no remorse. The entire castle could burn if we didn’t get this under control before the dragon fire destroyed everything in its path.
As the servants dropped off water and ice, Orm finally peeled the last layer of clothing from of her body, exposing her delicate skin that was lit from within by the strangely dancing flames. She was filled with fire, and for the first time since I’d walked into this hell, I realised it might not be possible to save her.
‘Vahin said she rejected his Anchor,’ Orm commented, and my gaze slid to above her left breast, where conduit mages wore the symbol of their bonds. It was the physical manifestation of the tether, the mage’s interpretation of the magic. She had one, but it looked nothing like a dragon. ‘She still wears the marks of her dead lovers,’ I said, grinding my teeth.
What kind of will or love could have kept their magic tethered to her body after they had died? What depth of grief did she harbour to cause it? I didn’t have an answer, but it was clear why she had rejected Vahin’s spirit.
Those symbols should have disappeared when the magic that had created them ceased to exist. Yet the shield, wrapped in healing blue ivy, was still there, sitting firmly over her heart. The flames were concentrated there, the faint shape of a dragon blazing from inside—seeking a way out, fighting to overcome the current symbols, and failing.
‘She will die if the ritual isn’t completed,’ I said, placing a wet, cold towel over her chest and abdomen. The cold water hissed, sizzling on her skin. When I added ice over it, Annika cried out in pain, reaching for Orm. He caught her hand, soothing her and murmuring sweet nonsense. When she calmed, he looked at me quietly for a moment before reaching for a dagger with cold, grim determination.
‘Would cutting out the marks help?’ He held the knife ready, and I looked at him in horror. ‘No, this is just her mind’s manifestation of her bond. We have to cut the attachment to her lovers, her memories, not her skin.’
I was out of my depth. I’d healed my fair share of patients, but the woman burning on Orm’s bed had Anchored a dragon and was wielding its flame while still being tethered to the spirits of her dead lovers.
Her attachment was almost unbreakable, and deep within my heart, I ached with envy. I’d begged, prayed and cursed my mother in order to remove the marks tying me to my family and here was someone who had defied death to hold those she loved near to her heart. Still, I knew that for Ani to survive, I had to break that bond.
‘You are really not going to like this … We have to use the woman’s delusion against her. You need to keep pretending to be Talmund and convince her to accept Vahin’s mark.’
‘I’m sure I look nothing like him,’ he answered. ‘I know, but Annika is lost to delirium and only sees him , not you. The university report said that he was a paladin mage, forceful but fair, with his own code of honour. Do you see how she could have made the connection?’
‘Yes, but if I do this, how will she ever trust me again?’ Orm gave me a grim look and positioned himself behind Ani, cradling her head when it lolled to the side before brushing wet strands of hair from her eyes. She moaned painfully, cuddling her cheek to his large palm, and his face softened.
‘Annika, you have to live. How can I fulfil my promise if you go and die on me? I thought you were too stubborn to give in to death.’ I watched as Orm weaved strength, tenderness, and a teasing tone into those words, and I realised that in the short time he’d been with the mage, he’d grown to care for her.
Without prompting, my friend leaned down and softly pressed his forehead against Ani’s, his grip tightening when her body shuddered. Vahin’s pained roar shook the windows until she quietened, and as the mage’s eyes opened, a delicate smile blossomed on her lips. I don’t know what she saw, but hope glowed in the depths of her eyes as she gazed up at Orm.
That was my cue to act, and I began creating a sigil with the swirling aether. I placed my hand on her midriff, pouring in as much of my strength and power as possible to sustain her failing body, feeling her spirit brush against mine.
It was painfully exquisite.
Flames roared uncontrolled inside her, and when I activated my second sight, the world turned grey save for the maelstrom of aether buffeting Ani’s soul. She was a marvel, and I was captivated by the iridescent beauty of her magic. It was like staring at the source of all power through a silken veil, like knowing one faced destruction if that thin barrier was only swept aside.
For mages, our bodies were the vessels of our magic, and we spent decades learning how to contain more, but once we reached our limits, that was all we could achieve. Annika, though, was the glimmering shroud fluttering before the vastness of the aether, and I couldn’t resist the urge to peel it back just a little. I wanted to become a part of it, to bask in the glorious power, the woman ignorant of her immense potential.
I rarely utilised my mother’s abilities, but this time I embraced my imperfect psychic gift. The marks on my chest lit up when I reached for Annika’s mind. I wasn’t skilled enough to perceive much, but I felt her essence burning in dragon fire with no rest or reprieve in sight; yet she was unwilling to let her lovers go. She apparently preferred to suffer than to let the last vestiges of their connection disappear.
There was no other way around it. As long as she grieved, there was no place for another Anchor.
‘Damn it all to—this isn’t going to work, Orm. You need to use the geas to make Ani let go. I can’t keep her alive whilst she’s still resisting.’ I was beginning to lose the last of my composure, so when Orm looked at me in shocked disapproval, I flinched, offering a hasty solution.
‘I can make her forget you did it. I know it’s wrong, but this isn’t about hurt feelings; it’s life-or-death. Please, trust me. If you could see the ocean of magic that is trying to push through, you would understand. Do it for her, and don’t hesitate—I can’t hold on much longer.’
I was unable to say much more. Sustaining her life was taking an enormous toll on my strength, and I couldn’t keep splitting my attention. Smoke rose from the bed, the ultimate proof that we were heading towards catastrophe, when I finally heard a grunt from Orm.
‘Rahit va’car.’ 1
While I waited, I managed to direct part of my attention to a shielding spell. The heat decreased, but it wouldn’t last for long, and even being next to her was becoming difficult. We had to hurry. I grimaced in pain.
Orm’s face hardened into unyielding resolve. He placed a soft, featherlight kiss on her lips, and when she moaned softly, her lips parting to deepen the kiss, he whispered, ‘I’ve wanted to do that since I met you. This is probably the first and last time I’ll be allowed.’ When he straightened, all I could see on his face was steely, unfeeling determination.
‘It is time to say goodbye, my sweet girl. You can’t hold the spirits of the dead to this world. It hurts them, and it hurts you. They need peace, and so do you, but I will fill the void they leave behind if you’ll let me,’ Orm murmured, cradling her to his chest, rocking them both gently. I watched as my friend whispered something and then cleared his throat. ‘Release your dead lovers and let Vahin in,’ he commanded.
Annika’s body arched, every muscle pulled tight as her eyes snapped open, wailing as an unseen force tried to rip her apart. The raw terror in her features chilled me to the bone. ‘No, Orm. Please … No!’
‘Do it, Annika. Obey my command.’
Orm held her as sweat poured from Ani’s body, the low keening from her lips tearing at our hearts. Tears of blood slowly tracked across her pale face as she fought the geas, but the marks that tethered her lovers faded from her skin. I could see the strain my friend was under as he held the suffering mage; I was close to breaking myself, but with the disappearance of the marks, Ani finally relaxed, her quiet sobs the only sound in the room.
‘Do what you have to do, Ari. It can’t be any worse than my crime,’ he said, wiping the tears from Ani’s cheeks. I was left speechless at the guilt in his gaze, the pained expression of a man who had descended into a nightmare of his own making. The stern commander I knew was not a man of sweet words and gentle caresses. Yet, here he was, comforting Annika after shattering her world with the words of her geas.
‘Somnara te sarashi jare va’et.’ 2
I dropped the shielding spell and directed my remaining strength into the words of the spell, letting the glyph sink into her skin.
‘Why did you do that? I can barely remember their faces. How can I let them go? I can’t let them fade away. My memories are all I have left. Why did you do this to me? You promised to free me, but … My life was already hollow. Without their memory, it isn’t worth living …’
Annika’s words drifted into silence as my spell softened the rawness of her grief, leaving behind only the mild ache of a love mourned long ago. Orm swallowed hard and placed his cheek against her forehead.
‘You will never be lonely. You have my word, Nivale. Let the dragon in, my beautiful, thorny flower, and you will never be lonely again,’ he whispered, stroking her hair gently, rocking them both.
Ani’s body jerked suddenly, shocking the guilt-ridden commander into looking down. Thankfully, though, she was no longer in danger from Vahin’s fire. The unblemished skin on her chest began to glow as the bond with the dragon manifested, fire erupting over her heart, the ghostly image of a dragon rising from the flames.
Orm looked at me in panic, but before he could utter a word the mirage retreated, leaving behind the symbol of a dragon, wings aloft, surrounded by a ring of fire. Annika sighed with relief as the torrent of magic subsided. Strands of aether danced briefly around us before settling peacefully into their regular pattern. Finally, I could release the breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding.
‘Did she forget them?’ Orm asked quietly, and I shook my head. ‘No, I only blocked the memory of what happened in this room. She will remember her lovers, but without a tether to their spirits, it will be more like a memory from the distant past, lacking the rawness of grief. That’s all I could do.’
Orm shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe what had happened, and his next words cut close to the heart. ‘We’ve taken a lot from her and have given nothing back. All for the sliver of hope she might help fix the Barrier,’ he said, a pained catch in his breath.
He pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment from his pocket and held it over a burning candle. I watched speechless as the geas turned to ash, leaving the commander the only man who could ever tame Annika’s roaring inferno. The challenge in his eyes was enough for me to nod my agreement.
‘I will take the blame for it. Your duty is to protect the kingdom and its people, whatever it takes. This had to be done. She had to come here; and now she must never know what we did to save her. You need her as an ally, not as an enemy at your back.’
‘Yes, but she is not just a tool to be used and discarded, Ari. Not for me, at least. Not anymore. Ari … I’ve never known anyone of such courage,’ he said, stopping when Ani’s breath stuttered and her eyelids opened.
I saw the flicker of some unreadable emotion in Annika’s eyes. As it passed, she stared at Orm with a suspicious expression, and my friend gave her a tense smile. ‘It’s all done. You are safe and in the castle. You kept your promise.’
Ani cleared her throat, raw and dry after her ordeal. Orm, suddenly hesitant, moved away and, after a quick look around, grabbed a goblet. He filled it with water and held it to her lips so that she could sip at its contents. ‘Did anyone die?’ she asked weakly, and I saw tears pooling in the rim of her eyes. ‘Why does everything hurt so much?’
‘You saved us all by Anchoring Vahin, but something disrupted the connection.’ Orm stopped, then shook his head. ‘I can’t lie to you. You were dying, and I couldn’t let that happen. We had to protect you. My beautiful soul, I’m so—’
‘Onire!’ 3
I shouted it before he could finish the sentence, and Ani’s head dropped to his shoulder.
‘No! I told you. She must never know, and telling her just to clear your conscience will only cause her pain.’ I knew that if Ani learned of our manipulation it could prove disastrous. Orm was the only person she knew and trusted here, and I refused to let him destroy that.
After looking into Annika’s mind, I understood what the wrath of a conduit mage could unleash, and one small avalanche ten years ago was nothing compared to what brewed inside her.
1. Increase the shield.
2. Forget what was done to you and release your grief.
3. Sleep!