Chapter 11 #2
My eyes find Jacob weaving his way through the crowd toward us with such grace. He smiles at everyone who stops him. His energy is so magnetizing that even strangers are drawn to his light.
“He’s too good for me,” I say, quietly enough that only Mom can hear.
“That’s bullshit, Ethan, and you know it,” she hisses. “Isn’t it lonely shutting people out all the time?”
I grunt, unable to deny it.
Because it’s true. It is lonely, but it’s also safer.
“He likes you, too.”
Jacob’s face lights up when he catches me watching him, wiggling his fingers in a wave as he gets closer.
“I think you should give this a chance. You and Jacob. I think it’ll be good for you. For both of you.”
Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything else when Jacob steps up beside us, linking his arm with mine.
“Those bathrooms are absolutely divine,” he coos. “I could’ve spent hours in there just looking at the decor.”
“It’s magical, isn’t it?” Mom loops her arm through Jacob’s other side.
While they talk animatedly about the rooms, I order us drinks and find us an empty space by one of the windows overlooking the gardens .
“I’ll leave you two; I’m going to mingle for a bit,” Mom gives me a subtle wink, then disappears into the crowd.
Motioning for Jacob to step in front of me, I wrap an arm around his waist.
“It’s so beautiful here,” he whispers, resting his head back against my chest.
I look down at him. The subtle tip of his lips, the radiance of his skin. The way his eyelashes frame the most exquisite eyes I’ve ever seen.
He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Nothing could hold a candle to his beauty.
“Yes, it is,” I reply, keeping my eyes locked on him.
“Well, isn’t this cozy?”
The sound of the familiar voice halts this moment between us. I slowly turn around and am greeted with a face I haven’t seen in a decade. His smarmy smile makes me want to punch him in the face.
“Hello, Ethan. It’s good to see you.” Those eyes I used to love losing myself in trail down my body, but now all they do is make me feel sick. “You’re looking really well.”
I resist rolling my eyes. I jut my chin and grunt.
“This is my husband, David,” he says, introducing the man behind him, who steps forward and holds out his hand.
I glance down at the outstretched hand. Does Ian think he can act as if we’re long-lost friends? Doesn’t he recall leaving me at the airport without a single reason? Torpedoing our relationship into pieces without a simple goodbye?
And I’m not jealous of this guy. Hell, no. But I’m pissed that Ian thinks I’m just going to act like we’re old buddies.
Giving David’s hand a quick shake, because it’s not his fault he’s married to an asshole, I try to stamp down my annoyance as I will not let him ruin Samantha’s wedding.
“This is my partner, Jacob.” I wrap my arm protectively around Jacob’s shoulders, bringing him close to me. He rests a hand on my chest, his fingers toying with the strap of my suspenders.
Ian’s eyes widen slightly as they trail over Jacob, before he manages to control his features. “It’s lovely to meet you, Jacob.”
“Thanks, although I wish I could say the same about you,” Jacob says coolly, forcing a tight-lipped smile.
I smother a laugh with my hand.
Ian’s mouth drops open. He looks at me, probably wondering how much Jacob knows and questioning whether I’m going to say something, which I won’t. Jacob can sass him as much as he likes.
“Could I…” Ian’s eyes bounce between Jacob and me. “Could we have a moment somewhere private? To talk?”
I tilt my head. “Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Jacob.”
Ian looks over his shoulder to his husband, who simply kisses his cheek and walks away.
“It’s okay, I’ll go get us a drink.” Jacob leans up and kisses the corner of my mouth. “Macallan?”
I nod. “Thank you, baby.”
Whoa. Wait a second. Baby?
The word just slipped out of my mouth without a second thought.
The small smile that plays on his lips hits me square in the chest, and my eyes remain locked on his retreating form as he heads toward the bar .
“He’s not who I thought you’d end up with.”
My head snaps to Ian. That pleasant feeling quickly turns into anger as I wonder who the fuck he thinks he is. “Excuse me?”
He shrugs. “I assumed you would go for someone more…athletic. One of your locker room buddies since you used to spend so much time with them.”
The fuck?
I take a deep breath and mentally repeat to myself, Do not punch him in the face.
Do not. Punch him. In the face.
“You don’t know him—or me, for that matter. You gave up that right when you walked out of the life we had.”
He goes to roll his eyes, but manages to catch himself and lets out a sigh. “I suppose I should explain that.”
A choked laugh escapes me. “You think?” I spit.
He finally has the decency to look ashamed.
“I’m sorry about the way I handled things.
I should have talked to you, told you how I was feeling.
” He glances around, avoiding eye contact.
“You were never home, and I didn’t want to live in a country where I didn’t know anyone.
I was so fucking lonely! I wanted to be your priority above everything and everyone else, and I knew you wouldn’t be able to give me that.
I couldn’t compete with hockey, and I knew hockey was your first love, so I…
” He casts his gaze over to David, and everything begins to fall into place.
“And he was able to make you his priority.” The words are faint even to my own ears.
My heart pounds in my chest, hands balling into fists by my sides. I should be happy I finally have closure, but I’m fucking furious .
“No, it wasn’t like that. We met after I moved back to England, but it just solidified the fact that you and I were never going to work.”
“You should have told me instead of making me believe you were in love with me.”
“I know, I know!” He holds his hands out. “I’m sorry, alright?”
Sweat beads down the back of my neck; my muscles are rigid. “No, it’s not alright. You knew what you were getting into when we met. Hockey wasn’t a new thing. Fuck, I thought you were fucking supportive of me.”
“I was!” he raises his voice, his arms out at his sides.
“But Christ, Ethan. Do you know how fucking hard it was to date someone like you? I get you have to be selfish in your profession, but everything was about you. We had to plan our vacations around your schedule. We had to plan meals around your diet. Nobody wanted to be friends with me because all they cared about was you. You were so hard to love, and I didn’t want my life to be all about you. ”
You were so hard to love.
The chatter in the room becomes distant. Like I’ve been plunged underwater. The pressure of being submerged steals my breath, pushing against my lungs like my chest is caving in.
All of my fears are being vocalized.
I was too hard to love, so he left.
Just like my dad.
“Is everything okay?” Jacob’s voice pulls me out of it.
Accepting the glass of Macallan from him, I drink it in one swift gulp, grimacing from the burn but welcoming it as it travels down my throat. “Everything’s fine. Ian was just leaving.”
“Ethan—” Ian pleads.
“Don’t,” I snap, dismissing him. “Just go. You’ve said your piece—now go.”
Jacob steps in closer, placing a protective hand on my stomach as he addresses Ian in a tone I’ve never heard from Jacob before. “I think it’s best if you leave, before I make sure you do.”
Ian looks from Jacob to me, frowning. He opens his mouth to say something, but he must think better of it as he flattens his lips and gives a curt nod before walking off.
Jacob immediately steps in front of me. His eyes search mine, concern creasing his brow. “Are you okay?”
I give a small nod, taking a deep breath to try and steady my raging heartbeat. He hands me his glass of wine, and I down it in one, placing the glass on a nearby table. His hands move up my arms, soothing me, before resting on my pecs.
This time, the roles are reversed.
He is my anchor. My calming force in a raging storm.
And despite how pissed off I am, I’m glad I’m finally able to close the door on that part of my past. I’m no longer left wondering what happened or how it ended up going wrong. It sucks that it’s taken so fucking long to get here, but I guess it’s better late than never.
Because now I can focus on this incredible man in front of me, looking up at me with bright, kind eyes. His palms run over the material covering my chest, his teeth bury into the pillowy flesh on his bottom lip with worry as he waits for my answer .
“I think I finally am.”
Resting my hands on Jacob’s hips, I lean down and press a gentle kiss to the top of his head.
“Thank you,” I begin, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them again.
“For what?”
“For being here,” I whisper.
“You’re welcome.” Jacob smiles before adding, “I heard what he said. You’re not hard to love, Ethan. In fact, you’re quite the opposite.”