26. Marcus
26
Marcus
Despite how many times I try to convince myself that my rejection wasn’t so harsh, the emptiness in my stomach disagrees. It has been twelve hours since we spoke in that hallway by the stairs, twelve hours since I realized I have more self-control than I give myself credit for, twelve hours since Lauren ran upstairs, a loud sob filling the air before she slammed her door.
Listening to her crying in that room almost broke me, almost made me change my mind about leaving. The consequences of an inevitable surrender is what made me hold firm, though. If I stay, I’m going to fuck my best friend’s sister. After what happened last night, the intense chemistry that almost set me on fire, there’s no denying it. Whatever self-control I have left, it won’t withstand that temptation.
I rub my tired eyes. My slight headache confirms I didn’t get much sleep last night, tossing and turning in bed, analyzing the what-ifs, wishing like hell she wasn’t Gabriel’s sister. If only we could have a fling without leaving her heart broken on the floor.
A slight shuffle makes me look up from my coffee. Lauren enters the kitchen softly, the sight of her tugging on my heartstrings .
“Good morning,” I greet her.
She cuts her puffy-looking eyes at me and heads to the fridge. As she opens it, I go on, “I made your favorite.”
No answer.
Yeah, I deserve that cold shoulder. Still, I don’t want to leave on bad terms. Rising from the breakfast bar, I remove the plate from the warmer. Chocolate chip waffles and an egg over easy with two strips of bacon. Not a huge peace offering, but I hope she knows it’s coming from the heart.
Her head turns as I rest the plate on the breakfast bar. In two strides, she sits on the stool and pulls it toward her. A barely audible, “Thank you,” precedes her digging into the meal. I return to my seat and watch her eat. Not once does she raise her head.
I clear my throat. “About last night—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mutters, her head still down. “If you’re going to leave, just leave.”
“It’s the right thing to do, Lauren—”
“Just go, Marcus! Christ!” she suddenly yells.
Sliding off the stool, I grab my cell phone and leave the kitchen. As I cross the archway, I hear her gentle sob.
I feel like the biggest tool alive as I climb the stairs, though not for leaving Lauren. I meant what I said earlier; it’s the right thing to do. I’m an asshole for touching her, knowing she can’t even handle such a small thing.
If I fuck her, it will destroy the sweet girl I’ve always known. I can’t be responsible for creating a monster.
A pair of jeans, dark-blue T-shirt, and my leather jacket complete my going-away attire. She’s still sitting around the breakfast bar when I get downstairs, her eyes fastened on her plate.
“I’m heading out now,” I announce. “Your dad should be here around midday. ”
No answer.
“I’m truly sorry, Lauren,” I say before I leave.
“Marcus.” Noah comes barging into my office. “Gabriel has been trying to reach you.”
“Oh, uh…” I dip for the phone in the drawer where I’d dropped it right before my conference call. Twenty missed calls. I rise from my desk, alarmed. “Please tell me Lauren’s okay.”
“She’s fine,” Noah replies, and I breathe easier. “Just alone.”
“What? Sam should’ve been there four hours ago!” I exclaim.
“Yeah, he was on the way when he got an emergency call about Mikey. He had an incident on the playground and broke his leg.”
“Oh, Christ.” Gabriel’s little brother is only five years old. I can’t imagine the pain he must be feeling. “How is he?” I ask.
“Gabriel didn’t say much, just that they’re still at the hospital. I expect he’ll update us at some point. He wanted to find out if you’ll head back. Lauren isn’t taking the news very well. Not only about Mikey, but about being alone for an undetermined time.”
I’m already shaking my head before he finishes. “No can do. You go.”
“Dude, I have that meeting with the board tomorrow. If I miss it, our new development might not get approved. Do you want that?”
“Of course not!”
“Good! So it’s settled.”
“No, it’s not. I can’t go.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Noah presses.
“Whichever one you think is more suitable,” I reply, going back to my work .
Noah remains silent for way too long. I glance up from the laptop and catch his speculative stare. “What?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“About?”
“The real reason you came back from the cabin. I don’t believe it’s about wanting to catch up on work, not when you could handle things remotely. It’s also weird that you’re so adamant about not going back.”
I hold his unblinking stare. Besides Gabriel, Noah knows me more than anyone, and I know him just as well. He’d wring my neck if he finds out I touched Lauren. Gabriel would only get the scraps to finish me off.
Noah blows out a loud breath. “You can’t be serious.”
My heart bounces painfully against my ribcage. Is the guilt showing on my face?
He comes up to the desk and rests both hands on top. “You left Lauren alone because you want to get laid. Dude, being celibate for a couple weeks won’t kill you.”
“I didn’t leave Lauren to get laid,” I reply, although maybe I should. Another woman in my bed, and I’d get Lauren out of my system. Harper has been more than willing to be that lucky woman. All I’d have to do is call.
Noah throws up his hands resignedly. “Well, then, you should have no issue heading back, right? I’m already holding down the fort. You take care of Lauren until Gabriel gets back. It’s that simple.”
Yeah… if only that was true.
Seeing the orange glow filling every window as I roll down the driveway to the cabin, it worsens my regret. Even with the guards around, she’s still scared. There’s no other explanation for turning on the lights in every room .
There’s no sign of her when I enter the front door, but the sound of voices in the TV room upstairs pin-point her location. Offloading the luggage downstairs, I go up the staircase. I step through the open door of the room, immediately spotting her curled up on the couch, her eyes locked on the screen, her body clad in a crop top and a pair of panties.
“Good night, Lauren.” I shift my eyes to the wall behind her.
From my peripheral vision, she jerks up, then the TV goes mute. “Marcus? What are you doing here?” she asks, shock lacing her tone.
“I heard about what happened to Mikey, so I grabbed some things and made my way back,” I explain.
Silence.
“I stopped by Gabriel’s and got some of your stuff too. They’re downstairs.” I jerk my thumb toward the entrance.
She stands. Reflexively, my eyes drop, roaming her from head to toe, getting its fill.
“Fucking hell, Lauren.” The whispered words fly from my mouth before I can stop them.
She cocks her head. “What?”
That loaded stare, that sexy top that gives me a peek of her flat stomach, those lace panties that leave nothing to the imagination—I can literally see her shaved pussy, for fuck’s sake.
Tearing my eyes from her figure, I mutter, “Put some clothes on, please. We need to talk.”
“I’m wearing clothes.”
“Lauren,” I say warningly.
She huffs. “Fine.”
I catch a whiff of jasmine as she walks past me. Waiting until she exits, I follow, not trusting myself not to stare at her ass. I drop off her luggage outside her bedroom door before I head to my room. By the time I quickly shower and change into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, I find her standing in the hallway wearing loose pants and a tank top— thank heavens —and wearing a soft smile.
“You brought my stuffed animals,” she says while removing her favorite, the chubby lioness. “Thank you.”
I smile back. “Consider it a peace offering. I just want my friend back.”
She looks down at the animal, her mouth twisting as she contemplates whatever she wants to say. Finally, she mutters, “I doubt we can ever go back to normal.”
“I disagree. We can pretend it never happened—”
Her head lifts with a fierce look in her eyes. “And if I don’t want to?”
“You have no other choice.”
Lauren scoffs. “All my life, I kept getting told what I want and how I should want it. I’m sick of that. Do you know I’ve had a crush on you since I was seventeen years old?”
I stare at her blankly. Admitting I’d always known would be awkward for us both.
“Of course, you didn’t know. You were too busy screwing everything that walked while stupid me kept hoping you’d see me as more than your best friend’s little sister one day.” A bitter laugh escapes her. “I kept hoping you’d be my first. I didn’t realize it until lately, but there’s a reason I haven’t taken dating very seriously.” My breath hitches as she slowly looks up at me again. “I’ve been waiting for you to notice me. Silly, right?”
“Lauren…” Fuck, I don’t know what to say.
“It’s okay.” She smiles, but sorrow fills her eyes. “I get it. You think I’m not strong enough to handle you, and though I disagree, I accept it.”
I finally find my voice. “It’s more than just us, Lauren. There’s Gabriel. Your parents. Even Noah. They wouldn’t understand.”
“And they wouldn’t need to understand if we keep this between us.”
Groaning, I grab the back of my neck. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“I’m not asking for anything.” She stands with a resigned expression. “That was purely hypothetical. Thanks for bringing my things, especially the stuffed animals. Good night.”
“Lauren—” But she’s gone, half-running through the door.
I should be relieved she finally gets it. So why do I feel so down?