Chapter Six
Kade
Alex”s voice echoes in my head as we both crunch down on fried chicken, but none of the noise or the sound or the sensations of this place can drown out the memory of Emma’s lips almost touching mine.
I”ve been dodging the club since that night, but it”s like there”s a magnetic pull to the place. Or more accurately, I’m pulled toward her.
Across the table, Alex shovels a forkful of coleslaw into his mouth, blissfully unaware of the push and pull of emotions raging inside me.
As if he”s reading my mind he begins to talk about her. “Emma’s been off lately,” he says between bites, and my attention snaps back to him. Concern floods his voice in the way only a brother can talk about a little sister.
Guilt fills me as I wonder if I’m the reason. “Off?” I ask, pretending the word doesn”t tighten my chest.
He nods. “I think she might be mad at me for leaving the other night.”
The pain in my gut hits harder. “What makes you think so?”
He shrugs both shoulders, studying a crispy piece of chicken before answering. “She’s been quieter.”With a frown, he wipes his mouth with a napkin, still focused on his food like it’s hiding the answers. “Shorter tempered, too.”
His words make me feel more awful. I hate the thought of Emma”s bright eyes dimmed and her usual energy gone. It doesn”t sit right with me, knowing I”m partly to blame.
“Nothing I do or say seems to get through to her. It”s almost like she doesn’t see me anymore.” The dejected droop of his shoulders tells me things are serious. But what can I do about that?
“That does seem pretty strange.” I try to pretend to be somewhat nonchalant. “Maybe she’s sick?”
Alex shakes his head. “She”s also been fixing things around the club.” His expression fills with guilt. “I know it”s my job, but for some reason she just took it over.”
Oh, there”s a reason. Being stuck in the walk-in must have had a serious effect on her. “Well, has she said anything about it?” I hate that I know more than I”m letting on, but I don”t see any gain in letting Alex in on what happened when he was gone.
He shakes his head.
The image of her taking charge and getting things done flashes in my mind, her expression all focused and furrowed brows. The mental picture does strange things to my pulse.
“Damn, though.”Alex shakes his head. “She”s got to chill out. She’s freaking me out.”
“I can tell,” I say, though part of me—a reckless, hungry part—wants to see her fired up, wants to be the reason she’s grabbing life by the horns and refusing to let anything happen without her signing off first.
Even so, I just can’t shake the feeling of her wrists under my palms, the heat from her skin, the softness of her curves against my body... The memory is like a live wire in my blood.
“Anyway,” Alex says, licking a fingertip and picking up every crispy bit of chicken breading on his plate, “thanks for the lunch, man.”
“Yeah, of course,” I say, tuning out his responses as he stands up.
“I have to get back to work,” he says, an apologetic note in his voice.
I wave away his concern with one hand. “That’s fine - go on.” I’m going to stay for a few moments. And I watch him leave, my mind already racing ahead, plotting how to get back into her life and under her skin. I want Emma to tell me what’s going through that pretty little head of hers. Did our almost kiss really change everything for her?
Beyond that, as much as I try to avoid her, I know I”ll keep coming back. I’m an addict and she’s my fix.
When I finally leave, my mind shifts to autopilot as I try to decide on my next move. It’s her day off, so she won’t be at the club. Maybe that means she’ll be at her apartment. I know the address because Alex had given it to me back when he thought he might need someone he trusted to check in on her.
Man, that doesn”t feel good. He trusts me, and here I am wanting to do indecent things with her.
I park, finding myself outside her place. Surprised, but unwilling to pass up this opportunity, I cut the engine and get out of my car.
The bell above her apartment door chimes as I knock.My heart hammers away, echoing the sound of my knuckles on the wood. The door swings open, and there she is—Emma, looking like she”s seen a ghost. She blocks the narrow opening of the door with her body as one hand comes up to hold her throat.
“Hey,” I say, but her eyes are wide, nervous, and tick from me to something behind her.
“Why are you here?” she asks, her voice low and measured.
“Your brother”s worried about you,” I say, forcing a grin. “Thought I”d check in. And, you know, make amends.”
“Make amends...” She seems confused for a moment, then nods once. “Okay. Done. Thanks.” With that, she moves back a few inches, and the door begins to close. I’m so stunned I don’t form a thought - much less words - before the door clicks closed.
“Wait.” I knock again, hoping she can’t hear the urgency in my knuckles.
The door opens, once again just enough for her to squeeze her body in like a cork stopper to a wine bottle. Irritation shimmers in her eyes, and I can’t help but wonder what I’m missing. I rise up on tiptoe as if I can see over her, but she steps back and closes the door all but a few inches.
“Can I come in?” I ask.
Her gaze flits behind her, telling me the truth even if her lips refuse to. With a silent shake of her head, I”m left wondering what she’s hiding... and who she’s with.
“Emma,” I say, sensing another presence—something, someone, lurking just beyond my line of sight. Jealousy claws up my throat, uninvited and fierce. It”s irrational, this feeling; she doesn”t belong to me.
But damn if I don”t want her to.
I lean against her doorframe, trying to keep the mood light. “You alone in there? Blink twice if you”re in trouble.” The line is stale, plucked from a hundred old movies, but I toss it out, anyway.
Emma rolls her eyes, the exasperation clear even through those baby blues that always seem to see right through me. And she opens the door a bit more, positioning her body half-out of the apartment, blocking the view inside like she”s guarding some state secret.
“I”m fine, Kade,” she says, and there”s a snap in her voice, a bite that wasn”t there before. Almost like my presence and comments are unwelcome. Her tone is a slap in the face, and I try to regain my balance.
“Okay,” I say, ready to ask for clarification, but she”s already shutting me out, closing the door with a finality that feels like a punch to the gut.
I knock again. I can”t help myself. It”s like I”m hooked on this push and pull between us. The door inches open and Emma’s there, frustration etched into every inch of her features. She”s running out of patience, and I know I should back off, but I don”t.
I can’t.
“Can we talk? About the other night?” My voice is rough around the edges, and I”m practically begging. Desperation isn”t a good look on anyone, especially not on me. It’s also an alien feeling - I’ve never had to beg for a damn thing in life, so why am I starting now?
She doesn”t say anything at first, just stares down at the ground, her shoulders hunched like she wants to disappear into herself. When she finally looks up, there’s something uncertain and almost vulnerable in her gaze.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says, and her fingers twitch like she”s ready to close the door again.
“Emma, please—” But she”s already closed it, the soft click of the latch echoing in the empty alcove of a stoop before her apartment, leaving me staring at the wooden barrier between us and wondering what’s going on. Worry fills me. What is going on?
A sickening feeling in the pit of my gut and an internal whisper leave me feeling sick. She’s with someone. Right now. And she doesn”t want me to know.
The quiet that follows is loud, filling my head in a deafening manner that has me feeling hollow, like an echo of a human being.
I have no right to feel possessive of her, but I do.
She’s not mine, but I want her to be.
This thing between us, this attraction—it”s potent, dangerous, even. And it”s only getting harder to ignore with every passing second.
I lift my knuckles and knock again. This will be the last time, I promise myself. But I know I’m lying. The wood under my knuckles leaves my hand aching, but I don”t give a damn.
The door jerks open and I’m met with Emma’s blazing eyes. There’s a sharp air of rising anger in her, and something else I can”t quite place. “What now, Kade?” The words sound like a challenge thrown between us.
“Clearing the air seems like a good idea,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. “According to Alex, you’ve been off since that night.”
“Alex is an idiot. And so are you.” Her words are quick and dismissive, but they don”t match the flush creeping up her neck. Her words don’t hide her fear... or the feelings welling up in her. I can see the heat in her eyes, the excitement in the set of her lips as she remembers that night with me.
“Am I?”
She nods. “Nothing happened. Get over yourself.”
I lean in closer, lowering my voice as her eyes widen and she takes a deep breath, freezing like I’ll lose track of her if she’s still enough. “Didn’t it, though? My hands on your wrists, your back against the wall. We were close, Emma. So damn close. I could have kissed you. What then?”
Her breath catches. She sighs a long, heavy, exhale and for a second, her guard drops. Her pulse dances in her throat, her eyes sparkle with need, and her trembling hands betray her calm facade.
“Go away, Kade.” The words are almost a whisper as her blue eyes dart away from mine like she can’t face me... or the truth.
“Emma—”
“No, Kade.” The words are firmer now, as if she’s made up her mind, without even considering my thoughts.
The door swings shut again.
I stand there, fist raised mid-knock, suspended in place as I hesitate. Walking away feels like giving up. Continuing isn’t going to get me anywhere - she’s made that clear. I turn, my mind racing.
She wasn’t alone. Any idiot could see that. But she didn’t seem to be in trouble or afraid. She just seemed annoyed with me.
So who was in there with her?
Obviously someone she didn’t want me to know about. That only really leaves one option in my mind, and my jaw tightens at the thought of her with some other guy. Someone else’s hands on her, their lips touching her body, their...
I halt the line of thinking, gritting my teeth so hard my jaw aches.
It shouldn”t matter who she’s with, even if any are being intimate. It shouldn’t matter. She”s not mine. But every cell in my body screams otherwise. She may not be mine, but I want her for myself.
“Damn it,” I say under my breath. I make my way to my car, the sound of my own footsteps drowned out by the rapid drumming of my heart. What the hell am I going to do now?