Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
O n Sunday afternoon, Mak held Emi’s hand as they approached the animals’ enclosures.
The goats saw them and immediately let out a series of greetings, and Dash came running up to the fence as well, his miniaturized donkey bray cute as could be.
Finn had responded to her text a few hours after she’d sent it, saying he’d planned to visit Sam and spend some time with him.
They hadn’t spoken since, and things felt awkward in a way she didn’t like. That’s why, when Emi asked if they could come see the animals, Mak readily agreed.
Hopefully they’d run into Finn. And maybe the tension she imagined at Finn seeing her with Brad would prove to only exist in her head.
“Mommy, there’s Harriet. Can we go see her first?”
The day of Hudson’s birthday party, the kids had stayed inside to play. It wasn’t until they’d packed up to leave that Emi had protested and said she needed more time to visit because she hadn’t been able to meet the various farm animals.
“Yeah, let’s go,” Mak said, looking around for the man she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about.
She didn’t want there to be bad feelings between her and Finn. Not when she truly liked him and under other, better circumstances could see them being more.
She loved his quiet presence and strength and the tenderness he showed to his family and the animals in his care. And when he kissed her…
If only the timing were right, she thought with a sigh. And if Brad and Finn didn’t share a past so full of animosity and discord.
Based on that alone, she and Finn would never work. Could never work because there would always be that rift the size of the Atlantic, with Brad making life miserable.
Mak eyed the large SUV parked near the barn in visitor parking.
Finn had said Sunday afternoons were usually quiet as people seemed to prefer to come on Saturday mornings during the offseason.
Like tourist season at the beach, summer was the busiest time on the farm as parents brought youngsters to pet the various minis and breeds. According to Finn, traffic would pick up again in the late fall with special events, then Christmas, and in spring before the summer kicked off again.
Right now, though, the farm was quiet, other than the various animal noises and the low drone of traffic in the distance.
Harriet tucked her broad nose between the slats and waited patiently for Emi to stop giggling and rub her small hand up her snout to the fuzzy hair between her horns.
Dash let out a loud complaint, and Mak smiled. She shifted down the fence a few feet to pet the donkey.
“I wish they were mine.”
Mak smiled. “Animals are a lot of work, baby. And the good news is we can visit since we’re so close, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Footfalls on the gravel behind them got Mak’s attention, and she turned to find Finn approaching. Hudson walked beside him, looking far too smug and knowing as he glanced between Mak and Finn.
A blush filled her cheeks, and she wondered if Finn had said anything to his brother about what had transpired in his truck after the ride home from the hotel bar.
Since she’d sat on Finn’s lap all night, Hudson probably thought things had progressed more than they had.
“Hey, beautiful,” Hudson said.
His comment earned a glare from Finn, and Mak fought off a deepening blush at the surge of pleasure she felt at Finn’s possessiveness. Something she told herself she had no business enjoying under the circumstances.
“We, um, wanted to see the animals so we just decided to come pay a visit. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” Hud said. “We’ll do a whole tour.”
“Yay!” Emi’s sudden cry had Dash taking a few steps back with a startled squeal before venturing close again with a low bray of complaint.
“You have good timing, too. Finn’s got a surprise for you both.”
Mak looked to Finn and watched as he tilted his head toward the party barn. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, though. “Did something happen?”
He took a breath and released it. “Inspector s-stopped b-by.”
Mak blinked at the unexpected news. She’d turned in the paperwork but the woman had said the inspector was running behind and getting an inspection could take a while. “What? Do you mean today?”
“He was heading to the beach and didn’t want to fight the traffic twice,” Hudson said. “Said since it was on his way…”
Mak barely dared to breathe as excitement poured through her. “And? What did he say? Did I pass?”
Finn nodded, his handsome smile filling his gorgeous eyes with warmth beneath the ball cap he wore to block out the sun.
She caught her breath at the news, fighting the urge to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“I passed? I passed!” She couldn’t stop herself from laughing and hugging Emi, squeezing her daughter until Emi’s giggles filled the air. “I can’t believe it!”
“You’re good to go now,” Hudson said.
Mak straightened, her gaze shifting to Finn in his quiet steadfastness. He didn’t seem upset by the news, and she hoped they could move beyond Brad’s connection to her life. “It’s all happening so fast. Finn, thank you so much. Emi, do you know what this means?”
Emi scrunched up her face against the sun as she stared up at her. “You can make me cookies?”
The adults chuckled at the simple answer.
“I can make lots of cookies and cakes,” she said, smoothing Emi’s hair off her forehead.
Her dream was coming true, was at least within reach—thanks to Finn. “I don’t even know what to say. Thank you isn’t enough.”
“Just provide us with plenty of samples,” Hudson said. “That’ll do it, right, Finn?”
“What’s my surprise?” Emi asked. “You said we both got surprises.”
Leave it to Emi to zero in on that fact.
“Come with me, and I’ll show you,” Hudson said as he held out his hand. “Okay, Mama? We’ll just be in the barn right there. Isla’s in there now with Isabel’s son and the bodyguard checking out the baby llamas.”
There were so many things to unpack in that sentence. First that Isla worked for a family with so much money a bodyguard escorted them when they were in public but also— baby llamas ?
But she wanted a moment alone with Finn, and Emi would be well looked after. “Of course. Emi, be good and stay with Hudson and Isla. No wandering off.”
“Okay,” Emi hopped over to take Hudson’s hand.
Mak watched as the two headed toward the open doors of the barn where Mak could now see Isla holding a child. Isla saw her and waved, and Mak waved back before focusing on the man beside her. “I…wanted to talk to you. About the night you walked over. Finn, Brad was just— I know it might’ve seemed like— There’s nothing between us now, and there never will be again. He heard the news about Sam and had some questions. That’s all.”
She’d looked away during her rambling explanation and now glanced back up at Finn to see him watching her. She faltered at the intensity of his stare, but moved willingly when he gently took her elbow in hand and tugged her toward the party venue.
The oversized doors were closed, but Finn unlocked the regular door on the side and ushered her in, silently leading her to the kitchen with a hand at her back.
The wide island countertop was empty except for a stack of papers, and she caught her breath when she saw what was printed in large black letters on the top one. “You made that for me?”
The Itty-Bitty Bakery was written in a fancy, loopy font, with the i dotted by a frosting-topped cupcake in a colorful design.
“S-sophia,” Finn said, lifting his chin as though urging her to look at the rest.
She frowned and stepped closer to flip through the official-looking paperwork and—a check? “Wait, what is this?” She scanned the paper, blinking twice. “She got me a grant? Just like that? How ?”
Mak looked up and found Finn watching her, the corners of his lips tilted up at the corners. “This is really happening?”
Finn opened his arms, and she couldn’t resist. She slid into them and let Finn envelope her in a bearhug that brought a rush of feelings to the forefront. Especially when he kissed the top of her head.
“I-it’s happening.”
Mak buried her nose into his chest and breathed him in, squeezing him tight. Trying her best to ignore Brad’s many warnings sounding in her head that Finn was only interested in her because of the chance she’d inherit Sam’s land. Like it or not, the seed had been planted, and combined with all the insecurities she felt about her self-worth, that seed had taken root.
Finn’s large hand stroked over her hair, and she hated that she felt so divided. Suspicious.
Finn had never given her a reason to doubt him. Brad had given her many reasons. But what was the truth? If she worked up the nerve to ask Finn, would he be honest?
The fear and doubts and insecurities threatened to choke her, but she pushed them down determinedly.
Nothing would spoil this moment. “Thanks to you,” she said softly, pulling away enough to look up at him. “All of you. I can’t believe Sophia got me a grant. I’m just— I’m struggling to believe it’s not a dream.”
Sophia’s job might be overseeing grants and such for a nonprofit organization focusing on support for female-led businesses, but— The fact she’d done all the groundwork for her as a surprise? “This is amazing. It’s everything. I can’t wait to get started. We should finalize a schedule. To keep things…official.”
Finn’s chest rumbled with a low sound, and Mak fought off a surge of instant awareness when Finn shifted and hooked a finger under her chin.
He gently nudged her face up so she’d meet his gaze.
He looked like he wanted to say something. He looked like he wanted to kiss her. Instead he canted his head to one side with a frustrated shake of his head.
“W-worth it,” he grumbled softly, his words an echo of Saturday night.
But did he mean worth the effort of fighting the chemistry between them? Worth the hassle of putting up with her and her ex? Worth stepping into his past and what held him back?
She struggled to keep her composure under the intensity of his stare. She wanted to ask, to clarify what was worth it for him, but couldn’t force herself to say the words.
So she managed to inhale and paste a smile on her face as she moved away from the tantalizing heat of him.
“Um, we should celebrate,” she said. “I-I owe you dinner at least. Come to the house and you can visit with Sam like you wanted to the other night.”
“G-go riding with m-me t-tomorrow.”
The counter suggestion startled her, and a part of her faltered from the suddenness.
Finn and her alone. Just the two of them… Maybe it would be a good time to get a feel for whether Brad was right?
Maybe this was a moment where she needed to put those red flag sensors to work and decide for herself? “I suppose I could. Emi has school, so it would be a good time to try it since she’ll be in class.”
“We c-can t-take her n-next t-time.”
Next time. Was this a friendly ride or more? They were neighbors and business associates, at least for the time being, and she supposed both did things together. Barbecues and work parties.
Maybe it was the excitement of getting the grant and the news that she’d passed inspection, or maybe it was the handsome man before her who looked far too tempting for her equilibrium, but she found herself nodding her agreement. “Okay. I’ll go.”
“Knock-knock, coming in!” Hudson banged on the door noisily.
Mak stepped away from Finn and turned, taking a few seconds to collect her rioting emotions while Hudson barged into the party barn like he tried to wake the dead.
Emi’s giggle filled the two-story building, and soon the two Blackwell siblings and kids in their care had joined them, bodyguard included.
The man looked around with interest, and Mak noted the way he took in the exits, second floor balcony and other places she imagined were security risks if the barn were filled with people.
“Mommy, I saw the babies! They’re sooo cute!”
“I can’t wait to see them,” Mak said, smiling at her daughter’s excitement.
“I heard congratulations are in order,” Isla said, a sweet smile on her face as she stepped forward, carrying her charge on her hip, and gave Mak a quick hug. “Such fantastic news. Hudson’s cake was phenomenal. I have no doubt you’ll do great.”
Mak couldn’t help but grin. “Thanks. I’m so excited. But it wouldn’t be possible without Finn and your family. I can’t believe how everyone’s gone out of their way to help me.”
“We know a good thing when we see it,” Hudson said, stepping up to give her a hug. “Right, Finn?”
Hudson released her in time for Mak to see Finn glare at the arm Hudson left around her shoulders.
She fought off a blush and that knee-weakening awareness that came with Finn’s behavior.
Hudson gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze before he released her, and Isla tried and failed to disguise a laugh as she watched her brothers.
Mak took it all in, her mind whirling from all the what-ifs and is-it-trues.
But unless she backed out before tomorrow, she was going riding. Alone. With Finn.
It’s a ride. Not a walk down the aisle.
Finn changed his shirt three times after morning chores and a shower before donning the first shirt he’d pulled on.
Mak had agreed to go riding after dropping Emi at school.
And even though he told himself not to be nervous, because it was just a ride with a friend so Mak could decide whether or not she wanted to bring Emi at a later date, the ride felt like more.
Sure it was to celebrate her business getting approved, but he knew her acceptance was also a step in her trusting him.
Mak had been through a lot, was currently going through a lot, but she was allowing him to take her out in the woods on horseback and knew she would be safe with him.
Given the things he saw and heard on the news, that was no small thing for any woman to do.
He glanced at his watch and hustled his pace. He wanted to have the horses saddled and ready when she got here to lessen the risk of her changing her mind.
He was in the barn and had just finished saddling Sadie when he heard the crunch of gravel.
His pulse picked up, and he took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to lessen the tension that would lead to a worsening of his stutter. Maybe he should look into therapy again. Maybe… Maybe he would.
Holding the reins of both horses, he led them from the barn and saw Mak exiting her vehicle.
She looked nervous too. But was it because of going riding on a thousand-pound animal or…spending time with him?
She wore jeans and sneakers, a long-sleeve shirt over a tank or tee and open down the front, and had braided her long hair into a single plait that fell over her left shoulder.
“Is it okay to leave my car here? Will it be in the way?”
He watched as Mak shrugged a small backpack-style purse into place.
He shook his head. “It’s fine.”
The f was thick but better than what it might have been.
“Well, I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Which one is mine?”
He tilted his head to the right. “Sadie.”
Once again, the s was thicker, but it wasn’t a hiss but a short s sound. He could deal with that and hope as the day wore on the stutter would diminish or—better yet—go away entirely.
Was it possible? Or would his attraction for her make the stutter permanent?
“Hello, Sadie,” Mak said softly, moving close but giving the horse time to take a sniff.
When Sadie kept sniffing toward Mak’s bulging pants pockets, he had a feeling he knew why.
“Is it okay to give her a carrot?”
Finn nodded and smiled as he watched her pull a small baggie with several chopped carrots inside.
Duke clomped close when he spied the treats, and after feeding Sadie, Mak dipped in to grab another.
Safe to say, Mak knew how to make friends with the horses.
Mak tucked the few remaining carrots away, this time into the pocket of the small backpack.
They’d texted some last night. He’d used the excuse about needing to know her riding experience and now knew she’d ridden a horse once as a kid. They’d also talked a bit about Sam’s health and decline, and she’d filled him in on a few more heart-crushing details, like how Sam insisted he be moved to hospice once he got to the point he could no longer care for himself.
According to Mak, Sam said a man had his pride and his Itty-bit wasn’t going to see her uncle’s man parts.
So once Sam got to that point, they’d all be visiting Sam at the hospice center nearby.
It was another reminder to check in with his brothers on the offer they were putting together to buy Sam out. Dawson was a busy man doing his corporate day job, but he didn’t want his brother putting this on the back burner until he got around to it.
As to riding, normally Jameson or Hud was there to go over the basics with the riders, but Finn hadn’t wanted either of them here for this trip.
For one, Hud would’ve saddled up to come along and flirted with Mak the entire time.
The fact he was jealous of his kid brother’s ability to charm women was a thorn in his side, but it was true.
At least with this particular woman. They might only be friends at Mak’s insistence, but Finn didn’t want Hud flirting with her—or dancing with her or anything else.
It had been all he could do to keep from strangling Hud when he’d cut in at the bar the other night and demanded his chance to dance with Mak. And that hug yesterday? Hud was gonna lose a hand if he kept it up.
Finn waved Mak closer to Sadie and fought off a smile.
Mak was so short he normally would’ve led her over to the mounting block the kids used when they came to ride.
Instead he positioned her so he could help her himself. When she was in place, he put his hands on her waist.
Mak stared up at him, bright blue eyes blasting into him with a rush of memories. All of those kisses inside the party barn and his truck…
His gaze dropped to her lips before he forced it back up and tightened his grip.
He lifted her up and into the saddle with ease, loving the sound of her soft gasp and the laugh that followed. He ran his hand from knee to ankle to fit her kid-sized foot into the stirrup and adjust them to suit.
“Thanks,” she murmured after he’d moved around to the other side and finished with the second.
He gently squeezed her calf and moved around Sadie’s head, giving the horse a quick pat before gathering Duke’s reins from where he’d let them fall.
Neither horse had moved from where he’d led them, both used to the routine and all the riders over the years.
Finn swung up into the saddle and gazed at Mak one more time. She lifted her head to meet his stare, an excited smile on her beautiful face.
He went over the basics in a low voice to try and disguise the stutter that determinedly presented itself despite his best efforts.
“Got it,” she said. “Okay. I can do this.”
He took the lead, and without prompting, Sadie fell into step behind Duke. Mak wouldn’t have to do much as far as guiding the horse because Sadie knew exactly what her job was, which was why he’d chosen her for Mak today.
Mak could basically drop the reins, and Sadie would plod along just like she knew to do.
They made their way through the gate at the property line and used the well-worn path through the woods.
The path wasn’t wide enough to ride side by side yet, but it opened up farther into the interior.
“It’s beautiful here,” Mak said from behind him. “Like a scene from a movie or book.”
They were in the scrub, and from her words, he guessed Mak didn’t spend much time in the woods. But then there weren’t a lot of woods left in the Wilmington area unless she made a point to seek them out in the well-groomed parks.
He glanced back to check on her and caught his breath when he took her in. Mak had her head tilted back, chin up, face lifted toward the sky, a happy, gentle smile on her beautiful face.
The sun peeped through the limbs and cast Mak in a haze of gold as she took in the limbs swaying above her head, her natural beauty enhanced by the smile she couldn’t seem to stop. “Doing okay?”
The words weren’t perfect but better than they might’ve been. Maybe Hud was right, and he’d eventually stop stuttering around Mak. Then again, seeing as how she made his pulse race, maybe not.
“You have no idea how much I needed this. Time in nature, fresh air. I love the sound of the water and the birds.”
Yeah, he understood all of that. He had regularly scheduled groups that came to ride as part of their mental-health therapy. The groups ranged from kids and teens struggling with suicidal thoughts and dealing with ugly histories and home lives, to a group that was entirely special needs. Their caregivers said the rides typically helped calm them for several days afterward.
The difference in their moods upon arrival versus when they left was heartrending, and it made him appreciate his life all the more.
People needed nature. To breathe, to heal, to soothe the chaos bombarding them from the news all over the world and in their own houses.
Riding had been part of his recommended therapy after the accident. To help him cope with the loss of his parents and the rage that exploded out of him so often when the stutter didn’t go away. When the kids at school made fun and he wanted to burn the world down in his anger and grief.
“I googled you.”
The words drew him out of his thoughts with the smack of a fist.
“I read about how you worked at the farm for the original owners as a teenager and then bought them out when they retired. You’ve done so much to expand a simple boarding business, though.”
He nodded and inhaled a slow breath. He’d hated the biography Isla had written for the website his brothers insisted the farm have.
In the age of information, a sign at the end of the farm’s driveway wasn’t good enough. And while he knew that to be true, it still rankled that his siblings had ganged up on him—and won.
Thankfully they’d kept the details to the bare minimum, leaving out the fact he’d first come to the stables to work with the horses as part of his trauma therapy. “H-had t-to be m-more…to st-stay afloat.”
“Yeah, but you did it,” she argued softly. “And the clubs and groups that come to ride? The pictures were so sweet, Finn. You built the farm to what it is now, and that’s seriously impressive. You should be proud of yourself.”
Her words brought a surge of emotion to his chest. This farm had his blood, sweat and tears soaked into the soil, and it made him feel good that she noticed.
He liked helping the kids especially. He knew what it was like to be different. To not be looked at as “normal” and treated as a freak as a result.
“Finn, I want to…ask you something.”
Mak’s words drew him from his thoughts. But it was her hesitant tone that left him frowning.
“It’s about something Brad said to me.”
He ground his teeth, knowing without a doubt he wasn’t going to like whatever it was.
“I-I shouldn’t bring it up because it’s probably not the time—but I don’t think there is a good time to ask so—I’m just going to, I guess. What I mean is— I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to pretend to l-like me or want to date me because of Sam and his illness. Brad said— Well, he implied you’re only helping me because I might— Finn, Sam hasn’t told me his plans. I think he would’ve if he intended to leave me anything when he passes, but he hasn’t, and if that’s why you— If your friendship is because you want the property, you need to talk to Sam directly.”
They’d made it to the spot where the path widened, and he shifted Duke to the left and slowed for Mak and Sadie to come alongside them.
Anger boiled in his blood, and it took everything inside him not to rage at the sky above. To hunt Brad Jensen down and strangle him with his bare hands. “That’s wh-what you th-think?”