11
Huxley
Seatbelts.
We almost ended before we began because of a seatbelt. I don’t remember the last time I put the damn thing on.
Actually, I’m pretty sure I got my license without having it on. Then again, the teacher pretty much told me he wanted me in and out of his class so he’d do anything to never see me again.
The point is, I’ve never worn a seatbelt.
Until now.
It feels constricting against my chest, and I don’t know how people can handle wearing these things. But Val told me to. She said it was a dealbreaker. So if wearing this fucking choking hazard keeps her next to me, I’ll keep wearing it.
“What about you?” Val asks as we pull up to a stoplight.
I hit the blinker, and it loudly clicks through the air. “What about me, Valentine?”
“Do you have any siblings?”
My hand tightens on the wheel before I realize what I’m doing. I know I asked about her brother, but I wish she had left the conversation there. Not that that would have been fair or make any sense. Because, of course, she’d ask about my family if I asked about hers.
“Yeah,” I barely get out. “I’ve got a few.”
“Can I know about them?”
Fuck.
I love my siblings, and I’d do just about anything for them, but there’s so much there to unpack that I’m not ready to dive into. I haven’t even thought about all the layers that come between me and my siblings. The last thing I want to do is voice them out loud. Even if it is to Valentina.
“Yeah. Um.” I clear my throat and try to think of what I can actually tell her. “I have a younger sister who’s 16. And then there are the twins. Who are only three.”
“Wow. Those are some pretty big age gaps.” I grip the wheel tighter and stare out at the road. “What are their names?”
“Valentina, we really don’t have to talk about our families.” I try my best to keep my tone even, but it comes off harsher than I wanted.
I just can’t talk about them. They’re my family, yes, but they’re also strangers to me. And since Val has such a great relationship with her brother, it just makes me feel worse about my relationship with my siblings.
I hear Val move beside me, so I glance over. Her body is completely facing the door, staring out the window.
Shit.
I didn’t mean to upset her, I just can’t talk about them. But I also don’t know how to tell her that I can’t talk about them without giving too much away.
Jesus, this is only our first date, and I’m fucking up already.
I pull over next to Mike’s Music Museum, the place I was excited to take her to just moments ago. She’s still staring out the window, so now’s my time to fix this.
“I’m sorry.” She turns toward me, but I stare at the seat between us.
“Why?”
I grind my teeth, hoping I don’t fuck up more than I already have. “I just don’t like talking about my family.” I look up at her quickly. “We can. Eventually. I just—I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
She doesn’t say anything, which only makes me want to get out of this truck faster. But then she grabs my hand.
“It’s okay,” she says softly, her beautiful brown eyes holding me captive.
“There are things about my family that I’m not ready to tell you either.
But that’s all right. We don’t have to spill our entire lives to each other in one night.
If people did, there would be a lot of couples that wouldn’t be together.
Not because they didn’t like what they heard, but because they don’t think they’re ready to take on someone’s pain. ”
She slightly shrugs. “Relationships are about growth. You grow together and separately, so you can hold and protect the other person during their darker times. That’s love.”
Can you fall in love with someone more than once? Because I just did. Right here on 11th Avenue.
Realization of what she just said hits Valentina as she tries to pull her hand away. But I hold on, keeping her in reach.
“How do you know so much about relationships when you’ve never been in one?” I ask quietly, not wanting to break the moment.
She shrugs nervously. “Movies.” Then she smiles. “My brother.” She pauses for a moment, then adds, “I think I’ve learned more about life and love from him than anyone else in this world.”
I know age doesn’t matter, and you can learn anything from anyone, but it seems crazy that she’s learned more about life from her younger brother.
I know we haven’t talked about our parents yet, and god, I hope we never do, but there’s something in her connection to her brother that makes me wonder about how close she is to her parents.
“He sounds like a great man.”
She nods. “He’s the greatest man I’ve ever known.”
Okay, there’s definitely something going on between her and her parents if her father isn’t the greatest man she’s ever known.
Wow. Who knew we had that in common?
“Well, okay,” I breathe out. “Let’s get this date started.”
She nods and turns away from me, so I push my door open. I lean forward to get out, but something holds me back. I look down at my chest and see the culprit. “Fuck.”
Val laughs. “You kind of have to take that off first to get out, you know.”
I glare at her, so she bites her lip. Laughter still slips through, and my glare falters. No one should look that beautiful. Seriously, how does anyone function around this woman?
“Hilarious, Valentine.” I finally undo my seat belt and follow her out of the truck. As I round the front, she stares up at the name.
“Triple M. How classy. How sophisticated. How—”
“You have no idea what this place is, do you?”
“Not a clue.” She points at a sign on the door, mentioning a man named Mike. “Perhaps Mike can tell us inside.”
I wince. “He actually died a few months ago.”
Horror takes over her face as she grips my arm. “Oh my god. I’m sorry. I didn’t—” Her eyes fall on my smile that I can’t stop from spreading. She glares and smacks my chest. “Fuck you.”
I mock wince, which makes her pout. Fucking adorable. “Sorry, Valentine. It was right there.”
“So he’s not dead?”
I shrug. “There’s never been a Mike. Some guy back in the ‘80s started this place up and didn’t think his name worked with Music Museum as much.”
Why he thought it had to be all Ms is beyond me.
“What was his name?” She points her finger at me in the most nonthreatening way possible. Have I mentioned she’s adorable? “And don’t you dare lie to me.”
I smile at her attempts. “It was Sebastian.”
She looks back up at the name, tilting her head a little. “Yeah. Seb’s Selection of Sounds doesn’t quite ring the same.”
“I like it.” So much so that if I could go back in time and tell the name to Sebastian himself, I would. “Triple S also sounds cooler.”
Val keeps staring up at the sign, and I desperately want to know what she’s thinking about.
Does she like this place for a date?
Should I have chosen something she would have liked more?
Fuck. Why didn’t I ask her where she wanted to go?
I guess it’s too late now.
“Come on.” I reach for her hand, but she instantly flinches away from me. Horrible thoughts run through my mind about the real reason why she’s never been in a relationship. She said she’s a virgin, but do nonconsensual acts count?
Wait, do they? Did I—no.
Not tonight.
We aren’t going there tonight.
“You okay?” I ask slowly so I don’t scare her more. Her eyes fly up to mine as she quickly nods. “Can I not hold your hand?”
“I just wasn’t expecting you to.”
Thank god. But wait. “You’re my girlfriend, remember?”
There’s a hint of fear in her eyes that I wish would go away. “Birdie said no touching.”
“She said no excessive touching,” I clarify. I take her hand in mine and lift it between us. “This I wouldn’t say is excessive.”
She stares at our hands like no one’s ever held her hand before. Dear god, has no one ever held her hand before? I drop our hands, and her eyes come back to mine.
This beautiful girl stares at me like she can mess up holding a person's hand, and my mind instantly goes back to her parents.
Did they never hold her hand when crossing the street or when she cried? My mother was out of touch, but I was still able to hold her hand when I needed to.
“You know, if you’re ever uncomfortable with something, you can just tell me.”
Her eyes widen a fraction before she calms her expression and nods. I don’t believe her, but I hope she’s never uncomfortable with me. I don’t think I could handle it if she were.
I nod back and gently tug her hand to lead her into Triple S.