Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Jacob
“Ethan, can you try and look like you’re at least enjoying yourself a little bit?” Jennifer chuckles.
He grunts, scowling at her from beneath his dark, furrowed brows. He definitely has that stoic, stern expression down to a T. “I wish people would stop telling me to cheer the fuck up.”
“Language.”
He rolls his eyes. “I don’t understand the point of all of this. It’s so pompous, and what the hell is up with the tiny portions? We’re eating meals so small and pointless it wouldn’t even satisfy a mouse.”
I snort a laugh into my wine glass.
He has been grumbling since the cup of soup landed in front of him.
He turned to me and asked if he was supposed to take it like a shot of tequila.
I’ll admit—it’s incredibly over the top and pretentious, but from what Jennifer has been telling me, the groom’s family are quite wealthy, and this is the norm for them.
“I eat over six thousand calories a day. I’m so fucking hungry right now that I could eat this tablecloth, so no, I won’t pretend I’m enjoying myself. I’m hungry, and I want to go home,” Ethan grumbles, rubbing his hand over his stomach.
Jennifer rolls her lips, suppressing a laugh. “You’re as stubborn as a mule.”
“Could eat one of them, too,” he grunts.
I’ve kept a close eye on Ethan throughout the night. Ian was lucky I didn’t throw my wine in his face for the awful words he said, and while I’m not a violent person, I was wishing he’d refuse to go so I could make him.
But the wine is too good to waste on an asshole like him.
Still, I caught every word, and although Ethan was trying to hide it, I could see the pain Ian caused.
It made all the Ethan-sized puzzle pieces fall into place. He’s had his heart broken by two significant people in his life—his father and ex-fiancé—so he doesn’t let anyone get close. He only allows himself to care from a distance, so when they ultimately leave, he won’t get hurt.
Whereas I’m the opposite. I love and care fiercely and openly because I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and they’ll be gone, taking away my chance to tell them I love them.
Luckily, Ian stayed away for the rest of the evening, but I still kept my hand on Ethan’s thigh over his black dress pants, massaging my thumb into the firm muscle. Loving that my touch eased the tension slowly from his shoulders.
I turn my head to face him, watching as he frowns as he looks around the room. When his eyes land on me, that frown is replaced with a relaxed smile.
Ethan props his arm on the back of my chair, his fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of my neck. “Want to get some fresh air?”
“I think we’d better. You’re getting a little hangry.”
He smiles briefly at that, and I place my napkin on the table before taking his hand and following him outside. Ethan leads me down a pebbled path, coming to a stop in front of a pond. We take a seat on a bench. It’s silent, apart from the faint beat coming from the music playing inside.
The entire property is exquisite. It looks like it could be the set of a regency drama. It could have been the home of royalty or an insanely wealthy family where they wore buttoned waistcoats, tightly fitted pants, and top hats.
I can see it in my head. The Lord and the stable hand spending their summers here in the garden, stealing forbidden moments together. It’s very romantic.
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I want to bring up Ian and what he said, but there’s no need as Ethan beats me to it.
“I had a feeling it was about my job,” he begins, his gaze locked on something in the distance. “He was so supportive of me in the beginning. Excited when I was drafted, and whenever I had games while he was in England, he would stay up late to watch.”
I angle my body toward him, resting my arm on the back of the bench and propping my head up with my fist, giving him my undivided attention. “You mentioned before that it started to feel strained once he moved out to Chicago. ”
He nods, his fingers absently toying with the scruff on his chin. “Yeah. He would get angry all the time, but I never saw the signs that he was lonely.”
“But that's not on you, Ethan. He’s a grown-ass adult. Yeah, making friends when you’re an adult can be hard, but it was his choice to move out and live with you. He knew who you were and what you did, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So he knew what he was signing up for. He can’t put all the blame on your shoulders because he could’ve gotten more involved.
People invited him, and he didn’t go—how is that your fault?
Hell, I’ve been welcomed into the fold because of Alex.
I had my concerns, but everyone is great. It feels like a family.”
There’s a beat of silence before I let out a sigh and carry on.
“I'm sorry he couldn’t see what an incredible person you are, Ethan.” I place my palm against his cheek, gently turning his face toward me.
“I’m sorry he didn’t value your love, but please don’t believe you’re in the wrong here for chasing your dream.
Someone who really loved you would be by your side while you did. ”
Dark eyes stare into mine. Neither of us moves or says a word. Blood rushes through my ears, muffling out any sound. His gaze drops to my mouth, and like instinct, my tongue darts out and runs across my top lip.
Butterflies swarm my stomach as Ethan’s eyes meet mine again, silently asking permission. Nothing could stop me from nodding. A meteor could hit, and I’d still want to feel him again.
He leans in and presses his lips to mine. It’s softer than the kiss we shared in his bedroom earlier. The gentle sweep of his tongue sends tingles down to my toes.
My hand runs down his neck to his chest, my fingers toying with the fabric of his suspenders. When I saw him wearing them earlier, I nearly dropped to my knees and begged him to do wicked things to me while keeping them on.
His warm hand cups the back of my neck, and I whimper into his mouth as his fingers gently tug on my hair and I lose myself in the exploratory glides of his tongue.
The next thing I know, he’s pulling me onto his lap, and I’m straddling him. My moan echoes around the quiet pond as he trails his lips down the column of my throat.
“Shh,” he murmurs against my skin, his tongue flicking over my Adam’s apple.
Ethan’s hands grab the globes of my ass and kneads. I roll my hips instinctively, seeking some form of friction as my cock swells impossibly hard. When our mouths meet again, it’s desperate.
Needy.
Frantic.
This kiss isn’t pretend. It isn’t for show. It’s giving in to the mountain of want that’s been bubbling beneath the surface for so long—the one we can’t fight any longer.
I want this man more than I’ve wanted anything in my life. And knowing that this may be all I’ll ever have of him makes me want to bury all my doubts.
To take a risk and jump.
“I want you,” I confess.
“I want you, too,” he mumbles against my mouth.
His hands halt my grinding hips. “But if we do this, you need to know that I can’t offer you anything more than the off-season.
” He leans his head back, raising his hand and running his thumb over my lips.
“And we need to set some rules, like not telling anyone back home. They’ll only interfere. ”
I frown. “Why is our friends knowing a bad thing?”
“Because if we tell people we’re hooking up, they’ll jump to conclusions. They’ll be expecting more, and I can’t offer you more, J.”
I want more, but I don’t push. I can compartmentalize my feelings and take what I can have.
Temporary bliss.
Maybe once I’ve had my taste of him, the crush will diminish.
Liar.
Okay, well, I can try.
“When we get back to Chicago, I’ve gotta focus on my career.
I don’t know how long I’ve got left. I have one season left on my contract, then I’m an unrestricted free agent.
I don’t know whether the Thunder will want to sign a thirty-nine-year-old.
I need to start thinking about who I am outside of hockey. ”
I want to tell him that he doesn’t give himself enough credit. Of course the Thunder will be jumping at the chance to sign him again. I might be oblivious about the sport, but even I can see he’s a valuable asset to the team.
But I swallow down my opinion.
This isn’t the time or the place, and determination is written across his face. There’s no changing his mind.
It’s the off-season or nothing, and maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I would rather have this summer than nothing at all. I wouldn’t be able to live with the what-ifs.
Giving a shaky nod, I run my fingers over the scruff on his face. “Okay.”
“Okay?” His dark eyes hold mine.
“Yeah, it can be our British summer secret.”
Ethan grins. I skim my fingers along the indentation of his dimples. The sheer beauty of him is breathtaking.
“I know we’ve joked about it a lot, but you really should smile more often.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful, Ethan.”
He shakes his head in my hands. “Nah, you’re the gorgeous one.”
I snort. “Just shut up and take the compliment, you big caveman.”
He grips both of my wrists and tugs me closer until our noses touch. Desire swims in those sparkling, dark orbs.
“Caveman, eh?” His gravelly voice goes straight to my cock.
“Mmm.”
He quickly stands with me in his arms and shifts to throw me over his shoulder. Laughter bubbles out of me as he begins to walk back up the walkway toward the party.
“Ethan! Put me down!” I protest with a laugh.
“Nope. You’re mine now. Call me a caveman, and a caveman is what you’ll get.”
My breath whooshes out of me as he puts me back on my feet. He takes my face in a heated kiss, then rests his forehead against mine.
“Would you like to dance? ”
“Mmm,” is all I can manage as he captures my mouth in another kiss.
I don’t know how long we stand here, wrapped up in each other's arms, kissing until we have to come back up for air.
But we never make it onto the dance floor.
We may have opened our very own Pandora’s box and the timer is ticking down on our time together.
I don’t know about Ethan, but if I’m getting the chance to act on my crush, then I don’t want to waste a single second.
“Take me home.”