Chapter 14
Tane
Iwasn’t sure how Danon had persuaded me to go down the street to the gym with him for a game of handball.
I was still silently questioning my mind about Kirion.
But now, here I was, wearing gym clothes I purchased at their counter, hitting ricocheting balls and remembering how good I was at this game, how great it felt to move and run and chase.
I exercised regularly in my gym at home, but only alone.
Playing a game with a partner felt wonderful.
I completely lost track of the afternoon, which was unlike me.
By the time we were done, it was dark out. My stomach grumbled for dinner. At the thought of food, I immediately pictured Kirion sitting at the table with me, enjoying the food and being good company. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed having a guest for dinner until he joined me for meals.
My stomach flipped at the nice thought. I wondered what Kirion was doing right now. I was sure he was fine but felt a sudden urge to know.
On the way home the limo got stuck in traffic. Rain pounded the streets. Everyone drove slowly. My urge to see Kirion was strong and there was no reason for it. Well, there were reasons. But I didn’t want to let myself think them. I poured myself a drink and tried to relax.
Danon got me willing to admit that I was attracted to him.
But admitting that I had gone to wolf country for a companion for myself and not Malin was harder.
Malin was such a frustration, always on my mind as a personal failure for which I took all the blame, and it was still compulsive for me to think I’d been on a mission to solve that.
“You can’t control others, only yourself through your decisions,” Danon had said. “You can’t change others.”
Intellectually, I knew that.
There was no denying Kirion was mine whether or not I wanted to own up to my intentions.
Now what?
Danon had not come right out and said I should consider all possibilities with Kirion.
But he did say, “Take your time. Get to know him. He’s under your wing now and since you’ve stated you would never return him it’s better to accept the situation and just go with whatever the future holds.
Nothing is for sure. You have choices and he has choices. ”
I liked that he didn’t push me. He didn’t ask any questions about my social life, sex, or anything like that.
He led me to these contemplations and then left it all to me to think about.
He knew I responded best that way. My broken bond had left me withdrawn and non-talkative for a long period.
I responded best to non-aggressive conversation and vague suggestions.
When I stopped seeing Danon more than a couple times a year, I did a lot of self-help stuff online. But nothing had helped me address the Malin situation.
I sighed, draining my glass as the limo pulled up my private drive.
Malin’s next trip had been weather-delayed. I hoped I didn’t run into him. My thoughts made me feel like a terrible father, but I couldn’t help but think that it was best for me and for my staff when he was gone.
I asked the driver to take me to the covered porch instead of the garage. It was a shorter distance to the stairwell to the second floor. The sooner I could get to my room and change into fresh clothes, the sooner I'd be downstairs to see Kirion for dinner.
I ran up the steps through the watery onslaught without having to open my umbrella.
I hung my slightly damp coat and umbrella on the hooks by the door, then hurried to the stairs. Just as I rounded the first three steps I saw Malin standing halfway down.
I stopped, looking up with raised eyebrows.
“Where were you?” he asked accusingly.
“Out on errands. Why?”
“Well, the mutt’s gone.”
“What did you just say?”
“The omega. He's run away or something, I don't know.”
“Have you looked around the house?”
“Yep. Checked everywhere, even his rooms. Your precious commodity has flown the coop. I knew it wouldn't work out. It was a stupid idea anyway.”
I pressed my lips tight, wanting badly to ask Malin what he had done.
Kirion was an innocent in this. What a fool I'd begin to leave knowing Malin would be in the house alone with the set omega I'd forbidden him to have contact with.
Malin always did the opposite of what I told him to do. Don't touch? He would touch.
“Well, let's keep looking.” I kept my voice calm but my heart was pattering like the rain. If Kirion had run away there was a good reason for it. And Malin had to be involved.
“He probably left the house and will never return,” Malin said.
“He has nowhere to go. He doesn't know his way around. Besides, the storm is really bad out there. He wouldn't go out in it.”
Malin shrugged as if he couldn't be bothered to care. “If that's what you think.”
“I'll go check his rooms.” I hurried up the stairs and shoved past my son.
“I already did.”
“I'll check again.”
“Suit yourself.”
Our conversations always went that way even when there wasn't any drama.
When I got to Kirion’s bedroom I knocked on the door and called his name.
No response. Slowly, I opened the door and stepped inside.
The room was dark except for one light on in the closet.
From where I stood I could see the room was a shambles.
Things had been broken, lamps turned over, bedspread askew, clothes strewn from the closet door to all around the bed.
His laptop was on the floor and there was broken glass on the countertop of the little bar where I found the fridge was wide open as if the hinges had been damaged.
“What the hell?” I stepped further into the room and called out. “Kirion.”
But I could already tell he wasn't here. His scent had faded. He hadn't been in here for hours.
Why would he destroy his room like this? He’d shown no hint of anger at lunch and seemed fine to learn that I was going out for the afternoon.
I wanted to confront Malin again but when I came out and look down the stairwell he was long gone.
I searched the second room that I'd given to Kirion but it was easy to see he wasn't in there. There were other guest rooms and I gave a quick look over them all but they were undisturbed.
I ran down two flights of stairs to the first floor and begin to walk slowly through all the rooms, peering behind couches, chairs, under tables, everywhere I could think to look. I asked the cooks in the kitchen. They’d not seen him all afternoon. Nor had Elias.
I turned around twice in frustration, rubbing my forehead. I hurried back to the big living room and spoke out loud to myself. “He couldn't have gone outside, could he?”
Follow his scent.
I took a step back, startled. Tanekan had not spoken in thirteen years.
It was almost alarming to hear his voice.
We'd flown together. He enjoyed his exercise.
In the past few years his emotions were always relaxed, nonchalant.
He was happiest when he was free to take flight without a time limit and I tried to give him that at least twice a week to make up for the fact that after Rupert died I didn't shift for over a year.
It was wonderful to hear him again.
“Tanekan.” I spoke aloud, almost breathless. “I’ve missed your voice.”
He did not respond to my comment.
We know his scent well. I will help. Follow.
“Tanekan,” I said again. My heart ached. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I've always been here.
“I know. But not your thoughts. You've guarded them all these years.”
I had nothing to say.
“I'm so sorry.”
Maybe you weren't listening. There is no fault. No blame. Now, listen to me. Follow his scent.
Hot tears burned in my eyes. I wasn't listening? Was I that terrible of a person?
I repeat, no blame. Follow his scent. Please do this now.
I lifted my head and sniffed the air. I took a few steps forward and repeated the gesture. Something tingled through me. It was difficult to describe. The sweetness, maybe, of planting and replanting. Light rushing around me—Tanekan and me—in flight.
As if of their own will, my feet took a few forward steps.
When I got to the stairs I ran up them two at a time.
At the second story landing I heard music coming from Malin’s room, glad he was occupied for now.
I knew he’d done something and I no longer wanted to fight.
I just needed to make sure Kirion was all right.
My senses led me to the hall opposite from Malin’s space. Past my office. All the way to my bedroom door.
This couldn’t be right. I’d made it quite clear no one was ever allowed into my bedroom but cleaning staff every Friday morning. Certainly, Kirion wouldn’t breach that rule.
I stood in front of the door just staring.
Keep going.
I raised my palm to the handle and pressed. Nothing. I pressed again. Locked. I hadn’t left it that way this morning.
Something was wrong.
Running to my office, I came around my desk and opened the top drawer. Inside was a box where I kept the key.
Turning, I went back to the bedroom and slipped the key in the hole. The door opened.
The room was dark but I could see water and wind thrashing against the windows. The hall light cast moving shadows on the walls. Nothing moved. But the scent was strongest here and I knew I had found him.
I stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me and storing the key in my pocket. The living area of the room was two steps down.
The couch.
As I came around the side I saw a small figure curled up tight and a satin pillow beneath a head covered in bright blond hair. I walked between the couch and the coffee table and stood before him.
“Kirion?”
The figure jerked and abruptly sat up. “Malin,” he whispered.
Malin? I was right. Something had happened.
I knelt down and Kirion backed up tight against the cushion clutching his knees to his chest. The beautiful scent I’d been following projected an edge of fire. Fear.
“It’s Tane. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
He hissed. “Oh, Tane. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to come in here. Honest. I didn’t.”
“Quiet.” I held up my hand. “It’s okay.” My mind was going a hundred miles a second. “I think I understand.”
“I needed to… I just couldn’t….” He stuttered.
He wasn’t all right. He was afraid. I remembered the mess in his room. The only person who would cause this was Malin. No one else in my household would cause Kirion stress. I had to make it right.
All I could think to say was, “I’m home now.”
“I’m sorry I intruded. I’ll leave.”
It was strange standing there talking in the dark. I reached over to an end table and turned on a lamp. Soft light poured over us. The first thing I noticed were Kirion’s bare feet. He wore jeans and a white button up. His bandaged hand lay cradled in his lap.
“First, a question.”
He looked up at me, worried.
“Are you all right?”
He gulped. Then nodded.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“He didn’t touch you?”
He frowned. “How did you…?”
“I’m sorry I left you alone here with him. I thought he’d be gone last night.” I sighed. “Everyone did. And then the storm hit.”
Kirion gulped hard again. “He didn’t touch me. I hid.”
This was the deal-breaker. I needed to confront Malin finally, once and for all, and tell him to leave.
It had been a long time coming. I’d been too guilty to give him an ultimatum and kept putting it off for another day.
This was the day. He could afford his own place.
Two alphas in the same house who did not get along was a setup for disaster even if they were related.
I sighed. He would never forgive me.
But forgiveness was already a moot point. He had always blamed me for his unhappiness. He needed to leave and find his own way. Maybe that was the only way. Maybe I’d held on for too long and he’d stayed because he could. Because it was easy. Because I spoiled him.
Not anymore. This was my home. Malin needed his own alpha home.
“You won’t have to hide anymore. I promise. He’s going.”
Kirion blinked slowly. The silence grew heavy between us.
“I’m glad you’re all right.” I held out my hand to him. “Are you hungry?”
He nodded. Then took my hand and stood, gripping for balance. He was still shaky, poor guy.
“You were right to come in here. Malin is forbidden here.”
“I know. That’s why I did it. But I swear I never meant to intrude.”
“You didn’t.”
He looked up at me wonderingly. “But it’s your space.”
“It still is. And I’m glad it was a safe space for you. Come. Let’s eat.”
Still holding his hand, I led him into the hall and down to the dining room. To my surprise, he didn’t pull away.
That was handled well.