Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-eight
Jacinth
After speaking to Allirea and Laxus for a while, Allirea whispered that she had her task to complete, and I nearly smiled as I told her I did as well. I decided to mingle for a while to make that lie seem plausible, working the room until I’d exhausted my patience.
I found Lady Arianell on my way out, her opal eyes shining as she smiled slyly at me. I whispered what I found out in her ear, watching her eyes widen in surprise. She gave me a nod, and I went on my way, eagerly anticipating the results of this trial.
The thoughts sparked by my conversation with Laxus didn’t go away, however.
They lingered, and I knew I had to tell Azurill the truth.
I gave myself a thousand excuses of why I couldn’t do it right away, when the truth was that I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and went back to my rooms to hide like the coward I’d suddenly become.
When we were called for the elimination the next morning, I waited nervously for Azurill to appear. I couldn’t seem to stop fidgeting with my dress, plucking at the gems and embroidery. I’d never been so unsettled in my life as I was now just thinking about what I had to do.
He could kill me for planning to assassinate him.
Or he could send me to some prison, never to see the light of day again.
The endless possibilities weighed on my mind.
A new voice inside me whispered that there was hope, but I had never known hope to be anything worth listening to. Not when it betrayed me every time.
And yet, my heart beat furiously against my chest, like it was reaching out toward where Azurill sat on his diamond throne.
That hope remained, fighting to get out amidst the ruins of my past.
I wanted it. I wanted him. There was no use pretending otherwise, not anymore.
I wanted the life I had lost back. I wanted to be a noble, I wanted to marry the High King.
I desired nothing more than to keep Azurill forever, despite every negative experience from the past telling me it could never be.
If I was going to move forward, I had to beat those voices down and be who I always should have been.
Lady Linnea Jacinth Marit.
A noble woman unafraid to tell the king the ugly truth, with hope that he would see the real her through the mess, and want to keep her anyway.
“Thank you all for your efforts in this last trial.” Azurill smiled out at the crowd. “Unbeknownst to everyone except the competitors, they were each given a task to find out a specific piece of information about a noble at court.”
The crowd began to murmur, and Azurill put a hand up, silencing them. My lip twitched up, impressed at his control over his court.
“We gave them innocuous facts to discover, nothing that would be too invasive,” he explained, making the crowd relax further. I wanted to roll my eyes at their idiocy, but it worked out in our favor this time.
“Only one competitor was unable to obtain the information.” My shoulders sank in relief, knowing that I would be safe from elimination. “Lady Safira Mazarine, I thank you for your participation in the Diamond Queen Competition, but here is where it ends.”
Lady Safira bowed her head, her cobalt hair creating a curtain around her ghostly pale face. When she looked up, her defeated expression showed that she clearly knew this was coming.
“I thank you, my King, for letting me compete in the trials.” She curtseyed before glancing back to her father, who looked beyond pissed, his nose scrunched up as his lips formed a pale line to try to keep his outburst contained. Safira winced, and I found myself actually feeling sorry for her.
At least Laxus would likely get his bride now.
“The next trial will take place in three days,” Azurill told us.
“Allowing the remaining ladies time to get some last-minute training in. Each competitor will have to fight the other, and then me. They will gain points during each fight, and the lady with the fewest points will be eliminated. This will be swords only, with no magic permitted.”
We all looked at one another, surprised that we would have to fight Azurill himself. At least we weren’t expected to win, merely gain enough points to outpace each other.
When court dispersed, I made my way back to my rooms, but paused as I heard a ruckus coming from next door. Thanks to the circular hall with its tall ceilings, the acoustics echoed the cries and screams coming from within like they were being amplified.
The rooms for Sapphire Court competitor were to my right of my own, and maybe because I was trying to find another excuse to put off going to Azurill, or perhaps because I’d felt bad for Safira, but either way, I knocked on the door.
“What?” Came the muffled reply, voice hoarse from overuse.
“Safira? Can I come in?” I asked, hesitantly, my hand on the doorknob.
“Fine,” She replied, low and monotone.
I opened the door to see the room had been trashed. Things had been thrown every which way, with paintings ripped and thrown on the floor, cushions punctured and scattered. It was an absolute disaster.
I’d certainly done this myself once or twice. When everything had gotten to be too much, I let it out on some shitty space we’d managed to find. Since Safira was sitting on the floor with her back to the now cushion-less sofa, I slid down next to her.
“Are you okay?” I asked quietly, getting a rough chuckle in return.
“Why do you care? I know my friend tried to kill you, and we’ve been competing against one another.” She threw her hands up in the air slightly. “Congratulations, you’ve beaten me.”
“I’m not sure Zumra was ever anyone’s friend, to be honest,” I said, watching her eyes close in pain, telling me everything I needed to know. Their dynamic was a forced one based on proximity, and Zumra had to have taken her nastiness out on Safira more than once.
“And it seemed like your father was pretty mad. I thought maybe you could use someone to talk to,” I admitted with a shrug.
Cobalt blue eyes found mine, and I swore I could see the mask crumple and fall off her face as she burst into tears.
“No one’s ever offered to talk to me before.
” She sniffled, and my heart about broke for her.
For all my struggles, at least I’d had Ula to talk to when I needed it.
I debated what to do for a moment, but this whole experience had ripped away my armor, leaving bare the bleeding soul beneath who knew what having support meant to those of us who’d lived without it for so long.
“Well, you can have me now,” I offered sheepishly, watching her tears fall faster as she threw her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug.
“I’m sorry I let Zumra talk to you that way,” she said softly.
“I’ve always just followed her lead. My father said if we wanted to keep our place in society, we had to make connections, so I didn’t know what else to do.
If I walked away, he’d be so mad. Our parents are good friends, after all.
But now he’s embarrassed because of what she did, and even if she was awful,” Safira nearly choked on her tears, and I ran a hand down her back comfortingly. “She was the only friend I had.”
“You can definitely do better than that,” I promised her. “I may not be much, but Amatista is a lord’s daughter too, and Faiza, while the daughter of an earl, is friends with the High King himself. Plus, both of them are so kind and just…good. It’s a rare thing to find.”
Safira chuckled, pulling back slightly and wiping the tears from her eyes. “You think you’re not much? You might be the daughter of the lord’s cousin or whoever, but you’ve been the talk of the court.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. I thought I’d had a fairly good handle on the gossip raging across the court, but perhaps everything about me personally was kept well out of my hearing.
“Of course!” She smiled, but it was tinged with a delicate sadness.
“It’s clear the king favors you, and everyone wants to know everything about you.
” She giggled, shaking her head. “Even the peasants love you. They cheer for you in the streets. I’ve gone out and seen signs around the city.
People who are following the competition have all made them for their favorite competitors.
There’s more supporting you to win than anyone else. ”
I blinked in surprise, not realizing that I was such a favorite. Or that others had realized that Azurill favored me himself.
That bit of hope stretched and grew within me, taking up yet more space.
“I can see it, you know,” Safira whispered, alarming me when I looked over to see her sapphire eyes were swirling, the blue forming layers that seemed to continue into infinity.
“You’re on a precipice right now. One from which you could fall or fly.
Your next steps will determine the course of the rest of your life.
Your ruin or your rise—and you’ll bring all of Gemaria with you. ”
I shivered, knowing a prophecy when I heard one. I had known that Safira was adept at them, but I’d yet to truly see it in action. It meant one thing for sure: the time for delay was over.
It was time for me to confess everything.
And hope that Azurill didn’t kill the hope struggling to break free.