Chapter 10
Elinor
It hasn’t gotten dark yet, and I’m driving back to JC’s.
Someone called Sinner’s this morning, asking about the bartending job.
A friend of Blake’s. He’s got an awesome resumé, and he came right over and did a test shift.
Meredith likes him. Well, likes him well enough, anyway. She doesn’t trust people quickly.
Then she chased me out of the bar and told me to go get my career started.
So now I’m heading back to Blake, to work for him full time.
My body is at war. Excitement is pricking in my chest, while my stomach is a knot of nerves. I’m scared I’m doing something bad to myself.
Ever since I’ve been an adult, and I’ve worked on my mental health, I always question whether a certain action is going to make me happier, or damage me. And right now, I can’t for the life of me figure out which it is.
I mean, if I want to help Carolyn out, I don’t have any choice.
Blake is offering me good money. Real good money.
And working in music management is what I want to do for a living.
I’ve loved my job at Sinner’s, but mainly because I love working for Meredith.
My real passions have been elsewhere. But being around Blake all the time—
Well, it’s a lot. Yesterday, I wanted him to take my virginity so bad. I was so ready for it. And I don’t regret it one bit. It was better than I even imagined. I knew sex with him would be super-hot. But I didn’t realize he’d also be so considerate, so focused on my pleasure. And now—
Now, my crow won’t quit telling me I need his mark.
But I can’t. I can’t go down that road. It’s too dangerous.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him.
I’m scared that being with him will keep me locked in my past—after everything I’ve done to escape it.
What if, the more I open myself to him, the more danger I’m putting myself in?
What if he’s only playing me, making me his conquest?
I’ve got a good life now. I’ve even made peace with the fact I might never find my mate. Not every shifter does. Am I willing to destroy everything I’ve built for the chance of happiness with my old bully?
It’s not that I can’t forgive him. I’ve done that already. He suffered, too. I see he’s not the same man anymore. I’m just scared that my soul will wither if I don’t keep my past firmly in the past.
When I pull up in the parking lot, he’s already there. Standing in the doorway of the venue. And before I can even climb out of the car, he’s yanking the door open.
“You came back.” He surprises me with a hug.
My head is so full of conflicted thoughts, I back away from him. Confusion and hurt flash in his features, but they’re gone fast.
“Meredith has hired the guy you recommended,” I tell him. “So, I’m gonna be working here full time.”
“That’s great,” he says, and he looks at me like he’s drinking me in.
At the sight of him, my nipples are tingling, and so is that little spot between my thighs. Luckily, I’m wearing a bra today, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about wet panties. Or the fact that my pussy is still a little sore from his cock taking my virginity.
“Today, I thought we could look at the next month’s calendar and discuss which bands we can get to play?” he says.
Relief rushes through me. He’s being business-like. Good. That’s all I can deal with right now.
Inside, we sit down at one of the bar tables. Blake suggested going to the office, but I’ve always liked to be in the midst of things. Seems weird to plan music in a dull office environment.
Adrenaline is fizzing in my veins, and I remember that this is what I totally love to do.
The hours fly by. Blake tells me to order whatever I want from the kitchen when I’m hungry, and we have beef enchiladas.
They’re real good. I eat fast, as always, and I really like the way he doesn’t comment on my appetite.
Human guys are always surprised at how much I eat.
It takes a lot of calories to keep a hectic birdie like me going all day.
It’s fun working with Blake. We seem to have a lot of the same opinions on things, and he listens attentively to all my suggestions.
Meanwhile, I’m doing my best not to notice how sexy he looks in an old blue band T-shirt.
It’s got a bunch of rips in it, and he’s apologized for it already.
Said it’s probably time to throw it out, but it’s his favorite.
But I’m not complaining, because the rips reveal swatches of his velvety, tanned skin.
I like the way he looks when he’s concentrating on something, all serious and intense.
Hands shoved into his hair, shuffling papers around impatiently.
We’re a good team, I think, and I catch myself.
Because my silly bird brain was already spilling ahead, imagining us living together.
Making joint decisions about how to feather our nest.
Finally, at nine p.m.,. Blake calls time on our session.
“But there’s so much more to do,” I protest.
“We did a lot of work today,” he says. “We’ve got to pace ourselves. This is just the beginning.” He leans back in the chair and stretches, and my eyes zero in on his huge pics rippling beneath his thin T-shirt.
He straightens up again and I see him noticing my attentions. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day.” His voice is rough, growly, and just like that, the bomb detonates.
In a flash, he’s gone from employer, to the guy who mated me yesterday and took my virginity. I can’t breathe.
“Tell me you feel the same,” he says when I don’t answer.
“I was too busy to think about sex,” I manage to say.
A grin spreads across his face. “Liar. I’ve been picking up your scent all night long. I know exactly what you’re thinking about right now.”
“You have no idea, Blake Waldgrave,” I snap.
“Fine, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about.” He jerks forward in his seat, leans across the table.
“I’m thinking about peeling all those little clothes off. One by one, until you’re all bared to me. Then driving you crazy with my mouth. Licking your little pussy until you’re begging me to take you again.”
Desire rolls through me, and my pussy begins to ache.
“Not at all. You’re dead wrong.”
He crooks an eyebrow. “Fine then. You’re thinking about my big, thick cock entering you again.
How it’s gonna feel sliding in and out of you.
” A little growl escapes his throat and his pale irises are glowing.
“I want to take you in every single position, little birdie. I want to take you so hard and deep, you can’t think about anything else. ”
I lean closer, too, until our lips are only inches apart. “And what if I told you that last night was a one-off? Maybe I just decided it was time to lose my virginity with a sexy guy? And now I want to keep things purely business?”
His nostrils flare. “I’ll respect that. I won’t pretend I wouldn’t spend every spare minute jerking off and thinking about you, Elinor. But I can wait for you. You’re my mate and I’ll wait the rest of my life if I have to. My wolf has chosen you, and that means there’ll be no other.”
My mouth falls open. “You really mean that?”
“You’re mine, Elinor.”
I close my eyes. Mine, my bird is repeating inside me. Mate.
“I’m going to stay tonight,” I tell him. “But that doesn’t mean anything.”
He gives a deep nod. “I understand,” he says, but his words are belied by the glitter in his eyes.
“I’ll just go get my overnight bag from the car.” I leap to my feet and dash outside, desperate to break the tension between us.
It’s cold. It must’ve dropped fifteen degrees since I arrived, and the frigid air is like a slap in the face.
But it does nothing to dampen my arousal.
All these years I’ve lived without desire.
My body dormant, while all my friends find their mates, and talk about their sex lives, and how great it all is.
And here I am, with Blake Waldgrave acting like he can’t get enough of me.
Would it be so bad to have sex with him until I figure out what I want?
I grab my bag from the trunk of my car.
Yes, it would. Because it changes everything—and I know it.
That resolution lasts as long as it takes me to walk up the stairs and dump my bag on the bed.
“Elinor,” Blake says softly from behind me. I turn, and he’s right there. His huge, muscular presence filling my field of vision. I zero in on the bulge of his cock as it strains against his zipper, while his eyes rake over me from head to foot. My whole body is on fire with want for him.
“Want me to leave you?” he asks.
I shake my head.
In another second, I’m up in his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist while he presses me against the bedroom door, kissing me roughly. “I’m going to fuck you again,” he growls in my ear. “You want that?”
“Uh huh,” I manage to say.
“Tell me,” he insists. His cock is rubbing against my pussy. Driving me crazy.
“I want you inside me, so bad.”
He gives a growl of satisfaction and lets me slide down to the ground.
We tear at each other’s clothes before we fall, half-naked, onto the bed. He strips off my panties and spreads me again, examining my most private parts. “Beautiful,” he murmurs. “Are you sore from yesterday, little one?”
“A little,” I admit.
He strokes me gently with his fingers, chafing my clit, making me squirm with embarrassment and pleasure mixed together.
When he slides a finger inside me, I gasp.
So much smaller than his cock, but I’m as sensitive as hell.
He slides it in and out, curling into me, seeking out the most sensitive spots on my insides.
He adds a second finger and starts to pump, watching the whole time, as his fingers slide in and out of me.
Fuck, this feels good. “I want—” I gasp out.
At the same time, I reach for him. His zipper is close.
I unfasten it and his cock springs out. When I wrap my hand around it, he hisses between his teeth.
Gently, experimentally, I run my hand up and down it.
I’ve never seen a cock up close before, and I’m fascinated by the size and weight of it. By the precum leaking out of the head.
“Want to taste you,” I murmur.
“Elinor—” It sounds like a warning, but before he has time to stop me, I shuffle across the bed and lick the tip of his cock.
It’s salty, sweet, and I know right away, I want it deep in my mouth.
I open wider, and start to take him in. He gives a groan of pure pleasure, which vibrates all the way through me.
“Elinor,” he mutters my name again and again, while I slide my lips up and down his shaft. He’s not easy to take, but I want to make him feel good, like he’s making me feel. He starts to move his hips a little bit, back and forth. He’s thrusting into my mouth. I love the sensation.
Then he scoots along the bed, and he’s licking me, too. Wow.
The two of us, pleasuring each other with our mouths. And he’s so good with his tongue, circling it around my aching clit. Already I’m starting to tremble. It builds, faster and faster, and suddenly, I explode, right in his mouth. His cock between my lips.
I wonder if he’s going to come in my mouth, too. But he pulls out, turns me onto my back, and gently penetrates my wet, throbbing pussy.
He goes slow at first, but when I start to cling to him, crying out for him to go deeper, I feel him let go. And I come. All over his cock. Again and again, while he plows into me.
“Mine,” his beast growls in my ear, over and over. I don’t even know if he’s aware of it, but with every thrust, I feel like I’m his.
How on earth am I going to keep my heart safe when he fucks me like this?