~Chapter 40~
When we finally find Emy, it's terrifying.
The poor girl, is with 2 big Christian Louboutin bags and others from I don't know what for makeup and clothes.
"Are you going to help me or..." She says when she notices us.
Theo and I laugh but then Theo gets all the bags, and then I laugh.
"Hey! Why doesn't he get anything?" Theo says sullenly as we walk towards the elevator
"Because he actually got something.
Compared to you who didn't want Astroloubi Mid, with my money.
You idiot!" She says and glares at him
"It was the price like 1200 EUROS, EMY!
" He says in the same tone
"Can you stop?
" I say when the elevator finally opens and I pray to God that there was no one inside
"Speak to the person who paid 4,450 lei for a jacket" Theo says and I turn to him.
"Stop"
"What else did you take?" Emy says and I turn to her and let Theo talk to himself.
The elevator stops and we now head towards the exit.
"I also bought a nice necklace from Tiffany Co.
for..." I stop when I realize that Sergio was already there and waiting for us
"YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME, YOU KNOW?
" Sergio says with a coffee in his hand and his phone in the other hand, sitting on a bench in front.
"Sorry, honey" Emy says and kisses him on the cheek, then winks at him.
How I love to see him tease him for nothing
Sergio keeps quiet and we leave the mall, and head for a taxi.
We go in there, a little crowded because of the bags but we have no choice but to put Theo in the trunk to make room.
"What did you guys take? Prada, Christian Louboutin, Chanel and Dior are present with us in the car"
"Let's not forget Tiffany Co, Sergio, please" says Theo and I hit him with my shoulder "oww"
"Yes, excuse me"
"I bought 2 new pairs of heels, one black and one.
I'm sorry they weren't what we were looking for initially.
I paid 2300 for these and with what I bought today, which is about the bags, I spent about 4000 euros.
" She says and giggles "my dad beats me when find out about his card and my time"
"You Cassian?
" Sergio says from the front, struggling to look at us
"He bought a 4,450 euro jacket" Theo says in front of me
"You idiot" I say just for him quietly "I bought more if you want to know, if YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE NUMBER 7230€"
"FUCK CASSIAN.
" Sergio says from the front and laughs "you respect yourself"
"Well how could I not" I say in the same tone.
"Excuse me for interrupting, I'm done, gentlemen and ladies"
We finally get out after it took us another 5 minutes to get out with all those bags and everyone is on their way home.
We are lucky that he dropped us off closer to our house, because Emy's mother is coming to pick her up.
I go into the house and put down the bags and throw myself straight on the couch.
I mumble something there, I complain.
"My legs hurt, SERGIO" I say and I keep complaining
Sergio comes next to you and sits on the couch on the other side
"Is it my fault you went shopping heavily developed? "
"Off" I spin and stand up.
I pick up the small bag from the floor where I left it and go with it to Sergi's.
.I stop in front of him, holding the small bag between my fingers as if it were something fragile. Sergio looks at me, first curious, then slightly amused.
"What is it?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “If it’s another shopping bag, I swear..”
“No,” I interrupt. “That… is something else.”
I hand him the bag. For a second, he just looks at it, then takes it slowly, as if he doesn’t want to ruin the moment.
He takes out the box, opens it, and then I see his face light up.
“Cass…” he says softly, then smiles broadly.
“It’s gorgeous.”
He picks up the necklace, and the star catches the light from the room.
He turns it a little between his fingers, carefully, as if analyzing every detail.
Then he notices the small pendant, the butterfly…
which I didn’t know was there, and the letter.
“Wait,” he says, slightly confused, but still smiling.
“Star… butterfly… and T?”
He looks at me, clearly delighted, but with a hint of question in his eyes.
"T from…?" he asks, without finishing the sentence.
He shrugs playfully.
"Maybe from tesoro.
Maybe from time. Maybe from something we don't know yet, Brex also said it was a special gift"
He laughs softly, shaking his head.
"You're impossible."
He moves even closer to me, holding the necklace in his hand.
"It doesn't matter where the T comes from," he says, honestly.
"What matters is that it comes from you.
"
He puts his hand to his neck, as if he can already see himself wearing it.
"Seriously, I really like it. Really really.
"
He looks at me again, with that warm smile that always disarms me.
"You got me. And now I'm going to spend the rest of the evening wondering what the hell the T stands for.
"
He leans over and touches my forehead with a quick kiss.
"Thanks, Cass."
After helping Sergio put on his necklace and showing him what else I had taken, I went upstairs.
I threw myself on the bed and tried to think that maybe the day hadn't been so bad so far. After all, it was only 1 PM. so the day still had a long way to go.
I turn over on my stomach and try to catch a bit of sleep but my phone vibrates, I'm about to pick it up to see who's calling.
I pick it up without looking at who it is and put it to my ear
"Hello" I say while yawning
"Are you sleepy, my little one?
" Someone says and I realize from the thick voice that it's Ash
"Yeah.
..I just got back from the mall and my feet hurt So much" I complain once again so far
Ash giggles through the phone and I smile a little.
"I miss you, baby" he says.
I take a little too long to answer, because I don't know what I should say to not sound so sappy, after all he's the sweet talker.
"Yes?" I say softly and laugh a little
"Yes" he continues after me.
"How long?"
"How much?" He repeats the question and I say yes in the same sense that I don't say out loud "so much that I want to stick my dick in your ass when I see you, eat you alive, to enjoy you properly, my love"
".
.." I gasp when I hear what he says and cough.
I really don't know what to add now.
"You can masturbate with me and Niko in You Mind, my little angel.
Got it? It won't be long before we come to your place, I think we'll be free after dinner.
" He says and I'm glad he got into another conversation and left the other one.
"I have to hang up, prince, I love you"
"Me too.
.." I say softly a few seconds after he hung up.
I hold the phone to my ear for a few more seconds, as if waiting for Ash to say something else. The line is dead. The room is quiet. Too quiet.
I put my phone down on the bed and stare at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. My heart is beating a little too fast, and I don't like the fact that I know it. I shouldn't. Not like this.
Ash's voice comes to mind, low, sure, the way he says things without fear of their effect.
I feel my stomach clench, not necessarily with desire, but with something more complicated.
Of familiarity. Of dangerous habit.
And then, inevitably, Niko appears.
The way he always looks at me like he knows more than I'm saying.
The message from earlier. "Where are you, little angel?
" So simple and yet… enough to stay in my head for hours.
With Niko, there's no fire. It's embers.
Slow. Constant. The kind that doesn't burn you right away, but never lets you forget it's there.
I turn over and hug the pillow to my chest, not realizing when I did it. The thought of both of them existing in my life at the same time gives me a strange feeling in my chest.
It's not guilt
it's not fear.
(I lost my idea here, by mistake, sorry)
With Ash there's intensity, the promise of something that pulls me down, into my body, into instinctive reactions. With Niko there's tense silence, the kind of closeness that makes you wonder if he sees you more clearly than you see yourself.
And the worst part is… I can’t say I don’t feel anything for any of them.
I bite my lip, irritated with myself.
Maybe I’m just tired.
Maybe it’s the long day.
Maybe it’s the fact that all three of us are too close to our limits.
I close my eyes and let my thoughts flow, without stopping them.
I don’t decide anything. I don’t promise anything.
But for the first time I allow myself to admit, even if only in my head:
It’s not just playing.
It’s not just flirting anymore.
And that… that scares me a little
---
Beep
Beep
Beep
They have their phone in their hand when it rings and they hit 'answer'
"Who is it?
" I say sleepily and yawn for the second time
"Emy.
Did I wake you up?" She asks
"Never mind.
What is it?" I ask and get out of bed, stretch out and sit on the office chair.
"We're going to the club tonight, I want to test my heels and I need sex" she says quickly and excitedly
I put the phone down and turn it on loudly, put my hands behind my head.
"And what do I do?" I say a little annoyed now that she woke me up
"You're coming too.
Sergio is coming, and Theo. It's no fun without you Cassy" she says and continues after a slow laugh "it's forced"
I sigh loudly and I'm sure I heard her laughing louder now.
"To which club? How much? Today?" I ask the questions that any AFTER SLEEP person asks
"It's a new one.
Well it's 6 PM now, around 9 pm I think it's ok and you have time to get ready.
And today. The announcement and Sergio. Bye" she says and then hangs up the phone
Sighing, I get up and go to Sergio's room, knock before entering and then enter his room and stop at the threshold.
He's on TV playing GTA V on the consoles, as I realize.
He stops and turns around, smiles and pauses.
"What's up?"
"Emy said we should be ready at 9pm if we're going to the club" I say.
I kick the door shut and enter his room, throw myself on the bed after looking to see if he's not 'dirty' for some reason and I look at him who has now started playing again.
"I think I'm doing something wrong, Gio" I say softly hoping he didn't hear me.
"What makes you think that?" He says and eats chips while he plays
".
.I think I'm the one in the wrong" I say and look at the ceiling "I mean there's some pressure but not too much"
I sit on the edge of the bed, watching Sergio lie down with the controller in his hand.
He looks relaxed, but I feel like he could read every thought in my head.
"Sergio," I begin slowly, "I don't know…
with Ash and Niko… it's weird. It's like I'm caught between two things and I don't know what I really want.
"
Sergio looks up, not saying anything, just waiting.
"I don't know if it's good... or if.
.. I'm just getting carried away," I continue, more confused than I'd like to admit.
"Okay," he says softly, putting down the controller.
"Look… you don't have to decide right now.
And honestly, maybe it's better to be with us, with Emy and Theo, than alone, struggling with things on your own.
"
I try to laugh, but it's a weak laugh.
"You mean... going to the club without Ash or Niko?"
“Exactly,” Sergio says, shrugging. “To have fun, to forget a little… no pressure. It’s easier that way.”
I lie back again, staring at the ceiling. It’s strange, but somehow soothing. I realize that maybe he’s right.
Maybe sometimes it's good to just be... present, without trying to solve everything in your head.
"I hope you're right," I murmur, more to myself.
"I have," he says simply, with a slightly wry smile.
"Now just try not to complicate yourself any more than you have to," he says.
He gets up after pausing and sits on the other side of the bed
"Look, I can see that I love you, and he even does it obsessively, maybe if you give yourself the time you need, you can share your feelings and the truth with him and your heart, Cass" he says quietly "love shouldn't hurt, it's not a sin" he says the last sentence slowly
"You talk about love but you're not with anyone?
" I say, turning my head to him
Sergio looks at me for a second too long, then snorts briefly.
"That's because I'm a theoretical expert," he says gravely.
"Practice is for suckers."
I blink once.
Twice.
"Aha," I say. "So you're giving me emotional advice from Wikipedia.
"
"Exactly," he says proudly. "I read the comments. "
I suddenly sit up and, without warning, jump on him, grabbing a pillow.
“You’re impossible!” I laugh, hitting him lightly.
“Hey, wait..” he protests, but he laughs too, trying to defend himself with his arm.
“Don’t hit the dating counselor!”
“I’m revoking your license!
” I say and throw another pillow at him.
“Cass, I swear..” he starts, but before he can finish he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him, both of us rolling onto the bed.
“Treason!” I laugh. “You used force!”
“You started it!” he says, trying to hold me back, but not very convincingly.
We both stop, panting, our faces red with laughter.
He nudges me gently with his shoulder.
“See?” he says.
“This is my solution for life. Pillow. Laughter. No drama.”
I lean back, still smiling.
“You’re an idiot,” I say.
“I know,” he replies relaxed.
“But I’m your idiot.”
We stay like that for a few seconds, nice silence, no pressure, no heavy thoughts.
Just… brothers, in our own way.