Chapter 23 Velra
~Velra~
“You felt my distress through our Soul Brand?”
I stilled on gathering wipes and towels in the ensuite bathroom of my dorm.
Not just at the way his voice rolled through me, but the worry in his question, how much he seemed to hate that it could be the truth of the matter.
“No,” I ground out, clenching my fingers around the hand towel. “Which means you’re muting yourself, stopping me from feeling anything from you. Because you were most definitely in distress when I showed up.”
Instead of speaking to that, he did what he’d taken to doing all the fucking time and circumvented the issue, asking instead, “How did you know to come to that specific spot at that key time, then?”
“I spelled Sylas with a Nexus Band. Well, a Nexus ring. I felt his suffering as he used a mass amount of his power to do damage to you, an Immortal being.”
He was silent for several moments.
“Does he know?” he finally asked.
“I’m sure he does now. The glamor would have petered in and out during his physical distress as the band communicated it to me.
” I sighed. “Something happened the other night that I can’t allow to happen again.
For his safety and Lazriel’s peace of mind and sanity.
” All right, and mine. Big time. I didn’t ever want to walk into a situation like I had that night again. So I’d taken precautions.
And yet I’d walked into this just moments ago—Cassius in pain and harmed.
Clutching the box of medical wipes and the hand towel, I pushed out of the bathroom.
I walked back into my main dorm room area, finding him standing rigidly against the wall beside the arched window, panting, his eyes unfocused, clearly struggling.
“Sit down. You lost a lot of blood.”
He went to ease my chair from my desk, fumbling with it in his current state.
I released an exasperated sigh and gestured at my bed. “Just sit down there. Don’t worry, you won’t get infected with my cooties or anything.”
As he started over there lethargically, he queried, “Cooties?”
My lips quirked, despite my current mood and my current stance where he was concerned—him and all his bullshit.
“My essence,” I told him. “My pull over you. Or whatever the hell you’re so afraid of when it comes to connecting with me.”
He sighed and slumped down on the bed heavily.
He didn’t speak to it, assuring me instead, “I just need a few moments.”
“You’ll need more than that. Lazriel was ravenous and he almost drained you dry. It’s bad enough what Celestial blood does to vampires, but it was compounded by the fact that Lazriel doesn’t feed from the vein, so he’s not even accustomed to the act itself at a basic level.”
Hell, this was going to shake him in a major way. He chose not to feed from the vein, but that decision had been ripped from him the moment Immortal blood had hit the air right in front of him.
I sat down on the bed beside Cassius and he tensed right up.
“Velra, I don’t think—”
I pressed the hand towel to the side of his neck, the wound still bleeding profusely, because Lazriel had, indeed, almost drained him dry, so he was very weak right now, his healing factor barely able to kick in.
It was working just enough to prevent him from going into severe shock.
Actually mending the wound—or wounds, considering Sylas had also inflicted a brutally deep one across the entire expanse of his upper torso—was a step too far currently.
“We need to keep the pressure on. You can’t afford to lose any more blood.”
“I will be fine.”
“You won’t. Unless you actually listen for once and let me help you.”
“As you wish,” he murmured, letting me hold the towel there.
With my free hand, I pulled out some of the wipes, then started removing some of the drying blood from the underside of his neck, across the chest wound.
He didn’t even flinch even as the wipe glided across the deep gash itself.
It had my gut twisting, as I knew it was because he’d endured so much pain that his tolerance was another level now.
“Cornelius called me this morning. He just found out that it was you who’d filled the position of Guest Lecturer for the Celestial course.”
“He wanted to warn you.”
“He wanted to prepare me.”
He eyed me curiously. “Is that what you believe I should have done for you?”
“Do you not think so?”
“I don’t know. It had become apparent that you needed my assistance, so I facilitated a way for that to come to pass, for me to be near without infringing too much on your space. I knew you hadn’t signed up to take this class so I thought it would be ideal.”
The realization hit me. “Sylas and Lazriel came to you? On my behalf?”
“Lazriel.”
“When?”
“Many days ago now. It took some time for me to put things in place.”
And to get over himself, no doubt, when it came to his hangups concerning me.
So it had been before the developments between Lazriel and me, and recently, between Sylas, Lazriel, and me.
When I’d been struggling with my magic, when it had been interfering and causing issues to my connection with them both.
On the surface, it could be taken as Lazriel going behind my back. But I could see beyond that, I knew better than that. I knew him better than that.
Besides, for him to actually go to Cassius, it was a hell of a thing. He’d swallowed his pride to do that. All to try to help me. All because he’d wanted better for me.
“I’m doing better with it all now.”
“You demonstrated that to some extent earlier. You wielded impressive control of your shadow magic even in the heart of a highly charged and dangerous situation.”
“Exactly. So, as you can see, it’s coming along nicely. I’m even using it for fun, as a creative exercise, thanks to a suggestion from one of my professors, and it’s really helped.”
“And Sylas can counter, play with, and fuse your power with his, while Lazriel relishes your bursts of magical aggression during coitus as he enjoys pain with his pleasure. Especially from you.”
I jolted at his words.
That was intimately detailed. Far too detailed and spot on.
There was no way that the boys would have told him about that. Lazriel was far too possessive and protective over our sex life to speak a word to anyone about it. And Sylas knew that I didn’t like public displays of affection, so he wouldn’t mention it either.
“How do you—”
“I can feel it through the Soul Brand.”
“You can… oh. You mean, the actual—”
“Yes,” he ground out.
“That’s… disturbing.”
“And now you see why I’ve kept my distance. It’s invasive. It’s a violation, is it not?”
“You keeping your distance hasn’t stopped you from feeling any of that, so how does it help at all?”
“It helps because you weren’t aware of it, you didn’t have to feel any of that. You were free of it, of me and the influence of the Soul Brand.”
“I wasn’t helping, Cassius. You were still feeling all of that from me and it’s arguably more disconcerting that I wasn’t made aware of it, that you kept me in the dark about what you were experiencing from me without my knowledge.”
“But now that you are aware, won’t that impact your lovemaking with the wolf hybrid and necromancer? Won’t it take away the freedom of it for you?”
Hold up. “Is that why you finally told me? So that would happen? That it would stop me from being with them in that respect?”
“I told you in order to demonstrate how much I can feel through our tether so that you’re able to understand how I can actually assist you.”
I arched an eyebrow. “And?”
“And?” he echoed.
Jeez. “Is that really the only reason?”
He sighed, his eyes flickering to mine briefly, before he looked away with a sheepish expression I hadn’t thought possible from him.
“Truly, it has bothered me. Feeling the two of them growing closer to you. Not just sexually, but via true intimacy beyond the scope of physical pleasure. I suppose it could be referred to as jealousy. However, I do want you to live your life, to experience things you’d been unable to for so long due to being forced into hiding by your enemies.
But yet here I am also… resenting it, I suppose.
” He shoved his hand through his hair. “This contradiction vexes me greatly.”
I smiled. “It seems like you could also do with my assistance.”
He stared at me for a moment.
And then a weak chuckle escaped him. “That does seem to be the case.”
“Teach me how to mute what you feel through the Soul Brand from me so you don’t have to experience any of that going forward.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t? Aren’t you teacher extraordinaire?
First with your mentorship with Ariana when you were schooling her in the ways of a True Celestial?
With Ketheron as well, teaching him how to acclimate to his new life as a free agent, as I’ve heard about from Nyx.
And now you taking on a literal teaching role here at the Academy. ”
“It’s nice that you hold my skills in such high regard.
However, I do not know all. As we’ve just determined, I do fall short in…
personal areas. But, regarding the Soul Brand, there is no magic to mute it.
The reason you do not feel much from me—and only extreme instances of distress—is because I ensure I do not experience much at all. ”
I stilled. “Excuse me? Are you telling me that you force yourself not to feel anything in order to shield me?”
“Yes. Of course.”
I shook my head as I finished with the wipes, then placed them down on the nightstand. “That’s deeply unhealthy. It’s honestly toxic and completely unsustainable. Cassius, it’s the opposite of living.”
“It is not me who needs to live and explore. I have existed for centuries. You are young and new, still finding your way and your path.”