~Chapter 13~
Monday morning wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t too bad either. What I didn’t like was being woken up so early.
I woke up when I heard my phone vibrating again, so I answered and held it to my ear.
“Hello, Cassian, can you hear me?” Theo said, and I could hear Emy in the background.
“Yeah… what is it?” I said, my eyes still heavy with sleep.
“Pack your suitcase, we’re leaving for Spain in 4 hours,” Emy said loudly.
My eyes snapped open instantly, and I was a little dazed.
“Wait, what? Why?” I asked.
“I told you we had plans for Monday. Don’t you remember?
” she said. I muttered quietly to myself that yes, I did.
“So change and have your suitcase ready by 10. I’ll pick you up at 9:30.
Get ready and tell Sergio to be ready by 9; he already knows.
”
“Okay,” I said, and the call ended.
I got out of bed with difficulty and went to take a shower and brush my teeth. Then I had to call Theo again because I didn’t know how many clothes to bring or for how many days. I found out we’d be there until Friday — so five days.
Sergio came by around 7:10 to my room. He stood in the doorway and asked,
“Have you talked to your friends?”
“Yeah, for five days, if you’re asking,” I said.
“Thanks,” he said, and left my room quickly.
I finished packing my suitcase and chose what to wear today: some fairly loose black pants with a belt, a brown t-shirt, and black Nike sneakers. I added a new gold necklace and put on my watch. I glanced at the clock and saw it was already 9, so I went to Sergio’s room.
“It’s 9 already. Are you done soon?” I asked.
He appeared shortly after,
“A little. Just need to find my glasses and grab my bag from the closet,” he said, spritzing on some perfume.
I went into the room, grabbed his bag, and brought it downstairs to save time.
I went back upstairs to grab my card, phone, and other documents, just in case we needed them.
Sergio appeared downstairs just as Theo arrived at the gate with a fairly spacious black van. He got out and took our bags, loading them into the trunk. I got in the back where Emy was, and Theo and Sergio sat a row ahead.
“Where are you going?” Mr. Rossi, Theo’s father, asked, presumably at the wheel.
“We’re going to Spain, Dad. Don’t miss me,” Theo said, laughing with him.
They got along way too well — almost too perfect.
I don’t know why, but I felt like rolling my eyes.
Maybe because I’d never been that close to my parents. Or maybe it just seemed fake.
I watched them joke, while I stayed in the back, between Emy and the window.
I looked outside, as if the road was more interesting than everything happening in the front.
“Are you sleepy already?” Emy asked, giving me a little nudge.
“No. I’m just… looking,” I replied shortly, unenthusiastic.
Theo turned halfway toward me, still smiling.
“Look at your face, Cassian. It’s like we’re going to a funeral, not a vacation,” he said teasingly, in the same tone as Sergio used before.
I tried to smile, but it didn’t come.
“Maybe it’s a vacation for you. I’m just letting myself go,” I said quietly.
He laughed again, but this time I didn’t care.
I put my headphones on and turned the volume up.
I looked out the window, and my thoughts began to swirl together.
Theo and his father kept talking — about places, people, anything.
I stayed silent.
Maybe because I had nothing to say.
Or maybe deep down, I wished I could laugh like that with someone.
---
The engine hummed gently, the vibrations felt all the way through the back of the van.
I leaned back and watched as we approached the airport.
“Alright, now we’re really leaving,” Theo said excitedly and turned on the music.
Emy was already humming along, and Sergio secretly filmed him, probably for stories.
I just pulled my hoodie over my head and rested my forehead against the window.
The scenery rushed past, but my mind stayed stuck in the same place — at home.
Mom. Dad. Everything I’d never said.
Theo reached back and ruffled my hair, smiling.
“Come on, Cass, don’t be grumpy. We have five days to be carefree and close like before.
Don’t you want to start that way?”
I looked at his reflection in the window.
He smiled wide, genuinely.
And for a moment, it annoyed me how easily he could be happy.
“Maybe I’m not like you, Theo.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, slightly surprised.
“I can’t just laugh to fill the silence. ”
He looked at me but didn’t say anything. He just turned his gaze back to the road.
Emy sighed and put her hand over mine, a gesture of calm.
“Leave him be, he’ll get over it. He’s just tired.”
I wanted to believe that too. But this kind of tiredness doesn’t go away with sleep.
In the background, The Weeknd’s voice filled the space between us.
The sunlight shifted, and the shadows in the van became less defined.
The road felt long but also short. Maybe too long for the silences pressing on us.
“Alright kids, we’ve arrived,” Theo’s father said, and the next second we were all outside.
“I’m going to miss Italy so much,” Emy said sadly.
“Don’t worry, in Spain there are beautiful boys and girls — something for all of us,” I said loudly so Sergio could hear, and I was surprised to hear Mr. Rossi laugh too.
After saying goodbye to Theo’s dad, we headed inside. To be honest, I was a little excited about all of this.
---
We boarded the plane more than an hour after leaving the van. Luckily, the plane had a 4x2 seating arrangement, so Emy, Theo, Sergio, and I were all on the same row in the first few seats. It wasn’t first class, but it wasn’t the worst either — middle, which I was fine with.
We had been flying for a while when Sergio interrupted me from the background I’d been watching for an hour.
“Still grumpy?” he asked, smiling.
“Better, I think,” I said, laughing as I turned back to the window.
“Excited?” he asked.
“Not really, Sergio,” I said, and he waited for me to add why…
I didn’t know… it wouldn’t help right now.
“What does that mean, Cassian?” he asked, a little annoyed.
“I mean… it’s too late, Sergio. I’ve always had to handle things on my own, and I’ve been stuck between dreams and reality,” I said quietly so the others wouldn’t hear — but I was wrong; Theo was already looking at me with an apologetic face.
Sergio said nothing more, and I put my headphones back on while I waited.
Not long after, silence returned in the plane.
Only the engine and the wind hitting the windows seemed alive.
I continued staring outside, watching the city lights blur into long, orange streaks.
The music in my headphones became just a soft background for my thoughts.
Theo shifted slightly in his seat, but said nothing.
I could feel he wanted to talk, but he didn’t.
He looked at me briefly, then his gaze retreated.
I bit my lip, trying not to say something I’d regret.
“Don’t think about what I heard,” he said finally, quietly enough that Sergio couldn’t hear, even though he was between us and asleep.
“I’m not saying it to get an apology,” I said simply.
“I’m saying it because… it was time it came out. ”
Theo nodded, but in his eyes there was something between shame and concern.
“Still, Cass… you’re not alone now.”
“I know,” I said, though I wasn’t sure I really believed it.
I put my headphones back on, this time at low volume. Just so I wouldn’t hear how the silence between us shattered into tiny, almost imperceptible pieces.
It was already 12-something, and we probably had another hour — meaning we’d land in Spain around noon, their time.
We had nothing to do, so I decided to see if I could sleep, letting my thoughts mix with the hum of the engines, trying to slip into the dream I’d always wanted to live.