32. Chapter 32
32
Spring crept slowly through the cracks of cold clay. I noticed it more on the back of Buttercup, the tamer of Ruck’s new mustangs. I kept my gaze up, as instructed. Ruck’s face was tight as I passed him in the corral, and he judged my riding with a critical eye. My forehead creased in concentration; knees too tight around the shaggy horse. She was still losing her winter coat, and I brushed her each day to get her used to my voice and the touch of someone.
“Let her breathe a bit, Esta. You’re safe, you won’t fall.”
My chest heaved as I loosened my knees. Spine, tall and straight , I heard Ruck’s instructions in my ear. But I knew my seat was good on the former mustang. Ruck had been working on Buttercup and another bay colored gelding, Mr. Jones, for a month now, and this was another of his tests. Teaching me to ride a horse was one of the first things Ruck wanted to do as soon as spring began and he wasted no time in it.
Oliver watched from the sidelines, his boots lodged between the posts and a toothpick between his teeth. The list of jobs grew, but somehow, my alphas found themselves milling around home. Warmth blossomed like spring flowers at the thought. Home. Nettle lay at Oliver’s feet. Her eyes cracked open to slits. I spotted a blur of Hale as he exited the barn and stood next to his brother. The wind sliced through my hair, the scent fresh and welcoming. I still missed the insular bubble the winter afforded us.
But spring felt like an awakening, a chance for forgiveness and the future.
New growth was a carpet of hope over the thawed landscape. From the tender shoots of bluebonnets that peeked through the planters the men attached to the porch. To the heralding call of birds at the first hint of sun in the morning. My head was dizzy as I spotted the cleared space beside the barn. A space for a chicken coop, newly built.
Another thing Hale did to win my favor. I trotted past Hale and Oliver and called out, clutching the reins with one hand.
“Am I riding well?” My grin took up my entire face, even though the sight of it terrified the alphas.
Ruck tried teaching me side saddle, like a lady should ride. I’d watched women every day from the window of my father’s house, but they didn’t ride like this. Legs parted with rolling horse flesh between them. With their hair streaming unbound, wind whistling past their ears. The horizon in tantalizing reach. Maybe side saddle was appropriate in the city, where a woman rode at a sedate pace. But out in the wildlands, the rules were different. I chased the horizon, tasting the fizz of freedom in the back of my throat.
I liked how the wildlands felt in my veins. Blood thick with excitement, pumping with vitality.
“Hold on tight,” Oliver called out, his jaw ticking with barely restrained fear.
I’d taken a small fall early in my lessons and the big man never recovered from the sight of my bruised behind and glistening tears. Buttercup’s muscles rolled under my legs, and I let her power flow through me.
“I could keep riding forever,” I shouted to the wispy, white clouds. Buttercup’s hooves kicked up small clods of dirt, marring the edge of my skirt. What was dirt in the face of such overwhelming joy? I wanted to bottle the feeling in my chest. The way it expanded to the point of pain. So much love, so much joy, it was impossible to contain it all in one place. Ruck waved me down, and I pulled Buttercup to a stop with ease.
“You like the soft life, don’t you, Buttercup girl?” Ruck murmured as he stroked her velvet nose. “Unlike her owner, who has a glint in her eye I don’t trust.”
I bounced in the saddle, riotous energy ricocheting through my veins.
“You know, I dreamed of this, I hoped, but I never thought I could feel so much in here.” I rubbed my chest and Ruck plucked me from the saddle and cradled me to his chest. Our scents tangled together. He crooned soft noises as I breathed through the tightness in my throat. The emotion caught me off guard.
“Knowing I can be a part of that happiness is my dream come true, darlin’.”
I nuzzled into Ruck’s thick neck, throwing my arms around him. My flirtatious gentleman cowboy.
“There’s just one thing keeping it from being perfect,” I whispered.
Ruck hummed, and it vibrated through me. His lips feathered a soft kiss over my forehead as he helped me find my feet again.
“Hale? Both he and Oliver are rushing to your rescue right now.” His lips kicked up in a wry smile, and I tried to smother the outburst of emotion before they got to me. Hale and Oliver peeled themselves off the fence and were walking around to investigate my sudden stop. My cheeks burned. Oliver’s concern was a small flickering flame inside my chest. He could sense more than my poor effort of schooling my expression.
Not like Hale. His shadow stretched like a giant across the ground, and I remembered when the sight of him intimidated me. Tall, broad, all things impenetrable. He’d locked me out with a coldness I couldn’t forgive. The twisted red scar was still visible on his clean-shaven jaw. A garish memento of everything he’d been through. He didn’t hide it anymore and knowing how he got it, all the pain he’d experienced at the machinations of an omega gave me pause.
“Esta, are you alright?” Hale reached me first. But my reply was cut off as we heard Bram shouting as he crested the hill. My heart slammed into my throat and Oliver shoved me behind his back. Bram waved something overhead, and his smile split his face. But still the alphas didn’t relax, not until he got closer, and they saw what he was holding.
A flash of gold.
Bram’s boots skidded as he leaped through the fence and into the corral. Buttercup shied to the side, unnerved by his exuberance. Oliver let his death grip on me go and I slipped out from behind him.
“L-look what I f-found.” Bram puffed through his exertion. His fingernails were black with dirt, and it smeared over the lump cradled in his hands. I’d never seen gold before, except shaped into fine jewelry for the rich. It was a different, but equally brilliant, luster, somehow more impressive because of its size and rawness. Hale plucked it from Bram’s hands with a shout.
“Where exactly did you find this?” Hale asked Bram as he turned the uneven, golden nugget over. It was larger than his palm, and he hefted to test the weight. Curiosity bubbled in my stomach. Bram bounced on his toes, unable to calm his own excitement.
“It’s gold, right? Isn’t it? I’ve seen the tiny nugget the mayor has in his office, and this is double—no—quadruple the size.”
“It’s gold alright, Bram.” Hale couldn’t keep the shake out of his voice. Oliver reached over to hold it as well. Gold? What did this mean for us as a family, a pack? And if there was more? We could build an entire town using the money this gold would bring.
“How can it be?” I whispered, reaching out to touch the huge nugget.
“Misery Creek was founded on gold. The families who stayed after it dried up carved their own wealth out of blood, sweat, tears and time. Nobody has even smelled a whiff of gold for decades.” Hale explained to me, his eyes still wide with shock.
Bram snatched the nugget back, holding it up against his head.
“It’s almost the size of my head,” he exclaimed, and Ruck took it from him this time. Awe shone on his face, tentative hope.
“Where did you find it, Bram?” Hale slipped into the role of responsible guardian.
Nobody else could do it so well. Bram dug the toe of his boot into the ground, sheepish. I made a noise, knowing that look immediately. It was the same one Birdie made when she’d stolen something of mine to use for one of her experiments.
“The weather was finally decent today, so I went to investigate the ravine Esta fell in. I wanted to see where it happened.” His eyes shifted when Hale growled, caught in a lie. The alphas bristled, and I shivered with their combined unease.
Did he not understand the reason I’d fallen in the first place?
“I told you not to go there, Bram. We’ve come off a long, cold winter and those wolves might still be out there. Hungrier than ever. You promised me you wouldn’t stray too far. I trusted you to do the right thing.”
My pulse hammered in my ear at the thought of Bram near the hungry, vicious wolf. Bram jutted out his chin, ready to defend his actions.
“Hale.” Ruck’s voice was a low, teasing reminder. Hale’s shoulders dropped, and he ruffled Bram’s hair with a sigh. The boy didn’t relax, not trusting the abrupt change by his stern, older brother. He looked between Ruck and Hale with suspicion, eyes narrowing as Oliver disguised a laugh under a cough.
“You should have seen Hale and I at your age.” Ruck’s tone was wistful. “Too bold for our parents. Hale and I roamed the wildlands at all hours. We spent many nights under the stars, sleepless with the howl of distant wolves. The ravine was one of our favorite places, but we saw no gold there. Remember when we went into that old mine shaft in the wildlands with Jameson?”
“Don’t remind me,” Hale groaned.
“Hale got too scared, and bailed last minute—”
“And good thing I did too, or you wouldn’t be telling this story,” Hale added hotly.
“Jameson and I crawled into an abandoned mine shaft, and it was pitch black, terrifying. While we were exploring, there was a loud rumble, and we bolted for the entrance. Hale was waiting at the top and helped pull us out as it fell in on itself.”
“So cool,” Bram’s eyes widened with awe.
“This is not placating me in any way,” my tone was dry.
“I was always searching for the next surge of excitement. The next big thing. When Jameson left for the wildlands, I thought I was making a mistake by not going with him. I sometimes wonder if he found something worth setting roots for out there. I was wild when I was younger, but not anymore. Now a pretty omega tamed me.”
“It’s a bit ironic.”
“What’s that darlin’?”
“You, taking these wild horses and breaking them. Making them fit the mold we expect. You kind of did the same thing with yourself.”
For a moment Ruck froze, but then a small, soft smile tugged at his lips and he tossed the nugget between his hands. The tension eased, but I drew Bram into the circle of my embrace, needing to feel the warmth of his body. Hale might be fine with Bram tramping off into the wilderness, but I wasn’t. Not when the snarl of sharp, pointed teeth still plagued my dreams. I shivered involuntarily and Hale snapped his head up, noticing the slight tremble.
“Please, if you harbor any care for me, no wandering off on your own, Bram. Take Nettle with you if you insist.” I interjected and held out my hand to Ruck. He tipped the nugget into my hand and leaned over to kiss my forehead.
“If I stayed where you wanted me to, I’d never leave the house,” Bram argued with a boyish scowl that made my insides twist.
The peculiar joy inflated again, making my fingers tingle. How like a family we were, bickering and bantering. It made me miss Birdie. She would have taken the nugget under investigation already, trying to crack it open and discern if it was pure as it looked. She would have planned another escape with Bram out into the wilderness in search of answers.
“Do you have a peculiar allergy to staying alive and well?”
Bram wriggled out of my hold and stole the nugget as he did. He held it aloft and mischief sparked in place of his slight temper.
“Maybe I should find a grass snake, ask it the question,” he winked. He didn’t look so young at this moment. “You know, part of the ravine collapsed, and that’s where I found the gold. There must be more. Wouldn’t have found that if I was safe and sound at home.”
Ruck, Oliver and Hale exploded into an animated discussion, but I was stuck on what Bram said. Staying safe was the pillar of my previous life. Breton City taught me of danger, and I’d fled from it in more ways than one. Panic made me bold, or stupid. A letter from Hale changed the course of my life, but I had to throw aside the blanket of safety to snatch the opportunity.
I’d risked everything when I stepped onto the train to Misery Creek.
It was worth taking. Because I’d found something worth fighting for. A family. A gust of wind whipped a cloud of dust into all of us and I spluttered as the grains of dirt coated my lips and turned my eyes bleary. Earth coated my tongue. The wildlands were inside of me like an anchor. I’d been keeping my heart safe from Hale, locked away in a cage like I’d once been.
What would happen if I threw safety to the wind once more?
My heart pounded at the prospect. What would our pack look like with Hale’s mark on my neck? Thick yearning slammed into my chest, smothering the wariness I used to shield myself.
“I can’t fault you there, Bram, and this is a once in a lifetime find. It could change everything for us, especially if there is more.” Hale rubbed his eyes with his fists, and the seriousness he always exuded turned lopsided with a giddy smile. “The mayor is going to be furious. Our nugget is so much bigger than his.”
“I can’t wait to rub it in Derek’s face at school.” Bram chortled and Hale’s smile dropped. Ruck snatched the nugget and waved a hand at the boy to calm him down.
“Bram, you can’t tell anyone about this. Not yet. Do you understand? Gold is precious, and it brings out the worst in some people. Until we know what we’re working with, keep your lips sealed. Right now, you need to wash those hands of yours. Off you go.”
“I don’t have a wobblin’ jaw, you know that.” Bram rolled his eyes and looked at his filthy hands, sending me a wink. “Worth it,” Bram said before he raced away.
“How has it been in town the last few times you went?” The tension was back in Hale’s stance. Like he suspected a threat. Ever since my run in with Claudia, I’d kept my visits to Lucinda’s or the town hall while I completed our plans for the Spring Dance next week.
“I know what you’re fishing for. So just ask.” Oliver waved an impatient hand.
“I’ve been worried about whether the townspeople know we’re living as a pack. Add in this miraculous find, and we’d be inviting trouble if the news got out.” Hale chewed on his bottom lip. “We haven’t been going to church.”
“We’re never going back to their weak god,” I spat out. My fractured faith felt like a stomach-turning lie I couldn’t digest now. For so long I’d believed human bred lies about the only way to live.
I couldn’t go back to pretending.
“Of course not, but it raises questions and with one mouthy omega, who has a grudge against our pack? It’s got people curious. You know, it can turn into a mob mentality really quick when given the right ammunition. If it were up to me, we’d skip the Spring Dance altogether. But you’ve put so much time and energy into it.” Ruck reached down to scratch Nettle’s ear with a sigh. His grip was tight around the nugget. “I don’t know, Hale. Things feel shaky right now. We take this into town, and I could see it turning out badly.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” Unconsciously, I crept closer to Hale, tucking my fingers around his elbow. His thick eyelashes kissed his cheek for a long moment.
“This is the wildlands, star.” Oliver sighed, “even a sheriff will kill for the right price and that,” he nodded toward the nugget, “is a fortune. Desperate people would do anything to get their hands on it and if there was more on the ranch? They might come for us all to get it.”
My mind swirled. If only we could live at our ranch and not have to worry about Hierarchy Laws or humans. I’d discussed it with Lucinda many times since they discovered our secret. Going into Misery Creek felt like cutting off a limb each time. Having to police my every movement so I didn’t give away what was happening between Ruck, Oliver, and me.
“I’ve wondered what would happen if we went deeper into the wildlands. What if we found somewhere we could be a pack, free from the reach of humans? Wouldn’t that be amazing?” Hale sighed and again I thought about safety.
“You would leave the ranch? But… it means everything to you.” My mouth dropped open.
Hale grazed his fingers against my tight grip. The all-too-brief touch raced down my spine and filled my stomach with warmth. Hale met my gaze with a solemn look. Half his face was shaded by his tan, worn cowboy hat, which highlighted the strong, sharp edge of his jaw.
“You’re right. This ranch meant everything to me. But then I met a woman who stepped off a train, wearing a hat like spring. Red roses, pink cheeks and everything changed. This ranch was my parents’ dream, their legacy they built for us. Nothing matters to me except the people who live here, and I don’t care where we go, as long as I’m…” He trailed off, his stubbled cheeks turning dark. I squeezed his elbow, understanding what he was trying to say and appreciating the effort it took for the stoic man to be vulnerable.
“It would be an adventure,” Ruck added, tossing the gold between his hands. “You know I’ve always thought there was something calling me there.”
“You up for that, star?” Oliver asked me.
The wind caught his flaming hair, and I wondered what it would be like to explore with them. My stomach churned, but not only from fear. There was excitement. I knew all about taking risks to live a full life. We weren’t settlers. The idea was wild, even for someone raised in the wildlands. The deeper you went, the more barren it was. That was what every report said. Those who went further south never came back.
What if we took that leap? A chance to be a pack in the open. The idea terrified and exhilarated me, and I could tell from my alphas, they felt the same way.