Chapter 10 Soraya
TEN
soraya
Yells of victory and defeat of people playing darts surrounded me as I picked at my hummus and sipped on a glass of chilled white wine.
Andrea and her husband smiled and danced to the DJ our trail riding club hired to keep the Flight Club jumping.
After a night of fun here with Jashaun on our first official date, I suggested that our annual party be here.
The floor of the upscale dart bar was packed with my club members and their plus ones.
I bopped my head to the music alone at the bar, wondering when I would make my exit.
I’d been here for a little over two hours.
Enough time for most of the Brown Dolls Trail Ride Club, black women who loved trail rides and horses, to know I attended.
My heart ached with regret and longing. I didn’t care about this party since Jashaun wasn’t here with me.
After our argument, I’d agonized for hours had I jumped the ship too early on my own happiness.
His late-night text only deflated my sails even more.
I understand, and I haven’t been fair to you. I’m not sure if we can move past this because I can’t promise I won’t let you down in the future. My daughter has to come first for now. Just know that I will always love you.
Watching Andrea and her husband dance, I thought of their relationship and marriage that had its own share of challenges, and how happy they still seemed. I downed my crisp wine. A few more minutes before I said my goodbyes.
The sinking feeling I’d gotten in my own way soured my stomach from eating any of the tasty food.
I ended a relationship with a man I loved because he couldn’t be my date for a party.
Yes, the event was one that I looked forward to each year and wanted Jashaun by my side.
Still, was it enough to call it quits when I knew he had scars from his own childhood that blinded his ability to see that Jussica was stronger and more adaptable than he believed?
“Soraya?” Sam walked up to the bar with the widest, most pleased smile. “This is a surprise.”
“It is.” I held my glass up to him, unsure if I cared enough to be surprised by his sudden appearance.
His eyes roamed my yellow strapless sparkly cocktail dress enough to compliment me. “You’re even more beautiful.”
“Thank you. You look nice, too.” And he admittedly did. His hair and goatee had been trimmed, and his dark suit fit his tall frame well.
Sam opened his arms, and I stood to embrace him. His genuine, friendly smile reminded me of why I went out with him in the first place. I commented, “This is my club’s annual party, and I don’t think I’ve seen you at any of our rides. Must be here with a date.”
He grinned harder. “Fishing?”
“No, just know that I’ve never seen you at any of our events since it's members only and their guests.” I stepped back from his arms in case he came with a woman. I didn’t need any unnecessary drama.
“This is my first one. A couple of the guys know the president, and she invited us. I didn’t come with a date. I didn’t realize you did trail rides.”
“Love them. I’ve been riding horses since I was a little girl because my grandfather lived in East Texas. Been a part of this group for about eight years.”
His eyes roamed my body more slowly and appreciatively. “Beautiful. I know Ocean not’s going to let you out of his sight for too long tonight.” Sam looked around the booths where people were shooting darts and others were dancing in the swank entertainment space. “Where is he anyway?”
My parents had always taught me grace and to be protective of the people I loved. Although I didn’t quite know why Jashaun didn’t like Sam, all that mattered was that he didn’t. “He couldn’t make it tonight. Couldn’t find a babysitter.”
Sam’s brows dipped in the middle. “A babysitter? Ocean has a baby?”
Shit. “A seven-year-old daughter.”
He quirked a brow. “He let you come here alone looking like this when he can more than afford a nanny if he wanted one. That’s the excuse he gave you?”
“Good evening, Sam.” I crisply said, wanting to get away from him before I cursed him.
He held his hands up. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to offend you. Promise. Just didn’t know he had a child.” Sam touched my wrist slightly. “I meant it as a compliment, okay? Ocean is a lucky man.”
“You need to work on complimenting a woman without putting down the people she cares about.” I quipped, not yet ready to let him off the hook for his slick comments.
Sam’s jaw tightened. “I’m sorry.” He then held out his hand. “Listen, I might be a glutton for punishment, but can we at least dance? I won’t feel right leaving you here alone without taking you out there to dance to at least one song.”
I glanced around the room with all the smiles and laughter and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor.
He picked up both my hands. “Relax. It’s a dance, and I can do a two-step with the best of them.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
Sam smiled again, and I started moving my feet to the rhythm of the song.
He suddenly spun me around, and I squealed in pleasure.
Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all.
I admired Sam, whose eyes were nice, whose only flaw appeared to be his dislike or jealousy of Jashaun.
Why not relax and worry about my relationship, or lack thereof, tomorrow?
The searing heat of his gaze faltered my steps, and behind Sam, a dapperly dressed Jashaun in all black stared at me from the periphery of the dance floor, his hands in his pockets.
My heart soared while my stomach ached. He would think I broke up with him to be with Sam.
When we locked eyes, I tapped Sam’s chest. Sam’s grip only tightened at the sight of Jashaun, whose dark eyes glinted from a distance.
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.” My gaze never wavered from Jashaun, who didn’t move.
“Maybe Ocean needs to be reminded that you have options.”
“Trust, Jashaun Howard is fully aware.” I eased out of his grip and apologized without looking at Sam. “I’m sorry.”
“Soraya,” Sam called from behind me.
The closer I approached, the more anxious I grew. He watched me, and his unreadable expression never changed. I didn’t know if he was about to blow up or kiss me. He’d found a way to be with me tonight, and as far as he was concerned, I danced with the enemy. Might even be with the enemy.
The angles in Jashaun’s face were more pronounced, and his chest rose and fell. Up and down. Up and down. Shit. If looks could kill, then why do I still want him to fuck me?
“He isn’t the better choice,” He growled when I stood in front of him.
“I know.” Nervously, I shuffled from one foot to another. “I came here alone. I didn’t even know he was here. It was just a dance.”
Jashaun picked up my hands and pulled them behind him to bring me closer. “You don’t dance with another man. Ever. Do you understand?”
Before I could protest about his demanding tone and that I could dance with whoever I wanted to, he gripped my chin and kissed me hard on the lips and repeated, “Do you understand?”
Oh, shit. This man ain’t playing with me.
I was his.
Period.
“Yes.” Stunned that I actually loved how he asserted his control over me, I stared into his dark, glaring eyes and melted against his strong chest. His warmth and scent folded me in his arms.
We swayed in silence to a slow-moving song, and I wanted to stay in his arms.
Forever.
Love was a risk, and the payoff would be worth so much more than the pain of heartbreak. I would fight for us because we were worth it.
I kissed his neck. “Take me home.”
“No.” He answered smoothly, tilting his head to see me. “We didn’t get dressed up to be at home. You wore this sexy dress with my breasts out for the world to see. Let’s let them see us.”
I giggled. “Your breasts?”
His hand lowered to grip my behind. “Yes, every last part of you is all mine. You wanted to be out with me, showing these folks you have a fine as hell man.”
“I wasn’t trying…and your ego is…” My words stopped at his amused expression.
“Yes, you were. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so mad with me. You’re the most independent woman I know. Willing and able to fly solo. And on this, you want to drop me like a bad habit.” He lifted my hand from around his waist and kissed the inside of my wrist.
“It wasn’t just about this, and you know it. I’m not trying to be Jussica’s mother, but I am a mother figure to her. She likes me and seeks me out. You can lie on my chest for comfort and feel safe to share your dreams and fears, yet you won’t allow me to truly be there for you and Jussica.”
“I’m here now.” His arms returned to my waist. “Mrs. Finch is at my house watching her.”
“Aww…my man is growing up and actually listening to his woman.”
He shook his head wryly. “You better behave. There’s a woman at my place waiting for me to come home.”
We chuckled.
“Oh, I bet Mrs. Finch loved that you asked her. She’s determined to get some from you,” I teased. “What made you change your mind about a babysitter?”
Jashaun cupped my face with his smooth palms. “Love.”
I exhaled at the simplest explanation of all.
He continued, “I love that I make your heart flutter. I love that I make you smile. I love that I make such a strong woman weak for me. I love you, Soraya Bryant, and I love that you want to show me off like I plan to show you off for the rest of my life.”
“What are you saying, Mr. Howard?” I wrapped my arms around his neck, craving him, loving him, wanting him to take me out of my sexual misery.
“I want to be your husband one day. So, all this breaking up with me and pouting when I say or do something you don’t like ends now. We hash it out until we come to an agreement or compromise.”
“Duly noted.” I poked his forehead. “You are one of the most stubborn men I know besides my daddy. You’ll see when you meet him.”
He grinned. “Ooh, I get to meet the parents in New Jersey.”
I caressed his nape. “You mean your future-in-laws?”
Jashaun beamed. “First, I need to formally introduce you to Jussica. What about we go with you on that trail ride next weekend? You can teach her all about horses while I keep my distance.”
“Wait…you don’t like horses?” I arched a brow.
“Nothing against them. Fell off one once, so I’m good on that.”
“Nope, you’re getting back on.”
He shook his head. “On second thought, what if I introduce you to her as my girlfriend tomorrow, and if she’s still comfortable with you, then you take her on the trail ride?”
My head flung back in laughter and belief that he and I might just be forever.