9
Valentina
What the fuck am I doing?
I just agreed to be in a relationship with a man who has sex with every woman who walks past him. But that’s not why I’m freaking out. No, I’m freaking out because my roommates are going to come home any minute and I have to tell them about my situation with Huxley.
Birdie will absolutely hate this no matter how I put it. Ava, on the other hand, will probably be okay with it, except for the fact that I was distraught after the party. That could throw her off the idea.
I could just not tell them. That works, right?
I groan and pace back across the floor.
No, that most absolutely doesn’t work. Even if they don’t like the idea of the deal, they would be even more upset if it all just happened and they never knew about it. Or worse, heard it from someone else.
Great. So I’m fucked either way.
The door opens, stopping my pacing as Birdie walks into the apartment.
“How was your test?” she asks while calmly digging through her bag.
Right. My test. The one I took right after Huxley dropped his deal on me. The one I almost didn’t even start until class was halfway over, and most of the class was already gone. The one that I’m almost sure I failed because I couldn’t concentrate.
“Okay.” My voice squeaks, and I instantly wince at the harshness of it.
Birdie's head snaps up. “What happened?” Her voice is sharp and to the point, which only builds my nerves up higher.
“What do you mean?” I try to sound confused, but it comes off panicked instead.
This is not going well for me. Actually, it’s somehow worse than I imagined it would be.
Birdie drops her bag where she’s standing and quickly crosses the floor.
“I mean, what happened today?” She places her hands on her hips, staring down at me somehow even though we’re the same height. “Did that asshole try to talk to you again?” Her eyes narrow slightly. “Did Huxley try talking to you?”
Oh. I thought ‘that asshole’ was Huxley. I guess that means it was Carson. God, I hope I never have to deal with him again.
“It wasn’t Carson.” Surely, since he was ‘that asshole’ she was referring to, knowing I didn’t talk to him will make her feel better.
Her eyes narrow even more at me.
Damn. That didn’t work.
I try to explain what happened with Huxley, but no words come out of my mouth. Birdie’s already more upset about this than I thought she’d be, and I haven’t even told her the worst part.
“What did he say?” Her arms cross over her chest. “Did he try making fun of you or something, because I will skin him alive.”
“Jesus.” We both look over at Ava, who stands in the doorway. Her eyes bounce between the two of us, trying to take our postures into account for the situation she just walked in on. “What’s going on here?”
“Huxley talked to her,” Birdie says with a rigid tone.
Ava flings the door shut, dropping her bag next to Birdie’s as she runs over to us. “What happened? What did he say?”
“Can you both sit down?” I finally manage to say. “Please.”
The two of them look at each other. I know they both want to say something about how I’m acting, but they play along and move toward the living room.
Ava finds a spot on the coffee table while Birdie and I sit on the couch. I look between the two of them before I blurt out, “He offered me a deal.”
“Is he blackmailing you?” Birdie questions with heat behind her words.
My eyes widen. “No! Nothing like that.” Jesus, this is harder than I thought. I pull in a deep breath and just say it. “He offered to be my first time. Amongst other things.”
Ava tilts her head slightly in confusion. “What does that even mean?”
I rub my left wrist, but Birdie's eyes follow my actions, stopping me. “He offered to be my first boyfriend,” I explain, clasping my hands together instead. “And everything that that entails.”
Birdie glances down again. “What does he get out of this?”
I unclasp my hands and shove them under my thighs, allowing Birdie to relax enough to look up at me.
“A fake girlfriend so he doesn’t have to participate in his friend's bet.” Not the full truth, but it doesn’t seem right to tell them that Huxley hasn’t been in a proper relationship, and he wanted to see what it was like. Leaving it to just being about the bet seems like the best route.
Ava frowns. “Why wouldn’t he want to participate? He’d get to have sex with a bunch of girls and win money.”
“He said no matter who wins or loses, he doesn’t get any money.”
Ava shrugs. “So what’s the problem?”
Perfect. Ava’s okay with this. Now all that leaves is…
“What’s the problem?” Birdie snaps. There it is. Birdie stares down Ava while gesturing a hand towards me. “The problem is he’s using her to get out of a bet. And, not to mention, she likes him. This is just going to make those feelings grow.”
“But I know it’s fake,” I say quickly, hoping that reassures her. “I just have to remind myself when things get good that it’s not real and I’ll be fine.”
“Wait.” Birdie raises her hand, processing my words. “You said he offered you a deal, but what you just said makes it seem like you already accepted it.”
I slowly nod once. “Because I did.”
“Are you insane?!” Birdie shouts, nearly making me flinch, while Ava's eyebrows shoot up. “You’re just going to get your heart broken.”
“I’d probably get my heart broken in a real relationship anyway. At least when he does something nice for me, I’ll know he’s faking and won’t have to wonder about it.”
“She has a point, Birdie.” Ava’s voice is soft compared to Birdie’s, trying to calm the latter down.
It’s rare for Ava to be this timid over something. Normally, she’s the most confident of the three of us. But we both see how upset Birdie is over this situation, and it’s making all of us a little off-kilter.
Birdie crosses her arms over her chest. “I don’t like this,” she states firmly. “I actually hate this. But if you want to feel what it’s like to get your heart broken just so you can experience all these things, then I can’t stop you.”
The weight on my chest lifts just enough for me to breathe again, but not enough to make me feel good about this situation.
Even though Birdie is technically on board, she’s still going to hate every second of this and will probably never support it either.
And when the inevitable breakup comes, she’ll probably say I told you so.
“So, how does this all work?” Ava asks, already bouncing with excitement, the complete opposite of Birdie. “Are you two going to go on dates or what?”
I nod. “He said he’s going to make it as real as possible. So we have a date on Friday.”
“Already?” Ava gasps. “That’s so soon. Oh my god, we have to get you ready.” She stands, reaching for my hands that are still hidden under my legs. I raise them to my chest so she can’t grab them.
“Last time you got me ready, all of it went to waste,” I remind her. “I’d rather be myself this time in case something bad happens.”
“Fine,” she huffs. “But I’m still going to give my input on things.”
“When do you not?” Birdie adds. Ava just shrugs in agreement.
Okay. This is good.
Both of them are on board for this whole ordeal.
Now I just have to make it to graduation without completely shattering my own heart.