Chapter 11 Jashaun
ELEVEN
jashaun
The next Saturday, I worked in my home office while Soraya spent the day with Jussica at a trail ride.
Jussica could barely sleep and woke up earlier than usual, so excited about horses and being with Soraya.
She barely batted an eye when I held Soraya’s hand, nervously yet proudly, and told my daughter that we were together.
I wanted to add that we would marry one day, and Soraya, anticipating my words, stopped me.
She later pulled me to the side and rightfully told me to take it one step at a time, and that whenever I decided to officially propose, to include Jussica in the ask.
And after that introduction, she has visited Soraya’s place daily.
Now they’d been gone for most of the day and would return soon.
For once since I’d been a father, I was able to just be without feeling guilty about neglecting my daughter or my woman.
My Spotify blasted my fav dirty south playlist. Ms. Jackson by Outcast had been on repeat three times when my doorbell buzzed.
When I checked my phone, I cursed.
Mara stood at the entrance with folded arms, shades covering her eyes, and the audacity to show up unannounced.
I buzzed her in and texted my mother and Soraya that Mara had returned and was at my place. I opened the door before she knocked lightly. She coolly said, “Hello. I’m here to get Jussica.”
Refusing to address her while she stood in the hallway, wordless, I stepped back and allowed her into my home. She walked past me, her high ponytail bouncing with every determined step, and called for Jussica.
“She’s with my girlfriend,” I replied calmly, knowing that the tornado brewing within both of us would unleash any minute.
“Figures.” Mara crossed her arms and scowled deeply. “When will they get back?”
“Not sure. They’ve been gone since this morning. If you’d called and told me you were coming today, I would’ve told you to come see her tomorrow.”
She frowned. “You mean, you would’ve made sure Jussica stayed here so she could see me?”
I moved closer. “Now, why would I ruin Juss’s plans by keeping her home to see a mama who may or may not show up?”
She whipped off her shades. “I’ve never stood my daughter up.”
“Naw, you just abandoned her.”
Mara flinched at my words, though she jutted her chin. “I left her with her daddy and called as often as I could. Training didn’t allow for daily calls.”
“A fact you never told me.” I hit the back of my hand on the palm of my other one. “How could you leave her? I reject you, and you reject your daughter? How does that fucking work? How would you have felt if I only wanted to be around Juss to get you, and once you denied me, I left?”
“You’re the one who seems to think that Jussica can’t live without you. The worst day of my life, as far as I’m concerned, is the day you got in my car, disrupting our lives,” She snarled.
“And it was my best day…no wait…my best day is…” I tapped on my temple. “Today, because my daughter woke up bright and early, excited about spending time with my future wife.”
Mara’s eyes narrowed, and she hurled, “Well, enjoy because after today, she’s coming back home with me.”
“Not happening. She lives with me now, and I might allow visitation rights. I don’t trust your ass.”
“Like hell. You can’t allow shit.” Mara’s face reddened.
“You can’t take my baby away from me. I didn’t abandon her.
I did something for myself, something that I’m proud of, and I’m back better than ever.
I needed to be away to heal from everything I’ve been through.
And I’m taking my baby home if I have to drag her out of here. ”
“Over my dead body,” I growled. “You don’t get to come in and out as you please. I watched that girl cry herself to sleep for weeks, asking what she did wrong and if you really were coming back. I had to reassure her of something that I didn’t know was true since you refused to speak to me.”
She yelled and jabbed the air. “You knew I was coming back, and every time we spoke, I told her how much I loved her and missed her.”
I hit the palm of my hand with my fist. “Juss cried herself to sleep every night. What part don’t you understand? She’s seven fucking years old. You can’t just up and leave and expect her to just handle it.”
She placed her hand on her hip. “Is she still crying?”
“No.”
“Then she adjusted, like I knew she would.” She twisted her lips. “You’re not going to make me feel guilty when I know all you did was throw her off on your mama and your bitch.”
Incensed at her cruel disdain and name-calling of a woman I loved, I snatched her t-shirt, grabbing her up before I could stop myself. Her eyes rounded in fear, and I immediately released her. “Just go sit in the car or wherever the fuck you want to wait to see Jussica…just go.”
“I’m not going anywhere without my daughter.” She said stubbornly and moved closer to me.
Goading me. Taunting me. Mara was the woman who loved drama and mess in a relationship. She misperceived my anger that I gave a damn about her and would probably, on some level, give me a hard time until she found a love of her own.
“I raised my son to never hit a woman or to call her a bitch.” Mama strolled through my unlocked door.
Her purse on her wrist, her shades pushed up on her locs.
She’d always appeared years younger than her actual fifty-eight years on this Earth, and she could and would do damage to anyone who hurt Jussica or me.
She stopped an inch away from Mara. “I, on the other hand, have no qualms about hitting a woman who disrespects my son.”
“Of course, you would stick up for your son, knowing you were the one taking care of her.” She sucked her teeth. “I’m not leaving without my daughter. She needs to be home with me where she belongs.”
“’Belongs?’” Mama’s head jerked back. “This is Jussica’s home.
My son more than took responsibility for his actions, unlike most men who don’t want a child with a fling.
He loves that little girl to death, and for you to waltz back in and demand that Juss belongs with you because you’re her mother is bull.
You left your daughter. She’s always going to remember that. You. Left. Her.”
Mara’s nostrils flared, and her chest heaved.
“Did you ever think what that would do to her, huh?” She moved closer to Mara.
“Do you get how often she woke up crying and missing you? That she clung to Shaun and me and hated leaving us. Her grades dropped, and it was my son who stayed up late to make sure she caught up when she finally slept through the night. He made sacrifices for Jussica.”
Her expression remained haughty and angry. “So, what? Is he supposed to get a gold star? Mothers have been doing that since the beginning of time.”
“Yes, he deserves a gold star and any other accolade,” She yelled with all her might.
“He didn’t know that he had a daughter, and he could’ve gotten out of that car, and I wouldn’t have ever known my granddaughter.
He stepped up to help you and her, and because you couldn’t handle rejection like any grown ass woman would have, you walked away from your responsibilities, from your baby. ”
“I didn’t walk away because of that. I needed to do something for me.” She seethed.
“You don’t exist when you have a young child.
It’s about what's best for your child. Your needs often go unmet, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it until they can take care of themselves.
Ain’t no one in this world ever said being a parent is easy.
” She touched her chest. “I was diagnosed with breast cancer when my son was only a little older than Juss. For a year, we battled it together. He took care of me when no one else would. I fought to be alive because of him, and I didn’t forsake my son then, and I won’t ever forsake him.
I made the mistake of suggesting he try to work out a relationship with you.
” She scoffed loudly. “Never again. Let go of your unnecessary bitterness when my son doesn’t owe you a damn thing except to care for the daughter you share.
And for the record, he never dumped my grandchild on me.
We were a team, cleaning up after your mess. ”
Mama inhaled and exhaled and composed herself into the refined depiction of womanhood she’d always been.
“Make whatever excuses you want if that’s going to make you feel better.
But if you ever walk away again, stay gone.
” Mama jabbed her finger in Mara’s surprised face.
“Did you hear me? Keep your ass away from us if you dare do anything like this again to that precious little girl. The next time I won’t be so nice. ”
“Hey…everything okay?” Soraya walked in alone with a concerned frown. “I could hear you down the hall.”
Mara’s head swung around at the sound of her voice, and her hands balled into fists, prepared for battle. Her assessing eyes, however, told another story. Underneath the green of envy and jealousy, approval peeked out.
Still, my muscles tensed in anticipation of defending Soraya from Mara’s mouth or hands. Not that Soraya couldn’t handle Mara, I just didn’t want Mara to say or do anything that would make me act out of my character.
“It’s handled,” I answered, staring at Mara until she refocused on me. “We will work this out peacefully. We’re both angry because we love Juss.”
Her jaw tightened as she reluctantly nodded.
Mama moved toward Soraya. “Is Juss still in the car?”
Soraya surveyed the room. “I thought she was up here with you. She saw the text Jashaun sent me about her mother being here and ran ahead while I got our stuff out of the car.”
The bottom of my stomach dropped. “I haven’t seen her. Shit…she heard us.”
Mama rushed to Jussica’s room, calling her name, and I took off past a stunned Soraya and Mara out the door.
We were so busy fighting, we didn’t even notice Jussica.
I can only imagine the emotional fireball of seeing the three people she loved at odds, tossing ugliness at each other.
My adrenaline fueled my pounding heart as I raced past the elevator and practically jumped down the stairs.
I knew without a doubt where she would go.
Why did I vote against a lifeguard all those months ago?
We hadn’t found one yet, and all that Soraya said at that meeting came full circle.
Children do wander and leave without checking in with their parents.
Her sobs and the water splashing assaulted my ears as I burst into the warm air.
I don’t think I ever ran this fast in my life.
I grabbed the iron bars of the fence and held on, trying to re-settle my racing heart and mind.
Jussica perched on the side of the fountain, fiercely yelling and splashing, releasing her emotions as Soraya had taught her.
I held my hand out, stopping the three women who finally caught up, and I moved through the gate.
Water soaked my clothes as she continued to kick and wail. Easing down beside her, I slipped my arm around her and gently pulled her into me, using my other hand to press against her legs, ceasing her movements. “Shh…shh…I’m here.”
Jussica looked up at me with glistening eyes. “I heard you fighting. I want to stay here with you.”
“I want that, too, little one. I want that always.” I reassured her. “You belong with me.”
She sniffed. “Mama wants me to go home with her. She told me she was coming to get me on the phone last night.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I guess Mara didn’t stop by unexpectedly.
“I didn’t want to go with her. I was afraid you would make me go with her since she’s supposed to take care of me.”
I pulled back. “We’re both supposed to take care of you.”
“Your daddy didn’t take care of you.” She touched my cheek.
“No, he didn’t, and that was his issue. Not mine and definitely not yours. You don’t have to go with her today if you don’t want to.”
She rested her head on my chest. “I don’t want to make Mommy sad either.”
“Yeah, it’s tough when you're in the middle of two people who love you very much.” I rubbed her back.
“I’m going to do my best to make sure your mother and I don’t fight anymore, and we’ll figure out how we all can win.
I can’t stand seeing you so upset over something we did.
But you can’t run to the pool without one of us.
Even after you learn to swim this summer, you can’t ever be in this pool alone.
You could drown.” My voice broke. “Daddy’s heart can’t take it if anything ever happened to you. Do you understand me?”
Jussica captured my concerned eyes with hers. “Yes, sir. I won’t do it again.”
I held her tighter. Grateful for that wild weekend eight years ago that brought this treasure into my life.