Chapter 4
Savannah
Istare at the spot where Beau disappeared, long after he’s gone.
He was sure glad to be rid of me. I didn’t even get to thank him for all he’s done. The truth is, when he turned his back on me, a stab of loss robbed me of all my words.
It’s crazy. I’ve only known him for a few hours, but I have the weirdest feeling we’ve always known each other.
And now he’s gone.
I’m bursting to rush after him, beg him not to go. Get his contact details at the very least.
But I guess if he’d wanted me to have them, he would’ve given them to me.
I squirm as that moment in the RV hurtles back to me again. That dumb moment when I thought he liked me liked me. Thought he was going to kiss me.
But then he saw something he didn’t like at all and he pulled away.
It’s okay, I’m used to it.
Just wish it didn’t hurt even more than being rejected in public while buck naked.
“Come behind the bar, hun.” My new employer’s voice is softer now. She holds up the bar flap and lets me slip through.
“I’m Meredith. That little stick insect down the end of the bar is Elinor.”
The girl who’s been folded up on a bar stool looks up from her phone and salutes goofily.
Meredith shows me around—the glasses racks, the glass washer. The fridges, beer taps. House liquors, top shelf. I nod knowledgably. I wasn’t lying when I told her I had experience—I’ve worked my pack’s makeshift bar a ton. But this feels like a comfortable, friendly place.
Meredith holds a battered glass up to the light and examines it, frowning. “First rule of working at Sinner’s Refuge: don’t ask the customers any leading questions.”
“Leading?” I say.
She gives me a hard look. “Anything that puts a person the spot. Makes them uncomfortable. Not want to drink here.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“In return, folks won’t ask you anything that’ll make you feel uncomfortable. Lotsa wanted posters here. Folks turning up looking for their people. Not everyone wants to be found. Can cause a lot of trouble. Cops sniffing around and all.”
“No one’s looking for me,” I say quickly.
“Good,” she replies, but I hardly hear her, because another wave of grief is knocking me sideways.
For a few beautiful hours, Beau made me forget my pack. Showed me I could live again. But now that he’s gone, that loss—of everything I knew—opens up like a crater.
“Best keep busy.” Meredith is looking at me kindly. She squeezes my arm. “Whenever you’re ready, we’re listening, hun. Looks like you’ve been through a lot.”
I nod, because if I say anything at all right now, I might burst into tears.
It’s quiet for a couple of hours, then it gets busy at lunchtime.
Meredith’s sister turns up—a statuesque, gray-haired lady—and she and Meredith get to work in the kitchen, while Elinor and I work the bar.
Elinor is a whirlwind, darting from table to table, taking orders at a hectic pace, sneaking up behind me to crack jokes and observations about the customers.
She’s some kind of shifter but I don’t know what.
Her animal scent is weak, like mine, maybe.
She’s very skinny, with protruding, wide-set eyes, and a small mouth.
She has a bunch of piercings, and her hair is long and glossy black.
She reminds me of some kind of bird. A raven or a magpie.
I don’t know anything about other species. Maybe it’s not polite to ask.
After the lunchtime rush is over, it gets real quiet again, and Meredith emerges from the kitchen with a huge leather purse slung over her shoulder.
“I’m heading out for a while,” she says. “Think you girls can hold the fort?”
“Well, I don’t know.” Elinor bites her lip and her googly eyes shoot around the almost-deserted room.
“Don’t get smart, Elinor,” Meredith says wearily. “I want you to set a good example for my newest employee.”
“Course, boss.” Elinor offers her goofy salute again and Meredith stomps out, sighing.
“She likes to act like a ball-breaker, but she has a real warm heart underneath,” Elinor says as soon as the front door has slammed shut.
“Compared to my pack, she’s an angel,” I say.
Elinor pauses in her task of polishing wine glasses. “You had a pack?”
“Yup.” I yank open the dishwasher and pull out a rack of steaming glasses, needing to keep my hands busy. “I was, but I kind of got rejected, by my intended. Then, things got weird.”
She bites her lip and tilts her head to look at me sideways.
Definitely a bird shifter.
“That’s so rough,” she says. “I never had my own flock. I got rejected when I was still a baby. Kicked out of the nest…figuratively speaking,” she adds, when I look shocked.
“Got raised by some humans for a while, but it didn’t work out,” she continues. “And I worked my way over here. Heard this was a place where people didn’t mock you for your differences.”
“It’s cool you found it,” I say. I start to ask her something else, then I break off. It’s kind of tricky not being able to ask all the questions that are bouncing around in my head.
“You can ask standard questions,” she says, as if she’s read my mind. “But nothing too, personal, you know.”
“Like?” I ask.
“Like—” She casts her eyes up to the ceiling. “Like I should definitely not ask you who that guy was who brought you here.”
“That guy—” I murmur. And the force of Beau’s presence hits me like a bullet train.
How to explain what Beau was to me? A river god, who found me under the bridge and dragged me out of the mud. Breathed life back into me. Lit me up inside for the very first time in my life.
“He’s sweet on you,” Elinor interrupts my thoughts.
Heat floods me, and I can tell I’m blushing all the way to the roots of my hair. Crap. I hate it when that happens. “No, he’s not,” I say firmly. Quite the opposite, in fact. He couldn’t wait to get away from me.
“He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
My breath catches in my chest.
But that couldn’t be true.
He wouldn’t have left if it was.
“Well, he’s gone now. That’s the last I’ll see of him.”
Elinor gives me a sly look, like a magpie that has caught up something shiny in its beak. “Don’t count on it.”
“You live here, too?” I ask, eager to change the subject.
“Yeah, along with… seven other girls.” She counts on her fingers. “Meredith looks after us. She doesn’t have any cubs of her own, and we’re like her kids. A bunch of rejects. I call us the Jects.” She does a silly dance. “The Jects of Perdue Town. P-Town!” she finishes triumphantly.
I wrinkle my nose.
She throws her hands up. “P-Town…like Chi-Town, ya know?”
“Nah, doesn’t have the same ring to it.” I grin, shake my head at her dorkiness. It’s just what I need to take my mind off Beau.
The door clangs open and a couple of guys amble in. They’re both big all over, but especially in the shoulders. Pale blond hair, light blue eyes. They could be brothers. Some type of bear shifters, I think.
Elinor makes a cawing sound of dismay. “Crap, those two are assholes,” she mutters. “Meredith usually gets rid of them.”
“Ladies.” Both guys clump to the bar, plonk their elbows and upper bodies down on the counter and survey the beer taps.
The taller one leers at Elinor. “What’s up, Skinny Minnie?”
“I told you not to call me that,” she snaps.
He gives her a slow smile, full of insolence. “And who’s your sexy friend?”
I’m touched when Elinor steps in front of me. She’s no match for two bears, but I admire her fierceness.
“She’s not here to be spoken to like that.” She plants her hands on her bony hips. “Now, either you order a drink or you get the hell out of here!”
The other one sucks his teeth. “No need to be so snippy, Skinny Minnie.”
I pray for them to leave. Something weird is going on inside me. Their presence is making me all riled up and shaky, and my skin won’t quit burning.
But they order a couple of beers. And when they’ve paid, they don’t take a table, but continue to hang over the bar.
“It’s seating in here, only,” Elinor says. She’s chopping up limes so fast her knife is a blur.
“Is that right?” The taller of the two guys continues to gawk at me.
I want to untie my shirt, so it hangs loose on me, but I can’t bring myself to undo Beau’s handiwork.
“Tell me your name, hot stuff.”
“Not relevant,” I snap.
He slides his meaty hands across the bar top so they’re dangling over my side. “Oh, nothing could be more relevant right now, baby. Aren’t you a juicy little treat?”
There’s strange growling sound at the back of my throat, which I swear I didn’t make myself.
Unfortunately, meathead number one pricks up his ears. “Oh, Feisty. Love a bit of a fight in a chick.” He snaps his teeth together.
Elinor slinks up behind me. “Meredith should be back any time now,” she mutters.
Then her voice turns ear-splitting as she yells, “You need to leave, right now!”
“Fuck!” Meathead number one jams his fingers in his ears. “You could deafen a person, you know that?” He raises his beer glass and chugs the whole thing down. “I’ll leave when I’m done, birdbrain.” He slams the empty glass down on the counter. “Gimme another.”
“You’re barred. Get the hell out of here!” Elinor jabs a skinny arm toward the door. I glance at this tiny, brave girl in admiration. This beast could snap her with his little finger, but she’s not backing down.
“Or what?” His eyes are small and mean, whites turned pink. He’s already drunk; I smell the alcohol coming off him in waves.
Instinctively, I gather Elinor up behind me, and I back away, toward the door that leads to the kitchen.
He lifts his head and sniffs hard, and a look of delight crosses his face. “Aw, don’t run away, little wolf. You know how much a big old bear loves a chase.”
He steps back, gathers himself, and leaps. His huge bulk crash-lands on top of the bar. He lands clumsily, hunched up on all fours, scattering glasses and napkins in all directions.