42. Avery
FORTY-TWO
AVERY
“You look perfect,” Maven says, unplugging the curling iron from the wall. “Like a total babe.”
“Is it too much?” I run my hands over the front of the dark green dress and spin in a small circle. “It’s just dinner.”
Emmy tuts from where she’s lounging on my bed. “It’s never too much, no matter what the assholes who try to tell us to tone it down say.” She looks up from her phone and grins. “Shit, Avery. You’re going to make him lose his mind. That color is fucking gorgeous on you.”
“Are you sure? He told me we’re going somewhere nice, and I figured a dress from my pageant days might be borderline excessive,” I say. “But I love this outfit so much.”
“It’s not excessive. Look at your ass ,” Maven says, and I burst out laughing. “How the hell are you so toned?”
“Running. Taking the stairs at work. Getting in twenty thousand steps on game days.” I adjust the chain of my necklace and put on my earrings. “I want to start barre classes, but I don’t want to go alone.”
“I’ll go with you,” Emmy says. “I love cross training. I have a friend who teaches Pilates if you want to try that sometime.”
“Yeah.” I smile at my reflection and flip my hair over my shoulder. “I’d love that.”
“Is he picking you up?” Maven asks, sitting next to Emmy on the bed. “Oh my god, I’ve missed this kind of girl talk. Being married is a real drag. This is so fun.”
“Yes, he’s picking me up.”
Emmy lies on her stomach and gives me another once over. “What shoes are you wearing?”
“I was thinking black heels. I know they’re not practical for this time of year, but I love them so much.” I stick out my foot and show off the stilettos I bought on a whim last week. “Do you think they match the green?”
“They make your legs look fantastic.” Emmy glances at Maven, giving her a small smile. “You’re right. This is really fun.”
“ See ? You’re basically married too. You have Maverick’s handwriting tattooed on your chest.”
“Wait, what ?” I put my hands on my hips and turn to face them. “I know I can’t ask to see your boobs, but I kind of want to see your boobs.”
Emmy chuckles and swings her legs to the end of the bed. She sits up straight and lifts her shirt, revealing a black sports bra. Pulling the left strap down, I see the word mine written in handwriting that looks like it belongs to a man across the top of her breast.
“I, um, like when Maverick touches my neck,” she admits bashfully. “One time when we were together, he said he was going to get the word mine tattooed on the back of his hand so when we were together, I’d know who I belong to. I got one to match.” She taps the letters, her skin turning pink under her painted fingernails. “It’s right where his hand rests when he’s… you know. Cutting off my air supply in a consensual, respectful yet depraved way.”
“Why is that the hottest thing I’ve ever heard?” I say. “Good grief, Emmy. Not only are you and your boyfriend smoking, but you play in the NHL too? What can’t you do?”
“The list is too long.” She holds up her phone and taps the screen. “You only have a few minutes before he’s here.”
“Shit.” I grab my purse off my dresser and shove a tube of lipstick inside. “Is it normal to be nervous? Reid and I have been sleeping together for months. If he told me to strip and lie on the bed naked, I’d be less anxious than I am right now.”
“Because it’s different.” Maven walks toward me and adjusts the strap of my dress. “Now it means something.”
“Yeah,” I say faintly, rubbing a hand over my chest. There’s a phantom ache there, a tightening sensation that’s been in place since he took care of me while I was on my period. Since he held me to his chest and let me fall asleep in his arms. Maybe it’s been there all along. “It does mean something.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever been this excited about a date. Reid’s given me no clues. No hints about where we might be going, but I like the idea of a surprise. I like thinking he probably spent an hour or two planning out the night. Crouching over his computer and creating a spreadsheet, and his quiet, careful consideration might be my favorite thing about him.
My phone vibrates, and I’m swiping my thumb across the screen before it finishes buzzing.
Reid
I’m out front.
Me
Be right down!
“Can you all lock up on your way out?” I ask the girls.
“Of course we can.” She hugs me and motions for Emmy to join in on the embrace. The two of them wrap me in their arms, and I laugh at their affection. “I hope you have so much fun, Avery.”
“Me too.” I smile and grab my coat off the bed. “I’ll see you all later.”
There are butterflies in my stomach as I take the elevator down to the ground floor. My throat is dry, and every step I take feels like the start of something important. Something poignant and bigger than me.
I shiver when I make it outside, the January air cool on my overheated skin. Up the road, I see Reid leaning against his car, and I stop in the middle of the sidewalk.
He’s looking at the night sky, his head tipped back and his eyes cast upward. He’s unaware I’m here, unaware I’m staring at him with my jaw almost on the ground, and I soak up the sight of him.
The tuxedo he’s wearing is familiar, and I realize it’s the same one he wore the night of the wedding. His bowtie is purple, and he’s holding a bouquet of sunflowers close to his chest. A smile—the faintest hint of a grin—sits on the corners of his mouth, and I want to kiss it off his face.
“Waiting for someone?” I call out, and his neck jerks in my direction. His eyes brighten, sparkling under the stars, and he pushes off the hood of his SUV. “Disappointed it’s me?”
“Ecstatic, actually.” He closes the distance between us, a soft palm on my cheek as he bends his neck to kiss me. “You’re way more fun than the interns.”
“Hi,” I whisper against his mouth, and he breaks out into a full beam.
“Hi.” He dips his chin, eyes raking over my dress. I pull my coat open slightly to reveal my outfit, and a soft moan climbs up his throat. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks. So do you.” I touch his tie and the scruff of his beard. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going so dressed up?”
“It’s a surprise.” He kisses me one more time then leads me to his car, opening the passenger-side door. “But I’ll give you a hint. You’ve been here before. Both places, actually.”
“Intriguing.” I adjust my dress under me when I sit, trying to avoid any wrinkles. “You have my attention.”
“Finally,” Reid says once he rounds the car and slips into the driver’s seat.
We make small talk on the drive, catching each other up on our days. He asks if I’m ready for the road game in Minneapolis. I ask how the Titans players are spending their bye week. It’s easy and light and exactly how it always is with us.
I don’t even realize he’s shifting the car to park until he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and turning off the ignition. I look out the dashboard and burst out laughing.
“Why the hell are we at this shitty sports bar again?” I ask.
“Why not?” he tosses back.
“Does the offer to hold back my hair if I get sick still stand?”
“Of course it does,” Reid says. “But maybe we avoid the mozzarella sticks tonight. Just to be safe.”
We’re ridiculously overdressed for the location, and everyone stares at us when we walk in. Reid rests his hand on my lower back as the hostess leads us to a booth, and I shrug off my coat before sitting.
“People are looking at us,” I say.
“People are looking at you ,” he counters, settling across from me. “I’m an afterthought.”
“Not to me you’re not.”
Reid smiles and leans back. “Feel familiar?”
“This is the booth I sat in the night we met. The terrible memories of that date haven’t escaped me that easily.”
“You were sitting there. And I was—” He lifts his chin to the bar, the line of stools in the same positions as the last time I was here. “Sitting about ten feet away over there.”
“You must have thought I was the world’s stupidest woman.”
“No.” He shakes his head and pushes his glasses up his nose. “The opposite, actually. I kept trying to sneak glances at you to see what you looked like.”
“When I walked up and asked if I could sit next to you, you were more interested in your phone than you were in me.”
“So I wouldn’t say something that made me sound like an idiot. The most beautiful woman in the world was six inches away from me, in my space, and I was trying to play it cool.”
“You were my knight in shining armor,” I tell him. “My hero.”
“Well.” Reid puffs out his chest. “I’m happy to have been of service.”
We both order whiskeys and a plate of nachos to share, knocking our glasses together when the drinks come out. He gets the bartender to turn on the Orlando Blazers basketball game and moves to my side of the booth so he can wrap an arm around me while we watch the second quarter.
After a questionable plate of wings, our server brings over a slice of cheesecake and two forks. Reid cuts off a bite and holds it out to me.
“To not being allergic,” he says, and I grin.
“And to good company,” I say, leaning forward and eating the dessert. “This cheesecake is the best thing about this place.”
“Really brings the average up to at least a C.”
“What else did you have planned?” I ask. “You mentioned another place.”
“Right.” He dusts off his hands and grabs my coat. “Ready for the next stop?”
“But there’s so much cheesecake left.”
“We’ll take it in a to-go box. You can eat it on the way.”
“The best of both worlds,” I say, and we slide out of the booth.
Back in the car, Reid puts on the new Ella Wright album, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. We drive west on the highway, the city getting smaller and smaller behind us.
“Are we crossing state lines?” I ask, careful not to step on the sunflowers at my feet. “Do I need a passport?”
“It’s just a quick jaunt up the road. We don’t have to clear customs.”
Fifteen minutes later, he’s pulling into the parking lot at FedEx Field.
“I’m confused,” I say.
“It’ll make sense in a minute.”
He climbs out and hurries over to help me out. He swings our arms back and forth as we walk to the employee entrance, the door unlocked and open for him.
“Does the Titans staff frequently let nighttime guests in?” I ask.
“I got special permission. It helps that my best friend is married to the head coach’s goddaughter.”
We walk through the tunnel, and the stadium is eerily quiet. I’ve been in football stadiums thousands of times without fans, but never like this. Never at night without another soul around.
“Wow,” I whisper when we get to the fifty-yard line. I pull my coat tighter around me and spin in a small circle, surveying the area around me. “I forget how big it is sometimes.”
Reid takes off his tux jacket and spreads it over the grass. He sits down and pats the spot next to him. “Come here, Ave.”
When I get close to him, I slip off my heels and drop them to the turf, getting comfortable beside him on the ground. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but whatever it is, I know it’s going to be perfect.
Because it’s him.
“Thank you for tonight,” I say, looking up at him. “It was the best first date I’ve ever had.”
“No one puked, so I think we can consider it a win.” He leans back on an elbow, his legs stretched out in front of him. I mimic his pose and scoot closer to him, a hand on his chest. “I had a motive for taking you there. For bringing you here.”
“It wasn’t to indulge in shitty food?” I ask. “I’m shocked.”
Reid laughs, his breath warm on my cheek. “It was shitty, wasn’t it?”
“The company made up for it. So why am I in enemy territory?”
“Because this…” He hesitates and takes my hand in his. He traces over my knuckles and down to my wrist, his touch resting on the pulse point he finds there. “This is where I started to fall for you, and I haven’t been able to stop.”
“What?” I whisper.
I know my feelings for him aren’t one-sided; he told me as much the other night when he was taking care of me.
But falling for you sounds a lot like falling in love with you , and that might be my favorite thing he’s ever said.
“You made work fun. You had me checking my phone every fifteen minutes, obsessing over what you might say and how I would answer. I made spreadsheets where I tried to figure out your schedule. My friends gave me so much shit. They said I had a crush. They said you were the only one who could hold my attention. I denied having any sort of feelings for you. You were the bane of my existence. My biggest pet peeve. My eye twitched when they mentioned you, but then it all made sense. Hating you felt a lot like?—”
The rest of the sentence hangs between us, heavy and unsaid.
Loving you .
“And what do you think about me now?” I ask.
“I couldn’t hate you if I tried.” He rubs my arm and his smile is full of hope. “I took you to that shitty sports bar, Avery, because I… I don’t want you to go on dates with anyone else. I don’t want you to give your attention to anyone else. I’ve never, ever taken anything for myself, but with you, I want to. I’m greedy. I want more, and I’m going to keep being greedy for as long as you’ll let me.”
“You don’t have to be greedy,” I say, and he hangs on to my every word. “I’m giving you all that I have. Willingly. I want you to have it. I want you to have all of it.”
The three blistering words remain unsaid, but I’m close to blurting them out. I’m close to screaming them.
But maybe tonight isn’t about that. Maybe tonight is about sharing everything else. The smaller things that make up the big declaration. Like the way he kisses my forehead. How he pulls me into his lap, rocking me in his arms while whispering in my ear how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to be here with me.
When he takes me home and stands in the entrance of my apartment, his hand slipping under my dress and a tremble to his touch. I drag him to my bedroom and straddle him, desperate to feel him.
I fumble with his zipper and he struggles with my dress. When I sink onto him, nothing between us but the night sky outside the windows and the stars, I know this is different.
This isn’t fucking.
This isn’t strangers who don’t know a thing about each other.
It’s two people who know each other like the back of their hands.
Tender and quiet, a shift from normal.
Patient and slow, neither wanting to rush to be the first to finish.
It’s indulgent and soul-crushing.
It’s love, and when he cradles my cheek against his palm, the softest look of adoration in his eyes, I know I’ll never be the same.