Chapter 14
Alone
Liora
Iwas alone at last. Dr. Nova had driven me two towns over so I'd feel better about staying put for a bit, so she could check in on me from time to time. She pulled up in front of a hotel and told me to wait while she went in to get a room for me.
"I put it under my name, just in case," she told me, handing me the keycard. "You don't have to tell me what you're running from, but I can tell it's bad. If your previous pack is after you, this will make it that much harder for them to find you."
"Thank you," I smiled at her, barely able to see past the throbbing of my head.
"You need rest. I'm going to pick up some groceries for you, but after that I want you lying down in a dim room, resting and eating and hydrating."
"Yes, doctor."
She drove around the building to the back and parked in front of room 103. "This is you. I'll be back in about twenty minutes."
I hobbled to the door and got the keycard to work on the first try.
Giving the doctor a wave, I stepped into the room that smelled of fake lavender cleaning solution.
It was a basic room, with a double bed and a small fridge and microwave, but it was perfect for my needs.
I didn't even bother turning on the lights, I just crawled up onto the bed and rested my aching head on the soft pillow.
How long had it been since I'd had softness in my life?
Too long. As an omega, it was something I craved and desperately wanted, but it was also dangerous to get used to.
Lying on the bed with my eyes closed, I enjoyed just being alone. It was nice not to worry about cleaning, patching myself up, or figuring out what was for dinner. There was no waiting for alphas to come home, no worrying about what kind of mood they might be in. It was relaxing.
By the time Dr. Nova returned, I was half asleep. She knocked quietly and I hopped up, wincing as the pain increased in my head.
"Here's everything you need for the next few days, but I want you to call me for anything you need. Or call the men, they're waiting for you to need something."
"I don't have a phone," I confessed.
"Here." She held out a smartphone with a sparkly purple cover.
"I can't . . ." I shook my head. "This is too much."
"Don't worry about it. The pack is paying for everything." She winked at me. "I just bill them what they need to pay. But full transparency, Aiden gave me this phone to give to you. It already has their numbers and mine added in the contacts."
Smiling, I accepted the phone and sat down on the bed while she quickly put everything away.
"There are some painkillers here on the bedside table, take two every six hours. Drink plenty, I've left water and some snacks there too. There are salads and fruits and puddings in the fridge."
"Thank you. You're really being nice to me," I felt tears well up in my eyes. "It's been a while."
"Hey, no crying. You're strong. We do need to make a report to the OPA though and let them know ORC is failing with their screening."
"What if they take me back?"
"We'll make sure that doesn't happen." She sounded so sure, but I knew there was no stopping the inevitable.
I was a rejected omega. We had very few rights in the world and that meant I would either be sent to yet another pack or simply put in the heat dens to serve out my days on my back. The though made me shudder.
Dr. Nova gave me a hug and pointed to the bed. "Rest. And call me if you need anything."
She left and I got up to bolt the door and check outside. The parking lot was mostly empty and I relaxed when I didn't see anyone lurking. No one would ever know I was here. But just to be absolutely certain, I wedged a chair under the door handle before curling up on the bed to sleep.
I spent the next three days sleeping, getting up to pee, take more meds and eat something before I curled up in my blankets again and passed out for the next eight hours. It was incredible.
Stretching out on the third day, I realized the ache in my head was down to a dull throb and I didn't have any pain when I got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I'd be able to get out of here soon. The thought made me smile.
I grabbed the last salad from the fridge and unwrapped a plastic fork to eat it with, dumping ranch dressing all over the ingredients.
As I took the first mouthful, I walked to the window and pulled the curtain aside a couple of inches to peek outside.
And promptly screamed, dropping the salad and leaping back.
Someone was looking back at me.
"It's just me, Finn!" Finn's voice sounded from outside. "Shit, are you okay, Li?"
"What the fuck?" I pulled back the bolt and threw open the door, staring at the man standing on my doorstep.
"We hadn't heard anything from you for days, I had to see if you were okay." His eyes scanned my body. "You're alive. Are you hurt still? Do you need anything?"
"I need peace and quiet," I snapped, but I wasn't feeling as awful as before. The rage against my former pack still bubbled in my chest, but not with the same intensity now that I'd slept a bit.
"I'm sorry. But, like, food? Do you have food?" He looked at the cherry tomato that had rolled up to my foot.
"I did. You made me drop it."
"Shit." He ran a hand through his curls. "Okay, I can fix this. Get dressed and I'll take you out. Anywhere you want. You can eat and then we'll get you more food. Blankets. Anything."
I stood for a moment staring at the man who was on the verge of breaking down right in front of me.
He looked terrible. His usually neatly shaved face was covered in days old stubble and he had bags under his eyes.
I should be furious with him and I was, but .
. . why not accept some help? He owed me. They all did.
"Okay."
I shut the door in his face, took a shower and got dressed before pocketing the keycard and stepping out into the light of day.
Finn leaned against the railing waiting, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes lit up when he saw me come out of the room.
"This doesn't mean forgiveness. It means I'm owed a lot and I'm taking it," I told him.
"Understood." His head bobbed, his hair bouncing. "I will grovel for a million years if you want and you don't ever have to forgive me. But Liora, I am really, really sorry."
"I know. But sorry doesn't fix what you broke." I let out a sigh and waved a hand. "Let's go. I'm hungry."
He made me wait while he ran for his car, which was parked somewhere out of sight. That alone made me suspicious, but I pushed the thought aside. There was time for all that later. Right now, my stomach was rumbling and all I could think about was a steak from my favorite restaurant.
"Here," Finn opened the door for me. He leaned over and pulled the seatbelt across my lap and checked that it was secure before he carefully closed the door, all without actually touching me.
Once he was in the driver's seat, he looked at me hopefully. "What do you want to eat?"
"Rosemary's steak."
He grinned at me. "Good choice."
We drove to the restaurant and he took me inside, careful not to actually touch me, but opening the door, pulling out my chair and acting like a perfect gentleman.
But that had never been the issue. They'd all been gentlemen, right up until the end.
Maybe I didn't want someone who was polite and perfect and polished.
I wanted messy and emotional and loving.
The thought made my chest ache and I stopped eating, staring at my steak with a sick feeling in my stomach. There was no way I could have what I was craving. A loving pack that would actually care enough about me to focus on my needs over their duties elsewhere.
"What's wrong?" Finn immediately picked up on my unhappiness.
"Just coming to some realizations." I poked at my food, not as hungry anymore, but determined not to waste food.
"Like?" he prompted, a small frown on his face.
"Like the fact that what I want in life is impossible to have for someone like me." I regretted the words the second they slipped out, seeing the flash of pain in his eyes.
"What do you want in life, Liora? I will do everything I can to give it to you."
"You can't," I said sadly. "No one can."
We ate in silence for the rest of the meal.
I turned down dessert when it was offered and Finn led me back to the car.
I was tired already, my body too worn down to handle more than going to a restaurant to eat, so I told Finn to take me back to the hotel instead of going shopping like he'd suggested.
Back in my room, I took my pills, curled up on the bed, and sobbed into the pillows.