Chapter Four
I knew it was dangerous, and so very stupid. Yet, I found myself nodding. My body moved towards him as if he was the center of gravity. The corners of his lips lifted, but he did not dare smile fully, likely knowing by the look on my face it would be unwise to gloat.
We began our walk in silence. The night was still chilly, and neither of us were necessarily dressed for it, but it was nice to enjoy the gardens with someone other than Sterling for once. Bellamy reached out and plucked a rose, twirling it between his fingers.
“A peace offering,” he said, holding the flower out to me. I grabbed it, only to be stuck through my glove by a thorn. “Oh gosh, I am so sorry.”
Reaching out to my bleeding finger he gently touched it with his own, making heat pool in my stomach.
“It is nothing, just a bit of blood,” I said with a wave of my other hand. The small dot had already stopped bleeding and was threading back together.
After we passed the last of the roses and entered the section with lavender, I felt his arm graze mine, electricity racing from the point of contact down to my toes. Then his fingers brushed my skin too, and my stomach spun. A simple touch, far too innocent to be getting so worked up over. I needed to stay calm before I scared the poor male.
On our left we came up to a concrete bench hidden within the lavender. Bellamy gestured to it with his hand.
“Would you care to sit for a moment?” It was an invitation that was different than what I was used to. He had chosen to ask if I cared to, rather than ask if I had time or if I was allowed. I smiled, moving to sit.
The second I did the cold bit into my thighs through my gown. I let out a sharp hiss, drawing Bellamy’s attention. He pressed his body into mine, his skin growing warmer by the second. His hand moved towards my chest, and for a moment my thoughts were hazy with anticipation. He stopped just shy of my breasts and cupped his hand, calling on his fire.
A small flame sat in his palm, heating the air and casting a red hue over his bright blue eyes and black hair. I felt silly for what seemed like the thousandth time this evening. I did not recall having such promiscuous thoughts before tonight.
“Fires never cease to amaze me,” I said quietly, watching the flame whip in the wind but never burn out.
King Xavier was also a Fire, and when I was a youngling he would do tricks for me with his flames, juggling them or throwing them in an arch and letting them land in a bucket of water. Queen Mia was an Element as well, but an Earth. She very rarely used her power in public. In my experience, when a fae let their power lay dormant for too long, they would begin to feel pain as the gift ate away at their body. Which was why Mia found ways to use it inconspicuously, like throughout this garden of hers. She often did small displays in front of me as well.
“I do not believe anyone’s powers could be considered as impressive as your own,” he said with nonchalance. “It is quite the gift to be able to bend the mind to your own will.”
The words held no malice in them that I could detect, but that did not mean he was okay with my choice to strip him of his autonomy.
“I apologize. I cannot say I enjoy using my power, but it would have caused many issues for the crown if the fight had continued, or escalated for that matter. I wish I did not have to use it,” I admitted. Shame was the price of a power like mine, and I paid it often.
He seemed to consider that response for a moment, then looked into my eyes. When we locked gazes, it felt as if he could see into my soul, like he had a hold of my mind rather than the other way around.
“You should not hate your power, none of us should, it makes us who we are. Our powers give us strength and provide us with the opportunity to be better than those before us. Yours in particular has the potential to change the world as we know it,” he said it with such conviction that I found myself nodding, though most of the fae would disagree.
“My power is greatly feared throughout the realm. I am sure even on Isle Element they share stories of the wicked princess who will steal your mind in the night.” I rolled my eyes, and Bellamy let out a breathy laugh. “Or would you tell me they believe I am some kind of miracle?”
Some did. They thought I was the symbol of a new age, a blessing to the realm. Either way, I was more of a figurehead than an individual, which I struggled to accept.
“Rumor has it that when you take the mind of your enemy and crush it, their sins flash before their eyes. Some Airs say that they will hear you call to them on the breeze when the reckoning day comes. I have also been told that you will kill us in our sleep if we do not eat our greens.” At that he chuckled again, and I could not help but crack a smile as well. “We mostly talk of the dark-haired beauty that will save our realm though.”
I let out a loud laugh.
“I highly doubt that. Fae tend to run at the mere sight of me,” I responded. It was common for not only castle staff, but residents of The Capital as well, to cringe when they ran into me. Even those who worshipped at my feet as if I was a god often chose to not speak to me directly. Though it was standard practice of the fae to live at the mercy of Eternity rather than the gods, anyways.
“I am not running,” he said, smiling down at me. I looked up at the stars to hide the blush that crept onto my face. Knowing that Bellamy was not scared of me, that he actually enjoyed my presence in some way, sent a rush through my body. It almost seemed as though I was not the Manipulator or the princess to him, but rather I was simply Asher. “So, tell me more about you. What do you enjoy doing?” he asked.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him look up as well, but he left his hand and flames in front of my body to keep me warm. A kind gesture that I had already begun reading into, as per usual.
“No one has asked me that in a long time,” I murmured. His eyes found mine, his brows scrunching together.
I could not tell if it was disbelief or sorrow that flashed on his face, but whatever it was, he recovered quickly. His smile was radiant, full and dimpled. I could not help but smile back at him, though my answer was uninteresting at best.
“Reading mostly, and I often enjoy playing the piano.” Beyond that there was not much to me. I liked the way books whisked me away to a new place, another life. Music, that was a different kind of escape. It gave me power that did not take over minds, but enchanted them. “I also enjoy being with my friends. They are incredibly mischievous, and they treat me as if I am just like them. I find that their presence grounds me, reassures me. Though with us all recently reaching our second century, most of us are marrying and starting anew.”
He continued to look at me, his eyes squinted slightly. Like he was trying to make sense of a complicated puzzle, one with missing pieces. I probably sounded like a bore, but how could I explain without sounding like a fool? I wanted to have excitement and adventure in my life, to do more than merely exist, but it just was not realistic.
“Does the beginning of marriage usually mark the end of friendship?” he asked, surprising me again.
I chose not to look over at him to avoid seeing the pity I knew he was feeling. His question sounded genuine, but there was a tinge of disdain in there that made me wonder if the idea of marriage was appalling to him.
“No, but they will visit The Capital less often. We met at Academy, and after all graduates were sent back to their factions—apart from Nicola, who lives here—we remained in touch secretly, though I am truly only close with a couple from Isle Shifter now. I am given slight leeway with them since they are wed. Once we are all married, it will be difficult to see one another, as we will have responsibilities that keep us on our respective islands. Especially with my own union meaning I will begin preparation for ascending the throne,” I said with a shrug.
I tried not to dwell on the fact that so much was being taken from me to make peace with the Mortal Realm. Our future was contingent on this marriage, this alliance. The Demon Realm was active, slaughtering fae. We had known that their king, Adbeel, was biding his time since the Great War, so when the mass murders began last year, it was little surprise. How they got to the fae lands undetected was puzzling though. Especially with the impenetrable mist that surrounds their lands.
Then again, we were not privy to details of demon magic. No one was alive that had fought in the Great War those many millennia ago, and by some wicked blight of the demons’ making, no Yesterday has the ability to see that far back. We believed the demons corrupted our minds with whatever evil shadow magic they rendered from the Underworld where they derived. It was no secret that they came to our world to conquer.
Even worse, talk of King Adbeel’s son, The Elemental, had surfaced eighty years ago. He was a dangerous addition to an already highly feared enemy. No one knew what he looked like, or even his age, but we all knew that he was capable of harnessing all four elements. Local gossip suggested that the demon king had abducted a fae and used her to breed the male, but no one knew for sure how a demon came to have the ability to call upon the elements when they were normally black magic wielders.
Our council meetings were filled with horrific tales of The Elemental tearing holes into the ground to suck fae into awaiting molten rock and ripping heads off with nothing but his hands. We once received word during a ball that there had been an attack staged by the demon prince which resulted in seven fae being flayed alive. Worse was the time that an entire village in the Single Lands was nearly burned to the ground, which The Elemental seemed to take credit for as the mark of all four elements had been burned into a tree just outside of the wreckage.
The entire realm relied on not only my powers, but my future husband’s army as well to keep us safe from the demons and their monarchs.
“If I refuse to marry Sterling, I risk the safety of my subjects. I risk the wrath of the demon king. I risk allowing more fae to be senselessly murdered,” I whispered. I was unsure if I was even talking to Bellamy, or if my words were a reminder to myself.
“That is a burden that should never have been forced on you. There are strength in numbers, and in will. The mortals should know that. No one is safe when those in power seek more of it. Requesting a marriage alliance seems, to me, more presumptuous of what they can truly offer than anything else,” he said, rolling his eyes. I chuckled, nodding. It felt like he took the words out of my mouth.
“Tell me something about you. What do you do in your spare time?” I asked, eager to move on. He smiled at my obvious attempt to steer the conversation away from myself, his gaze remaining tilted up to the stars. When he answered, it was in a soft and faraway voice.
“I like to adventure. Staying still is uncomfortable to me. I want to do more, be more, than a husband or a father or a soldier. I want to be someone, not just anyone.” I thought that statement made sense. He did not seem to enjoy the idea of marriage, and being held down would not suit someone always on the move.
“That is not to say that I would want to be alone. I would like to find a partner that loved the idea of seeing the world like I do, and perhaps loved me even more.” He turned away from the sky above and set his icy stare on me. “Has anyone ever told you that you are stunning, Asher?”
Hearing my name on his lips sent a wave of ecstasy through me.
I looked away, easing some of the growing tension. Bellamy’s stare continued to set my skin ablaze, as if he enjoyed the tension, wanted to bring it to a breaking point. My cheeks heated, a blush forming. I murmured an awkward thank you, twiddling my fingers and trying to recall a time when I had been this flustered.
Though there were also very few who thought to talk with me this deeply, to understand me beyond my body or my power. I felt Bellamy’s finger slide under my chin, guiding my face back in his direction. When I peered up at him once more, I could have sworn black mist swirled in his eyes. A blink and it was gone, a figment of my imagination perhaps.
“I mean it,” he whispered.
We held eye contact. Whatever the connection was that sparked between us seemed to peak, because without a second thought, I crashed my lips to his. There was no hesitation as he moved his hand into my loose hair, gripping the thick, brown locks and pulling me impossibly close. His other hand released the flame and went to my back, warming me. I reached up, dropping the rose, and put both of my hands on either side of his face, grazing my tongue across his lips. He let out a raspy moan and opened his mouth for me.
The kiss was electric and fiery and all consuming. My breath quickly sped up when he tugged me onto his lap. My legs moved to either side of his thighs, and I felt him harden beneath me. Everywhere our skin touched left a trail of goosebumps. When the tips of his fingers slid under my gown and up my calf, I nearly melted, shivering against him. He broke our kiss and looked at me, moving to hold my face with both hands. “Are you cold?” he asked, his voice somehow deeper than it was earlier.
“No. Well, yes. But I am not shivering due to the cold,” I said sheepishly.
He smiled, running his fingers down the side of my face until he reached my chin, gripping it. He was the most attractive male I had ever seen, somehow both innocently handsome and dauntingly sexy. His striking jaw and freckled cheeks were a beautiful contrast, and I realized I could do this for days without growing tired.
“Shall we continue our walk?” he asked, voice a mere whisper against my lips. I returned the smile before offering a quick peck to his mouth. Then I slid off him slowly, giggling at his sharp intake of breath. As I offered him a hand up, I watched intently when he adjusted his trousers, horribly dirty thoughts flooding my mind.
We walked through the extensive gardens, our hands grazing every so often, and Bellamy told me of his grand adventures. Swimming to the bottom of an ice-cold lake, sword fights in the desert with his best friend, sailing across miles of the sea, working on a farm and finding chickens to be rather violent creatures. Memories of riding horseback through the snow, his disastrous attempt at making fire rain when he was a youngling, the first time he ever kissed a female—who apparently had been at least a head taller than him. “I had to stand on a bucket.” He chuckled.
In turn I told him of my own, far less interesting, life. We discussed how Nicola, Jasper, Farai, and I would secretly meet in Academy, breaking the rules of fraternization. I told him of Nicola and I’s tradition of swimming nude in the lake, named my favorite books, attempted to explain how I felt when I played piano. I too shared the story of my first kiss, which ended disastrously with me accidentally grabbing hold of his mind.
“I mistakenly spoke to him within his head. Poor male ran away crying in fear,” I said, the two of us laughing.
And when we realized we had strayed well past the exit he intended to use, we faced one another. Our noses were red from the cold, lips swollen from stolen kisses along the way, and I decided that I had been right. This—being with Bellamy—was something I could do for a lifetime. He leaned in again, his hands moving to my cheeks, and I thought of how much easier it was with this stranger than it had been with Sterling.
At that I froze.
I could not be doing this. I was engaged, spoken for, even if unwillingly so. Panic swallowed the lightheaded feeling of lust, intrigue, and genuine interest.
“I should go,” I croaked, stumbling backwards. He stood there, his hands still in the air, confusion and what seemed to be hurt on his face.
Impossible, that was what we were. One night could ruin everything, could sentence so many innocents to death. If even a single soul saw the two of us out here, Sterling could find out. I could lose my chance at uniting the fae and mortals, at fighting against the demons who terrorized us all.
And Bellamy, he could lose far more—his life. If Xavier caught him with me…well I already knew what would happen then. Had experienced it. I took one last look at the Fire, memorizing a face I would likely never see again, before bolting back down the path.
The second I reached the doors I thrust them open and slammed them behind me. Breathing fast not only because of exerting myself during the short run, but also because I could still feel the tingle of Bellamy’s hands on me. Every fiber of my being urged me to go back to him, to finish what I started. Instead, I continued the walk to my chambers, praying to Eternity that I did not see Sterling or Mia on my way.
Luckily, the hallway was empty, sounds from the ballroom filling it. I imagined the party would go on for several more hours, as they usually did. I kicked off my shoes, hoping silence would aid me. My bare feet quickly went numb from the cold, but it was easy to ignore, because the unchecked and dissatisfied part of me was still uncomfortably aroused.
My dress swished against my hips and felt heavier than at the start of the night, the bodice horrifyingly tight. I was eager to get the ugly outfit off, and to be on my own. The gold gown and shoes matched the palace, which was not a particularly welcome thought. Every surface of this place was the same color, with minimal design and decoration. It was always eerie how empty the large structure was, how far it felt from a home. When I was a youngling, I could not walk the palace alone without having a breakdown. I did not have that problem any longer, but was still in a hurry to get out of the now silent hall.
Halfway to my destination, I felt something. Someone.
Terror shot through me at the sudden and distinct inkling of being watched. The hair on my arms prickled and rose. I willed my legs to go faster, reaching my power out as a precaution. Nothing—no one—nearby. Still, I maintained a quick pace.
By the time I made it to my chambers I was convinced that I had gone mad. First, I yelled at Sterling. Next, I kissed a stranger who was most definitely not my fiancé. Then, I convinced myself I was being stalked by…I did not even know what. Was the full moon playing tricks on me? I slammed my doors shut and locked them with the hopes of a night spent alone, not needing any further chances to make a fool of myself. Hands pressed firmly against the cool wood, I took a deep breath. Or I tried to take a deep breath. The bodice truly was ridiculously tight.
I slowly turned towards the bed, untying the form-fitting top. My room was just as bare as the rest of the palace. It housed only the necessities such as a bed, small tables on either side to hold lanterns, a wardrobe, a small desk with a chair, and then a door leading to my adjoining bath chamber. The large four-poster bed took up most of the room, and every surface was gold.
It had looked the same for nearly two centuries. Decorating never seemed a priority when I preferred to be in the library, or the market, or the music hall, or really anywhere else. Anywhere that I did not have to stare at the uneven paint on the floor in the center of the room. Anywhere that I did not have to force back the memory of screams.
With that dark thought I finished undressing, letting the layers of fabric hit the floor with a small thud. I walked to my bath, noting that it was filled to the brim. Mia must have sent someone up recently, because the water inside was blissfully hot as I slipped in. I submerged myself, enjoying the way I felt weightless for once, as if the world did not sit atop my shoulders. The heat flooded my system and brought my mind back to the feeling of Bellamy’s flame in front of me.
Awareness of my surroundings was not at the top of my priority list just then, so it was quite the surprise when I heard the low bass of Xavier’s voice. I shot up, water sloshing in the tub and over the edge, drenching the tile. Rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my palms, I finally blinked away enough of the water and soap to see the king’s angry expression.
He offered me a towel, scratchy and golden, without a word. I nodded, taking it to wrap around myself as I stepped out of the tub. Hot fury radiated from him, blazing through my head and making me wince. I had known what I did tonight would come back to bite me, but was not expecting it immediately. When I had grabbed a robe and tied it around my waist, Xavier finally spoke.
“You disappointed me tonight, Ash. Your recklessness and disobedience put the future of this realm at risk, and you know it,” he said, voice smooth but face a deep red.
I nodded, walking up to him and bowing my head. He sighed, placing a thumb under my chin to raise my face. I looked up at him, at the only father I had ever known, and watched as his face relaxed. His skin faded to pink, then back to his pale tone.
“I need you to behave, Ash. We must please the mortal prince, we must present a strong team to our subjects, and we must stick together as a family,” he whispered.
My smile was not strong, but it was genuine. I knew he loved me, Xavier. Both of the royals did. More than I deserved, really. But I also knew they loved their realm more, far more, and that meant I would always come second to the ambition that maintained it. His smile faltered slightly, his hands gripped onto my biceps, squeezing enough to wrench a gasp from my lips.
“Do not ever undermine me that way again.”