25. Marcus
25
Marcus
Fifteen Minutes Ago
I watch Lauren leave the kitchen. Yes, I can’t help it. I’ve been watching her a lot since we got here. There’s nothing wrong with looking, as long as there’s no touching. I can even think filthy things. I just can’t act on them.
It’s unhealthy, getting yourself so wrapped up in a fantasy that will never happen. I’m already going insane. The memory of Lauren pleasuring herself has stained my mind.
With a groan, I cover the salad bowl with saran wrap and place it in the fridge then start on the baked potatoes. I could’ve used the help with dinner, but having Lauren in the room isn’t the safest thing. Not right now.
Not while I’m battling this violent lust for her.
Not when I can’t even look at her face, because if I do, I’ll start imagining those pink, pouty lips wrapped around my cock. I’ll picture her on her knees, taking every inch of me inside her mouth, my fist with a handful of her hair, guiding her gently, coaxing, groaning when I hit the back of her throat.
Oh, fuck .
I look down at the tent of my pants. Jesus Christ . I’ve never been this horny for a woman. The only woman I can’t have. Of all the goddamn luck.
After brushing the potatoes with olive oil, I wrap them in foil and place them in the oven. As I close the oven door, my ringing cell phone makes me relieved my best friend has no superpowers, specifically the gift of reading minds.
“Yo.”
“I’ve been trying to reach Lauren, but my phone keeps ringing out,” Gabriel greets me. “Is everything okay?”
“Lauren’s fine. She just ran upstairs.”
“How’s she’s doing?” he asks.
Oh, trust me, dude, you don’t want to know . “She’s hanging in there, I guess.”
“She’s not driving you nuts, is she? I know how much she hates being isolated like this.”
“She’s taking it well, surprisingly.” Driving me nuts, just not in the way you think.
“I wish that asshole would take the plea deal so we can all get on with our lives. Lauren can’t go back to the city until they’re behind bars or worse,” Gabriel grumbles.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking long and hard about that. We’ve only been here for two days, and it feels like a year. Forty-eight hours, and I’ve already been tempted to screw her.
“Did you speak to Sam about taking my place?” I ask.
“Yes, I did. He’s ready to go once they get that tree removed,” Gabriel replies.
“They moved it this morning.” Information I’ve been sitting on for about ten hours. I wasn’t yet sure what I wanted to do with it. Now, I am. “Let him know to get here asap. I’m leaving.”
“What? No, you can’t leave Lauren,” he says, surprising me.
“Relax, she’ll be fine without me,” I reply.
Gabriel scoffs. “You must be out of your mind to say a thing like that.”
“Oh, stop sending me mixed signals, Gabriel. You were hellbent on sending your dad once the authorities remove the fallen tree, and now that they have, you’re against me wanting to leave. For God’s sake, make up your mind.”
“I’m not against it, but do you know how devastated Lauren will be if you leave tonight? She expects that you’ll be there.”
“No, dude, I’d be crazy to leave tonight. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow, and Sam will here by the time I get to Brooklyn. The guards are stationed right outside, and they’ve been vigilant. Lauren will be fine.”
Well, physically, she will be. Inside… yeah, I don’t even want to imagine how she’ll feel.
There’s a brief silence before he says. “You’re right. Lauren will be safe. I was only thinking of her emotional state because she won’t take that out-of-the-blue news well.”
Yeah, don’t remind me. “Nope.”
“Don’t sneak out without telling her. You’d better break the news gently. I can’t have her biting dad’s head off when he gets there.”
“Yeah, like I’d want her to hate me forever. I’m not going to sneak out before dawn. Do you really think I’d leave without saying goodbye?”
Gabriel sighs wearily. “Are we going to get into this? Sneaking out is like your calling card.”
“With women I sleep with, not with Lauren—”
I stop short as she comes through the archway. From the hurt on her face, she heard everything.
“Uh, Gabriel, Lauren is here. Do you want to talk to her—” I stop again as she shakes her head. “Forget it. She went right back out.”
“No worries. I’ll call her later when you drop the news,” he replies.
I hang up while thinking of a dozen things to say that would soothe the expression she’s wearing, but I already know nothing would be good enough.
“You promised,” she whispers.
“Lauren.” I step toward her, and she raises both hands.
“Don’t come any closer.”
I stop.
“Believe me, I had no plans to break it, but… I just can’t stay.”
“Why not?” She folds her arms across her chest. “What’s changed?”
“There’s a bunch of work back in the city—”
“Liar.” Her brows bunch with a deep frown. “What’s changed?”
I stare at her, unblinking. She glares right back, defiant. Bold. Her expression tells me she already knows the answer to that question. Still, she needs to hear me say it.
I won’t.
“It doesn’t matter, Lauren. I’m leaving in the morning.”
She shakes her head, scoffing. “Screw you, Marcus. I never pegged you for a coward.”
Her silky hair bounces as she whips around and storms out.
Coward?
I move off. She’s almost at the foot of the stairs when I catch her. A surprised gasp flies from her mouth as I spin her and grip her chin, leveling her gaze to mine. “I’m not a coward,” I growl. “What I am is a fucking saint.”
“A saint?” she laughs, her eyes mocking me. “Not even close.”
“Let me explain.” I release her then take a step back. Even with this gap between us, I don’t trust myself. “I’m a saint for listening to my head and not what’s inside here.” I pat my chest. “And here.” I grab my rock-hard cock.
Lauren looks down and sucks in a breath .
“I’m a saint for not taking that precious thing between your thighs,” I go on. The gap dwindles, and her soft breath fans my face. “If I do, it will ruin you. Ruin us. I can’t have that.”
“And if I want you to have it?” she whispers.
Jesus fuck, Lauren . I back up again, my restraint wearing thin. “You don’t understand what you’re doing,” I barely get out.
“Can’t you stop treating me like a kid for one hot second?” she says sharply. “I’m twenty-six years old. A woman. I’m old enough to know what I want. I want you.”
I laugh dryly, looking up to the ceiling. Forgive me.
“What?” she asks then lets out a squeak as I come at her.
Her back hits the wall with a soft smack. With both my arms braced on either side, caging her in, I whisper against her lips, “Be careful what you ask for, baby girl.”
A soft whimper escapes before I capture her lower lip, pulling it gently with my teeth. Need swirls in my stomach as I let it go. Lauren pants, her fingers slipping under my shirt. “Maybe you’re one who should be careful.”
Lauren pushes up on her tiptoes, and with a groan that I feel right down to my toes, she kisses me. Her tongue swipes into my mouth, and all I can think is that this little virgin is not so innocent after all.
My hand slips around her backside, pressing her into me, showing her how crazy her bravado is making me. The unexpected is such a turn-on. I’m losing my shit from her hands under my shirt, pinching my nipples, lips nibbling mine, that sexy purr coming from her mouth. Who knew Lauren had it in her?
I slide my fingers through her hair, taking over. With one hand curled around a handful of her hair, I pull her head back, exposing her throat. She moans when I kiss it, slowly moving down to her chest. Her breathing pauses as I bite her nipples through her shirt. She’s not wearing a bra. With one yank of that top, I could have those perky tits in my mouth.
“Marcus, please,” she begs, writhing against me.
I can think of a handful of things she might be begging for, a handful of things I can’t even consider giving her. This temporary lapse in judgement can never happen again.
She suddenly goes for the waist of my pants and pulls down. “Enough,” I growl, backing off. “This is exactly why I fucking need to leave.”
Lauren re-adjusts her top, her lips swollen, hair disheveled, eyes filled with the same fire burning inside me. “We want the same thing, Marcus. Why can’t we just be?”
“We don’t want the same things,” I counter grumpily. “You want—you deserve someone who’s looking for more than a good time. I’m not that guy.”
“Be real. How long have we been friends? Don’t you think I already know that?” she asks, half amused.
“You’re laughing now until I break your fucking heart and your brother cuts my dick off. No fucking way.”
She shrugs. “Gabriel doesn’t need to know.”
“He’s not going to know. Do you think I’d be crazy enough to tell him about any of this?”
“I’m not just talking about tonight. It could be our little secret.”
It takes me a few seconds to understand what she really means. “Are you talking about a fling?”
“Yes,” she says boldly.
I can’t help it. I burst into a loud laugh.
Lauren frowns. “What’s so funny?”
“I think you’ve lost your goddamn mind. A fling? Do you understand what you’re asking of me ?
“Yes. You fuck around without commitment, hence my suggestion for a fling.”
“Ah, Lauren.” I shake my head.
“I can handle a fling, Marcus.”
Assessing her for a moment, I finally ask, “Do you want to get married someday?”
She nods. “Of course.”
I chuckle again. “Then you can’t handle it. Not with me.”
“There you go, underestimating me—”
“No, sweetheart.” I walk back to her, holding her in place with my stare. “You overestimate yourself, and I’d be stupid to fall for it. On the outside, you’re all confident, but inside, you’re na?ve, thinking you’re strong enough to handle me.” I lean in close to her ear. “News flash: you’re not.”
Lauren draws back, tears filling her eyes.
Regretfully, I soften my tone. “I don’t deserve to be your first, Lauren. Someday, you’re going to thank me for it.”
“Yeah, I’m already feeling quite thankful,” she says, pushing past me.
I turn as she marches up to her room. This just might be my last time watching her walking away like this.