~Chapter 12~
When I got home, Sergio woke me up to go inside the house.
After helping me up the stairs, he went to his room and I went to mine.
I changed into something comfortable — some loose pajama pants and nothing else.
I felt terrible and was about to vomit. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom just to be careful — I wasn’t planning on making a mess in the room.
I vomited. You really needed that drink, I thought, collapsing on the bathroom tiles because I didn’t have the strength.
Minutes later, I got up and went straight back to bed, wrapping myself up to my head.
I wasn’t going to disturb Mom while she was at work; I could hold out a few more hours.
Surely I’d feel better by then. I stopped thinking, feeling my eyelids getting heavier and sleep taking over.
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“Cassian, wake up.”
“CASSIAN.”
I hear a voice but I’m not sure what it’s saying or who it is. I try with all my strength to open my eyes, but it’s useless — they’re too crusted over.
“Cassian, you have a fever. Why didn’t you call?
” says what I think is Mom, worried. “Don’t keep the blanket on you, you definitely have more than 40 degrees fever.
” She pulls the blanket off me, looks at me, and I look back at her.
Don’t ask anything, please, I think, hoping the dream comes true.
She doesn’t say anything. I’m really happy about that.
“I don’t think I have anything at home for a fever.
I’ll go to the hospital to get something and come back as fast as I can,” she says and then leaves.
“Sergio, stay with your brother so he doesn’t fall asleep again.
If not for him, do it for me.” I hadn’t noticed Sergio standing by the door, but he apparently was there.
He nods and comes to lie down on the bed next to me.
He looks at me curiously, and I expect him to tease me, but he doesn’t.
“Cassian,” he says seriously. I turn to him and he continues, “Do you know how much you drank last night?” I nod.
“Then now we know what happened. Whoever did this really took advantage of you,” he gestures for me to move back a little and continues, “…a lot.” I giggle, thinking he really believes that.
He looks puzzled at me and I say,
“And my ass hurts a lot too,” I say, laughing a bit louder.
Seeing I’m so crazy, Sergio starts laughing too, probably so I don’t feel bad.
“And… who did it with you?” he asks, the atmosphere so tense you could cut it with scissors.
“Uh…” I think about whether to tell him or not, but eventually, I choose to.
The damage is already done. “I don’t even know, but it seems that when I woke up, there were two in the bed — one dark-haired with blue eyes, and the other a very dark brown with eyes like gold,” I say, trying to remember how the hell I ended up in that situation.
I don’t even realize tears are streaming down my face.
“Hey… why are you crying?” Sergio says, wiping away the tears flowing without my knowledge.
So vulnerable, I whisper.
“It’s not that I don’t like it, but I don’t need another problem in my head; I’m barely managing everything around me,” I say between sighs and pauses.
“Why can’t I feel anymore? The feeling I longed for…
” I add, feeling my heart block and my breathing getting harder.
He looks at me, unsure what to do, and brings me to his abdomen, starting to stroke my head.
“Why did you seem so scared at that house? You wanted to leave and seemed so tense,” he adds after I calm down and pull myself out of his hold.
He freezes at my words but sighs, knowing I’ll find out anyway if he doesn’t tell me.
“It seems we share the same fate, but mine is much smaller than yours,” he says, looking at his hands and playing with one of my rings I took from the nightstand.
“And I saw something… weird, if that’s the right word.
” I look at him, not understanding what he means, ready to ask, but he continues.
“Is it wrong to have sex with a boy even if you’ve liked girls all your life?
” He looks at me, waiting for a response, as I have a lot of experience.
“Well, I can’t tell you much because you haven’t reached the point where you also feel…
” I start, but he continues.
“Yes, you can,” he says, looking at his hands again.
“Then I can’t say anything,” I say nonchalantly.
He looks at me logically, expecting something like “that’s not okay” or “you’re crazy,” but I’m not going to say that.
“Look, Sergio, people can change really fast. I can be an example — before the army, I spent a lot of time with friends, but after, I’m not like before.
I’m cold and barely want to see my friends.
But this isn’t about me; it’s about you,” I say, taking a small pause.
“You need to realize that, and if from now on you decide that boys or girls are your number one priority, I respect your decision.” I look at him, and it seems a tiny smile curls at the corner of his mouth.
“Thanks, man…” he says.
“Isn’t Mom coming?
How long until she’s back from the hospital?
” I ask him, since he surely knows.
“She didn’t go to the hospital…
an emergency came up at work, and she went there,” he says, annoyed.
I look at him and add, “I thought she said it didn’t matter if she was at work; I could just call her if I needed. ”
“Anyway, eat a little so I can give you some medicine Mom left for you,” Sergio says.
I agree and get out of bed. The first few seconds I wobble but then regain balance.
“Oh, and put something on, Dad doesn’t like it when you’re such a troublemaker — quote,” he says.
I nod, ignoring what Dad said, and grab a shirt from the floor and put it on.
I go down to the kitchen and head straight for the fridge to get a glass of water, as I’m dying of thirst. I see Sergio preparing some food, so I sit at the table and wait for him to bring it to me, giggling at the thought.
“If you expect me to do this all day, forget it,” he says, placing my plate on the table and going to eat his own.
While eating, we chat about random things, like hearing two kids are transferring to our class and the girls are crazy about them.
After eating what was left, I go to wash my plate and go back to my room.
I remember my phone and the messages I’d received and open the messaging app.
I wasn’t completely there in my head when I decided to look at them — most were from Emy saying Sergio climbed on the table singing some music.
“Things got reversed, idiot,” I say quietly.
I laugh seeing him in such a memorable pose, even though I don’t remember a thing, absolutely nothing.
I go through the hundred messages and decide to check the photos.
I’m surprised to find a picture of me and those boys.
At least it wasn’t the photo of the… thing, even though I’d wanted it.
It seems I was dead asleep, one of them had his head on my stomach, and the other was right next to my face, smiling like kids receiving Christmas presents, but this happened much earlier.
I quickly get out of bed and go straight to Sergio’s room to show him this crazy picture.
I burst in and shout, “SERGIO! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” He looks at me curiously as I throw myself on his bed to show the photo.
I hand him the phone; he looks at the photo, then at me, then back at the photo, and back at me, saying,
“You’re kidding?
!” He says seriously, but with a suspicious smile.
I shake my head no, and he says,
“Cassian, these are the Voss brothers.
From what I remember yesterday, They are the ones who threw the party" he says, and I look at him puzzled, wondering how he knows. “Well done, bro, you hit the jackpot,” he adds.
“How does he know that?” I ask, suspecting something.
“Well, answer to your question: he said something about you last night, but I don’t remember exactly,” he says, hoping I understand.
The only thing I can think of is that I drank too much, and my brother, a big competitor at drinking, remembers most things.
Now thinking of the other problem, I look at him astonished and he looks at me with a big grin.
I say,
“You’re lying?”
“No.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, So if you don't believe me, wait for something after the school holidays. ,” he says, starting to laugh loudly.
“Go to hell, idiot!” I shout, and he bursts out laughing so hard he almost cries.
“Okay, okay,” he says, “after the break, at school, I’ll bring a note that says ‘I was joking’ after they enter our class.” We both laugh, the tension breaking — we don’t solve anything, but at least he lets me sleep in peace…
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