Chapter 33
Hudson
Ella sits beside me on the couch, the glass of wine in her hand all but forgotten.
She hasn’t said a word for damn near ten minutes, simply staring into space, glancing in my direction and opening her mouth as though to speak, before looking away again.
When she finally sets her glass on the coffee table and turns her body so her knees are on the couch, I prepare myself for whatever lecture is coming. Because Ella will always have something to say when it comes to me, my mental wellbeing, and any actions she perceives as mistakes.
“You’re pregnant,” she says rather than asks.
I nod.
Her eyes dart toward where poor Kane is standing near the front door, his eyes straight ahead, his hands clasped in front of him. I’ve invited him to sit, offered a seat at the breakfast bar, even told him he could hang out in my bedroom to watch TV.
Apparently, he doesn’t budge when he’s on duty. What he thinks he’s guarding me from, I’m not sure.
“And he’s, like, your personal guard? Is he your Kevin Costner?”
I frown at her in confusion.
“You know. Like on The Bodyguard? Whitney Houston?” She then proceeds to sing “I Will Always Love You” extremely off-key, causing me to laugh.
Even Kane’s lips twitch as he struggles to hold back his laugh.
“Today is actually the second time we met. He brought me back to pack up my stuff. You met him then. I think.” I try to remember whether the two actually interacted.
“That wasn’t me. That was my brother,” Kane says without looking in my direction.
“Are you twins?” Otherwise, the brothers either have only two parents or one of their fathers sired them both.
“Yes.” One word. Nothing else. And he still isn’t looking in our direction.
Ella’s wide eyes move back to me, a smile on her lips before she mouths, “that’s hot.” I’m sure she wouldn’t mind being sandwiched between twins during her next cycle. Except I have no idea whether Kane or his brother are single or already have packs.
“Well? Do you have a due date?”
“Um,” I say, glancing at Kane. There’s so much more I need to tell her, but I really don’t want to have this conversation with an audience, especially when they’re loyal to the alphas. He could easily run back and tell them every single thing I tell my best friend.
And sorry, but what’s said between Ella and me should always be kept between us. There are things neither of us would want others to ever know about.
After a few moments of silence, the big alpha guard’s eyes finally dart in my direction. He seems to pick up on my reluctance to speak in front of him, dips his head, and steps through the front door.
“Hey. You can hang out in my bedroom like I offered. There’s a big TV with a crap ton of streaming services. Just tell the alphas I was in your sight the whole time. Not like anything will happen if you’re in the other room.”
Kane hesitates, his hand on the knob, his eyes going from me to the hallway outside, then to the hallway leading to my bedroom.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone you binged House Omegas of Beverly Hills,” I tease.
His brows pucker a second, but they smooth and his lips quirk as he once again tries to hold back a smile.
After he shuts the door and twists all the locks in place, he heads to my room, closing the door quietly behind him.
“Tell me. What’s going on? I knew this was all too good to be true. Are they assholes? Abusive? I’ll kill them with my bare hands.” Ella is getting herself worked up before she even knows what the hell I’m going to say.
“Reel it in, psycho. They’re not assholes. Not abusive in the least. They’re actually really sweet and kind and gentle.” Except when Mason loses himself to lust, but I’m not complaining about that.
“Then what? Your scent has been off. I know some of that is from pregnancy hormones, but there’s stress hormones literally pouring from you.”
I chew on my bottom lip a second, then release it, pulling it down between my fingers, then pull the collar of my shirt to the side.
Ella lunges from the couch. “Holy shit! They bonded you?! Against your fucking will? You should totally turn them in! You know what? Fuck that! I’m calling—” I snatch her phone away when she pulls it free to call her massive alpha brothers.
“It wasn’t against my will, Ella. Chill the fuck out.” I cut my eyes to the hallway as Kane appears around the corner, his brows pinched together as he checks on me. “It’s fine.”
He nods and disappears again, the door closing with an audible click. “Fuck. Keep your voice down.”
“What happened?” Ella is seething. And her sweet cherry and honey scent is tart with anger.
“This one happened during my heat. We were both lost to our hindbrain. And this one,” I say, pointing to my lip. “I begged for it. I begged one of the alphas for the bite.”
“Why? You know this shit will end in a year. Why would you put yourself through this…” She watches me a few moments. My freaking eyes burn, and I can’t keep the tears from welling in my eyes.
When one rolls over my lashes to trail down my cheek, she lunges for me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“You fell in love with them,” she whispers as I rest my head on her shoulder.
All I can do is nod. I haven’t told them that. I’m not sure I’ve fully admitted it to myself. I know I have feelings for them. I recognize their scents as my match. I can feel it in my bones, in my heart and soul that those three alphas are it for me.
“But…they don’t feel the same. At least Mason doesn’t. I heard him. I heard him telling Alex and Des they would take me to have the bond dissolved after I gave birth.”
As I force all that through my closing throat, Ella simply holds me and listens.
When I realize I’m soaking her shirt, I pull away and scrub at my cheeks, feeling silly for having a complete and total meltdown when I knew exactly what I was getting into from the start.
“Shit,” she whispers under her breath. “I’m sorry.” She swipes the tears from her own cheeks before saying, “How about just a kneecapping. I won’t have them killed but –”
I huff out a surprised laugh. “No kneecapping. No brothers being called. I’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out,” I say, reaching over to grab a couple tissues for both of us instead of sitting here sniffling.
“Have you told them how you feel? Like, had a sit down, serious conversation?” she asks before blowing her nose.
I shake my head and toss my used tissue onto the coffee table where I’m sure a pile will grow before the night is over.
“There’s no point. I heard them. I heard Mason. I knew going into this it would end in one way. I won’t be the first person on the planet with a broken heart. There’s a whole genre of unrequited love for a reason.”
I try to force a smile, try to keep my tone playful, but those stupid tears have returned.
“So…what are you going to do?”
Dropping back against the couch, I roll my head to look at her.
“I’m thinking about staying here for a while.
I’ll have to go back to pack up some things since I took practically my entire wardrobe and most my toiletries over there, but…
I think I might need some space. Make my heart and mind understand the alphas aren’t mine. ”
“You think they’ll be okay with that?”
“It was part of the deal. I could either stay with them or stay here while they pay the expenses. The only other change will be…” I jerk my head toward my bedroom. “Someone will be hovering over me until the baby’s born.”
“You said they were lawyers,” she says with a confused frown.
“Yeah.”
“Why the bodyguards?”
“I think they’re just being protective. Overprotective. Whatever. It’s fine. As long as they don’t interfere with my life, I don’t mind.”
“No outside alphas, though?”
I shake my head. “No. That was the other big part. They don’t want me having sex with anyone else. But that was a safety thing, not a control thing.”
And honestly, now that I’ve met who I truly believe to be my soul mates, I can’t imagine myself having meaningless sex with complete strangers. Not any time soon, at least.
“You do realize being pregnant makes you horny, right? It’s a hormonal thing or something. You prepared to jerk off or use toys for the next nine months?”
Just like I had, Ella is doing what she can to try to lighten the mood.
“Won’t be the first or last time, I’m sure.”
It will, however, be the first time I’ll have to nurse a broken heart.