Chapter 34
34
PENNY
Mark’s sinister laugh echoes in my ears, as he snakes a hand up my legs.
Beady eyes glisten with excitement.
It’s as if he’s morphed into someone else. Gone is the nice man trying to help me level up on my modeling career. Gone is the nice smile and the kind eyes.
Gone.
As his hand gets higher, my survival instincts kick in. I shake my leg to get him off.
No.
No.
“Please stop touching me there.”
I don’t like that.
I don’t want to be touched like that.
It doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right. This all feels wrong.
“Get off me.”
“You like it,” he insists.
Do I? Am I sending mixed messages? No.
“No,” I try again. My voice is raw. It burns to talk. Hurts. It’s as if someone dumped acid into the back of my throat and a layer has peeled off.
He runs his hands over my body. “You’ll like it more soon enough.”
I try to wriggle away. “No.”
“You crave the rough feel of my hands. Sluts love it rough.”
I shake my head but it makes me dizzy. “No.”
“You want to be a model, right?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“There’s not an agency in the country that will take little whiny, pathetic girls who can’t use their cunts, asses, or throats to get to the top. How do you think those models on the runway get there? Huh? Do you think they are actually talented? Use your brain, you idiot. This isn’t a talent search. Walking in a straight line isn’t a skill, darlin’. Anyone can wear clothes if they have a few curves in the right places, and those can be augmented anyway. This is the survival of the fittest.”
“But I don’t…”
“I will ask you again. Do you want to be a model?”
“Yes.” I do. I think I do.
“Well, consider this my casting couch.”
“Okay.”
Mark laughs. It’s so loud it hurts my ears.
“Prepare yourself to fuck your way there, you stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl. So trusting. So innocent. So pathetic. You’re probably thinking you have some type of talent. Stupid girl.”
I was convinced in the past by this man that I have what it takes.
But he is a big liar.
Liar!
Stupid girl…
Stupid girl.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I shake my head.
“No.”
“No?” Mark challenges.
“I’m not those things.”
I’m not stupid.
I’m not stupid.
You’re stupid.
You’re stupid.
I’m…
“Well, you’re stupid enough to think I have anything but ulterior motives. I have a little whore factory to run.” He grabs me hard by the back of the neck, pulling me to him. “And you’d make the prettiest test victim. You know why?” Mark tilts back his head and laughs—like he might never stop. When he finally calms down, he looks me square in the eyes. “Because you are expendable. Because if something goes wrong…oh well.”
I try to pull away.
I fight.
I kick.
I push and?—
CRACK.
The sound hits my ears before the pain in my upper cheekbone registers.
He hit me.
Why did he hit me?
I’m being good.
I’m not being bad.
Why?
Tears burst from my eyes, blinding me. The only serenity I get is that they mask his evil smile.
“There. That should tame the fight out of you.”
“You hurt me,” I wail in confusion.
My stuttered inhales are coming at a faster pace than my exhales. It feels like my entire head is shoved into a bag with a limited supply of oxygen.
It’s running out…
I double over, panting as the panic sets in.
“You better know your place. You are here as a test subject—nothing more.”
“Model…” I whimper.
“You dumb fuck. You aren’t pretty enough to model.”
Loading up a syringe from a tiny vial, Mark grabs my arm.
“Stop!” I scream, but no words come out…
Silence.
“Time for a little dose of medicine.” He twists my arm, making me wince. “It always makes poor little college students more compliant. As if a formal education will somehow make you less naive in thinking you actually have a chance of being a silly model. The best part is, if you die from an overdose, it will look like an accident.”
My eyes laser in on the rubber band Mark is tying around my arm.
NO!
I wiggle to try to get it off, while my other hand attempts to pry the band from my skin.
“Get it off!”
“Dumb fuck.”
With every ounce of energy I have, I go ballistic.
I thrash.
I claw.
I bite.
I knee.
“Fuck, you are delightful when you think you can fight me.”
I kick.
I beg.
I plead.
I cry.
I…
I…
And then I feel the pinch of the needle, puncturing through my skin.
Heat rushes to the injection site, as the burn from whatever drug Mark injected into me floods my system.
“Oh, wow. You definitely look like a rabid bitch with that foam coming out of your mouth. I hope I didn’t give you too much. I’m not into fucking the dead. I like a little life in my pussies.”
No!
Noooo!
“Wake up, bitch.”
He kicks me.
“You’re drooling everywhere.”
I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out.
Mark hovers over me, and I feel myself convulsing.
I’m going to die.
And part of me wishes I would.
I try to force the oxygen out of my lungs, hoping that my involuntary reflexes don’t kick in. I just want to float away to another place and be at peace.
“Penny?”
I hear my name but it sounds like it’s coming from a faraway place.
“Penny?”
It’s Collins.
He’s here.
It’s so scary.
“Penny?”
Why is Collins here?
He’s here in my nightmare.
Run, Collins!
Go away!
It’s a trap!
Mark will kill you!
He’s deranged!
Black fog fills my vision, and the only thing I see is Mark in the crowd of people watching me.
I’m in the water.
The river…
I’m taking pictures in the river…at the photoshoot.
My eyes focus on his black shirt, and on the pocket, I see the red rose logo for the little cafe.
My body convulses.
“He was there,” I gasp, thrusting myself upward.
“Penny? Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
Gentle hands shake me.
“He was there.”
“Penny. You’re scaring me. Wake up, Princess.”
“He was there.”
“Who?”
My eyes flutter open, searching for an anchor to keep me from sinking back into the depths of my trauma.
“Mark Tanner was there.”
Collins hugs me to him as I sob into his shoulder.
“You were having a bad dream,” he explains. “I tried to wake you.”
“It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a memory.”
Hugging me tighter, I let every tear that I ever held back consume me.
And I shatter—as all of the memories from the night I was drugged come flittering back like a boomerang.
“For nearly a year, I couldn’t remember much from that night. But now I remember everything.”
“Just let it all out. I got you. I’m never letting you go.”
“I hate him.”
“I know, Princess. I hate him too—more than you’ll ever probably realize.”
“He was at the river for my photoshoot. He was wearing a Rose City Cafe employee shirt. I saw him in the crowd. That’s why I think I slipped back into that unresponsive state. He was there. I remember he was there.”
Collins stiffens. “No, Penny.”
“ Yes. I saw him.”
“No… I think you were just imagining him there.”
“You don’t believe me?” Why doesn’t he believe me? “I saw him.”
“I just know he wasn’t there, Princess.”
“How do you know? Tell me.”
“Because when I was informed by Chris to come to the river to help you, I was paying Tanner a visit at the prison and was on my way back to the area.”
“Oh.” My mind races back through the nightmare. Was it truly a bad dream or was I remembering key information? “But…he was in the crowd. I saw him. He was watching me.”
“It wasn’t him,” Collins insists. “He can’t be in two places at once.”
“Yeah…”
“We looked through all the pictures and security footage. We also questioned everyone we could that was present that day. Nothing seemed out of place.”
“I’m going crazy. And I’m going to forever be plagued with the memory of that man.”
Collins hugs me to him, cradling me in his arms.
“Don’t you realize that you are so much bigger than that one moment from your past? I get that it has changed the course of your life, seemingly forever. But you have another life still to live.” Collins fixes the stray pieces of hair behind my ears. “You have a second chance life where you can be strong and fierce and empowered with the knowledge that some people do suck. But finding the good ones will be easier for you now. Don’t treat your tragedy as new lenses in your vision. Treat it like a turning point, where you now can start living your best life—letting go of what happened to you in the past. There will be many more moments. Better ones. But don’t you want to be able to recognize them before they pass you by?”
“I do,” I say softly. But I don’t sound very convincing, even to my own ears. “What if I can’t do it?”
Collins rubs a hand down the back of his neck. “You know how those dark thoughts—the ones that stay buried deep within your soul—can come out when you are at your lowest and not your best? That was where I was after I got discharged from the military. I thought my entire life was over. Then Graham hired me to work security and gave me a purpose again. I proved myself to be loyal and an asset to him. But then you were drugged, and your brothers needed extra protection and someone to help them discover what happened to you.”
“So they shifted your responsibilities.”
“Yes. And I accepted the new position because you were going to be my redemption. It was fate in a way, and I wanted to be the deliverer of the karma meant to take down the entire drug operation. I couldn’t fight and win against those who drugged me and set me up in the military, but I could seek out justice for you. I will always want what is best for you, Princess. Always.”
He kisses me on the forehead, as I snuggle deeper into his warmth.
“What is best for me is you, Collins.”
“I’m starting to believe that as well.”