Chapter 16
“T hat looked intense,” I smile at Wade when he steps onto the porch. He sits down on the step beside me and taking off his hat, he rests his elbows back, and blows out a breath.
“Tired?” I smirk. We were having a pretty good time last night until Garrett showed up and killed the party. Wade has something about him that draws people in. He’s fun-loving and carefree, but I can sense that underneath all his smiles he can be vulnerable, too.
“He likes you, you know?” We both watch Garrett come out of the stable, leading Thunder, and the look he gives us across the yard as he mounts him, suggests that he’s fully aware we’re talking about him.
“I like him, too.” It feels surprisingly good to admit that out loud. I’m still angsty from what happened in the shower this morning. The heat between us, and the need he’s left inside me, is beyond frustrating and the fact he wasn’t at the breakfast table earlier pisses me off, too.
“Pops called earlier, said him and ya mom are on their way back. They want us to have a family dinner tonight.”
“That’ll be interesting.” I look at Wade, and we both laugh.
“Just give him time. He needs to figure his head out. It’s tough when you like someone, and you can’t have ‘em.”
“You sound like you're talking from experience.” I take a sip of my coffee and can’t help being intrigued. Wade could have any girl he wants. He’s handsome, charming and rides the rodeo, for god’s sake.
“Yeah, I got experience in it.” He sighs and focuses on the hand that’s playing with the rim of his hat.
“Wanna talk about it?” I offer.
“Not today. Today I wanna ride this pounding outta my head. Fancy saddling up? I’ll take ya somewhere real pretty.” I like that he’s smiling again, and seeing as Garrett’s made it clear he wants to avoid me, I decide I should take him up on his offer.
* * *
I have to canter pretty fast to keep up with Wade, and it takes about an hour before he stops at the edge of the river and dismounts his horse.
I’ve never explored the north side of the ranch before, and I’m speechless when I take in my surroundings.
The open grass around us goes on for miles, and the mountains in the distance are the perfect backdrop.
We’re on the other side of the ridge that Garrett took me to a few weeks ago, and when I close my eyes, the only thing I hear is the sound of the water rushing down the river.
“This, right here, is everything he fights for. I thought, if you saw it, you might understand. Hell, sometimes we all need a reminder.”
“It’s beautiful,” I open my eyes and take it all in again.
There’s nothing but fields, mountains and trees.
No boundaries. It reminds me of being a kid again, when there were no obstacles and no limits.
I’ve always liked to draw or paint. I can go anywhere I want when I have a brush or a pencil in my hand.
And looking out at all the open space around me, makes me feel like I could ride Darcy all the way to the end of the earth.
“It is, but it can also be a curse to a man like Garrett,” Wade leads his horse to the water’s edge so it can drink, and I slide off my saddle to lead Darcy there, too.
“When you have something this beautiful, you can guarantee there will always be people who want to take it from you.
You gotta stay on your guard and learn who you can trust. It don't matter how many fights you win; you're always gonna be at war,” Wade says thoughtfully, tethering both our horses and taking a seat on one of the fallen trees.
I take a seat beside him, sensing that he wants that talk, after all.
“A Carson man can get so wrapped up in protecting this place they lose sight of what’s important. I think Garrett’s scared that that's what’ll happen to him. It’s why he doesn’t act on his feelings for ya.”
“He barely knows me. He hasn’t even taken the time…”
“He knows you well enough,” Wade interrupts me with a clever smirk, “I’ll bet he knew the second he locked eyes on you.
Something shifts when it happens. It’s weird.
You feel your heart get shut off from the rest of the world.
At first, you try to deny it. Then you try to ignore it, but it never goes away.
And eventually, it becomes a curse. Just like everything you see here.
A cruel curse disguised by beauty.” Now I know Wade is talking from experience, and I want to know who it is that’s cursed him.
“Garrett’s lucky. When summer’s over, you're going back to L.A. and there's gonna be helluva distance between you. He’ll throw himself into working this place. Maybe he’ll find a woman to settle down with and try to love her.
But there’ll always be nights when the whiskey won’t drown out the pain, and creating hurt for someone else stops easing your own.
Those’ll be the nights he lets himself think about you.
” Wade pulls his eyes off the water, to look at me.
“He’ll wonder what might’ve happened if he got over his own stubborn ass and asked you to stay.
And it will become the torture he lives for. ”
Wade sniffs and wipes his hand under his nose, “Anyway, enough about that shit. I brought ya out here to look at a pretty view, I didn’t mean for it to turn into a deep and meaningful one.
“Who is she, Wade?” I beg him to tell me.
“She’s a breath away, but a million miles out of my damn reach,” he tosses a stone into the water and laughs, pretending it doesn’t hurt him.
“I don’t believe that. I think you could have any woman you wanted. You’re a good person. I don’t know what I’d have done around here, if it weren't for you,” I nudge his shoulder with mine and make him laugh some more.
“See this, what me and you have? It’s all I am to her.
I’m her friend. I’m the one she calls when she needs someone she can rely on.
I ain’t ever gonna be more than that, and if it’s all I can be, I’ll take it.
Some days I think it’s a blessing. She deserves more.
It takes a special type of woman to love a Carson man,” he stands up.
“Do you think I got what it takes?” I take the hand he holds out, to help me back onto my feet.
“Oh you got what it takes, alright,” he rolls his eyes and laughs, before grabbing the horses and helping me back on my saddle.
We don’t talk much on the ride back to the house.
I figure Wade has said all he needed to say, and I’m pleased he felt like he could confide in me.
We trot back into the yard, and I notice the shocked look on Wade’s face when he sees the truck that's parked next to his. I recognise the man standing on the porch. I saw him the day me and Mom arrived here. It’s Cole, the Carson brother I’ve never been introduced to.
Wade slides off his saddle, keeping his focus on his brother, and when I do the same he hands me his reins.
“Take these into the stable and get Dalton to settle ‘em,” he instructs, suddenly seeming distant, and when I see Garrett approaching Cole from the other side of the yard, I can sense the atmosphere between them all.
As intrigued as I am by it, I decide I'm much better off doing as I’m told, so taking Darcy and Wade’s horse, Hooter, into the stable, I leave the brothers to it.
Dalton greets me at the stable door looking equally as concerned by what’s happening, as he takes the reins from my hands. I don’t want to interrupt the little reunion that's about to take place, so I decide to help him.
“She stretch out her legs today?” Dalton taps Darcy’s back, as he guides her to her stall.
“Sure did. I’m getting quite good,” I tell him confidently.
“She likes it,” he informs me.
“Tell ya that, did she?” I giggle, watching him undo the belt strap from under her belly.
“Course not, horses can’t talk. But you can read ‘em, and Darcy here, she’s taken on a new lease of life since you arrived.”
“Shame not everyone has, huh?” I think about all that Wade just told me, and although it kind of explains why Garrett constantly pushes me away, it doesn’t resolve the situation.
“I think you remind her of Bree,” Dalton smiles to himself as he hangs up my saddle, and when he notices the shocked look on my face, he starts to panic.
“Sorry, Miss,” he cowers, like he’s said something unforgiving.
“Don’t apologize. Did you know her well?” I soften my tone, so he feels at ease.
“As well as any guy, who lives in the bunkhouse, is allowed to know the boss's daughter.” Grabbing a handful of hay, he shoves it into the net that hangs over the stall door.
“She was feisty, and stubborn, but she had a good heart. Always found time for me.” He shrugs his shoulders, before moving over to Hooter and starting the same process.
“What happened to her?” I ask, becoming more desperate for answers.
“Ain’t my place to say; just know that it was devastating for everyone. I’ve never seen my uncle cry before, I spent a lot of years thinking he was dead inside, and when he broke the news to everyone in the bunkhouse, there weren’t a dry eye there, either.”
“It must have been hard.”
“Still is. Always will be.” The way his eyes glass with tears make me wonder if Breanna was his curse.
“If you’re looking to avoid the shit show that’s about to go down out there, you're welcome to hang with me in here. I gotta break due, and some coffee on the stove. I promise these folk don’t create no drama.
” When he looks around the stalls at the horses, we both laugh.
“Sounds good to me,” I agree.