Chapter 3
Beau
Heart crashing like a wrecking ball, I lead the little she-wolf across the crumbling parking lot. I stay two steps ahead of her, because if she was at my side, if I was able to see her at all right now, there’s no way I’d be able to do this.
But I prick up my ears, listen for every step of those delicate feet as she keeps pace behind me.
Every bone, every nerve in my body is singing.
Take her back home. She’s yours. My wolf’s big dumb heart pulses beneath my ribcage like a drumbeat. Its fur burns my skin and my jaws ache for release. It wants out, demands to take possession of me.
But the threat of darkness prickles and sickens me. I can’t go back to that place of rejection and madness.
Savannah is not mine.
There is no mine for a wolf like me.
I’ve been down that road before.
I had a pack once. An intended mate. She was in the pack next door—our friendly neighbors.
We grew up together, Kellie and I. In and out of each other’s homes. We were each other’s first everything: first slow dance, first kiss. Both of our packs expected us to end up together. To cement the bond between the two families. I would become Alpha of my pack and she would be queen.
As I was growing up, I was bursting with impatience. All I could think of was that day when we’d come of age and I’d make her mine. Give her my mark, and move into the roles that were waiting for us. I never even entertained the thought that there could be anyone else for either of us.
Then she chose another.
A wolf from a hostile pack, a lifelong enemy of mine.
I couldn’t blame her. Her wolf had made the choice, driven by the fates that had been mysteriously silent all of our short lives.
But it tore me apart. It was an agony I’d lacked the imagination to anticipate. I blamed my pack—all those people who’d spoken so confidently of our union, and had never hinted to my dumb, na?ve self that it might not be in my stars.
I went feral. I fought almost everyone; scared the hell out of everyone else, and just about destroyed my own pack in my rage and grief.
Then my wolf burst out of me and refused to go back in. After it attacked Kellie’s new mate in a bloody battle, there was no going back.
I had to leave.
I lost two years trapped in my wolf form. I used the last of my strength to force the beast into a vast wilderness and keep it there, and it ran wild among the trees, savage and desperate.
Little by little, I began to gain some control over it. To feel my human self rising to the surface again. Until one day, I caught it off-guard, exhausted and half-asleep, and I ripped out of it, and became a man again.
I shaped up. I snuck back to my pack and took some inheritance I was owed, and I went about setting myself up in the human world.
My one requirement: I couldn’t stay in one place for long.
I needed to be on the road, to keep my wolf active and distracted, so it wouldn’t go getting any ideas about hunting down a mate again.
I learned that humans value shifters for their superior senses and strength, and I carved out a career as a bounty hunter-slash-investigator.
And so, I’ve lived like this for these years. A lone wolf with alpha blood running in my veins, in my little motorhome, with my bike and my trailer, keeping the madness away.
The one thing I know is, now I’ve gotten myself back, broken away from the madness, there’s no way I’m going to give it up again.
Not even for purest soul, whose heart seems to beat in time with my own. Matched with the prettiest cherry lips and the curviest little body. Because it’s a package sweet enough to drive my wolf to destruction again.
Once you’ve stared into the abyss, there’s no way you’ll return to it by choice.
When we reach the crosswalk, I wait for Savannah to catch up. It’s rush hour—which doesn’t mean a lot in this little town, but my protective instinct has gone into overdrive. This is one last thing I can do for her.
She stops at my side and looks at me expectantly. It’s adorable the way she tilts her chin up to see me, because she’s so much shorter than me.
But when she flicks her long bangs out of her eyes, those glass green irises catch the light and they annihilate me all over again.
I’m dead. If I don’t get her out of my sight A-sap, my wolf will destroy me.
The pedestrian signal is showing red. “You know how to cross the street, right?” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “I haven’t spent all my life in the stone age, you know. My pack often goes to human markets to sell our goods. Used to have my own stall, actually.”
I can’t resist a smile. She’s got spirit. A fierce little flame in her chest that burns amid all her suffering.
I long to ask what kind of stall she had, but I don’t.
No more learning about her. No more wondering, stoking my interest. This ends right here.
“The bar’s just down here,” I say, gesturing to an alleyway. I came across it a couple of days ago while I was roaming around the town. I’m not antisocial by nature; I do like company sometimes.
Truth is, I yearn to share my life with another—
I cut that thought right off.
That way madness lies.
When you travel a lot, you get an instinct for the kinds of places that might welcome a lone wolf—or be a safe haven for a little she-wolf.
From the outside, Sinner’s Refuge looks kinda dilapidated—old red-brick walls, running to two stories.
Battered old balcony rail on the upper level, a barred window and a dark-red front door at street level.
Peeling paint, rust. Seen better days, but the kind of place that could feel like home—at least, I sure hope so.
I push open the front door and let Savannah through. She moves stiffly, and I see the tension in her shoulders, the bravery in the set of her jaw. I want to snatch her up in my arms, bring her right back to Bertha, and never let her go.
But I can’t. Can’t fall apart like that again.
Instead, I drag my eyes away from the flash of cleavage showing at the top of her—my—shirt.
The full curve of her ass as she passes in front of me.
Pretend my cock doesn’t swell every time my gaze alights on her sweet body.
She might be short, but she’s all woman.
Enough to get any werewolf’s mouth watering…
And right on cue, my wolf breaks out a snarl, ready to defend her from any other suitors.
Inside, the bar is wood paneled, cozy red benches around the edges of the room, battered tables and chairs in the center.
It’s still early and the only occupants are a skinny chick perched on a bar stool in the corner, and the bar owner, who’s behind the bar, arms folded on the counter.
Just like yesterday, she fixes me with a suspicious look, like she’s considering throwing me out on my ass.
Who was it who said they’d never join a club that would have them as a member?
Some smart ass, but I can’t fault the sentiment.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of showing a photo around.
I’m on the trail of a fugitive, but turns out doing that kind of thing around here is verboten.
Very fucking verboten, and likely to get the shit kicked out of you.
Not many people could kick my ass, but I wouldn’t put it past this tough old bear shifter to try.
She straightens herself up to her full height, which is good six inches shorter than me, frizzy brown hair sticking out around her head. Her eyes blaze with sternness. “Thought I told you—” she begins.
I raise my hands. “Not staying. Just brought someone with me.” I lay a hand on Savannah’s back. The warmth of her skin floods to my fingertips and I pull away sharply. Sheesh, this is some unearthly damned attraction. The sooner I get away, the better.
“This is Savannah. She’s new in town and she’s looking for work. Maybe a bed and board kind of arrangement. She’s real reliable. Strong. Hard-working.” I’m just guessing at these parts, but I get the sense Savannah is all those things and more.
When the bear shifter turns her golden eyes on Savannah, they stop blazing so hard, and she looks almost kind.
“You got any experience at bar work, hun?”
Savannah nods eagerly. “I’m a quick learner, too.”
The woman taps a finger against her lips, looks thoughtful. “Don’t think I’ve got any spare beds right now. We’re all full up.”
“Oh, I can sleep on the floor, anything,” Savannah says fast.
She shrugs. “If you don’t mind roughing it, I guess there’s plenty of floor space.”
Savannah gives a little gasp. “That mean I’ve got the job?”
She throws her arms wide. “Welcome to the team, hun. Can you start now?”
“Just a minute—” I butt in. “Where is this floor space?”
The woman blinks. “Upstairs.”
“Who are the other people in there?”
“There’s a girls’ dorm and a guys’ dorm.”
“But is it secure?”
“Yup. The door locks. Everyone has their own key.”
“Can I take a look?”
She rolls her eyes, but then she beckons me through the bar, and out the back to a set of stairs.
“Come, too,” I tell Savannah. “Check you’ll be happy here.”
She scuttles after me with a shy smile, her cheeks pink. “Thank you,” she whispers to me.
“Just need to make sure you’re safe,” I say gruffly, belying the rush of happiness that flooded my chest.
The bar owner shows us to a neat, eight-bed dorm, with an en suite bathroom, and a secure lock on the door. There’s a space by the window where Savannah can sleep. The bar owner says she might be able to dig out an air mattress or something.
“Okay?” She raises her eyebrows, like I’m the fussiest guy in the world.
I don’t care. Making sure Savannah has a safe place to stay is all I care about.
“Guess so,” I say. I don’t love the thought of Savannah staying there, but seems about the best option right now.
We all go back downstairs. And my heart plummets like the devil’s drop from heaven. Because Savannah doesn’t need me anymore. I’ve got no reason to hang around.
“Take care of her,” I tell the woman.
She rolls her eyes again, but I sense I can trust her. There’s a good heart under that cranky exterior.
“So long,” I say to Savannah and I give a casual wave, ignoring the urge to throw my arms around her.
She turns, her sweet face full of questions.
“I’m leaving town now.” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder. Dang. Don’t normally get awkward like that. “All the best for the future.”
She goes pale and her face crumples for the second time today. “You’re leaving? You didn’t tell me.”
“I’m always on the move, darlin’. Gotta earn my keep. Keep Bertha in gas.”
Her pink cherry lips work. “But—?” comes out in a choked gasp.
“Maybe we’ll cross paths again,” I bark out. Then I turn on my heel, so I don’t have to look at her again.
The door slams behind me and I’m back outside.
When I inhale, my breath comes in all ragged and broken. I start walking fast. The danger’s passed and I’m free.
But it doesn’t feel like that at all.
It feels like I’ve lost something I’ll miss forever.