Chapter Thirty-Nine
Bellamy
I f there was one thing I could always count on Asher to do, it was make a scene.
Nearly the entire training yard was watching her and Henry spar. Their taunting had died out, replaced by grunts of force and aggravation—sometimes even hisses of pain. I watched them on the sidelines, yelling out instructions to both as they went.
“Lift your elbow, Asher!”
“Hold your mental shield, Henry!”
Again and again, they blocked and swung. Asher was fighting smart, dodging as often as she could instead of attempting to block Henry’s powerful swings. She was faster than before but still not as fast as him. When he feigned left and then swung towards her right side, I thought the fight would be done, but Asher was scrappy.
Just as his blade was about to connect with her side, he froze, his face scrunching in pain. Whatever she was doing to his head gave her enough time to slam her elbow into his face, knocking him down. Henry groaned but immediately got back up, light radiating from his hands. No part of Henry would even consider holding back, and he did not as he began throwing beams of light at her. She ducked past one, barely leaning away from another before a third and fourth found their mark in her arm and shoulder. Her leathers sizzled as they burned, but my beautiful creature did not miss a beat.
Cleary aggravated, Asher finally stopped going easy on Henry. I had always told her to never hold back, and now, she did not. She ran at him, snatching one of the daggers strapped to her stomach and attacking him with both it and her sword. Henry did not laugh or brag like he normally would. Instead, he was completely silent, his moves slowing. After another couple of minutes, he stopped blocking her entirely, his body tilting to one side and his eyes rolling to the back of his head. The Sun collapsed to the ground, his body slumping without a word. The crowd fell silent, the screams and cheers that once filled the yard gone now as Asher leisurely walked towards Henry. She got down on her knees, leaning forward until her lips were inches from his ear. His eyes opened in surprise, a desperate gasp leaving his mouth as his chest filled with air.
Offering him a smile and a hand, Asher helped him to his feet, Henry leaning onto her far more than he should. I jogged over to them, pulling his other arm over my shoulder. “What did you do to him?”
“I told him to stop breathing,” she said with a shrug as she smiled from ear to ear. I laughed, leaning up to smack Henry in the cheek. His eyes opened all the way for a moment, then they were half closed again, his head lulling. “He will be fine after he gets some rest. Also, we need to switch rooms.”
Shaking my head at her insanity, I guided us to a set of chairs and tables, taking most of his weight as we set him down. When he was leaning back and groaning about Asher sleeping with one eye open, I crossed my arms and faced her. Dusting off her hands, she blew me a kiss and went to Noe, who had been standing beside me while Asher sparred.
Watching them run to each other, their bodies colliding and laughter splitting the air, left me wondering just how long I would have of this. Of a family to come home to. One that filled my days with laughter and annoyance and love and hope.
My hand went into the pocket of my training leathers, fingers toying with the ring that rarely left my side. Noe grabbed onto Asher’s cheeks, bringing their foreheads together and whispering something to her that left them both nodding and hugging once more.
We were still working on a way to get Nicola and Jasper, who we were quite convinced were both in The Capital and being heavily guarded. But perhaps if we had both of them here too, then maybe Ash would say yes. I could see it. Farai and Jasper on either side of her, walking her down the aisle. Nicola, Noe, and Lian dressed in matching outfits near the altar. Henry, Cyprus, Damon, and Ranbir behind me. I could paint portraits of Luca and Winona, something to make our family whole again. Wrath could hold the rings, though he would probably purposefully bury them in his own shit before letting me marry her.
Adbeel could officiate, and we would write our own vows. I would cover the throne room in sage green and give her a bouquet of Salvia Splendens. Atop her head would be Solei Ayad’s crown, the obsidian sparkling under the Sun magic.
And we would be happy.
“She needs to get that arm fixed,” Ranbir said as he walked up beside me. I had not seen him much since the day we found Luca’s body. Grieving another friend after losing his wife had not been easy, made evident by the deep circles under his eyes. His hair was knotted atop his head, beard now a couple inches off his chin. He wore white, as he always did, the clothes seeming to grow larger on him every day.
Looking back at Ash, I saw that Farai and Lian had walked up to her, the former bringing her in for a hug. His body shook with sobs as he held her, his hands disappearing in her dark curls and his head burrowing into her neck. Everyone around them watched on unabashedly, eavesdropping like pesky flies.
“If you have time to stand, then you have time to train. Get back to work!” I shouted. Every single soldier immediately started rushing away from the small group, the clanking of metal and the pounding of feet once more filling the air. “Nosy little shits.”
Ranbir laughed, a half-hearted version of what once was. Without a second thought, I put my arm around him and patted his shoulder, my five or so extra inches of height making me need to adjust to the stance as we walked. But Ranbir, for all his stoic nature, slumped slightly, as if a weight had been removed rather than added—as if he suddenly felt calmer.
“Somehow, I forgot how bright she shines, even when she does not know it.” Ranbir’s words were soft, but I heard the way he said them, the sound of hope there. “I believe Asher heard me blame her that day we lost Winona. I did not mean it, but my thoughts got away from me. I was angry and scared, and I felt like I was dying with Nona. I do not know how to tell her that I am sorry.”
I stopped, tugging him to a standstill. Placing my hands on both of his shoulders, I stared the Healer in the eye, hoping he understood every word I was about to say.
“Do not ever apologize for how you face loss, Ranbir. I knew Winona for over a century, and I still believe with every fiber of my being that I will never mourn her the way you do. She was brilliant and funny and beautiful and caring. But, more than that, she was your soulmate. Asher knows that. She can feel it. You do not need to say sorry. Just be there for her on the days she wakes up and thinks herself a monster. Remind her not only that you love her but that Winona did too.”
I pulled him in, embracing a male that I had considered a brother for so long. His own wedding had been a beautiful affair, held in our home in Haven. Our safe place. And now it was rotting away, a graveyard of both loved ones and memories. Would I ever be able to say enough to someone grieving such a loss?
You did good. I can feel it within him. He loves you. We all do. Believe in that.
My eyes darted to Asher, seeking out her face upon hearing her voice in my mind. She had her back facing me as she spoke to Lian, who was none the wiser that Asher was also a nosy little shit. Ranbir sighed, pulling away and nodding before gesturing for me to walk on. Side by side we approached the group just as Lian smacked Asher on the arm.
“You rode a dragon? Oh, I hate you. I will never forgive the gods for this.” Curiosity piqued, I forced myself between Asher and Noe, causing the Moon to huff at me. Ranbir smiled at Asher, offering his hand. She took it, wincing as his power flowed through her. As always, he left the scars behind. Her skin had slowly become a tapestry of art made through pain—a map from where she started to where she was now.
“You said nothing about riding a dragon,” I accused, shooting her a playful glare. Ranbir patted her hand, waving goodbye to everyone as he turned. A part of me wanted to stop him, but I knew how I felt when I did not know if Asher was alive. Knowing she was gone forever would crush me. He deserved the space to mourn, no matter how long it took.
Asher threaded her hand in mine, the other firmly locked in Farai’s. There was a deep sense of relief on his face as he looked down at his best friend, the gratitude of seeing her alive beside him lifting his shoulders when they had hunched for so many weeks.
“Well, I was just explaining to everyone that I not only met the God of Death and Creation, a truly psychotic male by the way, but that I also got to meet and ride a dragon. Two actually. I am surprised you all believe me. It sounds ludicrous when I hear it spoken out loud.”
“Seeing as a talking cat follows you around and you can literally kill people with your mind, I think you attract ludicrous things,” Noe countered, giggling when Asher’s face scrunched in thought.
Sounds of sparring grew louder, Damon’s shouted instructions echoing off the mountainsides. Lian groaned, waving bye to us without saying a word. I turned to see her approaching a group of mortals from Heratt, only one of them accomplishing the set of stances that Damon was ordering them to do.
“Well, that is our cue to get to work. Noe, I need you with the mortals from Gandry. Farai, go ahead and take over for Cyprus. He is with the soldiers from Behman.” They both nodded, each placing a kiss on Asher’s cheek before they left. She watched Farai with a contemplative gaze, her hand tightening in mine.
“You did not find Jasper.” Her whispered comment was expected, but not easy. There was a blankness to her tone that made me fear for whatever was running through her mind. As strong as she was, no one could withstand the blame of every horrible thing in the world, not even her.
“We will. Plans are being set in place to retrieve both Jasper and Nicola. Farai was under the impression that Nicola would be able to find both you and Jasper—though you seemed to have found us first. Still, we will get them here safely, Asher.” Each word was slightly less sure, almost strained. Lying to her was like swallowing acid, especially when I still felt Luca’s cold skin, Pino’s ripped clothes, and Winona’s bloody hair. I feared telling Asher that her friends would be safe when I knew how easily friends were lost forever.
“They would all be safe if I had stayed home,” she muttered, an indignant tone to her voice. Every time I saw her, Asher seemed to grow angrier, like she was collecting her broken pieces and slowly burying every soft and vulnerable one beneath them. But without all of those shards of herself, she would never be whole again. I wish she understood that.
“Asher,” I said, turning to place both of my hands on her cheeks and forcing her to look at me. She sighed before letting those beautiful gray eyes land on mine. “I am proud and thankful, just as so many others are. You have already changed the tide of this war. You might blame yourself, but I was the one who took you, not the other way around. Selfishly, I wanted you. Because the mere sight of you makes my heart stop.”
“Apparently, I make many hearts stop.” It was a mumbled sentence, her eyes darting in the direction Ranbir had left.
I wanted to shake her, to explain how important she was, to remind her that she was the savior in this tale. “I see you, all of you, and I am not afraid. You are my magnificent storm of a creature, and no matter what, it has always been you.” It was all I could think to say, and I hated that it was not more.
“You mean since Pino showed you our future, which you refuse to tell me anything about,” she corrected, a small smile lifting her lips. I returned hers tenfold, mine lifting my cheeks and making my chest ache. Gods, she was everything.
“A part of me thought I would never deserve to be loved, but I think, even then, I knew my equal was out there—that you were out there. You are the beginning and the end and every moment in between, Princess. You are mine.” My lips met hers, likely drawing the attention of those training. But I did not care. Let them see. Let them talk. Soon, Asher would be on that obsidian throne and they would bow. We all would.
“Equal is pushing it, but I love your ambition,” she murmured against my lips.
I chuckled, pulling away slightly. Her face was flushed, those full lips swollen from the hours spent against mine. I had done exceptionally well braiding her hair, which was another thing I had Winona to thank for. Realizing Asher would be mine one day had been overwhelming at first, but when I finally saw her, I knew that I had a lot to learn. Hair alone took months to perfect.
Shrugging, I leaned down until my lips were nearly touching her ear. “You are right. I could kick your ass in a fight.”
“Oh, please!” she shouted, pushing against my chest.
I stumbled back, unsure of when she had gotten quite so strong. At least I knew that Henry had been telling the truth about maintaining her daily training schedule.
“How about we get into the sparring circle and see?” Reaching forward, I quickly flicked her nose, earning a soft huff of wonderful annoyance.
“Fine.” Tossing her braid over her shoulder, Asher strutted over to the nearest free ring. I followed, my eyes honed in on her swaying hips and a smirk lifting my left cheek.
Though she put up a valiant fight, I did, in fact, kick Asher’s ass.
***
“You guys are more than capable of being without me for a month, and you act as if I cannot simply portal to you in a moment’s notice.” Damon scoffed at my words, sitting back against his seat. To my left, taking the head of the table, was Asher. She was studying the new model of Alemthian with an innocent and desperate sense of wonder. The war council members did not see it as endearing like I did. Every move she made was calculated in their eyes. They thought me a fool in love, bewitched. I could practically feel it.
Killing Finnick had been a mistake, I understood that. Not only from the numerous times Adbeel scolded me on the fact, but also because it made me seem unstable and obsessed—which I was, but the truth did not always set one free.
I could not bring myself to regret it though, especially earlier when Asher had come up behind me as I was painting. Her arms had wrapped around my neck, hands draped lazily down my chest. In my ear, she had whispered filthy things about the last time she had watched me paint, and all I could do was picture a future in which we always had that peace. A future Finnick would have stolen if given the chance.
“You are our crown prince and our general who has already taken weeks off. Gallivanting around the Mortal Realm with your stolen whore is not among your chief responsibilities!” Elrial was not one to mince his words, even if said female was currently staring at him like she wanted to roast him on a spit. Gods damn me, I wanted her to. She was smart when it came to politics, though, and more than capable of handling herself. Having as much confidence in her as I did was soothing, and I found myself placing my hands behind my head and leaning back, preparing for the show.
“Well, as the residential whore to your oh-so-glorious general, I would like to point out that there is something to be said for how incredibly moronic you must be to need a babysitter a quarter of your age. Truly, are you so incapable that you wish for your prince to lose the chance at crafting an alliance simply so you do not have to—what—breathe without him present?”
Marjorie snorted from Elrial’s side, her head nodding in approval. She looked to Rakon beside her, who was drawing on a piece of paper. My newest captain was always quick to lose focus, and I watched as Vala nudged him to attention. Lian was to my right, Damon between her and Henry. My other four captains—Ilslad, Jerrinte, Quinn, and Kyrie—were all present, too. As were Nrista and Onyx, the other half of the remaining war council members. It was a large group, but still, silence hung heavy in the air, the unspoken words swinging before us like a noose.
It was Nrista who spoke first, my war council members determined to all suffer a slow and painful death. “You do not belong here, Princess Asher.”
I would bet a hundred gold pieces that inside her head right now, Asher was calling Nrista unoriginal. Full pink lips tilted into a vicious smile, Asher’s posture going impossibly straighter. It reminded me of the time Henry had told her she sat like she had a stick up her ass. He had not been wrong, but perhaps that was just my dirty mind at work.
“I see inside that head of yours, you know. So many secrets. They fester like sores and burn like flames. Would you like to get some of them off your chest, Nrista? I can always make you if you would like me to prove my magic worthy of your acknowledgement.” The Sun’s mouth opened, jaw slack and dark eyes wide. She seemed to sink back into her chair, as if she could hide from whatever threats Asher was doling out. “Luckily for you, I do not care to do that. But please, for a moment, look inside of yourself. Peer into that shriveled abyss that you call a soul. Now, tell me, if I do not belong here, then why do you?”
Gasps of surprise and horror mingled, every set of eyes bouncing between the two females. Asher wiped her hands on her lavender skirts, a move that looked nonchalant to the others, but I knew to be a sign of her nerves. Still, her face was stoic, perhaps even a bit smug. My chuckle could not be stifled, Henry falling into a fit of laughter not long after. Soon, Lian was forcing herself to remain calm. All the while, Asher stared at Nrista, waiting for the female to concede.
“You have made your point. I think we all are very aware of what you can do and your importance in the coming war—as well as your position when the war is over.” Immediately after the words left Marjorie’s lips, I knew I was in for a long discussion with Asher. Seconds later, I was proven right when I felt her prodding at my mental shields, as if she were throwing water at the black flames. “Take your month, secure our allies, then come home. It is time we follow through with our plan for The Capital.”
At that, Asher began pounding on that wall of fire, trying to dismantle it with brute force. Her magic stung, causing me to wince at the pressure, but she did not let up. If anything, she barreled into my mind harder, like a battering ram against a stone wall.
“Excellent. We leave for Xalie in the morning. You all will have written instructions before then, and no move is to be made against Betovere until I return.” Like the coward I was, I stood and nearly bolted from the war room. Asher’s chair scraped against the floor just as I made it past the door, and I almost considered portaling away from her.
“If you do it, I will go to Xalie without you. Do not test me,” she seethed. I willed my feet to move faster, trying to weigh the pros and cons.
“You would have no way there!” My shouted response was immediately followed by a groan of frustration as Asher began jogging towards me, the sound of her slippers smacking against the stone floors making my heart race. Gods, she was scary when she wanted to be.
“Noe or Henry would take me! Maybe even Damon; he seems nice.” Her tone was smug as she halted her steps, Henry’s laughter splitting the air. I stopped, turning on my heels to face her.
Her long brown curls were loose now, small clips gifted by each of my Trusted holding them in place. They had gotten them made for her months ago for when she was ready to choose her birthday, but gave them to her this afternoon after losing her for so long. Each was silver and dotted with sapphires. Noe’s was shaped like a crescent moon. Henry’s was a sparkling sun. Lian’s was a swirl of wind. Ranbir’s was a leaf. Cyprus’s was a puff of smoke. Luca’s was a skull—to Asher’s sorrow-filled amusement. And last was Winona’s, which was shaped like a large paw. She had forced back tears as I placed them in her hair, lining them up to form a sort of crown on her head.
“You would not dare,” I growled through clenched teeth. It nearly sounded like a threat, but Asher did not flinch, her smile not so much as twitching.
“Try me, Elemental.”
Her arms crossed over one another, Henry chuckling from where he stood a few feet away. My hands threaded through my hair, tugging on the dark waves as I contemplated how I would tell her these plans without ruining everything.
“Fine. We can talk in our room.” I held out my hand, eager to get away from the public eye. No one was there yet, but it would not stay that way. She looked back to Henry, waving before closing the distance and placing her hand in mine. We portaled straight into our room, where she promptly tucked her foot between my ankles and then wrapped her leg around my calf, pushing me off balance and throwing me to the ground.
“What do they mean by your plan for The Capital?” she hissed, her fists gripping my black tunic. I felt my cock twitch, and I had to calm myself for a moment before speaking, or else I would probably stab her with it by accident.
“They killed Luca, Asher. We cannot let it go unpunished—I cannot. He was like a little brother to me”—my voice cracked on the words, on the memory of Luca’s body—“Xavier and Mia Mounbetton will pay for what they have done.”
“So the innocents on the island must suffer because of their rulers?” Light as a feather, she spoke, the words falling like paper in the wind. When they settled on my heart, they were suddenly as heavy as a rock.
“We have time to plan. They are mobilizing and expect an immediate attack. We will not play into their trap. Getting all who are innocent out in time is a possibility, but the war will happen, Asher. There is no longer a way to avoid it. I would rather it be on their shores than ours.”
“Theirs. Ours. That way of thinking will bury us all in a grave. Pack up; we leave tonight. I need to find Wrath. He told me earlier that he had heard of a creature roaming Xalie the last time he was there. Seems like we need all the help we can get.”
With that, Asher made to stand, but paused above me on her knees. Sighing, she leaned down and kissed me. On instinct, my hand went to her neck, pulling her deeper into me. The second my tongue slid across her bottom lip, the taste of mint and the smell of vanilla encompassing me, she pulled away.
“I am so sorry for all you have lost. I would change it if I could, Bellamy. Please believe that. Yet I fail to see how killing innocent fae will bring back those lost or do anything other than tie their memory to destruction. You dedicated so much of your life to saving fae in need. Do not let that go to waste.”
And then she really did leave, the sound of her fading steps matching the slow pounding of my heartbeat in my ears.