Chapter 19
Odin
Ever have one of those moments of sheer disbelief where you wonder how you got here and how on earth you got to be so damn lucky and blessed?
I’m having one of those moments now, face to face with the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, holding tightly to her hands after we just slipped Willa’s gifted antique rings onto each other’s fingers.
That wide gold band sits just above my heartline.
I just made very real vows that I intend to keep to the best of my ability.
This all started as a contracted idea, but it feels a hell of a lot more like the start of a forever moment.
At one time, I was so close to sinking into a life of crime and violence.
That path of daily destruction was the only thing I knew.
Life was something to be endured, more of a cage than a treasure.
I’d known the same patterns of pain and neglect since I was a child and I had no idea how to break free of them.
So, it’s even harder to believe that I’m standing here right now, my hand in another’s, her grasping so tightly to me, as though she wants to hold on forever.
Willow was the last person I ever expected, and I sure as fuck didn’t see my life going the way of a wedding and fatherhood, but I’m so grateful to whatever is out there, even if it’s just the force of our own choices, or some freaky physics like she explained to me.
Preacher finishes whatever he’s been saying that I tuned straight out of after slipping that ring onto Willow’s finger.
It was impossible to pay attention when I was lost to everything except her, but Preacher’s words and the throaty cheers from all the men and women gathered around us, bring me right back.
I know the final words of wedding vows. Even though I don’t hear him say it, since I’m still spaced out and my ears are ringing.
I don’t see him mouth the words because I’m looking straight forward, seeing only a woman more exquisite than any dream could have prepared me for.
I still know that we were just pronounced husband and wife and were instructed to kiss.
That’s what all the cheers are about. People want to see us seal the deal.
Except… I’m frozen.
My muscles are locked up, not in a painful way. It’s the nerves paralyzing me, I guess, or the shock. In a good way.
I don’t feel the wetness on my cheek until Willow raises her hand, gold ring flashing in the fluorescent lighting overhead, and brushes a tear away.
She curls her fingers around it, holding it like it’s a treasure.
I could drown in her eyes. They’re so soft.
So blue. Like the sky in the morning. I want to sink into her. Get lost in her.
My wife.
She flattens her palm against my chest, right over my heart.
The shirt I buttoned myself into is too stiff.
It feels starchy without the starch. I wanted to look nice for her, though.
Aside from the club vest I’m wearing over it, I look like I’m going to work in a fancy office.
But at least it’s black on black. I left a few buttons undone so I could breathe.
I didn’t mind that we started more than an hour late.
I was just worried about Willow. Not that she’d changed her mind.
We’ve spent two weeks of pure bliss getting to know each other, sharing memories and hopes, twining our bodies and our hearts together.
It might still not be the conventional wedding that most people have, but that’s okay.
I’ve watched a few guys from this club fall deeply in love in a very short time.
I watched Raiden enter a forced marriage and still come out the other side of it with the most enduring, inspirational relationship.
This past month has meant more to my heart than the past thirty odd years of my adult life, when I was old enough to know what love was, even if I didn’t understand it. Already, my time with her has rewired my brain. My heart. My soul.
She leans into me, all my thoughts crashing together, swirling frantically and careening into slow motion.
My hands move, bracketing her hips. She tilts her face up.
She’s wearing such tall heels that she’s just about my height already.
Her dress is vintage. Simple, yet not simple at all.
Cream colored, cotton and lace, with little cap sleeves and a frilly trim that scrapes the floor.
Sweeping ties loop from the front and wrap around her waist, streamlining her soft curves.
She’s wearing a gold locket at her throat.
I think Willa might have had a hand in both.
Her hair is swept up into curls and fluttery tendrils.
Her makeup is perfect, understated but definitely there. She’s a dream. An angel. A vision.
No one has touched my heart the way she already has.
Her fingers glide upwards, steadying herself with my shoulder, then splaying to the back of my neck.
I don’t know what she feels, or what she sees, but it’s not just the old tattoos, most of them not well done, the way my skin and my body has aged though I’m in good shape.
She doesn’t see the salt in my hair or my silver hairs streaking my beard.
She doesn’t see all the scars that living rough and hard have left on my skin.
She sees the man that I can be. She sees the man who adores her.
She sees goodness that I hope like hell I can live up to.
Her lips meet mine in the softest brush. The cheers in here grow deafening. I respond, kissing her back, losing myself all over again, but I don’t do anything theatrical like dip her down and bend her over backwards.
Someone’s phone rings in the background.
A ripple of laughter goes through the crowd, but it’s silenced as I wrap an arm around Willow’s waist and tuck her in against my side.
She steadies herself with her palm flat on my chest again and we turn, her all radiant smiles, and me, still floating on this crazy high that I’ve been on all day, to face our club family.
A deadly hush blankets the room, the clapping and cheering fading away to nothing, as Lynette steps forward, her hand holding her phone to her ear. She shoots me a look that can’t be anything good, worry and sympathy.
She thanks whoever is on the other end a few minutes later, after just listening. We’re all braced, the room so silent that the call might as well have been an explosive detonating right in our midst.
Willow automatically steps into my side. I wrap an arm around her waist, splaying my hand along her hip and across her stomach instinctually.
Lynette hangs up, but still clutches her phone.
She glances around the room, a little bit helpless, but I think it’s just the timing.
I’ve yet to see her in a situation where she’s fully ruffled.
She sat at a desk here at the clubhouse and processed paperwork, all while she was in active labor.
Bullet almost lost his mind trying to get her to the hospital.
He’s right by her side now, holding their sleeping son in a sling carrier. Not even the rowdy cheers in the room when Willow and I slid the rings onto each other’s fingers and kissed, was enough to rouse him.
Bullet eases the phone out of Lynette’s hand and grasps her fingers in his. She stares into his face for a moment, composing herself, then she turns back to us.
“That was the police. I don’t want to be that person who interrupts a wedding with bad news.”
Tyrant and Raiden have been best friends since they were able to walk, and often, it really shows. They step forward at exactly the same time, ready to thrust themselves between danger and all of us, ready to take charge as our Prez and VP.
“It’s alright, Lynette. You can tell us. What’s happened?” Raiden asks.
Tyrant’s jaw clenches and unclenches as he braces himself. I don’t realize that mine is doing the same until my back tooth starts to ache from the pressure that I’m applying. Willow takes deep breaths at my side, trying to keep calm as well.
“I’m so sorry, everyone. The new shop is on fire.
The police just figured out who to call, given that we just bought it.
It’s late on a Friday night and they had to track down some numbers before they found mine.
The fire crews are on their way, but apparently, it’s bad.
They don’t anticipate there will be anything left.
They can’t see much of anything right now other than the blaze, so the cause of the fire will have to wait to be determined. ”
We just closed on the shop last week. Hearing that it’s on fire is a blow to the gut, but I recover quickly from the shock of it and start to think rationally.
Jumping immediately to arson isn’t in anyone’s best interest. We’ve dealt with a fair number of our enemies burning our shit down in the past, but this isn’t a warehouse.
We’re streamlined our income sources into mostly legal means. We have very few enemies at present.
There’s also one obvious, glaring culprit. “The wiring in that building was the first thing we were going to have to work on. It was old as shit. When we had the inspection done, the guy was quick to point out what a hazard it was. I’d suspect that before anything else.”
“That’s a fair point,” Tyrant agrees. “We need to go check it out and get things settled, but I’m sure that it wasn’t intentionally set.”
“I’m fucking sorry, you guys.” Raiden looks more mournful than I probably do. “That was going to be your shop and your home.”
“The good thing is, we have insurance,” Lynette says quickly. “It might take some extra time, but we can rebuild. The lot is ours either way.”
“It’s not like it’s our first rodeo when it comes to construction.” I voice what we’re all thinking.
Bullet nods. His range burnt down and a brand new one was constructed.
It was a massive effort, with trades working non-stop for almost a full year to get it finished.
The guys from the club helped too, but it was such a massive project, and insurance was paying for professionals anyway, that we put the finishing touches on the buildings and took care of some of the courses and pits.
Bullet had a dream and since he was starting from scratch, he was able to build exactly what he wanted.
“We’ll go ride out and talk to the police,” Tyrant says. “Raiden and Crow can come with me.”
“I’m coming too.” Like fuck there’s any way that I’m not going.
All three of them shoot me incredulous looks.
I hold up a hand and turn to Willow. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears.
I sweep my thumbs gently over her lashes, gathering up the moisture before it falls.
“I know this is our wedding. It’s not ideal, but I’ll be back soon.
Is that alright? Will you be okay here?”
“I- of course.” Her face twists as she tries to hold back more tears. “This was… this was your dream, Odin. I’ll be okay anywhere, but will you?”
“You’re my dream, Willow. Not some structure.”
The words do hit home, but she’s still upset. “Do you think this is some kind of sign?”
“I think it was just bad wiring. We were going to have an electrician come first thing next week and deal with that. It’s extremely bad timing and the whole thing is unfortunate, but I’m thankful that no one was in there when the fire started, and the building doesn’t have much in the way of others around it.
Hopefully, they can contain the fire and there won’t be more damage.
I’m just sorry that our place is going to take so much longer to complete now.
Not that we can’t do something bigger and better, and exactly what you want. It’s just going to take time.”
“I’m fine,” she assures me. I can see that she is. She’s hurting for me, not for her. In the midst of the chaos and the unexpected, she’s steadfast. “I’m fine exactly where I am, and I’m so thankful to be here. I’m only worried about you going out there.”
“We’ll be safe, I promise.”
“I’m so sad this happened at all, but you’re right about the timing. No one was there because they’re all here. But your bike…”
“The bike was going to be redone completely.” That’s why I brought it over to the building as soon as the purchase went through.
It was going to be my first project there.
“I’m okay with just getting something new, though.
I had insurance on it too. Plus, that one didn’t have an extra seat.
” The number of bikes at the clubhouse that don’t have an extra seat and rarely get ridden now that men have someone they want to put on the back with them, is bordering on comical.
“Will you have something to eat?” I tuck one of the wispy locks of hair behind her ear. “Save a steak for me.”
At last, there’s a glimpse of a small smile. “Of course we’ll freaking save you a steak, and everyone else who’s going with you as well.”
Willow looks up at me with worry and anxiety, but beyond that, something so much deeper. It hits me harder than news of the fire did, and I wonder all over again, what I did to deserve to have her here, waiting for me, thinking about me, worrying over me, her arms open to eagerly welcome me back.
“I didn’t tell you that I love the new eyepatch.” She grazes my cheek with a tender kiss. “It suits you. It all suits you.”
It’s a black leather piece. My others are all cotton, but I wanted something special for today.
You can get anything on the internet and I’ve ordered plenty in the past, but this one took me hours to eventually decide on it.
That she noticed and that she likes it, means so much.
It still sends me reeling a little that she finds me so attractive.
We’re planning on staying in my room tonight, and the final look she sends me before I turn around and head out with Tyrant, Raiden, and Crow, is full of heat.
It’s not one of those, I’m going to save you a steak, so hurry back looks.
I know that I’ll have a full plate waiting for me, probably kept warm in the oven, but that’s not what her face says.
It’s more like, hurry back, because you’ll need a shower after being out there, and I can’t wait to take one with you and get dirty all over again.
It still blows my mind that she’s here, that she’s my wife and I’m her husband.
Life sure as hell isn’t done surprising us yet, as that phone call just indicated, but we’ll all face it together.
I’ve become a better man for having the club behind me.
Willow has all the women to support her, but we’re also a pair now.
Our lives will forever be woven together.
We’re so much stronger this way, standing together.