13. Thirteen
Zimyn sat on his bed, a full glass of liquor in his hand. His body wanted that sip of relief, that drowning sensation to kick in. His mind had other ideas. It refused to let him bring his glass to his dry mouth because it would be admitting that he had second thoughts about everything. It proved that he didn’t want to leave Ludelle alone with these vultures. Mostly, he didn’t want to seem like a sop whose whole world revolved around her—that he couldn”t keep himself composed, just because his heart was broken.
But, it was. He was completely torn.
He reveled in those last moments they had alone together outside his father’s cabin. When the moment came to an end and they let go, it was like pulling the scales from his flesh. A dawning realization that he would never have her wholly and completely like he dreamed.
Thankfully, none of his guards disturbed him. Some rested before their night shift, while most of them were on duty. Ludelle was entertaining the nobles again, one last time before she made her final decision.
Heshould be walking Flix through all his new responsibilities as Captain or packing his things, but he didn’t have the energy to do it.
A knock at his door shook him out of his daze. “I’m busy,” he yelled. Though that might not be wise. The castle might be under attack. Or worse, Ludelle might have a sword at her throat. At the thought, he rushed to the door and meant to pull when someone was already pushing in.
Ludelle stumbled in, light glowing behind her like a goddess of death ready to take him away.
“If this is what you call busy, then I want to know what you look like when you’re actually working,” Ludelle teased, her voice tinged with excitement.
“I’m in no mood,Ludelle,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be off picking your betrothed?”
“Right, of course.” She nodded as she undid the button at the front of her dress. “That’s important,” she replied, breathily.
His eyes widened. “What are you doing—”
She shushed him. “Quiet. I don’t want the guards to hear.”
Zimyn shook his head. “Hear what?” This couldn’t be happening. He pinched himself. He must have had too much to drink and had fallen asleep.
Ludelle huffed in frustration when she slid the gown down her body and it got caught at her feet. She kicked it away, leaving her only in a silver slip. The straps could barely be considered pieces of thread, and the hem reached just below her knees, exposing her muscled calves—ones he helped hone. He didn’t understand why the sight of them affected him so much. He’s seen her legs before, but the knowledge that once she pulled off that last piece of thin fabric, it would leave her completely bare, had his mouth watering and body going tight.
Tears sprang to her eyes. “This might be all that we have.” Her honesty, her sorrow at coming to a similar truth as him, completely destroyed him. He hated seeing her like this. Why must the Gods have punished them to such a fate?
“What do you want, Ludelle?” He rasped, walking backwards until he hit the edge of the bed. Even though he was Captain, his room was still small, a way to create a sense of equality among the guards.
She followed him. “You. Always you.”
“That’s not fair,” he whispered angrily. “We promised each other we wouldn’t take that step until after your Undertaking.” He needed to push her away before it went too far.
“Zimyn, you’ll be gone by then. This might be all we have, and I want you so desperately.”
“I know,” he said, exasperated because it was true, and he hated that fact. He sat on his bed, his head cradled in his hands. Because this must be a dream, a nightmare. The consequences of this would ruin her. He heard her light footsteps inching closer. She must have taken off her shoes at some point, and that made this more real.
“Look at me.” She placed a long cobalt claw under his chin and lifted it up. He would forever regret doing that because the vulnerability in her white eyes—her silver pupils dilated—would forever be stamped into his mind’s eye. His last bit of strength collapsed as soon as she grabbed the crown on her head and threw it on the mattress. It bounced and toppled to the floor. “I’m all yours tonight.”
Zimyn breathed deeply from his nose, but his restraint was gone. He grabbed her waist and tossed her on the bed, anchoring his arms on both sides of her body. She traced the side of his face, then his lips. He took her hand and kissed the tip of her finger and then the pulsepoint of her wrist, where he could have sworn he felt her heart jump.
“Are you sure?” Because she must know the harm this would cause if someone were to find out.
“More than anything,” she responded with such definitiveness. How could he say no?
Zimyn didn’t hesitate as he closed the last bit of distance and pressed his lips against hers. The world around them froze. She dragged her hands along the scales on his arms. He shuddered as he felt them melt at her heat—evidence that only with her would he let his armor go.
He bit her bottom lip, and she gasped. He took the opportunity to drive his tongue into her mouth. Her tongue met his, and she was so soft, so pliant, so ready for him. She reacted perfectly to his touch, in a way no one else could. They fit together like a blade in its sheath, like they were made for each other.
“Zimyn,” she moaned, as he dragged his mouth to her neck, nipping lightly at her skin, small marks of faded blue slowly appearing. “I want you lower,” she demanded.
“Not yet.”
If this was it, then he would take his time, learn every inch of her, so at night as he touched himself, he would be able to trace the map of her body he’d drawn in his mind.
Ludelle whined as he bit the strap of the slip and pulled it down. Growing impatient, Ludelle tried sliding it off herself, but he stopped her and held her hands above her head.
“I’m the one in control now.”
“Oh, you’ve definitely dreamed of the day when you could say that,” she crooned.
“Every night,” he admitted honestly. It was the only time he would allow himself to consider it. His days were too full of reminders of his responsibility as Captain to even have time to immerse himself in the fantasies of having her in his bed.
Zimyn groaned once he finally got the dress down and her peaked nipples were freed from the garment. He could spend days lavishing them. Ludelle arched her back as he started sucking on the right, swirling the nub with his tongue. Goosebumps peppered her pale skin as she shivered.
“I need you lower,” she begged this time, her hands desperately trying to get out his grasp, but failing.
He ignored her, focusing his attention now on her left nipple. Finally, when he had his fill of her breasts, Zimyn moved his mouth lower on her writhing body, pulling the dress down with it.
“I never knew a Queen could be so needy.”
“I never knew my Captain of the Guard was so bad at listening to orders. Maybe it”s time I found a new one.”
Ludelle meant it as a joke, clearly, but the reality of that statement shook him enough that he needed a second to orient himself back to what was happening.
Though, once he spied her exposed sex, his body took over for his stunted mind. He didn’t take it slow this time, instead licking straight up between the folds. Her moan reverberated loudly, and Zimyn knew the other guards must have heard. Damn them all.
She wasn’t holding anything back as she rocked her hips against his mouth, seeking the friction she needed to get off—and he loved it. Every brush of his tongue left him hungry for more. This singular taste would never be enough.
Her breaths became shorter as he pumped in one digit, then two into her soaking core, his tongue continuing its ministrations of her clit.
“Please,” she said as she yanked his hair. “At least take off your shirt so I have something good to look at.”
Zimyn chuckled against her. He almost felt sorry for making her wait this long, but not sorry enough. He backed up slowly, unbuttoning his shirt and unbuckling his pants. She lifted herself onto her elbows, watching him attentively as his cock sprung free, beads of moisture already leaking from the tip.
“Is this what you need?” He said as he pumped himself.
“Don’t be cocky now. I want to orgasm, not feed your ego. I have two perfectly good hands if you’re incapable.” As if proving it, she began to reach, but he lunged before she could.
“You’ve always been so impatient for things.”
“A perk of being Queen.”
Without a warning, he drove his cock into her, and she screamed. Now he could guarantee that the others heard them, but he still didn’t care. She was blessedly tight as each inch of him drove deeper and deeper. As he kept thrusting, she tightened around him even more, until she finally exploded around him. He didn’t stop. He wanted to pleasure her until tears filled her eyes, until she became so sensitive that she begged him to stop.
Ludelle grasped the sheets tightly, her eyes shut. He loved watching her like this. Completely unleashed, but also completely trusting him.
“I’m so close,” she choked out.
He just grunted as he rocked in and out, his pace changing from fast to slow. Right when he hit a spot that had her moaning non-stop, he continued his rhythm until she screamed out again, his own body pleading to unleash itself.
He was so lost in his own lust-filled brain, he wasn’t ready as she wrapped her legs around him and rolled them over until she was on top.
“It’s my turn now.”
She began bouncing, her breasts moving with her as she worked him. She used her ice power to freeze his wrists to the headboard, so he was completely at her mercy. Then she created small cubes of ice and placed them on his nipples. He winced, but the pain mixed with the pleasure of watching her take what she needed from him was so disorientating and magical. He only lasted a few more seconds before he yelled out. Moments later she followed, her body going limp as she braced her hands on his chest.
They were both trying to catch their breath. Ludelle’s forehead was lined with sweat, her hair ruffled as her updo from earlier had fallen loose. As she removed herself from on top of him, and she hissed as his release trickled down her thighs.
“That was—” he started, but she placed a finger to his lips and shushed him.
He got it. He wanted to revel in this moment, too. Two satiated bodies. He broke out of his melted icy restraints and drew her in close, kissing the nape of her neck as she wrapped her body around his. At least they had this night. One he would never forget. One that would forever remain filled with the joy of their connection.