Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
F inn avoided people as much as he could, and by midweek, both of his part-time employees had started walking the other way if they looked up and found him in their path. Even the animals were side-eyeing him in the evenings when he put them back in their respective stalls.
He couldn’t blame them. Any of them.
The evening at Sam’s had soured him. Combined with getting cuffed by the police there after that first disaster, he could only imagine what Makayla thought of him now.
What woman wanted to be with a man who couldn’t speak? Couldn’t talk to her? Couldn’t defend her without being mocked?
That wasn’t a man. That was an embarrassment.
He was an embarrassment.
And that stunt with Pepper? Given that Mak’s ex was an ass, Finn looked to be served with legal papers sometime soon, even though neither he nor Pepper had actually touched him or his flashy car. He should’ve controlled himself better. Not allowed Brad Jensen to get under his skin. But he couldn’t stand there a moment longer and hear Jensen talk to Mak that way.
He shouldn’t have done it, though. Finn knew the stunt had probably only antagonized Brad more than before, and he feared the guy would take it out on Mak at another time and date. Because that’s what guys like Brad did.
By the following Sunday, Finn was more grumpy bear than man. So much so, he could barely stand himself. He’d avoided the group who’d rented the party barn for a wedding on Saturday and left clients who’d rented the horses for a beach ride to Jameson to handle.
The guy was an EMT buddy of Hud’s, in training to be a fireman, and good with people and horses. Finn knew the riders were in capable hands. More so than if he tried to deal with them himself.
Normally Finn attended the rides as an extra pair of eyes and knowledgeable hands to keep the novices from doing something that could get them hurt, but instead he’d spent the day going over the monthly expenses and muttering to himself whenever his concentration strayed to the woman next door. Which happened a lot.
Mak had texted him on Thursday, using the number Hudson had put in her phone at the island farmer’s market. The first message had been a simple: Thank you. I’m so sorry that happened.
But the second that came Friday? I hope you know I’m glad to have a friend like you.
Yeah, he did not think of her in a friendly way. When he thought of her, he saw her curvy body and those soul-sucking blue eyes and a smile that brought him to his knees and made him want?—
To not be her friend .
He wasn’t sure when his feelings had changed, but obviously Mak didn’t feel the same. But how could she see him as anything else? Why would she ever consider more with someone who couldn’t speak to her? Couldn’t be the man, the protector, she needed?
How had he even gone from meeting her to—that? Was he that lonely? That pathetic because he’d found himself liking the first woman who’d shown him kindness in a while?
He wasn’t going to be that guy. That pathetic loser. The one who let his thoughts run wild only to be crushed again in the end when his feelings weren’t matched.
Etiquette said he should at least respond to her texts, but he didn’t know what to say. Especially when he couldn’t say what he wanted to.
Now here it was, Sunday afternoon, and Finn couldn’t avoid people any longer.
It was his turn to host the party held to accommodate all the family birthdays for the month, and he knew short of death or a hospitalization, there was no getting out of it.
They all took turns hosting. Everyone except Hudson and Isla because Hud shared a townhouse with Jameson and a couple other single guys, and Isla because she was a live-in nanny for the Drakes.
Hud had worked with Gage and Elias all week, so he hadn’t been around to put Finn on the spot as to whether or not he’d taken the recommendation to go “porch sit.”
Today that would end. Hud was like a dog with a bone when he got something on his brain, and Finn knew an inquisition would take place at some point and dreaded it accordingly.
Finn looked up as he crossed the driveway to open up the party venue and spotted Max atop Harriet’s broad back, riding around like he was king of the mountain as the Highland ambled along the fence line.
He took a picture on his phone and hit Share, thinking maybe he’d send it to Mak so she could show Emi as well as act as his response, but then decided against it and put his phone away. It was better this way. To just leave things be.
He’d just unlocked and opened up the large double doors when gravel crunched behind him. Finn braced himself for his family, but froze at the sight of Makayla behind the wheel of her silver car, driving ridiculously slow up the driveway.
She looked hesitant if her expression was anything to go by, and given how she crawled along, he had plenty of time to look.
His grip tightened on the handle of the door before he forced himself to head her way once she parked.
Mak got out and gave him a faint smile.
“Hi. I…take it from your expression that Hudson didn’t tell you he hired me to bake his birthday cake?”
That trouble-making idiot…. Finn shook his head.
Had Hudson done this before the recommendation to “porch sit” or after?
Did it matter?
“Well, he did, and—I have it. I thought I’d get here a few minutes early to set it inside, and…maybe we could talk? Well, I could talk, and you could listen. If that’s okay?”
He locked his jaw at her words but nodded. He didn’t need her apologies or pity. But he also couldn’t bring himself to walk away like he normally would because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Or for her to think worse of him than she did already.
Emi sat in the backseat, bounding out of her booster seat and yelling for her mom to open the door to let her out.
He waited for Mak to tell Emi to stay put because they weren’t staying long, but Mak opened the door and even grabbed a spill-proof kid cup, handing it to the child to carry before murmuring for her to stick close.
Mak moved to the trunk and popped the lid. He followed her and whistled softly in his shock. His young nieces had had some fancy girl cakes over the last year or so of birthdays, but this one took the prize in his book.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Emi asked, her face scrunched up against the bright sun as she stared up at him, one eye screwed shut like Popeye. “Uncle Sam said it was the prettiest.”
He stretched out a hand and tugged gently on the pigtail closest to him as he nodded.
“It’s heavy,” Mak warned. “Hudson kept saying it had to be big to serve everyone. I may have gone overboard making sure it was big enough.”
That cake would serve them three times over, but one look told him everyone would happily go home with their extra helpings—if Hud let them. And knowing how good the German chocolate cake bites had been? He could see his baby brother being stingy.
“Oh, I also made this for Elias,” Mak said, retrieving a small cake and leaving the large one behind. “I made it all separate with fresh bowls and utensils, gloves. And I brought the list of the ingredients just in case so he can look at them. I didn’t want to leave anyone out, and I know he has allergies, so…”
Finn blinked at the thoughtfulness and felt his heart tug. That was a lot of extra work on top of already making the huge cake.
But how did she know about Elias’s allergies? How much had she and Hudson talked? When?
Jealousy spiked through him at the thought of Hud and Mak texting and talking regularly, even though he reminded himself he couldn’t expect to claim—or keep—a woman when he didn’t respond to her.
“We should get the icing out of the sun. Would you mind grabbing it?”
Right. He was just here as Hud’s big brother—and her friend .
Finn leaned in and hauled out the cake, careful not to shift it too much to the side as he angled it out of the trunk and lifted it to carry. She was right. It was heavy, and he wondered how she’d managed to get it in the trunk in the first place when it felt at least half her weight.
Mak and Emi walked with him into the barn and both oohed and aahed over the interior.
“It’s so pretty!” Emi’s head jerked this way and that as she took it all in.
“It is. I love the twinkle lights along the beams,” Mak added. “Finn, this is truly beautiful. I heard music last night. I’m guessing someone rented it for a party?”
He nodded but didn’t try to speak otherwise.
“Mommy, look! Can I go play? Please?”
Finn set the cake down on one of the food tables and turned to see Emi pointing toward a corner where he’d set up a kid’s area. There were a couple of playground-style horses on springs so that they moved back and forth, along with games, toys and puzzles. That section of the concrete floor had rubber mats down for safety too.
“Just for a minute. And no matter what, you stay inside. The others will be arriving, and I don’t want you outside with cars moving around, understood?”
“Okay!” Emi dropped her cup atop a bench and made a run for one of the horses. “This is fun, but I still wanna ride a real horse, Mommy!”
Mak laughed softly and shook her head as she bent to pick up the cup that had fallen over from being left so quickly.
Finn couldn’t help but notice and appreciate the view.
Mak placed the kid cup upright and turned to face him. “I may never get her out of here. Ever since she saw you on the horse, she’s talked about it nonstop and asked if we can come riding sometime.” Mak inhaled and released a gusty sigh after looking everywhere but at him. “Finn, can we please talk? Before everyone gets here?”
He supposed he owed her that so he nodded, head down as he fussed with the cake box so that it was at a ninety-degree angle.
Mak put her hand on his arm, stilling him.
“Look at me. Please.”
He tensed but turned to face her, even though he felt like heading back to the house and locking the door behind him.
“I’m going to ignore the fact that I texted you and you didn’t bother to respond.”
He winced and fought off his regret.
“And I’m going to focus on the fact that you came to my rescue—again—when I needed it. Thank you, Finn. For defending me and coming to my defense with Brad.”
He started to pull away, but her grip tightened and held.
“No, I mean it. You stepped in when you didn’t have to, and in return— I am so sorry for what he said to you. How he treated you.”
He inhaled and, on the exhale, said, “’S fine.”
“No, it’s not. But I am grateful and thankful you were there.”
He lifted his free hand to adjust the baseball cap he wore and ended up taking it off, flipping it around and shoving it back on just to give himself something to do that didn’t involve touching her. “You…sh-shouldn’t…p-put up. With…that. H-him.”
Mak’s gaze softened at his bumbling, and he called himself all kinds of things, even as he lost himself inside the glacier-blue depths of her eyes, wondering if there was anything else on earth as beautiful. They were the sea and sun in one. Dark and light. Blue and white. He wished he had the proper words to describe them, but nothing seemed to measure up and do the trick.
“I know. Trust me; I see things more clearly now. In big part, because of you.”
She stepped toward him suddenly and wrapped her arms around his waist. Finn froze at the contact and then slowly returned the embrace, unable to stop himself.
He leaned over her and lowered his head until he could rest his chin atop her hair, reveling in the soft sigh he heard her release. The scent of her filled his head. Vanilla and chocolate and—sweetness. Goodness. All things Makayla.
He ran his hand up her back, loving the way her body responded to his, melted against him even more, as though craving the embrace as much as he did.
Emi played in the corner, oblivious to them, and he couldn’t stop his hand from shifting up into the dark hair at Mak’s nape. He heard her gasp as he lightly tugged, and Mak lifted her head from his chest and tilted it back, leaning into his touch as she looked up at him with those gorgeous eyes wide and locked on his.
Beautiful. She was just beautiful. All hair and eyes and a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. He lowered his gaze to her full, pink lips. Felt the way her breathing picked up as they parted to draw in more air. He wondered if she’d taste like chocolate and vanilla. If she’d welcome a kiss from him or shove him away the moment he lowered his head to try.
The crunch of gravel and the drone of multiple engines banked all thought as his family arrived with horrible timing.
Mak swallowed audibly as she hurriedly pulled away, cheeks flushed a bright hue and getting redder by the second.
She first glanced at Emi and then toward the stream of people now walking through the doors, eyeing the two of them with varying expressions of surprise to downright orneriness.
Hudson’s near-permanent grin widened, and he clapped his hands together and rubbed. “You two look cozy. What’s happening in here?”
“N-nothing,” Mak said too quickly. “We just got here. Setting up the cake.”
Hudson cocked an eyebrow high, his knowing gaze shifting to Finn. Finn fisted his hands to keep from throttling his baby brother.
“Well, I’m glad you’re still here. Now you have to stick around for the party. You have to be here when we cut into that cake. Right, Finn?”
Brooks whacked Hudson none too gently on the back of his head as he walked by. “That’s enough of that. You’re not too big for me to knock you down a few pegs for your birthday. It’ll be my gift.”
Brooks continued on his way to join his wife at the food table, deftly stealing one of the sandwiches she’d just uncovered and getting shooed away for the theft.
“I should go,” Mak said softly, flashing Finn a quick glance.
“St-stay.”
Mak blinked up at him, those gorgeous blues searching his face. “Are you sure?”
He nodded, gaze locked on her and certain.
“I-I suppose we can stay for a while. But I should— I should go check on Emi,” Mak said, backing away from him and then hustling off toward her daughter.
Finn watched as Dawson and Sophia arrived and called out hellos with Cole and Ana two steps behind them. Everyone talked at once as they prepped food and drinks and paper goods, making a fuss over the cake and Mak’s obvious talent.
The women in his family welcomed Mak and Emi with smiles and compliments, and if they were surprised by the extra, nonfamily guests, they didn’t let on. But he felt their curiosity and their combined stares, especially those of his brothers.
He could talk around his brothers, no problem, and while it had taken him a good long while to be comfortable enough around the women in his brothers’ lives to speak, he’d eventually managed. Mak’s presence would change that today. At least when it came to addressing them as a whole.
Still, he didn’t want her to leave.
“You can thank me later,” Hudson said in a low voice.
Finn growled. “What are you doing?”
“What? You think I did this for you?” he asked with a cocksure grin. “I just gifted myself the best birthday cake in town.”
Mak couldn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun. Finn’s family had brought an assortment of sandwiches, chips, drinks, and paper goods. After everyone had eaten, Hudson and his adorable niece had blown out the candles on their respective cakes—his German chocolate and her pink-unicorn and glitter-topped Funfetti—and then opened their gifts.
But given Hudson’s ornery smile and twinkling gaze every time he caught her glancing Finn’s way, she knew the cake request had definitely not just been about the cake.
Music started from the various speakers placed discreetly around the room, and Mak turned from where she’d shifted to check on Emi. She played in the corner with Bea, one of Allie and Brooks’s daughters. The two had become fast friends and got along like lifelong besties.
“You’re up, Cake Baker. Dance with the birthday boy,” Hudson said, not taking no for an answer as he gently tugged her out of her chair.
She laughed as he pulled her into his arms and began to sway. “You’re completely ridiculous, you know that?”
He smiled at her and twirled her around before bringing her back to immediately dip her.
“Uh-huh. Don’t look now, but someone is getting all up in his feels.”
Her head whirled when Hudson righted her with another flourish, and she had to hold onto him a bit tighter until the head rush stopped. “What do you mean?”
“Hey, there, brother,” Hud greeted.
Mak watched as Finn gently shoved the giggling birthday girl at Hudson who was forced to release Mak in order to catch his niece.
Finn then wrapped an arm around Mak’s shoulders to shift her toward him and danced her away from his younger brother with a speed that brought a flush to her cheeks.
Hudson’s ornery laughter followed them, and Mak glanced up at her handsome partner to see him scowling over her head. “He sure knows how to push your buttons,” she said softly. “But since when am I a button?”
Mak found her breathing turning shallow when Finn finally looked down and met her gaze. She might not have a lot of experience with men, but she didn’t need it right now, given the way Finn stared at her. He didn’t say anything, but that look?
She blinked and then blinked again.
Okay, then. “Does that mean you’ve accepted my apology about what happened with Brad? You and I are… We’re okay? Because your stuttering doesn’t bother me, Finn. Truly. I’d never think less of you for something you can’t help. You don’t have to stay silent around me. I won’t judge you if you stutter when you speak to me.”
If she and Finn were going to be friends, she wanted him to trust her enough to let himself relax and hopefully, eventually, speak more than a few words to her. Otherwise he’d be miserable anytime they saw each other.
The music changed back to a fast song, and she looked around to realize Finn had danced her into a corner on the other side of the large barn where they were out of sight of the group. Had he done that on purpose? Or was he as…discombobulated as she was whenever he was around?
Her pulse picked up speed, and her heart thrummed against her ribs. She’d been on her share of dates since she’d left Brad, but she hadn’t been interested in the men enough to put forth the energy for more. Dating was exhausting, and she wasn’t the type to go out with someone just to have a date on a Friday night.
She had to like them, be interested in something about them to make her want to see them.
And as she stared into Finn’s gaze… She couldn’t help but wonder what she’d do if he actually asked her out. She could use a friend right now, but when it came to Finn did she want things to be…more?
Was she ready? Interested?
Why was life so hard?
Why would she meet someone like Finn now when she had to help Sam and find a job and figure out how to start a business? Coparent with a man who would never make things easy?
And there was Emi. No matter what she did, she couldn’t allow her daughter to get attached to Finn—to anyone she dated—and be hurt.
She couldn’t allow herself to be hurt. Not when she still healed from the battle wounds of her marriage and divorce. When she faced Sam’s death and the aftermath… When falling apart wasn’t an option, because as a single mom and a caregiver she didn’t have time to be less than one hundred percent present in the moment.
“Why?”
Finn had shifted his hands to cradle her face, and given their differences in size, his pinky fingers ran the length of her jawline while his thumbs easily brushed over the V between her eyebrows, smoothing it away. Soothing it away, at least momentarily. “Why am I frowning?”
At his tight nod, she hesitated. Sam had told her that morning he hadn’t said anything to Finn yet about his illness but that she was free to say what she liked. But was a birthday party the right time to do it? “Life just confuses me sometimes. Why it has to be so hard and bad things happen to good people.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw at her words, and maybe he took her statement to mean him and his inability to speak, but that was only part of it.
There was just so much hurt in the world. In them. Standing between them like a mountain she knew Finn wasn’t ready to climb.
Shock rolled through her as he lowered his head until his forehead met hers. Their gazes locked, and breaths were shared.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she thought he wanted to kiss her. And maybe she wanted him to kiss her, too, but he hesitated and held back.
And while she knew she might not be ready to risk her heart—or Emi’s—she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wonder what it would be like to kiss Finn. “Just once,” she breathed.
A low groan left him, and she glanced up— She’d been looking at his lips?
Had she said the words out loud?
She had. Oh, she had , and now she saw the heat in Finn’s gaze grow to a slow burn.
He inched closer, and finally Finn lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers. She’d expected slow and easy, gentle, from him, but what she got was bold and searching and…a claiming in the most primal way.
He might not be able to speak clearly, but his kiss captured her senses and held her hostage. The way he cradled her head so gently and angled her just so, took every thought from her head as she held onto his muscled forearms and let him take control.
One kiss became three or four— Who was counting when all she could do was revel in the headiness?—until Finn abruptly ended the kiss and lowered his hands, stepping away from her to the other side of the short hallway leading to the bathrooms with a speed that left her stumbling and dazed.
Mak stared at him, lost and woozy and more than a bit confused.
“Mommy? There you are,” Emi said. “I’ve been looking every where for you.”
Finn had one arm crossed over his chest, the other resting atop it with his hand at his mouth, watching them in a way that left Mak floundering for words and focus.
That backward cap over his dark hair, worn jeans and tee did things to her equilibrium that shouldn’t be legal. What was it with men and those backward caps? It was a different look than his usual cowboy hat, but she liked it too. A lot. “You…you have?”
“What are you doing?” Emi asked in her sweet girlish voice. “Are you and Finn playing a game?”
Mak met Finn’s gaze and felt her cheeks warm at the heat and amusement in his eyes. He winked at her, and it brought back the intensity of his kiss all over again. “No, baby girl. We were just talking.”
“Are you done? Will you come play with me?”
Mak nodded, managed a smile—and used her shaky legs to walk away from the man who’d caused them while trying to come to terms with what had just happened.
She might have brought a cake and an apology to the party, but she was leaving with a whole lot of confusion and the realization that one kiss had left her addicted to a man she barely knew.
And curious to know more.