~Chapter 29 ~
I wake up slowly, feeling like I’ve been floating in the dark for too long. The air in the room is cold, but not ordinary cold. it’s a kind of static chill, like before a storm that just won’t let up.
I open my eyes.
The room is empty, quiet, and the edge of the bed is slightly rumpled, as if someone had been there for a while and then left. Only one person remained.
Sergio.
He’s sitting in the corner chair, his back straight, the kind of posture he only assumes when he’s trying to appear calmer than he is.
His hands are clasped together, fingers pressed together.
“Finally,” he says softly. “You slept through it.”
I sit up slowly, a dull ache shooting through my collarbone.
Nothing compared to yesterday, but enough to make me frown.
“How long have you been awake?” I ask.
“Almost an hour. You didn’t move at all, so I waited. ”
His voice is neutral, but his gaze is not.
The gaze is… intense. Too intense for Sergio.
“Did you wait?” I repeat, trying to understand.
He shrugs.
“We’re not leaving until we see you on your feet.
The order… doesn’t matter from whom. What matters is that I stay here.
That’s it.”
I run my hand over my face.
My skin is cold. Too cold.
“What happened?” I finally ask him.
Sergio stares at me. His silence lasts a few long seconds, so long that I could swear I can hear the tension in the air.
“You Dreamed,” he says. “But that’s not the problem.
”
I swallow.
"So what is it?"
He tilts his head a little, like a hunter noticing something broken in a weapon.
"You haven't breathed for a good few seconds.
"
I feel my chest tighten, not out of fear, but out of confusion.
"Maybe it felt like..."
"Cassian," he cuts him off abruptly, rarely directly.
"It didn't feel like anything to me. If I was in training and I saw that in another, I'd take him out of the fight indefinitely.
"
He takes a deep breath. "And there's something else.
"
My heart stops for a split second.
"Say.
"
Sergio hesitates, something I've never seen in him before.
"When I touched you... your skin was almost frozen. Not cold. Frozen. And it still is."
He raises a hand hesitantly, almost as if he’s looking at me to ask if he can.
I don’t stop him. His fingers touch my wrist.
I flinch.
“Exactly. Still is,” he whispers.
I look at him.
At the seriousness in his eyes. At the fact that he’s not trying to scare me, but it’s clear that he’s scared.
“Cassian…” He inhales. “Something is wrong with you, and it hurts to tell you this. But you have to tell me if you felt anything… strange before you fell yesterday.”
I feel my stomach tighten.
Yes.
I did.
But it’s not something I can explain.
And as I prepare to answer, that cold, that unnatural cold,creeps under my skin again.
Like a warning.
I get out of bed and head for the bathroom, not intending to answer the question.
He looks at me as I get out of bed and says
"If you don't want to, you can just say.
.." And with that he gets up and walks out of my room.
I really don't like being here, but sometimes I just don't feel like telling lies.
I go into the bathroom and take a shower, the water feels hotter than ever when it's actually on the line.
My skin turns red but I'm not sure if it's from the cold or the heat, an unsolved mystery.
I grab my shampoo but drop it on the floor, so I bend over to get it but I'm interrupted
"Better?
"
Him.
Again.
I panic a little but I slowly recover, I've done this before and it's already something easy for me.
"I'm not hurting you, Cassian.
Just accept me and you'll see. I want you and you belong to me"
I freeze
"No.
..I don't...belong to you..." I say as I force myself to get out of the shower but I feel stuck there
"And you were mine but they took you from me Cassian!
They took you from me..."
I don't even know why I feel sorry for him or who it is, but what did he mean by them?
"the reds... And...they did this.
They think they're friends but they're actually killing each other behind my back and noir didn't do anything!
"
I think he read my mind once he said that.
But... Noir...I don't know anyone like that?
"Oh, yeah. You know her really well. "
I come out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist and stop at a closet, rummaging and rummaging again to get something
"Are you protecting yourself?
" He asks and I turn around at that.
"What the hell are you saying there?
" I think, I realized I don't have to speak for him to understand "no.
...just...strange"
"I understand" he pauses "It's something new for you"
"Logical" I say that.
I found some clothes.
Some gray sweatpants and a gray hoodie, I think they were complete because they had the same color and stitching. I put on some sneakers and went downstairs.
I descend the stairs slowly, as if each step is trying to pull me back. The air in the house is a little warmer, but I don't feel much difference. Or maybe I don't know what warm means anymore.
The kitchen is quiet.
Sergio is leaning against the table, a mug in his hand.
He's not drinking from it, he's just holding it.
He knows I've come, my smell tells him, I'm sure.
But he doesn't look up right away.
When he does, he stares at me as if he's noticed something about me without fully understanding.
"You're late," he says simply. But he doesn't scold me.
He's not his type. He's more... worried.
I sit down at the table. The food is okay, but I don't feel like it.
Still, I have to. So I eat, mechanically, a few spoonfuls.
He doesn't say anything. He just watches me out of the corner of his eye.
And "he," that voice, that presence, doesn't appear anymore.
.. Or at least... he doesn't speak.
But it's there.
Like a cold hand pressed to the back of your head.
I finish eating. I put my spoon down on my plate.
Sergio blinks.
"Cassian… You don't have to tell me what you dreamed.
But at least I know… are you safe?
"
I take a deep breath.
Am I?
"Yes," I lie.
He doesn't believe me.
"If you need anything… anything… you say, okay?" he insists.
And for a moment, just a moment, that voice over his own is in my head:
“Lie to him. He’ll explain himself later.
”
I clench my jaw.
My eyelids close for a second too long.
When I open them, Sergio has moved a little closer.
Not touching me, but close enough for me to feel his warmth.
Exactly the opposite of how I feel.
“Cass… you’re pale.
More than usual.”
I try to shrug.
“I didn’t sleep well.”
“You slept like a dead man,” he says, not realizing what word he’s used.
My body freezes for a few seconds.
He stops, bites his lip.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that.
"
I can't blame him. He told the truth.
I get up from the table.
"I'm going to go out for a bit," I say without thinking too much.
Sergio frowns.
"Out? Alone?"
I nod.
"Yeah. I need some air."
He doesn't stop me, but he doesn't agree either.
I see his jaw tense.
"Okay, but don't go away, okay? "
I don't answer.
I adjust my sweatshirt and go outside.
---
Outside, the air is like a cold knife.
Too cold for a normal day.
And then I hear it.
"Good thing you got out.
... Cassian."
The voice is clear, clearer than in the bathroom, almost material.
Like a breath behind my ear.
I freeze.
I don't turn around. I don't want to know if there's something behind me.
Or just in my head.
"What do you want from me?
" I whisper.
The wind stops.
The world is silent.
"Take back what's mine.
"
I inhale jerkily.
"I... I'm not yours.
" I pause "I said that"
A long pause.
So quiet I can hear my blood pounding in my ears.
“Then why do you recognize me or why are you talking to me?”
And in that moment, my skin burns with cold on my left side, right where my chest is pulsing chaotically.
I put my hand there, clutching the material of my sweatshirt, trying to breathe.
I don't know who he is.
I don't know what he is.
But he recognizes me.
And I... I feel him.
Even though I don't want to.
I'm going to the forest.
Where was that meadow.
I need some 'green grass' time, this whole situation... is getting stressful and busy.
I get there and sit down.
The sky is just starting to color and the sunrise is dazzling, the birds are singing early in the morning and you don't even realize that we've entered November.
I sigh
"Do you hear?" I think
"What is it?
" He says and I thought he had left, but it seems he's still here
"What's your name?
Because you know my name but I don't know yours.
."
"Do you want to know this? Do you accept me?
?" He asks this and I sit there for a while thinking
"If I know yes, but if I accept it, we'll see.
..I'm not sure" I say and I continue to look at the sky full of colors
"Brex.
. My name is Brex"
"A name..
.super unusual" I say and I mumble, I feel that this 'Brex' also puts me in a good mood, something that makes me happier.
..a little.
"Sure! I have a nice name compared to others" he says and that makes me think a little
Others?
Are there others like you?
"Cassian.
.. you live with them but you don't even realize it"
His words linger in my mind.
“You live with them… but you don’t even realize it.
”
I look up at the sky, but the beautiful colors seem to fade.
It’s as if something invisible is gathering around me, like a thought I haven’t finished.
“What do you mean, ‘you live with them’?” I finally ask.
Brex laughs softly, a kind of murmur that shouldn’t be soothing, but it is.
Too soothing.
“Cassian… you really don’t see?
Don’t you feel? How much They…
hiding you?” His voice is almost warm now, like a slap on my cold temple.
I frown.
“No one hides me.”
“That's what I thought before too .” His tone becomes graver, more… sincere.
"Keep you in the dark. They only tell you what suits them. They want you weak, confused, dependent on them but they think they’re doing you good, but No. They’re grinding you down, destroying you.
”
A hollow feeling falls into my stomach.
Not because I believe him right away.
But because, somewhere, a part of me wants to believe him.
“It’s not true…” he murmurs, but he doesn’t sound convinced even to me.
“Are you sure?” Brex whispers as if he’s pressed against my shoulder.
“Why didn’t they tell you what you are?
Why do they always look at you as something to be controlled?
Why did they only tell you half the truth yesterday?
And the day before? And always?”
I inhale sharply.
My thoughts jumble.
All their looks, all the times I felt like they were hiding something…
they line up perfectly in the line he gives me.
“Don’t manipulate me,” I say, but my voice is shaky.
“I’m not manipulating you, Cassian.
” He’s so gentle it hurts. “I’m protecting you. That’s the difference.”
I’m silent.
Brex continues, this time with sharp honesty:
“If they wanted to see you properly… they would tell you what you are. What you have in you. What’s coming.
But they won’t. They’re afraid.”
“Why… would they be afraid of me?” I ask, feeling my chest tighten.
“Because they can’t control what’s growing inside you.
” His breath mingles with mine, even though he shouldn’t be able to.
“But I… I don’t want to control you.
I want to set you free.”
I bite my lip.
It’s dangerous how easily his words enter my head.
“I don’t know who to believe.”
Brex sighs, but not angry.
More like… sad.
“Of course you don’t.
You’re alone between two poles. They’re only telling you half the story…
” A short pause. “I’m telling you the other.
”
I lie back, my palms resting on the grass.
“But… what if you’re lying?” I ask. “What if you’re the danger?
”
Brex laughs softly, a tired, almost human laugh.
“If I wanted to hurt you… Cassian, you wouldn’t be here to ask me. ”
Silence.
Long.
Hard to bear.
And yet… comfortable.
“I saved you yesterday,” he adds, in a whisper.
“Not them.”
I feel my heart stop for a second.
“You… what?”
“When you fell. When you froze. They didn’t even help you, so they wouldn’t ‘wake me up.’ But I did.
” His breath passes coldly along my jawline.
“I kept you alive for a few seconds. Without me… you wouldn’t wake up, and you’re not a threat. ”
A shiver runs down my spine.
Part of me doesn't want to believe him.
But another part...
Another part feels in my chest the exact same cold that saved me.
"Why... would you do this?" I ask.
"Because I had you.
, you belong to me too" His voice drops to a tone so heavy that I feel like it's breaking me.
"And I will have you again. When you're ready to see the truth. "
I get up from downstairs a little dusty and head home, I think we have an hour at most before school starts.
Brex didn't say anything else on the way, or he didn't want to make me hate him completely.
I entered the driveway of our house and Sergio was still there.
The car was in front of the garage and my so-called car was still there.
I thought I was going to get a car, but I ended up no getting one.
I sigh and enter the house.
Sergio is nowhere to be found downstairs so I ignore him and go to my room to sit for another 45 minutes.