Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
T he next few days passed with terrifying speed. The same night that Finn told Makayla she could use the party venue’s beautiful kitchen, she’d started filling out the forms for the inspection and license and drove them to the office to drop off the moment she’d completed them.
Between Emi and school, driving Sam to a few meetings that included an attorney’s office and a couple of banks on Monday and Tuesday, and their therapy appointments earlier today, Mak hoped Brad would call to cancel his visitation again because she wasn’t sure she had the mental bandwidth to deal with him.
Not after her heartbreaking conversation with Finn, when her mind was so torn with indecision as to whether she was stuck in fear and that’s why she backed away from a man who drew her in so many ways.
While Emi played on the porch with her dolls and Max, who currently wore Sam’s floppy fishing hat and stared forlornly at an empty plastic tea cup, Mak flipped through her extensive recipe list for items that would take her first round of baked goods to the next level.
She tried not to get too excited, but her hopes were sky high-due to the likelihood of being approved thanks to the use of Finn’s fancy new kitchen. And while she knew being around Finn would be awkward, at least at first, she hoped they could move beyond that awkwardness to even ground.
Her heart squeezed, and she hated the doubts that crept in, yet again, that she wasn’t giving Finn the chance he deserved.
He’d made it clear he was interested in her. And truthfully she was interested in him. She’d be crazy not to be.
Was she letting fear win? Was she letting Brad dictate and control her personal life because of his threats and history with Finn?
She flipped the page and stared down at the image, her mind ravaged by her memories of Finn and those kisses in his truck—and her desperate need to secure a future for herself and her daughter.
She had to do the right thing here. She had to be smart. Think with her head and not her heart. Do what was best for her future and not necessarily what her heart and body desired.
Right?
The person behind the licensing desk had read over her form and even commented on her ability to use the new facility, stating her daughter had held her wedding reception at the venue, and how wonderful it was Mak was able to secure it. The woman had practically guaranteed her license approval then and there.
Now it was only a matter of time and getting the inspection completed because while Finn was obviously approved for his venue, they had to confirm her permission to use it as a formality and check things off the list.
The powerful motor of Brad’s now-familiar vehicle sounded, and she felt her entire body tense and go rigid as she closed her eyes and prayed for patience.
“Daddy!”
“Stay on the porch until he’s stopped and out of the car, please.”
Mak watched as Emi swung her doll from side to side in her excitement, smiling at the man she loved most in the world.
Mak sucked in a breath, remembering how she’d worn much the same hopeful, loving expression for so long, only to be so badly broken in the end by Brad’s behavior.
Please don’t let that happen to her.
Mak knew there would come a day when Emi would eventually see Brad for the man he was, and when that happened, they’d share a heartbreak unlike any other.
No one was perfect. Everyone had flaws. But she’d learned the hard way that a narcissist was more, and she didn’t want that pain for her daughter, though in reality there was no avoiding it. It would happen eventually. Maybe not for a number of years, but the day would come, and when it did, Mak knew her heart would shatter all over again.
“There’s my baby girl,” Brad said as he got out of the low-slung vehicle.
Emi and Max raced off the porch to greet him. Brad squatted down and swooped Emi up, swinging her round and round with an ease that made Mak jealous.
Though small in stature, her daughter was getting almost too big for her carry, and Mak knew the days of holding Emi on her hip would soon be over due to her own petite size. Emi would be too big for her to carry, and it was yet another devastating loss that would come way too soon.
Mak stood and moved to the top of the porch, watching as Brad kissed Emi’s head and cradled her against him as he approached.
Max returned as well after a quick leg hike, and the dog nose-nudged the door to be let back inside. Mak quickly opened it for him and shut it behind.
“Did you bring a car seat for me?” Emi asked as they made it to the bottom step.
“Not today, baby. But next time I will, I promise,” Brad said. “I came to talk to your mama and to see you, though. That’s good, right?”
“So we aren’t going for a ride?” Emi’s disappointment was evident.
“Not today.”
“But you said that last time,” Emi pouted.
“How about I stay here for a bit?”
Mak felt her body go up in flames of irritation. “Brad,” she said in a low voice.
“I know, I know, I can’t stay long,” he said, sliding her a glance. “I just need a few minutes. Surely you can give me that before you make me leave, even though it’s my night with Emi.”
Her hands fisted, and her nails bit painfully into her palms. “It isn’t my fault you bought a car that isn’t appropriate for her, so please do not blame that on me. It isn’t fair to me.”
Brad’s expression tightened, and she knew it was because she had corrected him in front of Emi instead of waiting to do it privately. But she wasn’t sorry.
Emi shouldn’t be involved in their quarrels, but Mak wouldn’t stand there and allow Brad to blame her when he could easily borrow a vehicle from his parents or a friend or buy an inexpensive second vehicle to use when he needed one for Emi. He could afford it, especially since he wasn’t paying spousal support the way he was supposed to.
As Zoey had said, Mak refused to make excuses for him a moment longer. Those days were over.
“Mommy?”
Emi’s tone held her every ounce of her uncertainty and Mak shifted her gaze to her daughter and pasted on a smile. “You wanted a cookie earlier. How about you go inside and get one while your daddy and I talk?”
“Oh, I’ll take some too,” Brad said. “When you’re finished eating, bring me a few, would you, baby?”
Mak nearly shrieked at the thought but managed to hold her anger. Do not engage, she reminded herself.
“Okay, Daddy.”
Brad traversed the steps and set Emi down by the door, holding it for her before pressing it closed once she was inside.
“Can we sit down?”
“You said you weren’t staying long,” Mak repeated.
He narrowed his gaze at her and then walked by to seat himself in the rocking chair she’d vacated.
“I heard a few things today.”
“Well, you always liked gossip,” she said in a crisp voice.
Brad and his mom could talk for hours over various bits of gossip they heard and then speculate on what else it might mean. She’d always found it uncomfortable, because if they were talking about their friends and neighbors that way, they obviously discussed her as well.
“From what I heard, this isn’t gossip.”
Mak crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her hip against the railing, feeling the need to remain standing.
“Is it true? The old man’s dying?” Brad asked with a jerk of his head toward the house.
The fact he addressed Sam as the old man instead of his name in such a sensitive topic angered her even more.
“I can tell by your face that it is.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“Buddy of mine works at the bank and overheard you two in there the other day.”
“So much for privacy,” she muttered.
“Yeah, well, it explains a lot.”
She frowned at his tone. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s no wonder the freak is trying so hard to make a move on you.”
She blinked at his words. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Mak. Look around you. Blackwell wants this place and thinks you’ll inherit it when Sam’s gone. That’s why he’s been sniffing around so much.” Brad tilted his head to one side as he regarded her. “What’s Sam say? Is that the plan? Is he leaving it to you?”
Mak shifted uncomfortably. “I have no idea.”
“You haven’t asked him?”
“No, of course not,” she said, appalled by the question. “I’m here to help him as much as I can as his home-health aid before he goes to hospice and because you won’t pay the court-ordered spousal support, which means making ends meet has been difficult.”
Brad made a face and waved a hand in the air, dismissing her words. “No judge is going to make me pay you for being lazy.”
“You didn’t want me to work,” she said, hands fisting. “I’ve been out of the job market for years. ”
“Stick to the topic, Mak. Sam hasn’t said whether you’re his heir?”
“I don’t believe you right now,” she said, lowering her voice, even though she doubted it was necessary. “Do you hear how insensitive you’re being?”
“I’m just trying to get to the truth. My point is that he never had kids, and I remember him saying once a long time ago that this place was paid off.”
“So? How is Sam’s private business any of yours?”
“Because it concerns my daughter—and you.”
A huff left her, and she shook her head. “Obviously I am not your concern or you’d honor your obligations to me.”
“You wanted the divorce, pushed for it. I’ve never stopped loving you despite what you did to end us.”
“You loved the convenience of me,” she countered. “That’s not the same thing as loving someone. When you love someone, you don’t cheat on them. You don’t deliberately hurt them or cast them aside like trash. That’s not how love works.”
“You’ll never forgive me for that, will you? Even though you weren’t there for me when I needed you. I was going through a tough time, Mak.”
“You changed jobs because of some perceived slight against you when you’d already told your boss you didn’t want the position because it didn’t come with a raise. Them giving the job to someone else was hardly a life crisis that required you to seek someone else. You’re also forgetting,” she said, lowering her voice, “that things between us were so bad because you’re addicted to porn and you—you forced me, Brad. You forced yourself on me again and again even when I said no.”
“That never happened.”
“It did. Repeatedly . And you didn’t care what it did to me. How could you think I’d welcome you knowing what you were doing beforehand? When you took what you wanted no matter what I said? When you disrespected me and our marriage like that?”
Brad huffed a breath, then reached out and grabbed her precious recipe book.
She took a step toward him, wanting to yank it out of his hands but knew attempting to do so would be futile when he was so much stronger and he’d do something to damage it out of spite.
“You’re delusional,” he murmured in a droll tone, idly flipping the pages before glancing up at her with an innocent look of complete denial.
Gaslighting at its best, she mused, feeling the prickle of tears burn her eyes and throat.
“Can we get back on track? You need to stay away from the freak.”
So that was it? Call her names and deny he’d ever raped her and move on? Had she really expected anything else? “And you need to mind your own business,” she countered, voice thick. “Any dealings Finn has with Sam are his own. They don’t involve me.”
“Are you inheriting this place or not?”
An incredulous laugh emerged from her chest. “Why do you want to know? Why would I tell you even if I did know?”
“Because I care about you and our daughter, and I want to make sure you don’t get taken advantage of and used by Blackwell.”
She blinked at his words, then blinked again. “How could he do more damage than you?”
His nostrils flared with his anger. In the past, she would’ve buckled under his questions and fallen for the false concern, but now… He didn’t like her rebuttals. Didn’t like her standing up for herself. Didn’t like her because she wouldn’t bow down.
How could she have been so blind?
“I’m really getting concerned about you, Mak. The way you’re twisting our history and what happened between us is scary.”
“I’m not twisting anything. I’m finally acknowledging the reality of it and seeing it for exactly what it was. How toxic and abusive it was.”
“I never hit you.”
“No, but you did other things. Awful things,” she stressed in a raw voice.
He laughed and shook his head. “And you’re back to that again. Come on, seriously? A husband has needs—and rights.”
“And a wife has the right to say no and for it to be respected. You didn’t. You raped me—and while I realize it would be impossible to prove, that is why you have no say in my life now or ever again, so stop pretending you actually care and leave.”
“I haven’t seen Emi yet.” He flipped another page in the book like he had all the time in the world. “What’s this?”
Mak glanced at the papers he held and cringed when she saw the copies of the licensing forms in his hand.
“The Itty-Bitty Bakery?” He scoffed and glanced back up at her. “You can’t be serious.”
She lifted her chin. “What about it? You loved my baked goods. You literally just asked Emi to bring you some.”
“Just because they’re edible doesn’t make them a business venture. Come on, Mak. You can’t expect your little hobby to make any real money.”
What had she ever seen in this man? “Your faith in me is heartwarming.”
“Fine. You’re an okay baker, but running a business is hard. And what about Emi?”
“What about Emi?” She wanted to scream, to rail at him, and keeping her anger in check was no easy task.
“Who’s watching her when you’ve got your head in an oven?”
“Opening a bakery gives me a flexible enough schedule to work around her starting school next year.” She hated that she sounded so defensive.
He stared at the sheets, his gaze narrowing even more, and she knew exactly what he’d seen. Blackwell Farm’s address. She braced herself with a breath.
“You’re screwing him, aren’t you?”
Mak stomped forward and grabbed the book out of his hands before he could stop her. If he ripped the papers up, she could print more, but the recipe book was priceless to her. “You need to leave.”
“He wants this property, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Even you.”
She eyed her ex, wondering how she ever could’ve found him attractive or loving or caring or—anything. How could she have been so blinded by the flowers and pretty words and not seen the real him? The cruelty and sarcasm and innate meanness inside of him?
“Stay away from Blackwell.”
Because in his eyes, no one could want her without an added benefit? “We are divorced. You have no say in my life anymore.”
“Mak, baby, you’re being ridiculous. I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt by some jerk.”
She chuckled at his words. Too late for that. “You have five minutes with Emi, and then you leave.”
“Mak, come on. Be reasonable. I love you. I always have. I screwed up, okay? I did things I shouldn’t have but— Why can’t you forgive me? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Forgive each other and move on? Can’t we do that? For Emi’s sake if nothing else? Our baby girl needs her parents. Both of us.”
Oh, he was good. Mak watched as Brad turned on the charm with a boyish half smile of fake longing and regret that crinkled his eyes and forehead. He got up and moved to where she stood, clutching her recipe book to her chest like a shield. She supposed it was. Her future—against her past.
“We both did things and said things we shouldn’t have. Can’t we start fresh? Move beyond the past? Remember how things used to be between us?”
Brad towered over her like most men did, but in this moment, she felt taller, stronger, wiser than ever. “I have forgiven you.”
“I’m so glad to hear that, baby,” he said, lifting his hands and settling them on her shoulders. “You have no idea how much I wish…I wish things were different between us. She meant nothing to me. I was afraid of a sexual harassment lawsuit so I had to play along. You get that, right?”
He had to play along? Really?
So. Many. Lies.
Movement to her right caught her attention, and she spotted Finn at the edge of the property. He immediately turned away and disappeared into the tree line.
She shrugged off Brad’s hold and stepped away to put distance between them. “I forgave you for me. So that I’m free . I won’t let the past keep me from my future.”
“Mak, baby?—”
“I’m also smart enough to know if you’re this interested in Sam’s property, it’s because of what it’s worth and you’re accusing Finn of the very thing you’re trying to do right now.”
She knew she was right when Brad’s gaze narrowed and his expression tightened before he fell back on his practiced smile.
“You’re wrong. You hurt me saying stuff like that.”
That hurt him but he was okay with knowing he’d raped her? “You have five minutes, Brad. Then you leave, and you don’t come back until you have a proper vehicle to transport Emi off this property for your time with her.”
Finn had watched from the fence line as Brad got up and approached Mak. He was too far away to hear what was being said, and while they’d appeared to be arguing earlier, that didn’t seem to be the case when Brad put his hands on her shoulders and moved in close like he was going to kiss her.
He’d turned before he could watch it happen, stomping his way back through the path between the two properties.
He’d decided to try Hud’s earlier recommendation of a “porch sit” and since it was a beautiful evening, had chosen to walk.
Good thing, too. Had he driven over to Sam’s, no doubt the couple would’ve heard him coming, and he wouldn’t have had a front-row seat to Mak and her ex looking far too cozy for a divorced couple.
Emi wasn’t even in sight, and the guy had obviously been sitting there awhile, given how comfortable he’d looked in that rocker.
None of your business.
Mak had made it clear all she wanted from him was friendship, so he had no right to feel jealous. Even if he did. Even if the sight of them had felt like the sucker punch he hadn’t seen coming.
He’d held mild interest in a few women in his past, but nothing like what he felt for Mak. It was different. She was different.
And the attraction he felt for her far exceeded anything he’d experienced before, despite telling himself he was destined to be alone. Cursed.
Seeing Jensen’s hands on Mak left his blood pulsing through his veins at a rapid rate, and Finn climbed into his truck and left with no destination in mind.
He just needed to get away. Away from the farm. Away from Mak and her ex and the thought of Sam dying day by day.
Away from himself and how easy it seemed for Mak to friend zone him, but allow Jensen to touch her.
Finn entered Elias’s gym and made his way to the office. His brother always had workout gear on hand, and he’d made use of it in the past when he’d stopped in on a whim.
Finn entered without knocking, so lost in his thoughts he wasn’t even aware of Elias and Quinley’s presence until he turned and saw them hastily moving away from each other.
Elias glared at him, and Quinley grinned despite the flush rising into her cheeks.
“S-sorry,” Finn muttered.
“I’m going to go shower,” she said. “Good to see you, Finn.”
He dipped his head in a nod and grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt from the stack Elias kept on hand.
Elias was the largest of all the brothers, who were all pretty much the same size and build. Impromptu workout sessions were a regular occurrence when time allowed, so they all made use of the stack at one time or another.
“What’s got you worked up? And don’t say you’re not, because I can tell.”
He gripped the clothes in his hands and then wrung them like they were Jensen’s neck.
“Something to do with Mak, I’m guessing?”
Finn glared at Elias, who raised his hands as though in surrender.
“It’s obvious that you like her.”
“D-doesn’t m-matter.”
“Why do you say that? You two seemed really cozy the other night at the hotel.”
Finn turned and stalked across the room to glare out the window. “She f-friend z-zoned m-me.”
Finn turned to glance at Elias and saw his brother cross his arms over his broad chest as he seated himself on the edge of his desk.
“Really? That wasn’t the vibe I got from her about you.”
“S-says it’s t-too much with Sam’s illness a-and Emi b-because of J-J-Jensen.”
Elias seemed to consider that and angled his head to one side. “Jensen would make you an issue, no doubt about it. And I suppose it is a lot to consider. But if that happened that night, why are you so angry now?”
Finn braced a hand against the window frame and took a breath. “S-saw her w-with him.”
“Jensen? What? they were kissing?”
“N-o.”
Elias shifted on the desk, drawing Finn’s gaze.
“More than kissing?”
“N-no,” Finn growled.
“Okay,” Elias said, drawing out the word. “I know you hate the guy—we all do—but he’s her ex, and they share a kid. If you’re this angry because you saw them talking, you need to take a breath and chill.”
Finn closed his eyes and turned back to the window. It was getting dark, the sun giving that golden glow of evening.
“Look, Finn, the friend-zone thing sucks, but if you like her that much, be there for her. That’s all you can do. I don’t imagine it was easy being married to Jensen, and she seems like a nice woman. Give her some space to process all the crap going on in her life. Who knows? Maybe she’ll change her mind on the friend thing because, like I said, that wasn’t the vibe you two had that night at the hotel.”
It wasn’t. The chemistry they’d shared had been tangible. The looks. The touches. The way she’d naturally curved her body into his when she’d sat on his lap, leaned into him like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Despite their height differences, they’d fit together perfectly, like she was made for him. And when he’d kissed her in the truck?
“Get changed. I’ll put you through a workout to get rid of some of that frustration.”
He nodded and jerked his head toward the door for Elias to block it in case Quinley came back during the process. They might be twins, but he didn’t want to give his brother’s fiancé a show.
He quickly stripped down and donned the tee and shorts, tossing his clothes toward the loveseat right as his phone pinged.
He fished the phone out of his pocket and froze at Mak’s name on the screen.
I saw you. I wish you wouldn’t have left, but I understand. Did you need something?
His jaw hurt because he clenched it so tightly. Need something?
He needed—wanted—her.
He just couldn’t tell her that.